Tag: culture

Deflated

With Thanksgiving completed, it was time once again to decorate our house for Christmas and the holidays. I don’t know about you, but when Thanksgiving is the last Thursday of the last week of November, it feels like December is seven days long instead of being a full month. There seems to be undue pressure to get everything done all of a sudden.

On top of the perceived time crunch, winter has fully landed in Greater Cincinnati !! It is frigid. So, when I went to put up my outside inflatables community (Yes, I have several), along with a lighted tree that needed to be assembled, wrapping our porch poles in lights, and covering bushes in our front bed, I was shivering the entire time. I’m not complaining. I pushed through as best as I could, but I had to stop short. I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to accomplish because I couldn’t feel my hands. Eek !!!

I love putting up the community of inflatables. They’re all connected via an intricate system of intertwined extension cords and anchoring wires so they don’t float away. Once the timers hit the “Dusk” setting, they slowly inflate and cover the majority of our front flower bed. It brings me joy to see them spring to life. Each morning, as the timer moves to the “Dawn” setting, you see them fall slowly to the ground as they deflate. They no longer have the energy to be full, shining, and present.

Sound like our employees ??

Too many folks these days are deflated at work. Sure, they may be visible in the workplace or on some overly monitored screen, but that doesn’t mean they’re full of life, far from it. The question is – Do we even notice ?? Unfortunately, I don’t think we normally do unless a person’s behavior becomes so detached that you see it whenever you interact with them.

I’m continually astonished by how we spend so much time discussing work regarding deadlines, revenue pressures, and how we all have too many meetings. However, we don’t talk often enough about our employees unless we’re complaining about the few that seem to always be a challenge to work with. The majority of employees come to work daily and are treated like placeholders. This should not continue.

December, year-end, and the holidays can be a trying time for people for a variety of reasons. It’s easy to become deflated. We need to notice. To do that, our desk and our screens can’t be more important to us than the people we work (and live) with. We need to be the ones who are the energy source that brings them back to life. Once we do that, you’ll see that people will fulfill their calling and purpose.

We always take time to seek out all of the Christmas decorations and displays in our neighborhoods. In fact, we’re eager to see them !! Let’s do the same with our people because they are with us all the time, and not just seasonally.

Because I Knew You

Do you have anyone you can think of who has left an imprint on you ?? More than one ??

It’s a question that has been on my mind lately because we live in a world and at a time where people seem to focus primarily on themselves. The sentiment that you must look out for yourself first is prominent both personally and professionally. There are countless books who encourage and emphasize a self-focused approach to every aspect of life. It’s daunting to dare to think or act differently.

However, I strongly feel that we need to become less self-focused in order to truly affect change and foster sustainable leadership and relationships. It is important to be self-aware and self-assured. I find that if you are, then you’ll see that you’re “good” most of the time, and can focus on others more naturally and easily.

This weekend, after a great time with my extended family for the Thanksgiving holiday, my wife and I took my mom out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. We had been driving for over five hours and didn’t feel like cooking a meal. The restaurant is less than a mile from our house, and it’s a fave landing place for us. When our server approached the table, I could tell she had a spark in her eye. When she asked if we had made our choices, I attempted to order in Spanish. Mind you, I don’t speak Spanish.

She giggled and responded to me in Spanish. I pulled out my phone and looked up Google Translate because I planned to converse with her in Spanish for the rest of the night. I asked for a refill of my Diet Pepsi, and she quipped, “Mas bebida.” I typed “Mas vevida?” and she grabbed my phone to correct me. “More drink. Mas bebida.” We both laughed, and I saw her go speak to her co-workers while pointing back at our table.

There were more interactions we had, and when it was time to leave, I said, “¿Me puede dar la cuenta por favor?” She replied, “Si.” I laughed and told her that was too easy. We talked at our table for another ten minutes, and then left to pay. As we hit the door, our server waved and exclaimed, “Adiós, amigos !!” She had made our night out spectacular.

Earlier in the week, our family took time to go see Wicked for Good in the theater. It was an incredible sequel. The final song includes the compelling lyric, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” As I was crying (because that’s what I do), the lyric touched me. I was sitting in the aisle with my mother, wife, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and his wife. Each one of them has changed my life for good in one way or another.

