Calm in Chaos

When I was younger, I loved playing softball. I started when I was in college, playing on co-ed teams. Post graduation, I joined my cousin’s team for his law firm, a co-ed team we had with Young Friends of the Zoo (a volunteer group), and a men’s team through my church. I loved the pace, the camaraderie, and the chance to be a little “athletic.” Please note that I was never the best person on the team. Far from it. I could hold my own in the field and was a bit of a secret because I was one of the few left-handed players in each league.

I loved being on teams and competing. In some teams I was on, the focus was far more social than trying to take the league title. It was a nice balance to the men’s teams I was on that tended to be far more competitive. Quick reminder – these were softball teams. That didn’t seem to matter to some because their competitive juices would jump to the surface the moment the lineups were set. I enjoy winning. I don’t know who doesn’t. However, to win at all costs and with any level of behavior, not so much.

One other odd facet of playing on all of these various teams was that I usually became the team coach or manager. I was never the person who started the teams, but sometime during our season, I landed in the coaching chair. I loved it. This gave me more excitement than playing the games because I had the opportunity to check in on each member of our team to see how they were doing as humans. I’d go out of my way to ask about them, their families, their jobs, and keep track of how things were going. Making sure we were a unit was far more important to me than focusing on the few superstars we had on our roster.

One of the teams I was fortunate to lead for 20 years was always at the top of the standings. We were usually playing for the championship every year. We weren’t the most talented team ever. We were consistent and played together. I made sure we took time to encourage each other, whether we were batting or out in the field. I made sure we emphasized sportsmanship regardless of how the games progressed or the final outcome.

In most leagues, you find that you’re going to have one or two rivals. It just happens. Ironically, in our church league, we had such a rival. Our ragtag group of guys would take the field with the other team, who evidently had more financial backing than we did. Crisp uniforms, great equipment, etc. They were uber-competitive !! Trash talking, coarse language, and making fun of when our players performed at a standard less than they thought should be as elite softball players.

One time, as we were playing each other for the league championship, the tension was building each inning. My players were getting very frustrated with the tone and approach of our rivals. You could feel it was about to boil over and explode when I called a time-out. Instead of pulling our team together to rally them to stay calm and continue playing, I walked out to the center of the field. This was not how these were supposed to go.

I stood there and addressed our rivals and our team. I explained that there was no reason for this level of anger, frustration, and poor behavior. We were playing for our churches. It didn’t reflect who we should be, and I stated that if it continued, I was going to have us forfeit. We weren’t going to be a part of this. By the way, we were winning at this point.

A silence came over the entire field. The umpire came out to me and said, “I got this.” He called the captains of both teams together, and we had a reset. The game continued and was far more enjoyable. In the end . . . we lost. However, we kept calm in the midst of a very tense situation. As we shook hands after the game, the guys from the other team apologized, and we made peace.

Now, I understand that tensions rising during a church softball game isn’t “chaos.” Most people who consider things chaotic aren’t truly, but they are for them. We all encounter times in our lives where chaos erupts. The question is, who will lead people through what they are facing? There are far too many people who look to the loudest, most charismatic voice in the room. They may be loud, but that doesn’t automatically translate into leadership.

There’s also a difference in asking people to just calm down. That’s not helping either. We need to be leaders who remain calm ourselves. Take time to listen, assess, and then step in. By being the one who keeps calm during times of chaos, you’ll find people identify you as a leader. One that they can follow confidently.

Today, chaos seems to be happening everywhere. It gets more attention than those who choose to be calm. Stay strong. Be calm. Step in. Lead.

A Snow Day Reminder

My wife and I were hunkered down this weekend, anticipating the predicted winter storm. We were told that we’d get over a foot of snow. Now, living in Greater Cincinnati for the majority of my life, I have become skeptical of weather reports like this. In fact, several of the meteorologists slyly joked that we’d all be in our homes, wondering if the massive amount of snow would truly arrive.

