Because I Want To . . .

This past weekend, I broke away from the normal hectic pace of life I find myself in to attend a retreat. It was a faith-based time away, and I was truly looking forward to it. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I wasn’t apprehensive in the least. We had no advanced agendas or topics. The only known fact we had was the time to arrive at the campground and check in. I was cool with that.

It was just what I needed personally. Time away. Time to reflect. Time to learn.

You see, I’m on the downhill side of my career. It’s something that comes to mind more with each passing week of the year. Please note that I don’t plan to have an abrupt stop to what I do, but I do plan to make a shift in a few years. I’m geeked about the time leading up to that transition, and also anticipating what could possibly be next. Just like the retreat, I have no advance information. For some, that could be overwhelming or daunting. I’ve never been a person who’s had to have everything lined out for me. I’m very comfortable stepping into the unknown and then seeing what will happen.

During this latter stage of my career, I was reminded by the retreat that I still have so much to learn. Not kidding. When you look at all of the possible information that exists, and the experiences I could have, I’ve barely scratched the surface after 62 years of wandering on this planet.

I love learning !! I always have. Finding new subjects and perspectives intrigues me. I try to be well-versed and expand my horizons. I’ll read about people whose thoughts and approaches to life run counter to what I believe. I feel it’s important to have an understanding of where people are coming from instead of making assumptions. I am hopeful that I’ll be someone who chooses to learn for the remainder of my life. I don’t see any reason to stop.

How about you ?? Are you someone who wants to constantly learn, or are you someone who has settled into a pattern where you’re comfortable? You have enough knowledge to get through your day. There’s little to no desire to stretch again. You find yourself worn out. Why in the world would you want to take on more ??

I think it comes down to a mindset. I don’t “have” to learn. I “want” to learn !! It’s a simple distinction that’s very powerful.

Too many people go through life reluctantly. They want little risk, little variability, and little change. Stability is valued far more than uncertainty. There’s no urge to learn more because they’ve hit a level of feeling they can perform with what they’ve already gathered over time.

I think that’s a miss. You see, I am a mix of someone who is very content in who I am and what I know, and who still has a burning desire to learn about what’s next, what’s new, and what’s possible. I find life and people to be truly fascinating !! There is so much that can be explored. There’s still so much to discover. I don’t want my life to be limited if it doesn’t have to be.

This week, I’d encourage you to pause and look around. Do you see some learning opportunities you could step into? Are there people you could meet and have a rich conversation with? Learn because you want to. It makes each day an adventure.

A Snow Day Reminder

My wife and I were hunkered down this weekend, anticipating the predicted winter storm. We were told that we’d get over a foot of snow. Now, living in Greater Cincinnati for the majority of my life, I have become skeptical of weather reports like this. In fact, several of the meteorologists slyly joked that we’d all be in our homes, wondering if the massive amount of snow would truly arrive.

Well, it did !! It started very slowly and then built up overnight while we were asleep. Sunday morning revealed a deep blanket of snow everywhere. That wasn’t even the end of the weather adventure. It continues to snow and accumulate as we saw more and more objects disappear under the encompassing white covering. Thankfully, we were safe, warm, and kept our power throughout the storm.

This weather was the talk of everyone around here on social media. Church services were canceled, stores and restaurants closed early, and we were sure all of the surrounding schools would be closed on Monday. This story isn’t unique. This particular storm reached across the majority of the U.S. with frigid temperatures, ice in many forms, and challenging circumstances.

The snowstorm forced me to slow down and reflect. Something I don’t do nearly enough. I was struck by the fact that while I was stuck in my house for a period of time, there were many who continued to work. People who, a mere six years ago, were considered “essential.” The road crews, public workers, hotel staff, hospital employees, and police and fire crews. That doesn’t even cover all of the folks who remain the backbone and foundation of the work being done all the time.

Once the pandemic receded into some form of normality, we quickly slipped back into a mindset of a work environment that is predominantly focused on professional-level office jobs. This is backwards and upside down. With 80% of the workforce occupying non-office roles, the focus is misplaced.

