Category: Leadership

The Fellowship

I am an avowed nerd and proud of it !! I have been nerdy since I can remember. It never really bothered me because I was also able to fit in with the jocks, the band and choir groups, and many academic factions. I’ve felt comfortable being involved and connected with whatever group of people I’ve been around. This is challenging for others because we would rather have people stay in their “assigned” group. I hope that I’m never that narrow because there are far too many amazing humans on this planet to get to know and affiliate with.

When I hit 7th grade, I was tall, gangly and looked like a giraffe that didn’t quite fit in its body. Clumsy was more of the norm than having graceful moves physically or socially. I was trying to figure out the mystery of being a teenager in a new town and a new school. I had to make new friends out of thin air. The overwhelming majority of my classmates had been going to school together since they were in Kindergarten. I was completely out of my element.

One day I found myself in the stacks of the school library and I found the book The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. I had found my place !! The book took me to an entirely new world where I could lose myself. It gave me something to latch onto with all of the changes going on in my “new world.” I learned that this great book was the prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and as soon as I could open the first book, I did. It was time for The Fellowship of the Ring.

If you don’t know this book or haven’t seen the incredible Lord of the Rings movie, stop reading this post and go see them. I own them all and have read the trilogy several times as well as watched each movie over and over and . . .

The Fellowship was amazing because it brought characters together who were very diverse and not cohesive at first. They had several agendas and dislike for those who weren’t from their kingdom. Over time, as their adventure continued, they realized that each member of the group had talent and skills which were needed at various times of their quest. They were trying to get the ring to a very dark and evil place to destroy it so that evil would not be able to take over their world.

When I think of how this unlikely combination came together, I thought of HR. (Again, remember I’m a nerd and see HR in most aspects of life). I see so many amazing movements happening around the globe right now. I also am encouraged by more and more HR voices who are sharing on social media platforms. Top that off with podcasts that feature HR practitioners who express new thoughts and perspectives.

Unfortunately, there are also still those who feel they have to justify their work in HR personally and in their organizations. And, there are still those who write blogs, have podcasts and make presentations which diminish the profession in order for others to focus on them for personal gain. It’s frustrating to see that we continue to seem as if we exist outside the recognized business world.

So, I think it’s time for us to form a Fellowship of HR !! Seriously, it would be phenomenal to see the entire profession come together to move forward. The infighting and divisiveness would cease and we would lift other professionals up so they could succeed personally and professionally. Wouldn’t it be amazing to elevate the many voices and perspectives from around the world so that organizations became intentionally people-first all the time?

I think we can if we follow the example from the book on how the group came together. The most unlikely character, Frodo who was a Hobbit, stepped forward to say he would take the ring to have it destroyed in the midst of all of the other characters from various kingdoms argued as to who should lead or be in charge. The fellowship rallied around someone who had no visible strengths, stature, or personality. However, he showed a willingness to take a risk and humility that others overlooked or lacked.

The time to come together as a profession is now. The time to move the industry forward as a cohesive, diverse, and inclusive community is now. There are elements springing up everywhere that together form a fabric that is creative, authentic, and relevant. Let’s embrace all and give everyone access to join this fellowship. No one leader. No one effort. Instead, a fellowship that shares a common bond to improve the humanity of the workplace, and in turn, a more well-rounded society as a whole.

This isn’t aspirational. It’s needed. The quest is at hand. Will you join in the fellowship? It would be great to move ahead with each one of you !!

Adjust Your Shelves !!

My wife and I had a significant event happen this past week. We emerged from our basement after four months !! This wasn’t due to the never-ending pandemic. The renovation of our home’s first floor was completed. Now, please understand that we had this transformation planned before the world changed forever.

We have been very fortunate to have lived in the same house for 29 years. When we had been married for two years, we purchased our home which was originally built in 1977 and we moved into it in 1991. Over the nearly three decades, we’ve changed paint, carpet, decor, roofs, appliances, etc. However, the basic look of our family room and kitchen still had that late 70’s vibe. We had a discussion at the end of 2019 when my wife said she wanted to remodel or move.

That’s quite a decision !! Do you spend money to redo the house you’ve enjoyed for so many years and “update” it, or do you go through the adventure of finding a new home that brings its own level of stress? I’m fairly comfortable with change, but I hesitated when I was faced with these options. We raised our two kids in this house and have had many family gatherings, scout meetings, dinners with friends, and more. I know we could do that in a new house, but I wanted to stay. That decision meant that we would go through a patience exercise that you’ve never planned for. We got everything designed and once the project began, we went down the stairs to our new living quarters . . . for four months.