Well, it did !! It started very slowly and then built up overnight while we were asleep. Sunday morning revealed a deep blanket of snow everywhere. That wasn’t even the end of the weather adventure. It continues to snow and accumulate as we saw more and more objects disappear under the encompassing white covering. Thankfully, we were safe, warm, and kept our power throughout the storm.

This weather was the talk of everyone around here on social media. Church services were canceled, stores and restaurants closed early, and we were sure all of the surrounding schools would be closed on Monday. This story isn’t unique. This particular storm reached across the majority of the U.S. with frigid temperatures, ice in many forms, and challenging circumstances.

The snowstorm forced me to slow down and reflect. Something I don’t do nearly enough. I was struck by the fact that while I was stuck in my house for a period of time, there were many who continued to work. People who, a mere six years ago, were considered “essential.” The road crews, public workers, hotel staff, hospital employees, and police and fire crews. That doesn’t even cover all of the folks who remain the backbone and foundation of the work being done all the time.

Once the pandemic receded into some form of normality, we quickly slipped back into a mindset of a work environment that is predominantly focused on professional-level office jobs. This is backwards and upside down. With 80% of the workforce occupying non-office roles, the focus is misplaced.

Honestly, wouldn’t it be better if every role, job, industry, and occupation were always considered essential ?? Why do we continue to only value people in certain roles when an emergency occurs? We’ve become so narrowly focused as a society. The only things that get our focus are those that affect us personally. We don’t take the time to raise our heads from the daily grind we find ourselves in to acknowledge or recognize the contributions of the many people around us. We still have the expectation of “getting things done” far more than valuing the talent and effort everyone brings daily in their given occupation.

No more. I want to be a person who happens to work in HR who is grateful and benefits from the work of those who don’t hold office positions. We all should have this mindset !! Let’s do what we can to turn the tide so we don’t have to have the next catastrophe hit in order to see the people who make up our foundation. Value everyone. Make sure they are all essential !!

Your Legacy . . .

When I look over my life and career, I am humbled by the number of people I’ve been fortunate to meet. Some people you meet for mere moments. Others you have as part of your life for years. I tend to lose sight of this too often due to the constant hustle and bustle swirling around us. That shouldn’t happen. I don’t believe in chance encounters or fate. I believe the people who come in and out of our lives happen on purpose.

I’m feeling reflective because of some news I received in mid-December. I wanted to share my thoughts about this wonderful person at the time, but I needed to wait until her family made the news public themselves.

My dear friend, Sandy Manjura, passed away in mid-December. She and I are the same age, and it crushed me when I heard the news. Sandy and I met as volunteer leaders for our SHRM chapters. She lived in the Akron area, and I was in Cincinnati. The moment we met, our friendship started. She exuded genuine interest and energy whenever she met anyone. Fortunately, we connected and volunteered together for years through the Ohio State Council and the Ohio State SHRM Conference committee. When she was active in the Akron chapter, she invited me to speak to the chapter often. While there, she introduced me to tons of other great people who also became dear friends. I met her partner, Scott, as well as her wonderful black lab – Hoagy. Whenever I’d visit, we’d make time to catch up and talk about life, music, and changing the world of HR.

I cherished her friendship. As our volunteer roles changed and came to an end, we didn’t get to see each other as often. We’d go to State Conferences and pick up right where we had left off before. Sandy was a rocker !! She loved all forms of music and would listen to Iron Maiden while jogging. She was an avid golfer and lived life to the fullest. The world is a little less bright with her passing.

One of my favorite memories was when I was chair of the Ohio SHRM State Conference with the theme “HR Rocks !!” I had a surprise to open the conference and needed someone to help me get ready. The only two people I let in on my secret were my best friend and roomie, Fred, and Sandy. I was planning to dress up as AC/DC legendary guitarist, Angus Young, to take the stage, but I needed help getting all of my costume ready. Sandy was all in and helped me don his famous schoolboy attire. She kept lookout for me, and she whisked me backstage to get ready to bring down the house. Her words for me were, “This is perfection. Get out there and set the stage !!” We both wept a bit because it really was perfection.

