You may not know this, but one of the outreaches I facilitate is an HR newsletter and forum called the HR Net. It goes out to over 14,000+ people globally each week. I write an intro called – “A Note from Steve . . .” This past week’s note felt like it needed to be posted to my blog and other platforms. It really struck me, and the response was overwhelming. So, I’m posting it here – give it a read.
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You have all been so kind to allow me to send you this newsletter. I am starting this one out a bit differently.
I love sharing stories and experiences, and how I see HR woven in most things like an invisible tapestry. This is another story that’s a bit more personal than usual.
Quick HR disclaimer: Everything is good. You’ll understand when you read on. Just want to reassure you before jumping in.
This past week has been overwhelming in a way that has rarely happened to me. It started with a handful of big surprises that were work-related. Things that stopped the work that was being done so they could be addressed. I was fortunate to be involved, but these were all out of the normal uncertainty you face in HR. Draining, stressful, emotional. All moving forward, but it was like multiple trains hitting at once.
Add in the normal commitments I have – Chairing a non-profit board, teaching a small group at my church, DisruptHR Cincinnati, and co-hosting an over-50s group with my wife for our monthly social get together (all of them wonderful).
Then, on Friday, I learned that my best friend is having significant surgery on Saturday. He checked in to inform me and ask for prayer. A 10-hour procedure. I adore him, and we are like family. On Saturday, my 87-year-old mother, who lives out of town, called to tell me she may have lost sight in her left eye. She called to inform and reassure me. Reassure me !! She was good and had support from friends and family. I felt like I was being pulled in 1,000 different emotional directions. Then, I get a text from our daughter asking if my wife and I can get to her in Indy that day. This wasn’t usual for her to reach out so urgently. We dropped everything and got in the car. When we connected, we listened to her, assessed options, and connected her with the resources she needed. My wife stayed with her, and I returned home with her dog. On Sunday night, I became ill, and it’s just shaking off now as I type.
I’m not sharing this as some truth or dare example of – Can you believe I’m facing all of this ?? No, life is full of ebbs and flows, joys and trials. I just hadn’t had everything hit like this in such a short period of time, so I did something I rarely do – I asked for help.
You see, I’ve tried to live my life as one who gives help whenever asked and with little hesitation. I’ve always known that I was wired to be available for others. I’m just not as open to asking for help myself. I’m embarrassed by that. It’s a mix of self-assurance, confidence, and the thought that I can weather any storm. That’s arrogant. That’s just me. However, I also think as HR pros we are constantly in roles where we lend help to others – but won’t ask for it ourselves. It’s not healthy or sustainable.
I know that my story and series of circumstances that have hit are not unique or greater than or lesser than what every person faces in some form or fashion daily. What I have learned, though, is that reaching out, being vulnerable, and candid only did this . . . Friends, co-workers, and family instantly stepped in to offer whatever was needed without question. Some help came in the form of hugs, tears, check-ins, notes of encouragement, and prayer. It was as overwhelming as the past week.
I always share about how we are better together (which is true !!) – with one addition. You have to be willing to ask for help when it’s needed because THAT brings us together. Don’t go through life alone. You don’t have to. Reach out. Make the ask.