The more I think about it, I can think of how many, many people have changed my life for the better. In fact, most of them have. I feel that if you view each encounter with others as having value, you’ll become more and more others-focused. Then, you’ll have a memorable encounter with a server at a restaurant.

This week, let’s all agree to be more cognizant that we are people who are known by others, and that can lead to change that is good.

Remember to Play !!

Do you remember when you were a kid ?? I can remember pretty far back. My earliest solid memories were from when I was five years old and in kindergarten. It was my first experience with school, and it had the perfect mix of learning and play. Heck, even the lessons were laced with fun activities. Throw in daily recess, and you have sheer perfection. There was structure, but it never felt confining.

Fast forward fifty-six years to the present day. As a “mature” adult, you’re not expected to play anymore. Sure, it’s acceptable to be a fan of multiple sports teams. But, that’s the extent of what people feel still falls in the realm of adult behavior. If you participate in sports recreationally, you aren’t pressing the boundaries too much. Other adults will support your efforts while also bemoaning how their body can no longer perform like it used to.

Board games are also deemed okay if there is a family or neighborhood gathering. They can help pass the time if you also have enough to eat and drink. These games must be limited to short bursts of time because you don’t want people to slip into that younger state where they used to laugh and act more carefree. How awful would that be ??

It saddens me that the art of play has been replaced with the myth of being a responsible adult. When did “responsible” become defined as reserved, demure, and lifeless? Why did we get lulled into a state of stress, frustration, anger, and disappointment while calling that success? A telltale comment I received after giving a presentation at an HR conference helped prod me to respond. The person stated that my style was sophomoric. As a fellow senior HR practitioner, he didn’t know why I spent time using toys for my examples instead of concrete business practices. He was also confused as to why I spent the majority of the presentation focusing on people. He wanted to focus on business !! That was far more important. I venture to say, this person doesn’t play.

I play. Always have. Always will.

My wife Debbie and I co-host an over-50s group at our church. She does an amazing job organizing activities for each night, and I am the ringleader who makes things come to life. Whenever we meet, we incorporate play, arts & crafts, friendly competition, and storytelling. We get a huge turnout of people, and I’ve heard them share with others how much fun they had for a few hours. You see, they forgot how to play . . . but they still know how.

Recently, I also had an opportunity to speak to a class full of 5th graders on the importance of being good. I brought my props (toys), which caused them to squeal when I used them. I also challenged them to a fierce smiling contest where everyone had to hold their smiles with teeth bared and not laugh or giggle. It was spectacular !!

I play at work as well. I go out of my way to connect with as many team members as I can daily. I ask how they’re doing and respond in a radical fashion by staying to listen regardless of what they share. I also regale them with stories from my weekend or encounters with team members from other locations.

Here’s what I know . . .

People who play enjoy themselves more than those who don’t. Laughter is healthy for you and helps you retain information. Not taking yourself seriously reduces stress, frustration, and anger.

I’m sure there are many who feel this approach isn’t professional or befitting of someone who is a Chief People Officer. That’s cool. I’m good with it. I know the relationships I have bring the best out in others because I play.

This week, as we take a break to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, pause and reflect. Are you content or wound tightly? Are you consumed with worry, or are you eager to see what lies ahead? I could keep going, but I think you get the gist.

I hope your time with friends and family is meaningful, full, and memorable. Take time to be thankful and step out a bit to play. It could be a great start to a new set of habits and approach to life, personally and professionally !!

It Is Better to Give . . .

. . . to bless those who receive.

I know that’s not the exact quote, but I’d like you to hang with me for a few minutes to explain.

Next year, I will be starting my 40th year as an HR practitioner !! It is so hard to grasp this reality. My career started off with a flair, followed by a failure. I was so fortunate to begin my HR journey at a Fortune 100 company. They’ve been successful for almost 190 years. The challenge of my first role didn’t involve what I did; it was in regards to the culture. Now, you have to remember that when I started in HR, no one talked about company culture. No one. You were expected to go to work and accept things as they were. You would have never thought of questioning any aspect of a company’s culture. It was unheard of.

I learned the hard way that since I didn’t do well with conformity, I wasn’t long for this role. After 18 months, when I was presented with an opportunity to leave Cincinnati and move to a rural place and work in a manufacturing company, I chose to leave instead. Did I mention that I was young, arrogant, and narrow-minded at this time in my career ?? Did I also note that I didn’t have another job when I left my first HR job ??