I share her story for a couple of reasons. First, everyone should know my friend. If you had known Sandy, I know your life would have been impacted positively just as mine was. We should always share good stories about the great people in our lives while they live and celebrate them when they pass. Secondly, we need to know that we live out the Maya Angelou quote listed above, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

We can’t keep getting bogged down by the things around us that seem wrong. We can’t keep being distracted by those people in our lives who do all they can to drain our souls. The vast majority of humans on this planet are amazing once you choose to let them into your lives on purpose. They deserve our time and attention far more than those who try to tear others down.

I don’t want any person who passes through my life to be overlooked, taken for granted, or brushed off. I don’t know how long I’ll be on this planet, and neither do any of us. Therefore, it matters to give others my time willingly and without expectation. You never know. You may be THE person that someone needs to encounter just at the right time. You don’t want to miss that.

Sandy touched my life and the lives of many others. I will hold her in my heart and cherish her friendship and legacy. She rocked, and I was fortunate to have had her in my life. When I hear that next heavy chord emanate from a speaker, the first person I will think of is Sandy !!

Be a People Collector

The weather on Saturday was atrocious. The kind of weather where you don’t want to leave your house. You’d rather snuggle under a blanket and watch a movie or two. My wife and I had to put the pull of warmth and comfort aside to attend an event involving my extended family. It would take more effort because it involved a drive of over two hours. When I opened the garage door to get to my car, the wind caught my attention immediately. There were sheets of rain, making it even more blustery and miserable.

We were undaunted. We warmed up the car, I hung a sports coat up in the back seat, and we started our trip. After putting the address in the car’s GPS, we took to the road. I stopped to get a piping hot cup of Dunkin’ coffee to ensure I’d stay awake throughout the entire trip. The visibility was bleak. It was hard to see the road through the rain, and the road mist kicked up by the endless stream of semi trucks that flew past us on the highway.

We were travelling to a very small town in the center of the State – Thurston, Ohio. Neither of us had even been to this burg, but we were eager to get there. The road seemed to stretch endlessly with little to visually break up the miles. You felt like you were on a treadmill that kept spinning but never advanced. We made one pit stop to stretch our legs before venturing on. The entire trip to Thurston was uneventful, and we were grateful for that. We found that this little crossroads of a town was twenty-five minutes from any major highway.

We had to meander several miles of country roads until we came to the Thurston United Methodist Church. It was a very tiny church with an even smaller parking lot. There were cars taking up every possible space because everyone had come to celebrate the life of a family member who had passed. He was the father of my cousin. He’s technically a cousin-in-law. His wife and I are first cousins. My immediate family and the Thompsons are incredibly close. Not only are we related, but our kids grew up together. I babysat their four kids before Debbie and I had our own two kids. We wouldn’t miss this day.

The church was packed !! There wasn’t one open seat, and some people were standing in the back of the country church sanctuary. The service was traditional and filled with hymns I had sung throughout my youth. Ken “Fuzz” Thompson had lived a full life of 87 years on this planet. His daughter, Robin, and son (my cousin), Ken, shared words of remembrance. It was perfect.

A common thread that marked Ken’s life was that he was someone who instantly connected with other people. He would go out of his way to get to know you. He had an inviting demeanor, a quick wit, and was an attentive listener. You never felt like he was focused on himself. He was focused on you. During the service, he was described as a “people collector.” It was as if he were a magnet that attracted others while being humble and unassuming.

The packed church was evidence of this life well lived. When I paused to look around the room, I noticed Ken had passed on the art of collecting others to his son, who in turn had married a people collector. In fact, that describes the majority of people in my extended family. I have assumed this was a regular practice of people, but I know that it isn’t.

You see, the art of connecting with others isn’t to be self-serving or self-promoting. It’s an opportunity to make sure that people are seen, valued, heard, and encouraged. You invest your time and attention in them so they shine themselves. In fact, while Ken was nearing the end of his journey, he shared that the kids didn’t have to have a ceremony – he was fine. Then, he paused, thought about it, and said, “But you guys probably need one. You can do it if you’d like.”

The turnout of how his life impacted others in subtle, meaningful ways was evident. My hope is that you have a people collector in your life if you’re not one yourself. Life is more full, meaningful, and worthwhile when you do.