We completely altered how we normally live, and then the pandemic hit. Honestly, we got through life together in a much smaller space with very little conflict. As we came back up to the first floor, it felt like we were emerging from a bunker. The work of replenishing, reorganizing, and getting rid of things we didn’t need was at hand. This too went very smoothly and ended up taking multiple trips of donations to Goodwill and finding new homes for our old furniture and appliances. Everything went well . . . until the shelves.

On the “end” wall of our family room, we had two built-in bookshelves added to frame a fireplace. One bookshelf came with five shelves and the other with four. That was the first discrepancy. The next one was the placement of the shelves. My wife and I are very different which is what makes us a great couple. She balances me in so many ways. One area where we differ though is she likes order and I like variety. The shelves we added have clips on each side and it takes considerable effort to unsnap them before they can be moved.

Debbie wanted everything to match so when you faced the built-ins they would have symmetry. We hadn’t added anything to adorn the shelves yet, so we didn’t account for different sizes of items. I didn’t care. There didn’t need to be symmetry for me. As I was trying to get the levels right and have things match, I started to lose patience. I just wanted things to be completed, and my wife wanted things done correctly. You’d think that something so “easy” would not have added so much consternation. Sound familiar ??

This simple act of adjusting shelves reflects what we face at work every day. You have at least two parties working on the same task. I guarantee that many sides will be taken because no one approaches work the same way. We claim to be so good with change and being adaptable, and that just isn’t true because we overlook one simple fact. We’re “good” with adjustments if they match how WE want the outcome to be. People want to get their own way. I feel it is the underlying obstacle we hit whenever two or more people interact – which is the majority of every. day.

The shelves were adjusted. They’re symmetrical and they look wonderful !! The other part of adjustments to be successful is compromise. There is value in evaluating other people’s perspectives because we should learn from each other and stop knocking heads with each other. The goal is to move forward, not just be right and get your way.

Our house will keep coming together, and I’m sure that more adjustments will face us along the way. This week take a look had how good you are/aren’t with adjusting, and be honest with yourself. Once you assess this, then start applying new methods to move forward and truly get comfortable with adjustments.

Now to the kitchen cabinets . . .

Lost in Transition

Have you ever been between jobs and unemployed? It sucks. There’s no greater truth. Throughout my 30+ years of my career, I’ve been in transition twice when I wasn’t working in HR. I wanted to spend some time on this topic because I’m seeing a very unsettling trend. Even though there are millions of people who are unemployed, little is being done to help them.

I’m not talking about social assistance or making a political statement. We need to step back, be reflective, and evaluate this situation because we can make a difference in the lives of others if we choose to. The reality in our lives is that we may genuinely feel bad for those who are unemployed, but we expect them to buck up and shoulder the work (and it IS work) to find a new job. If we were honest with ourselves, we’re concerned if we’re personally employed first and foremost. I understand that and it is important because you want to be able to provide for yourself and those you support. Don’t you think that the same sentiment is important for those in transition as well?

Being in transition is draining, frustrating, and stressful. Like it or not, much of how we define ourselves is through our occupation. If you don’t think that’s true, take note of the first question most of us ask, and receive, when we meet someone for the first time. It’s, “So, what do you do?” We ask about their work and employment. It shouldn’t be the first things we ask, but that’s for a different post.

After time, people in transition lack the confidence, energy, and initiative to keep plodding on. They feel isolated and may even feel like a failure. It isn’t true, but no words of encouragement can breakthrough. The emotional toll that hits people in transition is significant. They may not share it with you, but it’s present and makes any job search of any length even more challenging.

Now, this is the point in most HR blogs where there are tips and tricks for jobseekers including effective networking, resume construction, how to use social media, etc. There are several people who have solid insights and suggestions which can be referenced and used. I want to offer a different suggestion that falls outside giving people more work in order to find work.

Ask those in transition one question – How can I help you?

That’s it. It sounds simple but it will call for you to make a commitment that requires consistency, follow-through, and being willing to put others ahead of yourself.