I was sure that people would want to hire me right away because of my education and the experience I had just earned. I mean, it was an entire 18 months !! I was clueless . . . and unemployed. I jumped into the job search process right away. These were the days before the internet existed. I was unsuccessful. I had no nibbles or interviews. The time of my transition only expanded. It started to get pretty stark. I asked my parents for a loan so I could maintain my apartment and pay my bills. I took a part-time job with friends doing landscaping at minimum wage. And, my girlfriend at the time (who has now been my wife for 36 years), stood by my side and bought me groceries. I couldn’t afford even the basics.

To say this experience was humbling doesn’t adequately describe what I was going through. I never thought that I’d be in a place where I would lose everything and not be able to get out of it. I was so grateful for those who gave to help me. I’ve never taken it for granted since.

I was able to find another HR job after 13 months. 13 months. My view on life and work had forever been altered . . . for the better. I now appreciated that I had the ability to work. I was more mindful and thankful for those I worked with. I understood that life could change in a moment, regardless of who you were or what job you held.

Back to today . . .

People are feeling the need to be givers at this time. The challenges in the economy and the recent government shutdown have touched people’s hearts. Giving has grown dramatically. People are willing to give what they can to help others in need. It’s just like when I was in need myself.

Yesterday, I was participating at a Food Drive for a local mission. I’m involved with them as a Board Member, and my wife volunteers there. I only mention this because of an encounter I had at the event. I saw a familiar face as we were talking to people coming to Kroger. He said, “Hey, I see you at the door greeting me and my wife at church !!” I said, “I’m Steve, and you are?” He replied, “I’m Doug. My wife Joyce and I have been coming for a few months. I’d like to do something a little more than this, but I won’t have everything purchased by the time you wrap up here today.”

“No problem,” I stated. “Just bring whatever you’d like to church tomorrow, and I’ll take it from there. I’ll be going to the Mission on Monday afternoon for a meeting, and I’d be glad to take your donation there.” Sunday came, and Doug met me at the door. “Can I put what we got in your car?” he asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll meet you in the back parking lot.” He pulled around, and my jaw hit the ground when I saw what he wanted to give me. The amount of food he and his wife had purchased filled the back of my car !! I thanked Doug profusely and mentioned that what they gave would bless those who would receive it.

This isn’t about how much you do or don’t give. I want to encourage you, though, to be someone who gives regularly. You pick where you want your giving to go. This isn’t only about material items either. We all can give our time as volunteers, people who can serve on boards, or people who can lend a hand to someone in need. I learned first hand about how other’s willingness to give helped me at the time I most needed it.

Your giving will do the same. Take a moment and see what you can do. Choose to move forward and not be idle. Whatever you can do will matter. It is better to give . . .

Slow Down

People are constantly in a hurry. Constantly. On top of that, people are rarely disconnected from a screen of some sort. (I know you’re using a screen to read this, but hang with me.)

This constant pressure to be moving no matter the cost is exhausting !! People are edgy and ready to snap at the drop of a misconceived phrase someone asks looking for clarification. The ironic thing about this incessant pace is that few object to it. We’ve convinced ourselves that it’s the norm. Even if you take a day off, you fill it immediately with as much activity as you possibly can. This concerns me for several reasons.

First of all, we’ve believed the lie that if we DON’T hurry, then something is sure to be forgotten, overlooked or incomplete. Also, we’ve taken on this hidden peer pressure (also a lie) that if we don’t hurry, someone else will and then they’ll get ahead of us. The third lie we tell ourselves is that if WE don’t do everything ourselves, then the end product is certain to be shoddy. No one does work as good as we do !!

Ugh. It’s killing us. We need to all SLOW DOWN.

My favorite season is Fall. In the Midwest, the temperature drops, and our trees show their true colors. This year in Cincinnati, Ohio, we went from having a surplus of rain to a full-on drought. The trees stayed green. We were getting concerned because we thought this meant that one weekend they’d jump from green to falling to the ground without sharing their autumnal glory. Here’s what we forget. Trees don’t hurry. They do what is needed when it is needed and not a moment before.