A Touch of Gray

The calendar has turned another page. Usually, when that happens, people express a series of resolutions they genuinely want to hold to. They rarely do. That doesn’t stop people from making them, though. A New Year always gives people a chance for a reset. A chance to pause, reflect, and decide what they’d like the next twelve months to be.

Once the year begins anew, I also turn another year older. My birthday is on January 3rd, and this year took a new turn. It’s wonderful when your friends and family send you birthday wishes. I’m humbled every time I receive them. My 87-year-old Mom called me early in the morning to sign “Happy Birthday” to me. It’s a tradition she and my dad, when he was alive, have done every year since I left the house 40 years ago. It warms my heart every time, and I look forward to hearing her sing it.

It’s intriguing to me when people ask what your plans are for your birthday. The intent is positive, and people want you to enjoy your day. Having a birthday so close to the holiday season makes it harder to plan something massive. And, honestly, I’m grateful to cross the age line once more as the most significant accomplishment. I didn’t have anything “planned,” but I did hope to have a great day.

My wife and I decided to really live on the edge and get our haircuts together. I know – truly adventurous !! We enjoy seeing Heather at her salon. We’ve known her for 29 years, so it’s like visiting family. Debbie went first because she needs more time than I do. When I took my place in the chair, I donned the black cape over my clothes and placed my glasses on the counter. Heather is always good for a rich conversation. We talk about countless topics, give updates about our kids, and make sure to laugh a lot.

As my hair became shorter once again, I looked down at the cape, and it was glistening !! You see, I’ve crossed over to the time in my life when my hair has grayed. This doesn’t bother me, and I don’t feel my age. My appearance is supposed to change. Now that I’m 62, I’d be surprised if I didn’t have a full head of gray locks.

Along with my shifting hair color, my body reminds me daily that time is moving forward. There’s more stiffness and the unexpected appearance of aches and pains throughout my body. Thankfully, my mind is sharp, and I don’t take it for granted. I don’t know if I ever thought about what it would be like if I reached this age, which is closer to my career ending than starting. I’ve never been concerned with whatever “age” is supposed to be.

Another year means an opportunity to remain curious. Another year is a chance to learn something new, meet people I’ve never met, encourage others to be their best, and take in as much life as possible. I’m not sure what will happen, and that doesn’t make me in the least bit anxious. I don’t have resolutions and never have. I believe in enjoying the present and being hopeful for the future, for whatever that may be. Please don’t mistake that for being naive or Utopian.

I’ve chosen (for most of my life) to be someone who sees the best in others and the situations I find myself in. Sure, there are challenges and times of disappointment. I will experience personal failures, and others will fail me. In the end, though, life is grand !! Now that I have more than a touch of gray, I want to do all I can to live each day to its fullest. I’m far from discouraged about aging another year; I’m fortunate.

How are you looking at this coming year? Are you seeing the best in yourself and in others? I know this may seem contrary to how most people view life, but trust me, it’s well worth it. I encourage you to move forward. Who knows? The best part of what’s to come could be lurking just over the horizon !!

To ease you into the future, here’s a tune that is an absolute fave of mine from an all-time legendary band. It just fits . . .

Looking Ahead !!

This weekend, my wife and I did one of our favorite activities by going to see a movie in a theater. We’re both big fans of movies, and there still isn’t an experience as grand as seeing a movie on the big screen. There just isn’t.

I had to do a bit of convincing to get her to see the feature I wanted to see, but she agreed to give it a go. We chose to see Song Sung Blue starring Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson. I was fully engrossed the moment Jackman started the film. The script was wonderful, and every member of the cast was perfect. There were several actors who had been very popular in the past who came back to the screen and crushed it. On top of the story, you laid in the incredible musical catalog of the legendary Neil Diamond.

For me, the movie was very emotional. I think I cried 6 or 7 times throughout the film. The story has giant highs and extreme lows. It’s very human and based on a couple who were featured in an award-winning documentary. They saw themselves as entertainers who wanted to help people forget their troubles for the few moments they saw their shows. Jackman played Mike Sardina, who fancied himself a Neil Diamond interpreter nicknamed Lightning, and Hudson played his talented wife, nicknamed Thunder.