We don’t do this as often as we could. As HR professionals, we should have more natural connections with our peers and other employers than any other profession. Since that is the case, how can we be more intentional in making connections for people? I’m not talking about filling openings in your own organization. I’m talking about helping people in transition just because you can !!

I’ve been facilitating an in person HR Roundtable for 20+ years. It pains me that we haven’t been able to meet in person for several months due to the pandemic. Several years ago, a peer of mine came up to me after one of our meetings and asked if I’d consider putting people’s resumes out on a table at the back of the room. I was a bit confused. I explained to him that this was an “HR” Roundtable, and he countered without hesitation, “Then why wouldn’t the people who work with people help others? It seems natural to me. By the way, I’d like to put my resume out too.” I was floored and embarrassed by the oversight.

The next month we set up a resume table and have had one ever since. We also allow anyone in transition to attend regardless of their background. I opened up the forum for two reasons. First, HR professionals need to realize we are businesspeople first. We should embrace that and own it. Secondly, people in transition needed a way to show they are talented, smart, and willing professionals who just happen to be between gigs. It’s not uncommon to announce at the end of roundtable gatherings that several people have found jobs.

You see, people need to get healthy emotionally before they land again. YOU can be the person who helps them along that path !! This week, reach out and talk to those who are looking for work that are in your sphere. It may be a neighbor, a friend’s spouse or partner, or a stranger. (Yes, a stranger.)

We can be the solution to helping others find themselves and stop them from being lost in transition. I hope you take this to heart and reach out a helping hand. It only takes one question . . . How can I help you?

Carry On

Have you noticed, or felt, that we’re stuck? My wife and I were hanging out with another couple enjoying a few Moscow Mules and we caught up on life. Instead of talking about the various activities of our grown children or the status of our jobs, we talked about the constant wave of global events that have happened throughout 2020. Each one has had a profound experience on each of us personally as I’m sure it has for you. There doesn’t seem to be and “end” to any of these events, and maybe that’s the point.

When the pandemic hit (and it’s still happening to some exent), people longed for normalcy and a return to the life and patterns of what we’d been accustomed to doing. Now, the civil unrest, protests and call for social justice has moved us in a new direction emphasizing that we should not return to how things “have been.”

People are frustrated, angry, anxious and uncertain as to what lies ahead for our society and for each of us personally. When this happens, there are three possible reactions which will occur – (1) You’ll stay put because that gives you some sense of stability and less volatility; (2) You’ll do all you can to slide back into comfort zones and make efforts to get out of all that’s going on; and (3) You move forward and carry on.

As I was thinking about writing this week, I had the Grateful Dead radio station playing on Spotify. I am a hippie in the 21st century. The station plays a variety of artists from a similar genre, and one of my favorite groups started playing – Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. The song they were singing was Carry On which is one of my favorites.

The song is about a relationship that has broken off, but it is laced with a message of encouragement to carry on because “love is coming, love is coming to us all.” With everything that is daily affecting us, I want to assure you that we can, and should, move forward by carrying on. We’re all tired and reaching the end of our ropes emotionally, physically and spiritually. The people I talk to are exasperated. They want to move forward, but are just so spent they don’t know how. If movement doesn’t occur soon, then they’ll become stagnant and ambivalent. This doesn’t have to happen.

At some time, we all will need to carry on. Now, I’m not going to be so bold as to list specific steps and a model to help you do this. I will say though that in order to start carrying on, you need to acknowledge that you can’t stay put where you are. It’s not easy and the urge to remain where you currently are is powerful and hard to break. You may even feel that others will chime in and tell you they’re not moving forward themselves, and they will do their best to have you join them. We can’t afford to do that as people or as HR professionals.

It’s time for us to take beliefs, words and sentiments and turn them into actions. We can’t continue to be aspirational and hope that someone will pick up the mantle and run with it. This is our task and our opportunity. So, what can you DO to ensure inequality and racism isn’t present in your practices and organizations? What can you DO to care for former employees who are now in transition after the pandemic? What can you DO to show your company that every situation in your company is centered around people? Every. Situation.

It’s easy to get caught up in the ground swell of emotions of all that is going on. I’m sure you’ve experienced strong feelings yourself. After time, this level of emotion, passion and outcry for sustainable change will subside. It always does. A good friend of mine and I were talking about this, and he had a great suggestion which he finds works well.

Write down what you want to accomplish in your calendar and then write out steps you need to reach that accomplishment. Set them all up as reminders so they don’t disappear. Let them be gentle nudges for you to continue to carry on.