Last weekend we received a good soaker of a rain, which evidently turned on the internal mechanism for transformation. A week later we’re surrounded by vibrant reds, yellows and oranges !! All at the right time.

We can learn from these magnificent organisms. They still produce, grow, reach new boundaries, and evolve while being measured. There’s no sense of hurriedness. Isn’t it time that we stopped having company cultures based on a constant drive, unrealistic activity, and production at all costs ?? It is. In fact, it’s overdue. People don’t realize that this “production first” mentality is not feasible or sustainable. Instead of understanding that this breakneck pace is the cause of much of our rework, we invent new procedures that are sure to fix everything. It doesn’t and it won’t.

I’ve rarely been a person who feels rushed or pressed – personally or professionally. Sure, I get anxious about deadlines and making sure to be accountable. However, I’m measured. I slow down on purpose. I know this is frustrating to the work world of doers. If others aren’t sprinting to the point of exhaustion like they are, then they view others as not really working. Do you see the irony in this? Speed and activity are what are valued. Thoughtful, paced, intentional work is viewed primarily as slow. The results are the same, if not better, being measured. Please don’t mistake being measured as inactivity; far from it.

In order to break from the norm of running, running, running, you have to have a more disciplined approach to your day. It’s not a complicated system. In fact, simple is better and simple works. Let me give you an example . . .

Every morning before I start my commute, I walk out to my driveway and take a deep breath regardless of the weather. As I exhale, I say, ” It’s a good day for a good day.” You know what . . . it turns out that more often than not. This week, stop hurrying. Slow down. Take in everything around you. Trust me. When you do, your true colors will start showing as well !!

Peeled Away !!

One of the best aspects of Fall is that the weather breaks. It is cooler each day, and that makes it more inviting to do one of my favorite things – working out in my yard. Seriously. I love getting outside and getting projects done. The sun is no longer beating down on you, and this makes it easier to accomplish things.

This Saturday, after a full breakfast to prep for the flurry of activity, I headed to the hardware store to get some supplies. We have a split rail fence that borders our backyard, and it needed some replacement pieces. I usually have to replace three to four rails a year. I also picked up eight bags of topsoil to use in repositioning and straightening out some landscape border walls.

When I got back home, I grabbed some tools, my Shokz headphones, found a Spotify playlist, and headed out to the yard. After getting the new rails in place and taking the old ones back to my brush pile, I changed course. I needed to get some bulbs in the ground so they’d take root and give us some daffodils in the spring. You always think projects will take mere minutes to complete, but they rarely do. Time seems to expand exponentially, doesn’t it ??

That was okay. I removed some overgrown Russian Sage plants and a conglomeration of gladiolas to make room for the new bulbs. Once all this was done, I hit a wall. You see, in my mind, I’m still this 20-year-old. I’m far from it !! I have the best intentions of working constantly throughout the day, but Father Time is winning. I wasn’t dissuaded. It just meant another course change.

For months, I had noticed our siding on our 2nd floor turn a green hue with moss and mildew. Earlier in the summer, our daughter was visiting for the weekend, and she helped me maneuver our extension ladder so I could use our pressure washer to remove the grime. We were able to address the front of the house, but didn’t have a chance to get to the west side. I decided that removing this green goo was my next project for the day. I asked my wife to come out to spot me, watch the ladder, and move the pressure washer if needed.

I lumbered up the ladder with the washer wand in hand. I took my position with assured footing. Then, I started peeling the green growth off the siding line by line and section by section. It was so pleasing to see the natural color of the siding reappear. As I was up on the roof, I turned around and saw our chimney. You could no longer tell it was constructed of beautiful red brick. The coating that encompassed it was dark green, black, and actual moss was growing, trying to swallow it.

I couldn’t allow the brick to remain covered in slime. I turned the pressure washer around and opened fire. It took several minutes to peel back the layers. It was worth it though !! Years of gunk had given it a completely different appearance. I imagined the brick giving a healthy sigh, knowing it was being restored to its initial state.

The buildup was so great that when it broke off the chimney’s surface, it flew in all directions. Much of it was cast backwards on me. I was covered from head to toe in bits of green and black. I ended up being the filthy one. I didn’t care. Getting the siding and chimney clean gave me pleasure.