Honestly, wouldn’t it be better if every role, job, industry, and occupation were always considered essential ?? Why do we continue to only value people in certain roles when an emergency occurs? We’ve become so narrowly focused as a society. The only things that get our focus are those that affect us personally. We don’t take the time to raise our heads from the daily grind we find ourselves in to acknowledge or recognize the contributions of the many people around us. We still have the expectation of “getting things done” far more than valuing the talent and effort everyone brings daily in their given occupation.

No more. I want to be a person who happens to work in HR who is grateful and benefits from the work of those who don’t hold office positions. We all should have this mindset !! Let’s do what we can to turn the tide so we don’t have to have the next catastrophe hit in order to see the people who make up our foundation. Value everyone. Make sure they are all essential !!

Because I Knew You

Do you have anyone you can think of who has left an imprint on you ?? More than one ??

It’s a question that has been on my mind lately because we live in a world and at a time where people seem to focus primarily on themselves. The sentiment that you must look out for yourself first is prominent both personally and professionally. There are countless books who encourage and emphasize a self-focused approach to every aspect of life. It’s daunting to dare to think or act differently.

However, I strongly feel that we need to become less self-focused in order to truly affect change and foster sustainable leadership and relationships. It is important to be self-aware and self-assured. I find that if you are, then you’ll see that you’re “good” most of the time, and can focus on others more naturally and easily.

This weekend, after a great time with my extended family for the Thanksgiving holiday, my wife and I took my mom out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. We had been driving for over five hours and didn’t feel like cooking a meal. The restaurant is less than a mile from our house, and it’s a fave landing place for us. When our server approached the table, I could tell she had a spark in her eye. When she asked if we had made our choices, I attempted to order in Spanish. Mind you, I don’t speak Spanish.

She giggled and responded to me in Spanish. I pulled out my phone and looked up Google Translate because I planned to converse with her in Spanish for the rest of the night. I asked for a refill of my Diet Pepsi, and she quipped, “Mas bebida.” I typed “Mas vevida?” and she grabbed my phone to correct me. “More drink. Mas bebida.” We both laughed, and I saw her go speak to her co-workers while pointing back at our table.

There were more interactions we had, and when it was time to leave, I said, “¿Me puede dar la cuenta por favor?” She replied, “Si.” I laughed and told her that was too easy. We talked at our table for another ten minutes, and then left to pay. As we hit the door, our server waved and exclaimed, “Adiós, amigos !!” She had made our night out spectacular.

Earlier in the week, our family took time to go see Wicked for Good in the theater. It was an incredible sequel. The final song includes the compelling lyric, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” As I was crying (because that’s what I do), the lyric touched me. I was sitting in the aisle with my mother, wife, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and his wife. Each one of them has changed my life for good in one way or another.

The more I think about it, I can think of how many, many people have changed my life for the better. In fact, most of them have. I feel that if you view each encounter with others as having value, you’ll become more and more others-focused. Then, you’ll have a memorable encounter with a server at a restaurant.

This week, let’s all agree to be more cognizant that we are people who are known by others, and that can lead to change that is good.

Peeled Away !!

One of the best aspects of Fall is that the weather breaks. It is cooler each day, and that makes it more inviting to do one of my favorite things – working out in my yard. Seriously. I love getting outside and getting projects done. The sun is no longer beating down on you, and this makes it easier to accomplish things.

This Saturday, after a full breakfast to prep for the flurry of activity, I headed to the hardware store to get some supplies. We have a split rail fence that borders our backyard, and it needed some replacement pieces. I usually have to replace three to four rails a year. I also picked up eight bags of topsoil to use in repositioning and straightening out some landscape border walls.

When I got back home, I grabbed some tools, my Shokz headphones, found a Spotify playlist, and headed out to the yard. After getting the new rails in place and taking the old ones back to my brush pile, I changed course. I needed to get some bulbs in the ground so they’d take root and give us some daffodils in the spring. You always think projects will take mere minutes to complete, but they rarely do. Time seems to expand exponentially, doesn’t it ??