As I mentioned before, I’m not going to give you absolute suggestions for you to pursue. I don’t know what is facing you – but you do !! Let’s all commit to not remain stagnate. Let’s be intentional in putting accomplishments out in front of us to see ourselves, and our companies, improve. Let’s make our words turn to action. Let’s all carry on !!

Just so you have a little reminder and inspiration to get you started, here’s the CSNY classic for your listening pleasure . . .

Not Sure What to Say

It’s rare that I don’t have words readily available to type and share. I have been struggling with all of the unrest happening around the country and in my city. I wanted to say something, and I’ve been apprehensive for a few reasons. First of all, I don’t want to make a statement that would be taken out of context which is easy to have done with anything that is but a snapshot of words in time. Secondly, writing about a racial issue when I’m a white man makes me anxious as well. I don’t want my words to be taken in a way that lessens or marginalizes anyone. However, I needed to say something.

I recently read that in a time of crisis, people of courage take a stand. I choose to step in on this with grace and a yearning to understand. Along with everyone else, I hear people screaming for people to pick a side and be held “accountable.” In fact, I’ve had friends cast their sentiments and shame on me for not instantly, and emotionally, respond to all that’s happening. I realize that I’m a visible person in the world of HR, and I choose to be one on purpose. With that, I don’t feel you can only comment on all that’s good, but you should also respond when things are challenging and uncomfortable.

I ache for what is happening. I truly do. I don’t pretend that I have the same background, fear and anger that many do because my life has not been made up of the same experiences. I understand that I am treated differently because I am white and not black. I don’t agree with it and I never have. To me, I am disheartened because people have lost their lives. There are families who have lost those dear to them forever when it didn’t need to happen, and we all know that in a moment a bad decision can be made that will change the course of a person’s life forever.

The country has been filled with angst, emotion and frustration for some time. All that has been happening with the pandemic, endless political rhetoric and a constant focus on all that’s “wrong” with our existence has consumed the majority of our thoughts and conversations. I’ve seen injustice occur when a spark is lit and the bucket of emotions unleashes. It’s honestly a cycle we refuse to address and break from.

And, here’s where I get stuck for words . . .

You see, I don’t dare be prescriptive or should that “this” action should happen or “that” person should be addressed. That’s only because there are far too many of us who need to act and speak up. It’s not only the people involved in the loss of life.

I’ve seen many contacts and friends who are beside themselves and have very publicly shouted that they’re getting off social media because they just can’t handle it anymore. I’m concerned when people step away only because it can lead to a trap of isolation, intimidation and indifference. I would hope there’s a chance and a window to engage, understand and have dialogue even when emotions are running high.

This past weekend, I was in Indianapolis with my wife visiting our daughter. As we were walking through the neighborhoods around Mass Ave., I saw this piece of art which captured what I can do during this time. It’s a crossing sign that has two alternative messages on it versus the traditional Walk/Don’t Walk. It shows “Don’t Care/Care” and the button below says, “Push button to change.” As we came up on the sign, it was on the blue light saying, “Don’t Care,” and we pushed the button to make the sign express “Care.”

Now, I know this is an analogy and just a visual cue. However, I believe that in all this unrest what I can do more than ever is care. I choose to do that by reaching out to friends who I know are angry and fearful. I’ve had conversations already and plan to reach out to others to check in. I’ve asked for context and not “why” when we’ve talked. I want them to know that I’m here for them no matter what.

That may seem minor and not doing “enough” in the eyes of many. What you need to understand though is that I have lived my life with the belief and behavior of meeting you WHERE you are and for WHO you are in every aspect of your life. While the world keeps ripping itself apart over ignorant words, self-aggrandizing tweets, and a cult of personality, I choose to engage people as humans, and I will continue to do so.

I value our differences and see them as strengths and attributes that make you a wonderful person worth engaging and knowing. I refuse to be someone who is called upon to only know others if I have to compartmentalize, label, judge, marginalize or generalize them.

I care about people and I ache that once again race has become something that divides us. I want to see that change and I am going to do that one person at a time. It’s been said for centuries that “actions speak louder than words.” I hope you are reflecting on how you can genuinely express care for people for who they are and where they are in life. To me this is basic and foundational.

In getting ready to write this, I did find some words that captured my heart well from of all places – Nike. Take a look and let’s do all we can to bring people together and move forward.