This peeling back of layers of all that had grown reminded me of employees. Stick with me here. You see, most people at work take on bits of accumulation based on working in environments that primarily focus on the negative. They can’t shake it off. It just keeps piling on and leads to discoloration. People can still perform, but it’s hard to see the talented person who is still present below the layers and layers of buildup.

What’s even more concerning, we notice something’s not right while the piling on continues. It’s time that HR gets out their pressure washers !! We need to carefully and empathetically peel back the layers of negativity that encompass our people. We also need to set the stage that we’ll no longer foster or tolerate working from the position of “what’s wrong.” Once the surfaces of our people are clean, we need to come at work, problems, and projects from a constructive position. Figure out the opportunities and approaches to move things forward. Assess where things stand, and then unleash the inherent talent of our people.

You’re going to get sprayback when you do this. It will take patience to keep clearing everything away. You may get tired and even want to stop the effort. Press on. Your great people deserve it. Take the time to reveal their talents once again !!

Festival Culture !!

This weekend, Fall finally arrived. It is my favorite season by far !! The leaves change colors, the temperature drops, and you break out your favorite sweatshirt. You spend more time outside even though there’s less daylight. It’s the perfect season in every possible way.

Another aspect of the arrival of Fall is the abundance of festivals. It seems like people can take any singular item and launch a festival. Around here, there are multiple Oktoberfest celebrations, an Apple Festival, a Sauerkraut Festival, the simply named Fall Festivals, and Pumpkin Festivals. My wife told me about one such Pumpkin Festival in the city that adjoins ours. It’s appropriately called Operation Pumpkin, and I wanted to make sure to check it out. She did as well, but she needed to attend a baby shower of one of our cousins. She encouraged me to go anyway. I’m so glad I did !!

Our granddog, Wags, was visiting once again, and he loves to get out and about. He’s very comfortable being social. We made the 15-minute drive over to Hamilton, Ohio, and saw the Festival seemingly pop up out of the ground. We were diverted from the main street running through the city because the festival had taken over. Once we parked, I removed the ever-eager Wags from the backseat of my Equinox and quickly grabbed his leash because he was so excited to join the throng.

There’s no mistaking where the festival started because a display of MASSIVE pumpkins was at the event’s entry point. People were gathered around, all with their phones out, taking pictures. After that eye-catching spectacle, you fell in with the hundreds of people inching their way up and down the street. Booth after booth made up a boundary for everyone on either side. There were crafts, food trucks, beer, tschotskes, a glass blowing exhibit, and countless pumpkins. Artisans were cordoned off in the middle of the street as they did live carving on some of the behemoths.

Wags and I were enthralled with the sights, sounds, smells, and genuine camaraderie of everyone there. People from all walks of life filled every possible space. They ranged from infants to the elderly. You came across people whose arms were so filled with purchases that they could hardly control their finds. Wags was the center of attention, both young and old. I made sure to have him meet some people who were chair-bound, and just wanted to show and receive some affection.

Also, even though Hamilton is a fairly large city, I saw people I knew. That even included one of the teachers from our kids’ daycare who had known them as infants !! She gave me the biggest hug. I couldn’t believe she even recognized me, as the kids hadn’t seen her for 20+ years. It was a wonderful surprise. The others were folks from our church and some HR peers.

As we sat on a wall in front of the County Courthouse to take a break and eat some lunch, I was taken by something unique to festivals. Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone. There was a general sense of joy and engagement. People had a myriad of choices. The variety was available so that you weren’t stuck with just one activity, food choice, or purchase option. If something didn’t pique your interest, you could move to the next booth.

The conversations happening were vibrant, excited, and passionate. You’d hear about people’s experiences and recommendations of what they were seeing. It was as if they didn’t want anyone to miss what they saw. It was encouraging and welcoming. It made me wonder what would happen if our workplaces adopted a festival culture. I’m not suggesting we have booths, food trucks, and carnival rides (although that would be cool). However, if we were intentional about having activities that mattered and interesting conversations, I think we’d see a shift. Festivals are focused on people providing services. Workplaces are focused on work, work, deadlines, stuff, and work. People are an afterthought.

We’re overdue in turning the tide regarding our culture and our approach toward people. When we know we have people who want to be involved, contribute, and add value, why wouldn’t we do everything we could to have an inviting culture ?? People flock to festivals just because they’re happening. I think that is how we should look at having a colorful, energy-filled, and inviting culture in our workplaces.