That was okay. I removed some overgrown Russian Sage plants and a conglomeration of gladiolas to make room for the new bulbs. Once all this was done, I hit a wall. You see, in my mind, I’m still this 20-year-old. I’m far from it !! I have the best intentions of working constantly throughout the day, but Father Time is winning. I wasn’t dissuaded. It just meant another course change.

For months, I had noticed our siding on our 2nd floor turn a green hue with moss and mildew. Earlier in the summer, our daughter was visiting for the weekend, and she helped me maneuver our extension ladder so I could use our pressure washer to remove the grime. We were able to address the front of the house, but didn’t have a chance to get to the west side. I decided that removing this green goo was my next project for the day. I asked my wife to come out to spot me, watch the ladder, and move the pressure washer if needed.

I lumbered up the ladder with the washer wand in hand. I took my position with assured footing. Then, I started peeling the green growth off the siding line by line and section by section. It was so pleasing to see the natural color of the siding reappear. As I was up on the roof, I turned around and saw our chimney. You could no longer tell it was constructed of beautiful red brick. The coating that encompassed it was dark green, black, and actual moss was growing, trying to swallow it.

I couldn’t allow the brick to remain covered in slime. I turned the pressure washer around and opened fire. It took several minutes to peel back the layers. It was worth it though !! Years of gunk had given it a completely different appearance. I imagined the brick giving a healthy sigh, knowing it was being restored to its initial state.

The buildup was so great that when it broke off the chimney’s surface, it flew in all directions. Much of it was cast backwards on me. I was covered from head to toe in bits of green and black. I ended up being the filthy one. I didn’t care. Getting the siding and chimney clean gave me pleasure.

This peeling back of layers of all that had grown reminded me of employees. Stick with me here. You see, most people at work take on bits of accumulation based on working in environments that primarily focus on the negative. They can’t shake it off. It just keeps piling on and leads to discoloration. People can still perform, but it’s hard to see the talented person who is still present below the layers and layers of buildup.

What’s even more concerning, we notice something’s not right while the piling on continues. It’s time that HR gets out their pressure washers !! We need to carefully and empathetically peel back the layers of negativity that encompass our people. We also need to set the stage that we’ll no longer foster or tolerate working from the position of “what’s wrong.” Once the surfaces of our people are clean, we need to come at work, problems, and projects from a constructive position. Figure out the opportunities and approaches to move things forward. Assess where things stand, and then unleash the inherent talent of our people.

You’re going to get sprayback when you do this. It will take patience to keep clearing everything away. You may get tired and even want to stop the effort. Press on. Your great people deserve it. Take the time to reveal their talents once again !!

Festival Culture !!

This weekend, Fall finally arrived. It is my favorite season by far !! The leaves change colors, the temperature drops, and you break out your favorite sweatshirt. You spend more time outside even though there’s less daylight. It’s the perfect season in every possible way.

Another aspect of the arrival of Fall is the abundance of festivals. It seems like people can take any singular item and launch a festival. Around here, there are multiple Oktoberfest celebrations, an Apple Festival, a Sauerkraut Festival, the simply named Fall Festivals, and Pumpkin Festivals. My wife told me about one such Pumpkin Festival in the city that adjoins ours. It’s appropriately called Operation Pumpkin, and I wanted to make sure to check it out. She did as well, but she needed to attend a baby shower of one of our cousins. She encouraged me to go anyway. I’m so glad I did !!

Our granddog, Wags, was visiting once again, and he loves to get out and about. He’s very comfortable being social. We made the 15-minute drive over to Hamilton, Ohio, and saw the Festival seemingly pop up out of the ground. We were diverted from the main street running through the city because the festival had taken over. Once we parked, I removed the ever-eager Wags from the backseat of my Equinox and quickly grabbed his leash because he was so excited to join the throng.

There’s no mistaking where the festival started because a display of MASSIVE pumpkins was at the event’s entry point. People were gathered around, all with their phones out, taking pictures. After that eye-catching spectacle, you fell in with the hundreds of people inching their way up and down the street. Booth after booth made up a boundary for everyone on either side. There were crafts, food trucks, beer, tschotskes, a glass blowing exhibit, and countless pumpkins. Artisans were cordoned off in the middle of the street as they did live carving on some of the behemoths.