To say this couple experienced “life” would be an understatement !! Much of their lives was fraught with tough choices, poverty, and a lack of what many would consider success. It didn’t squelch their passion or desire to constantly move forward. Their dream to perform never dimmed. Never. They didn’t know what lay ahead for them or their family members, but they kept looking ahead.

It was a magnificent movie, which I highly recommend not only because you’ll enjoy it, but also because it conveys a great message for where we are today as a society. We all wish we had a crystal ball that clearly revealed what would come next for us in our daily lives. We don’t, and it’s a good thing. Life is unpredictable and always will be.

The question is, “How will you react when the unexpected comes?”

We’re on the edge of beginning a New Year. Most of what you read, see, and hear is dripping with disdain, negativity, and divisiveness. “What’s wrong” is the lens that leads most people’s days, regardless of what they’re facing. That is discouraging and could lead to you getting mired down to the point of not moving at all. Even if you choose to be immobile, life continues to move around you.

I think we’d be better off as individuals and as a society if we learned from Lightning and Thunder by pushing forward by first coming together. They realized how much better they were as a duo to tackle what was in front of them than trying to gut things out on their own.

I’m excited about 2026, and I have no idea what will happen. I refuse to succumb to the antagonism and darkness that try to claw for my attention and emotions. I will do all I can to see the best in others, even if they fail me (because I’m sure to fail others myself). I will encourage others to thrive and be there to listen to how life is treating them. I will pursue my passions and make sure to reach out to connect with others any time I can. When something unexpected comes, I’ll pause, assess, and then move forward. That’s how I choose to look ahead !!

To give you just a tiny flavor of the film, here’s a deep cut Neil Diamond hit they played. Just phenomenal !!

Be Pliable !!

If you haven’t already figured this out, I’m a big kid in an older adult’s body. By the way, I’m very cool with that. I know I have peers who are far more concerned with their title and level in their company than I am. It’s never been a focus for me. And, may I add, I feel that a person’s actions and behavior are far more indicative of who a person is than any title resting on a business card.

I love to have fun every day. It doesn’t really matter if I’m at work, out in the community, at an HR conference/event, or at home. There’s always time to see the possibilities of what will bring people a smile or make them giggle.

I recently added a favorite toy to my menagerie at work – Play-Doh. I mean, how can you really overlook this wonderful substance? I remember playing with Play-Doh for hours upon hours when I was younger. My brother and I would make all types of abstract shapes and “sculptures” while mixing as many colors together as we could. It seemed like you could never come up with every possibility of creation with Play-Doh. It has a true infinite quality.

The reason for having a container of this magnificent matter on my desk is so that I have a reminder about the positive aspects of being pliable and moldable. I find that many people are very rigid. They live in an “either/or” world. There’s no gray seen or considered. There is one side or another. Period.

That’s a miss in my opinion. People are like Play-Doh. They can bend, squish, stretch, expand, or contract. They’re unpredictable, colorful, and not limited to a tight set of do’s and don’ts. No matter how much HR or organizations try to keep people fenced in, they will move in, around, above, or below the barriers we arbitrarily construct.

I think we should take a different approach. We should acknowledge that there’s more potential in being pliable and moldable as individuals and as a work culture. People need the ability to move and become new creations on a regular basis. It’s in our nature as humans. Always move. Always grow. Always take on new shapes.

Wouldn’t it be better to have leadership, culture, and a workplace that chose to be moldable instead of concrete? When you adopt this, you will rarely hear that tired old phrase, “Because we’ve always done it this way.” A pliable environment allows for far more solutions, perspectives, and opportunities than the traditional atmosphere people want to cling to. With all of the potential changes on the horizon for how work will be done, you can’t afford to be sedentary.

This week, buy a jar of Play-Doh. Put it on your desk. It will be a constant reminder for you to remain flexible personally, and it will reframe the possibilities of how you can bring out the best in others !!