A Handwritten Note . . .

A few weeks ago, I joined a Zoom call on a Sunday night. Before you jump to conclusions about work/life balance, give me a second to give you some context.

The call was set up to celebrate one of our peers, Mary Williams, who was retiring. It broke into my weekend, but there’s nothing wrong about that interruption at all. I was geeked when I got the invitation to spend some time to thank and encourage Mary for how she’s touched my life and the lives of countless others. Mary is a rare human who takes an immediate interest in YOU the moment you meet her. She’s had a fulfilling and successful career as an HR practitioner ending her time with the appropriate title – Head of People at her company.

Mary and I have been friends for years through volunteer leadership roles, social media connections, and especially as “fierce” rivals as to who was the #1 fan of the exceptional HR Social Hour podcast. (Mary was, and remains, #1 and I’m a reluctant #2 – although I’ll keep pressing.)

One of the many gifts Mary possesses is that her personal touch in the lives of others is expressed in a way that has become a lost art form. She sends you cards. Cards that are handwritten. Cards that bring a smile and also heartfelt tears at the same time. If you get a card from Mary, you can hear her voice as you read the thoughtful note she’s penned inside – just for you. Every person who was able to join the Zoom call shared how Mary’s cards and handwritten notes personally meant the world to them.

The card above is what she sent me, and I’m sure others, who were on the Zoom call that Sunday night. She was thanking me for taking the time to be there for her. She’s incredible and leads me to this thought . . .

Are you giving a personal touch in how you practice HR ?? If not, why not? I know we may have apprehension if we “put ourselves out there,” but I have never found that to be too big of a risk. People want to know they matter and that they’re cared for. It can’t be a thought. It deserves an action.

We have pulled back so far from making our profession human. I think this diminishes our impact and relevance. It honestly doesn’t matter how quickly you can process a spreadsheet or write another policy. That’s going to continue with ease. People are yearning for a personal touch from you. I feel that more and more, our ability to do this naturally will be the key as to whether companies should even have an internal HR function.

I’m not kidding. I feel we’re at a critical crossroads. If we don’t bring the human element to life in our companies on a daily basis, the majority of the rest of our jobs could be outsourced. It’s that essential. Stop being someone who is only technically astute. Give that same attention to being human yourself. Then, take time intentionally to connect with the people around you. Be a people-first HR leader all the time !!

This week – send a card, give someone a handwritten note, make an actual phone call, or take time to visit someone in person. Be the kind of human Mary is and see what a lasting impact you’ll make.

Dignity

This weekend, my wife and I stepped into a world that is far different than our own. Another couple invited us to join them and their adult son to venture to downtown Cincinnati with the Broken Bus Ministry. It was a day I won’t forget.

We started by learning what we were going to do and who we were going to serve. Michelle, the founder of the ministry, gave us a quick orientation to let us know what we would encounter and how to be prepared. The bus is packed from floor to ceiling with a mix of clothing, backpacks, shoes, snacks, supplies, and miscellaneous items that could be used as needed.

The description of the bus being broken is accurate !! It’s over 30 years old, and the engine sputters and coughs as you head down the road. The air conditioning strains to work, and the shocks and suspension are suspect. It’s perfection !! We headed to meet people who are experiencing homelessness. The goal of the day was to check in, provide a meal, put together a sack of snacks and drinks, and assess if the people we met needed other basic life items.

Michelle has been taking volunteers to serve this community every week for the past 14 years !! She is a volunteer as well. Many of the people she serves know her by name and wait eagerly for the bus to arrive. Who we met and what we saw was a simple reminder to be grateful for things we take for granted, such as shelter, food, and safety. After a few stops, we got our bearings and joined in the efforts to serve. My wife manned the biscuits and gravy station, and Trevor, the son of our friends, helped with clothing and snacks. Michelle, Amy and John, and I got out of the bus to talk with the people we saw. We invited them to come get a meal.

It was humbling to see people crawl from their makeshift “homes” to get a container of warm food and other items. The best part of our time serving was the conversations we had. I hadn’t expected this. My friend John noted that when we got back into the bus to move to the next stop, the most obvious and salient thing. “Steve, the number one thing all of these people want is to be treated with dignity.” I felt tears well up in my eyes and agreed.

