A Good Cry

I needed a break. A break from the constant barrage of news, regulations, statistics and a seemingly endless stream of bad news. It’s as if nothing else is happening in the world. Everyone is focused on COVID19 every. single. moment. It’s getting to be too much.

So, I went outside my house to sit on my porch and look at the green grass mixed with the spring flowers and the buds coming out on the trees. The birds were chirping and flying around and a chilly breeze blew across my face. Then I cried. It was wonderful and cleansing.

The beauty of viewing my front yard and escaping the madness that is trying to consume our every thought and conversation was just what I needed. The tears were a bonus. You see, I’m a very emotional person and always have been. I don’t hide it either. Whenever I was watching a television show with my kids and a heartfelt story came on, they’d stop watching the show and say, “Look, there he goes again.” It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. If it touches my heart, then I will cry.

The level of stress, anxiety and fear we are experiencing personally is unprecendented. Most people have not lived through a situation affecting the entire globe at one time. We should take note because there have always been challenges and daunting circumstances which occur daily. It’s getting our attention now because it is potentially affecting us. It’s a great reminder of why we should ALWAYS be others focused !!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve shed quite a few tears. There hasn’t been a particular reason or negative encounter. I just was about to pop with the swirl of emotions that only seem to escalate and manifest themself during every second of the day. I’ve found myself to be restless when I try to sleep which rarely happened in the past. I may have had a handful of times where I was anxious or anticipating what may occur the next day, but those were exceptions.

During this trying time, we need to take note that we’re not the only ones experiencing these heightened emotions. Everyone is. Everyone. We need to come to terms that expressing ourselves is normal and “allowed.” We grandly state that we want our employees to bring 100% of who they are to the workplace (except for their humanity and their emotions.) Sound harsh? It’s true. We want people to “tone it down” and be about their work, and their work alone.

Well, just like we didn’t anticipate forced telework, we’re now experiencing the full tidal wave of emotions that are always present in people. The only difference is that the daunting environment we’re all facing is lowering the walls so that these emotions can come out. I think it’s great and overdue. You can’t turn off emotions because we’re . . . . human. We were created and built filled with a full range of emotions. They bring us joy, show our anger or concern and allow us to share our fear, sadness and empathy.

HR it’s time we embrace the reality of emtions in ourselves and in our people. In my opinion, we can’t be effective business leaders when we try to supress the natural humanity brimming inside us. Trust me, my boss has often said, “Now, I know you’re going to cry about this . . .,” but he embraces who I am. It’s not seen as a fault or a weekness. It also doesn’t diminish my effectiveness to perform, make decisions or be rational. It does verify my humanity.

I know that practicing HR during this crisis is something none of us were prepared for. How could we be? However, we can choose how to face this. You have to uncork your emotions is a safe way. If you don’t you’ll take it out on others around you, or you’ll seek behaviors that may not be healthy for you either.

We can’t take care of others unless we take care of ourselves.

So, when you start to well up and you feel the first tears puddle up at the corner of your eyes – have a good cry. You’ll be glad you did !!

Moved to Tears

The holidays seem to raise the level of emotions everywhere you go. My wife has the Hallmark Channel on seemingly 24/7 to take in every Christmas movie she can. I peek in every once in awhile as well. It’s great to watch a story with a positive ending !! The mad rush of people gathering gifts that they feel compelled to give to others that may/may not need them. People are more generous during this season and do more to volunteer their time and resources to worthwhile causes.

There also heightened levels of stress, depression and a myriad of feelings when it comes to family gatherings, times of  worship and the inevitable holiday parties at work. All of those make me even more sensitive to my surroundings. You see, I’m emotional all of the time. I know. I know. Everyone is emotional all of the time. However, I am moved at the slightest movement of emotions all around me.

It may sound a little odd, but I am swallowed by the emotions of others. It isn’t just media that I watch. It’s everything. I can be moved to tears by a conversation that happens in my office that wasn’t expected in the least. I always have a ready box of tissue for those who visit me, and for me as well. I realize that there are many folks who view this as a weakness both personally and professionally. There are blogs written about keeping our emotions in check all the time. We are scolded and told to keep those pesky feelings to ourselves. We are to gather for “work” for goodness sake !!

Can’t do it. Won’t do it. It’s difficult to sense the ups and downs of those that work with me and not be affected myself. I’ve shed tears when having conversations with my staff, my boss, executives, volunteer leaders, pizza cooks and many more. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t weep daily. I just make sure to stay open and willing to engage people based on how they’re feeling.

I believe it’s far more valuable to be vulnerable than it is to be jaded.

There are risks in being someone who is moved to tears. There are those who will work with you who will be vocal and may even scoff or deride you. I don’t agree with pitting people against each other ever. It’s detrimental to a company’s culture and it’s leadership. I believe that people should be genuine. Period.

I feel that employees are looking for an HR function that understands the emotions they experience. They aren’t hoping for a system, process or policy. It’s so much more simple than what many consider “go to” methods to practice HR. People want to be heard, acknowledged and understood. That means getting emotional.

I want to encourage you to stop bottling in all that is going on when the feelings and emotions of others come at you. It’s not healthy, and it will assuredly lead to burnout, judgement of others and bitterness. None of those things will allow you to be an effective human resources practitioner.

My kids often poke fun because I’ll get misty at human interest stories at the end of a newscast, a SC Featured story on ESPN, or an episode of This is Us. I will even hear a piece of music and my eyes will well up. I’m good with that. You see, I don’t view being moved to tears as something that makes me a lesser person. I do it because I strive to see the beauty in others. I hope you will too.

(Here’s an example that gets me every time. It is just beautiful !! Take a few minutes out of your day to enjoy Freddie Mercury from Queen and acclaimed soprano Monserrat CabellĂ©. Yep, shed a tear when I posted it.)