Fun note . . .

I had shared this article originally in the weekly email newsletter I send out as part of my HR Net forum. At the end of this week, a friend dropped off an unexpected gift that he felt would accompany my new toy. Check this out !! A Play-Doh Pizza Kitchen (since I work for an amazing pizza company) So, freaking cool !!

One Scoop At A Time

This weekend, we had our second significant snowfall. I’m personally very geeked about this because I grew up where snow was a regular occurrence. People in Cincinnati state they love getting snow . . . until it happens. When it hits, you see chaos ensue. People are unsure how to drive, and everything grinds to a screeching halt. The TV meteorologists are in storm mode. They fill the airwaves with doom and gloom. You’re told you’re about to face the apocalypse, when it’s just a few inches of snow.

Growing up, my dad taught me the art of shoveling a driveway. He was meticulous. He had the expectation that when you were done, the entire surface would be as clean as possible. No straggling trails of snow remnants were allowed. My brother and I would often have to go back out to get those tiny trails of snow that come off the edges of your shovel because we weren’t really “done.” This left a giant imprint on us. There was merit to this, which was laced with a layer of undue pressure.

So, when the garage door creaked open this morning, I saw a blanket of white facing me. I turned on my Spotify playlist (Brit Pop Indie 90s in case you wanted to check it out), started my workout app on my watch, took a deep breath, laid down the blade of my snow shovel, and made my first scoop. We received five inches of snow, which is fairly significant for us. On top of the volume of snow spread out across our driveway, the final two feet was dense and massive because the township snowplow had deposited all of the snow from the road firmly at the apron of every house on the cul-de-sac.

I set out to tackle the task before me, feeling the frigid temperatures with every breath I took. Oh, did I mention that it was zero degrees when I started with a wind chill that made it even colder ?? Not complaining. Just setting the stage. Steadily and slowly, I made my way across and down the driveway. I broke it down by sections, making sure that each one was cleared completely (could hear my dad’s voice in my head). I was making great headway until I hit the gunk deposited across the apron.

My activity had gone from eagerly pushing the snow across the width of the surface to barely moving at all. The rest of the snow gave very little resistance to being moved. This mix was significantly different. The weight was tripled at least !! Therefore, you had to move it one scoop at a time. You couldn’t even toss it across to an edge. It had to be walked over and deposited.

There were a few moments of labored breathing, and I felt like walking away. I could drive over it. Why overexert myself? I knew this wasn’t a realistic option. I needed to make sure the driveway was cleared. So, I kept at it methodically. Bit by bit, the apron started to appear. In the end, it took me an hour to finish shoveling. I was ready to be done. Frozen fingers and face were getting the best of me. However, it was done.

As I dropped into a chair in my family room to recover, I thought about how my shoveling was a lot like a healthy approach to work. We see the expanse of a problem sprawling out before us, just like a snow-covered driveway. We have an urge to make large efforts to clear out the problem as quickly as we can. Expediency is the drive. It’s not feasible, but we convince ourselves that if we work hard enough, we can knock it out.

The reality is that the problem needs to be addressed in a measured way. Even though this takes more time, the result is better. As you start moving the light objects in your way, you make progress easily. When things get a bit more difficult, you pause, evaluate what’s needed, then make the next scoop. You may get a bit anxious and frustrated because the end of the project is in sight. Continuing to stay disciplined and measured is needed all the way until the end.

When you adopt this approach, you’ll see that the project has been cleared with no straggling trails. This week, step back and see how you’re approaching work. Be more measured. Make sure to take one scoop at a time.

Deflated

With Thanksgiving completed, it was time once again to decorate our house for Christmas and the holidays. I don’t know about you, but when Thanksgiving is the last Thursday of the last week of November, it feels like December is seven days long instead of being a full month. There seems to be undue pressure to get everything done all of a sudden.