Wags and I were enthralled with the sights, sounds, smells, and genuine camaraderie of everyone there. People from all walks of life filled every possible space. They ranged from infants to the elderly. You came across people whose arms were so filled with purchases that they could hardly control their finds. Wags was the center of attention, both young and old. I made sure to have him meet some people who were chair-bound, and just wanted to show and receive some affection.

Also, even though Hamilton is a fairly large city, I saw people I knew. That even included one of the teachers from our kids’ daycare who had known them as infants !! She gave me the biggest hug. I couldn’t believe she even recognized me, as the kids hadn’t seen her for 20+ years. It was a wonderful surprise. The others were folks from our church and some HR peers.

As we sat on a wall in front of the County Courthouse to take a break and eat some lunch, I was taken by something unique to festivals. Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone. There was a general sense of joy and engagement. People had a myriad of choices. The variety was available so that you weren’t stuck with just one activity, food choice, or purchase option. If something didn’t pique your interest, you could move to the next booth.

The conversations happening were vibrant, excited, and passionate. You’d hear about people’s experiences and recommendations of what they were seeing. It was as if they didn’t want anyone to miss what they saw. It was encouraging and welcoming. It made me wonder what would happen if our workplaces adopted a festival culture. I’m not suggesting we have booths, food trucks, and carnival rides (although that would be cool). However, if we were intentional about having activities that mattered and interesting conversations, I think we’d see a shift. Festivals are focused on people providing services. Workplaces are focused on work, work, deadlines, stuff, and work. People are an afterthought.

We’re overdue in turning the tide regarding our culture and our approach toward people. When we know we have people who want to be involved, contribute, and add value, why wouldn’t we do everything we could to have an inviting culture ?? People flock to festivals just because they’re happening. I think that is how we should look at having a colorful, energy-filled, and inviting culture in our workplaces.

A Handwritten Note . . .

A few weeks ago, I joined a Zoom call on a Sunday night. Before you jump to conclusions about work/life balance, give me a second to give you some context.

The call was set up to celebrate one of our peers, Mary Williams, who was retiring. It broke into my weekend, but there’s nothing wrong about that interruption at all. I was geeked when I got the invitation to spend some time to thank and encourage Mary for how she’s touched my life and the lives of countless others. Mary is a rare human who takes an immediate interest in YOU the moment you meet her. She’s had a fulfilling and successful career as an HR practitioner ending her time with the appropriate title – Head of People at her company.

Mary and I have been friends for years through volunteer leadership roles, social media connections, and especially as “fierce” rivals as to who was the #1 fan of the exceptional HR Social Hour podcast. (Mary was, and remains, #1 and I’m a reluctant #2 – although I’ll keep pressing.)

One of the many gifts Mary possesses is that her personal touch in the lives of others is expressed in a way that has become a lost art form. She sends you cards. Cards that are handwritten. Cards that bring a smile and also heartfelt tears at the same time. If you get a card from Mary, you can hear her voice as you read the thoughtful note she’s penned inside – just for you. Every person who was able to join the Zoom call shared how Mary’s cards and handwritten notes personally meant the world to them.

The card above is what she sent me, and I’m sure others, who were on the Zoom call that Sunday night. She was thanking me for taking the time to be there for her. She’s incredible and leads me to this thought . . .

Are you giving a personal touch in how you practice HR ?? If not, why not? I know we may have apprehension if we “put ourselves out there,” but I have never found that to be too big of a risk. People want to know they matter and that they’re cared for. It can’t be a thought. It deserves an action.

We have pulled back so far from making our profession human. I think this diminishes our impact and relevance. It honestly doesn’t matter how quickly you can process a spreadsheet or write another policy. That’s going to continue with ease. People are yearning for a personal touch from you. I feel that more and more, our ability to do this naturally will be the key as to whether companies should even have an internal HR function.