It’s easy to judge, make statements, and ignore people. It is. The slightest difference causes us to decide the value of the people we encounter. It’s not fair. It’s not necessary. But, it’s 100% human.

During my day downtown, this smacked me firmly between the eyes. I gathered myself, and soon found myself sharing stories, telling jokes, laughing with, and listening to the stories of these folks who were facing insurmountable challenges to make it through the next day. We were in the midst of those who live on the fringe because of choices, life circumstances, drugs, alcohol, and mental illness. In no way did it diminish the fact that they deserved to be treated with grace, care, and respect. It’s not something they regularly receive from the majority of people who move around them.

What would our world look like if we treated each other consistently with dignity? How would workplaces and cultures be shaped if we saw the best in everyone and what they had to offer? How would your day go if you took the time to acknowledge, greet, and encourage others regardless of their circumstances?

I know that my viewpoint was broadened this weekend, and I don’t want to return to a place that ever looks at someone as “less than” me. One of the people we met was so conversational, and he asked if he could share a word with us. We all eagerly said that we’d love to hear what he had to say.

“To quote the great band Cinderella (an epic 80s Heavy Metal Hairband), ‘You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.’ I had everything. A home, a job, loving parents, and more. Never take it for granted. Tell the people in your life you love them. Don’t just show them, tell them. I had those things.”

His wisdom will stay with me for the rest of my life. I won’t look past people again. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Everyone. I hope you’ll join me. Together, this simple act could reshape the world.

Wandering . . .

Have you ever hit a dry patch at work? In life?

It just seems that no matter what you do, you keep wandering with little hope of an end in sight. As you feel this happening, you buckle down and work even harder, convincing yourself you can muster the fortitude to push through. What you encounter is more sand, endless dunes on the horizon, and the sweltering sun pounding down on you.

I’ve hit one of those patches. It’s not because I don’t have an overflowing plate of work in front of me. I’m also not alone. I’m fortunate to work with an incredible team both in HR and in all the areas of work throughout the company. I have books, blogs, endless resources, and now I can ask ChatGPT anything in the world. It hasn’t broken through.

People give sage advice about self-care, taking time off, surrounding myself with music, etc. There are countless ideas people are willing to share. They know the arid feeling, and there are many approaches that have worked . . . for them.

Please understand that I’m not sharing this for sympathy. It’s intended to help us all be aware that people can be wandering through their own deserts while working in the same general space as you are. They may not express it because they’re not sure that it’s safe to share, or they may fear how they’ll be viewed if they choose to be vulnerable. I see desert wandering happening all around me on a daily basis. There is no one reason or cause for people to find themselves in these dry patches. But they are very real.

The key is to be observant. Watch for signs of people feigning interest in others at work. See if someone who is normally engaged starts to pull away and spend more time on their own – more than they had in the past. See if conversations are short, curt, and elusive. It’s as if they’re getting through their day with the smallest interactions possible.

Don’t assume the worst, though. It’s far too easy for us to see some of these things going on with others and jump to conclusions about mental health, counseling, etc. Each of these should be on our radar. We need to check in on our people and get a take on how they’re doing. We have to get out of the pattern of only interacting when there is a task at hand or a behavior to address. We would be far more successful in being human ourselves by checking in on others just because. No agenda. No deadline to address. No “reason.” The reason is simple enough. They’re our people. That gives you all the latitude you need to connect.

Let me share what has worked for me . . .

I reach out to friends who are in HR who are outside my company. It’s rare that HR pros can have someone to turn to inside their company because part of the nature of their role is to be the person who steps alongside others. Others don’t pair up alongside HR.

I had two friends out of the blue reach out this week. One said, “You were on my heart today and I just wanted to check in on you.” Priceless. The other person reached out and shared a story of how something I had shared encouraged her. She just wanted me to know. Also priceless.

After I started to capture my thoughts for this post, I had a handful of other HR pros who reached out to just check in. I’m grateful that there are people who want to make themselves available to listen. It’s needed for everyone.

Deserts are going to come. You can’t avoid them. I want to encourage you to always have a circle of dear friends you can reach out to, so you can get through them. Also, be a person who’s willing to reach out and check in on others. A simple note or phone call may be just the thing they need to navigate through the sand to greener landscapes !!