On top of the perceived time crunch, winter has fully landed in Greater Cincinnati !! It is frigid. So, when I went to put up my outside inflatables community (Yes, I have several), along with a lighted tree that needed to be assembled, wrapping our porch poles in lights, and covering bushes in our front bed, I was shivering the entire time. I’m not complaining. I pushed through as best as I could, but I had to stop short. I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to accomplish because I couldn’t feel my hands. Eek !!!

I love putting up the community of inflatables. They’re all connected via an intricate system of intertwined extension cords and anchoring wires so they don’t float away. Once the timers hit the “Dusk” setting, they slowly inflate and cover the majority of our front flower bed. It brings me joy to see them spring to life. Each morning, as the timer moves to the “Dawn” setting, you see them fall slowly to the ground as they deflate. They no longer have the energy to be full, shining, and present.

Sound like our employees ??

Too many folks these days are deflated at work. Sure, they may be visible in the workplace or on some overly monitored screen, but that doesn’t mean they’re full of life, far from it. The question is – Do we even notice ?? Unfortunately, I don’t think we normally do unless a person’s behavior becomes so detached that you see it whenever you interact with them.

I’m continually astonished by how we spend so much time discussing work regarding deadlines, revenue pressures, and how we all have too many meetings. However, we don’t talk often enough about our employees unless we’re complaining about the few that seem to always be a challenge to work with. The majority of employees come to work daily and are treated like placeholders. This should not continue.

December, year-end, and the holidays can be a trying time for people for a variety of reasons. It’s easy to become deflated. We need to notice. To do that, our desk and our screens can’t be more important to us than the people we work (and live) with. We need to be the ones who are the energy source that brings them back to life. Once we do that, you’ll see that people will fulfill their calling and purpose.

We always take time to seek out all of the Christmas decorations and displays in our neighborhoods. In fact, we’re eager to see them !! Let’s do the same with our people because they are with us all the time, and not just seasonally.

Because I Knew You

Do you have anyone you can think of who has left an imprint on you ?? More than one ??

It’s a question that has been on my mind lately because we live in a world and at a time where people seem to focus primarily on themselves. The sentiment that you must look out for yourself first is prominent both personally and professionally. There are countless books who encourage and emphasize a self-focused approach to every aspect of life. It’s daunting to dare to think or act differently.

However, I strongly feel that we need to become less self-focused in order to truly affect change and foster sustainable leadership and relationships. It is important to be self-aware and self-assured. I find that if you are, then you’ll see that you’re “good” most of the time, and can focus on others more naturally and easily.

This weekend, after a great time with my extended family for the Thanksgiving holiday, my wife and I took my mom out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. We had been driving for over five hours and didn’t feel like cooking a meal. The restaurant is less than a mile from our house, and it’s a fave landing place for us. When our server approached the table, I could tell she had a spark in her eye. When she asked if we had made our choices, I attempted to order in Spanish. Mind you, I don’t speak Spanish.

She giggled and responded to me in Spanish. I pulled out my phone and looked up Google Translate because I planned to converse with her in Spanish for the rest of the night. I asked for a refill of my Diet Pepsi, and she quipped, “Mas bebida.” I typed “Mas vevida?” and she grabbed my phone to correct me. “More drink. Mas bebida.” We both laughed, and I saw her go speak to her co-workers while pointing back at our table.

There were more interactions we had, and when it was time to leave, I said, “¿Me puede dar la cuenta por favor?” She replied, “Si.” I laughed and told her that was too easy. We talked at our table for another ten minutes, and then left to pay. As we hit the door, our server waved and exclaimed, “Adiós, amigos !!” She had made our night out spectacular.

Earlier in the week, our family took time to go see Wicked for Good in the theater. It was an incredible sequel. The final song includes the compelling lyric, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” As I was crying (because that’s what I do), the lyric touched me. I was sitting in the aisle with my mother, wife, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and his wife. Each one of them has changed my life for good in one way or another.

The more I think about it, I can think of how many, many people have changed my life for the better. In fact, most of them have. I feel that if you view each encounter with others as having value, you’ll become more and more others-focused. Then, you’ll have a memorable encounter with a server at a restaurant.

This week, let’s all agree to be more cognizant that we are people who are known by others, and that can lead to change that is good.