I’m not kidding. I feel we’re at a critical crossroads. If we don’t bring the human element to life in our companies on a daily basis, the majority of the rest of our jobs could be outsourced. It’s that essential. Stop being someone who is only technically astute. Give that same attention to being human yourself. Then, take time intentionally to connect with the people around you. Be a people-first HR leader all the time !!

This week – send a card, give someone a handwritten note, make an actual phone call, or take time to visit someone in person. Be the kind of human Mary is and see what a lasting impact you’ll make.

Dignity

This weekend, my wife and I stepped into a world that is far different than our own. Another couple invited us to join them and their adult son to venture to downtown Cincinnati with the Broken Bus Ministry. It was a day I won’t forget.

We started by learning what we were going to do and who we were going to serve. Michelle, the founder of the ministry, gave us a quick orientation to let us know what we would encounter and how to be prepared. The bus is packed from floor to ceiling with a mix of clothing, backpacks, shoes, snacks, supplies, and miscellaneous items that could be used as needed.

The description of the bus being broken is accurate !! It’s over 30 years old, and the engine sputters and coughs as you head down the road. The air conditioning strains to work, and the shocks and suspension are suspect. It’s perfection !! We headed to meet people who are experiencing homelessness. The goal of the day was to check in, provide a meal, put together a sack of snacks and drinks, and assess if the people we met needed other basic life items.

Michelle has been taking volunteers to serve this community every week for the past 14 years !! She is a volunteer as well. Many of the people she serves know her by name and wait eagerly for the bus to arrive. Who we met and what we saw was a simple reminder to be grateful for things we take for granted, such as shelter, food, and safety. After a few stops, we got our bearings and joined in the efforts to serve. My wife manned the biscuits and gravy station, and Trevor, the son of our friends, helped with clothing and snacks. Michelle, Amy and John, and I got out of the bus to talk with the people we saw. We invited them to come get a meal.

It was humbling to see people crawl from their makeshift “homes” to get a container of warm food and other items. The best part of our time serving was the conversations we had. I hadn’t expected this. My friend John noted that when we got back into the bus to move to the next stop, the most obvious and salient thing. “Steve, the number one thing all of these people want is to be treated with dignity.” I felt tears well up in my eyes and agreed.

It’s easy to judge, make statements, and ignore people. It is. The slightest difference causes us to decide the value of the people we encounter. It’s not fair. It’s not necessary. But, it’s 100% human.

During my day downtown, this smacked me firmly between the eyes. I gathered myself, and soon found myself sharing stories, telling jokes, laughing with, and listening to the stories of these folks who were facing insurmountable challenges to make it through the next day. We were in the midst of those who live on the fringe because of choices, life circumstances, drugs, alcohol, and mental illness. In no way did it diminish the fact that they deserved to be treated with grace, care, and respect. It’s not something they regularly receive from the majority of people who move around them.

What would our world look like if we treated each other consistently with dignity? How would workplaces and cultures be shaped if we saw the best in everyone and what they had to offer? How would your day go if you took the time to acknowledge, greet, and encourage others regardless of their circumstances?

I know that my viewpoint was broadened this weekend, and I don’t want to return to a place that ever looks at someone as “less than” me. One of the people we met was so conversational, and he asked if he could share a word with us. We all eagerly said that we’d love to hear what he had to say.

“To quote the great band Cinderella (an epic 80s Heavy Metal Hairband), ‘You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.’ I had everything. A home, a job, loving parents, and more. Never take it for granted. Tell the people in your life you love them. Don’t just show them, tell them. I had those things.”

His wisdom will stay with me for the rest of my life. I won’t look past people again. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Everyone. I hope you’ll join me. Together, this simple act could reshape the world.

Borders

This past weekend brought a welcome break in our weather. The summer was sweltering, which made it challenging to do much work outside. Since we had some fall-like weather, I decided to get out in the yard and finish a project that I had started over a year earlier.

Our daughter had something unique piled up in her garage. The back left corner of it was filled with landscape pavers. The stack was giant not only because they were a foot wide each, they also rose four feet above the floor. She was barely able to get her car in the garage without getting too close to the sprawling mass. The person who had owned the house two owners before her had used them all over the yard. Now they were just sitting there gathering spiderwebs and grime.

I asked her if I could take them to our house and use them to edge our beds. She thought that would be a great use of them, and told me she’d bring a load back home the next time she visited. When she came a few weeks later, I was concerned because the weight of the pavers really showed in the back of her SUV. Her wheels were struggling because she tried to bring so many. The repurposing of the pavers was wonderful. We had wanted to give the beds in the back and right side of our house more definition.

We used all of the pavers she brought in the first trip quickly. We only had enough to do the bed in the backyard that bordered our back patio. We thought we would have had more than enough to finish everything. I suggested we measure the next bed, and told her that I’d drive up to get the next load because my car was older. With everyone’s schedule in our two families, more time passed before I could get more pavers. I stacked them on my front patio to be used for the side yard.

The seasons changed, and I couldn’t get out to create the border I had wanted to finish quickly. That brings us back to this weekend. With a gap in time and nothing on my schedule, it was overdue to finish the landscape border. It took all afternoon, but it was worth it !! I had to work the edge to make sure the grass was back far enough to set the pavers in place. I added topsoil under each paver to make sure they would be level as I laid them end to end. Having a dedicated space for our flowers and shrubs to thrive was just what I was hoping for.

Borders remind me of how we should look at the roles and responsibilities we have for employees within our companies. I believe in this approach versus the traditional job descriptions we’ve used for decades. Most job descriptions are nothing more than a list of tasks we develop to justify the jobs people fill. They rarely describe what and how people truly do their daily work.

Writing something that provides people with parameters for them to work is essential. If people have enough room to grow, develop, and perform, then they’ll be able to thrive, just like our plants. Isn’t that better? If people had the latitude to stretch, use their strengths, and be creative in a broader system and environment, think how much better our companies would be.

This week, take a lesson from my landscaping adventure. Get rid of the roots and uneven ground your people have been given with lists of tasks only meant to confine. Instead, level things out and give them a border that allows them to be the talented people they’ve always been !!

Wandering . . .

Have you ever hit a dry patch at work? In life?

It just seems that no matter what you do, you keep wandering with little hope of an end in sight. As you feel this happening, you buckle down and work even harder, convincing yourself you can muster the fortitude to push through. What you encounter is more sand, endless dunes on the horizon, and the sweltering sun pounding down on you.

I’ve hit one of those patches. It’s not because I don’t have an overflowing plate of work in front of me. I’m also not alone. I’m fortunate to work with an incredible team both in HR and in all the areas of work throughout the company. I have books, blogs, endless resources, and now I can ask ChatGPT anything in the world. It hasn’t broken through.

People give sage advice about self-care, taking time off, surrounding myself with music, etc. There are countless ideas people are willing to share. They know the arid feeling, and there are many approaches that have worked . . . for them.

Please understand that I’m not sharing this for sympathy. It’s intended to help us all be aware that people can be wandering through their own deserts while working in the same general space as you are. They may not express it because they’re not sure that it’s safe to share, or they may fear how they’ll be viewed if they choose to be vulnerable. I see desert wandering happening all around me on a daily basis. There is no one reason or cause for people to find themselves in these dry patches. But they are very real.

The key is to be observant. Watch for signs of people feigning interest in others at work. See if someone who is normally engaged starts to pull away and spend more time on their own – more than they had in the past. See if conversations are short, curt, and elusive. It’s as if they’re getting through their day with the smallest interactions possible.

Don’t assume the worst, though. It’s far too easy for us to see some of these things going on with others and jump to conclusions about mental health, counseling, etc. Each of these should be on our radar. We need to check in on our people and get a take on how they’re doing. We have to get out of the pattern of only interacting when there is a task at hand or a behavior to address. We would be far more successful in being human ourselves by checking in on others just because. No agenda. No deadline to address. No “reason.” The reason is simple enough. They’re our people. That gives you all the latitude you need to connect.

Let me share what has worked for me . . .

I reach out to friends who are in HR who are outside my company. It’s rare that HR pros can have someone to turn to inside their company because part of the nature of their role is to be the person who steps alongside others. Others don’t pair up alongside HR.

I had two friends out of the blue reach out this week. One said, “You were on my heart today and I just wanted to check in on you.” Priceless. The other person reached out and shared a story of how something I had shared encouraged her. She just wanted me to know. Also priceless.

After I started to capture my thoughts for this post, I had a handful of other HR pros who reached out to just check in. I’m grateful that there are people who want to make themselves available to listen. It’s needed for everyone.

Deserts are going to come. You can’t avoid them. I want to encourage you to always have a circle of dear friends you can reach out to, so you can get through them. Also, be a person who’s willing to reach out and check in on others. A simple note or phone call may be just the thing they need to navigate through the sand to greener landscapes !!

Lifecycles

I’m sure we all experience ebbs and flows at work and in life in general. We want to hit those peak times and hold onto them fiercely before they slowly wane away. The dry times seem like endless deserts that have no horizon. On top of this, we can run through a range of emotions within moments. Laughter to frustration. Anxiety to assuredness. Loss to joy. Add to all of these shifts and movements a common factor . . . people.

You see, the same constant movements we experience personally are magnified when we add others to our day. You can’t avoid it. Rarely do your peak times match the people you encounter. Everyone is always at different points of a continuum. Within that flow, we are expected to perform and excel individually and as a whole. It’s astonishing that work gets completed and accomplished when you take into account the infinite number of nuances that each person brings to each work situation.

The reason for this descriptive framework is that we effortlessly weave in and out of these waves. Sure, we may crash into a beach or an unseen reef below the surface, but those rarely keep us from moving through whatever we’re hit with. Almost every time . . .

The past two weeks have been challenging at work because we have experienced six deaths that were connected to our company. Two were recent retirees who had decades of service with us. One was a franchise owner who built and sustained a community tradition. And, three were immediate family members of current team members.

I share this for context. One aspect of being an HR professional for my entire career is that I get the privilege of going to funerals, visitations, memorial services, and celebrations of life. It’s never easy. It is always emotional. I was able to attend three of these recently, and one will soon be scheduled. The other two occurred before I knew they happened.

This isn’t common to have so many people passing in this short span of time. It was eye-opening because it caused me to reflect on a few observations.

The first is this. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s life and to take the time to see them when they experience a loss. To be able to share a few kind words, shed some tears, and give hugs of support is priceless. To let them know you’re there for them genuinely is the most human HR can ever be.

Secondly, we know very little about each other’s lives. Even though we’re together for many hours each week, we have surface-level relationships with most people. This isn’t a right or wrong statement. It’s just a fact. If we asked people, they would tell you that the majority of people are positive connections. We may know where people live, how many people are in their immediate families, and a few of their personal interests. It is human enough for us to be okay.

Thirdly, we don’t know that many people. When I’ve attended the gatherings to remember these wonderful lives, the rooms are filled with countless people whom I’ve never met. We generally feel that we have a significant number of others in our lives. It’s true when you consider family members, neighbors, past classmates throughout the years, and professional contacts. Even with that, you enter a funeral home or a church, and the majority of people attending are unfamiliar to you.

All of these observations brought me to a new conclusion. I have always thought that HR has the opportunity to be involved in an employee’s lifecycle – the time they’re recruited until the time they leave your company. These time periods could be short or extremely long. The new conclusion I have is that the lifecycle doesn’t end when people leave. It also includes being there when people’s personal lifecycle ends.

It’s been a sobering reminder that even though I may not know everyone I work with at some deep level, I can still provide an approachable, warm, caring, and understanding human connection for them on a daily basis. None of us knows when the transition of life will come. Therefore, we can’t waste one moment getting swallowed by the various ups and downs of how we feel about each other.

I think it’s more important to let others know you are always in their corner. Remember that you can be someone who provides consistency and hopefully a regular positive impact in their lives. This week, slow down the waves of highs and lows. Take time to be intentional. Make a lasting difference in the lifecycles of everyone you encounter. In the end, they’ll impact yours as well !!