Our Time is Now !!

Can you feel and see the rumblings of the next phase of the COVID-19 crisis on the horizon? We’ve been in a mix of constant change, uncertainty and regulatory direction. People are getting antsy. People are getting even more expressive and emotional. The feeling isn’t all good either. With the inevitable lifting of restrictions, people are voicing their opinions on timing, the extent of movement and political posturing is growing. To be honest, this next phase can be almost as unsettling as the front part of this time in our history.

We were asked to take drastic and immediate action when this all started, and now we’re asked to slowly return to . . . normal. Let’s be clear – normal isn’t going to be what it was. It just isn’t, and it shouldn’t be !!

I am so pleased that HR has stepped up and into leadership during the crisis. It has been long overdue. There are several blogs which have featured senior HR leaders and how they’ve been the voice of strategy, response and direction. It is unfortunate that we were only looked to as leaders because potential tragedy loomed in organizations and workplaces. I don’t want to take away from any of the great work that has been done to date in the least. The circumstances we find ourselves in have allowed HR to flex their muscles and show how a people-centric approach was needed in our companies. Because, like most issues in the workplace, the center of them is people. It always has been . . . and always will be.

People are now seeing HR as it should be seen. This isn’t a call to take advantage of a crisis. It’s a chance for us to step into leadership because that is the vantage point from which HR operates best.

My hope is that we don’t return to any semblance of normality as HR practitioners. We can’t step away from being leaders. We should take up the same mantle we’ve assumed during this time of crisis and be those who help organizations perform through its people. We need to be present and visible from now on and not shrink back to our places of feeling we’re merely a support function.

Our time is now !!

I mean this with every inch of my being. I am calling out and throwing down the gauntlet to my peers to continue leading in every facet of your work. There is no reason for us to be on the sidelines or in the shadows. We need to break from the traditional pattern of yearning and hope that “one day” we’ll be called upon. That day has arrived. The opportunity which lies before us is wide open and can be defined by us through a continued movement which we are currently facing.

It’s intriguing to me that people are pushing against the boundaries of the restrictions we’ve been placed in to keep us safe. They’re looking for the ability to move around, interact and return to work. There is a palpable energy that is about to be unleashed. We should ride that train of emotion and stop our continued systems of confinement and restriction in HR.

People have been working from home and redefining productivity, innovation, collaboration and connection. So, why would we push for people to get back into their place in line? This is a time for us to unleash the talent which people possess and expect them to continue to produce, develop and grow !!

It’s also time for us to embrace the skill of being agile and adaptable. We were forced into this a few weeks ago, but now we can continue to practice agility and adaptablity !! My good friend Paul Hebert recently wrote a post on HR Examiner asking – “Can HR do their future job?” My answer is a resounding, “YES !!!” There’s absolutely no reason to seek normality. It’s our time to launch forward and construct the new workplace, create the new expectations of performance plus encourage the development of talent throughout the organization.

I plan to move forward. Will you go with me ?? My hope is that we continue to lead, grow and thrive personally, professionally as a global HR community.

Our time is now !!

A Good Cry

I needed a break. A break from the constant barrage of news, regulations, statistics and a seemingly endless stream of bad news. It’s as if nothing else is happening in the world. Everyone is focused on COVID19 every. single. moment. It’s getting to be too much.

So, I went outside my house to sit on my porch and look at the green grass mixed with the spring flowers and the buds coming out on the trees. The birds were chirping and flying around and a chilly breeze blew across my face. Then I cried. It was wonderful and cleansing.

The beauty of viewing my front yard and escaping the madness that is trying to consume our every thought and conversation was just what I needed. The tears were a bonus. You see, I’m a very emotional person and always have been. I don’t hide it either. Whenever I was watching a television show with my kids and a heartfelt story came on, they’d stop watching the show and say, “Look, there he goes again.” It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. If it touches my heart, then I will cry.

The level of stress, anxiety and fear we are experiencing personally is unprecendented. Most people have not lived through a situation affecting the entire globe at one time. We should take note because there have always been challenges and daunting circumstances which occur daily. It’s getting our attention now because it is potentially affecting us. It’s a great reminder of why we should ALWAYS be others focused !!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve shed quite a few tears. There hasn’t been a particular reason or negative encounter. I just was about to pop with the swirl of emotions that only seem to escalate and manifest themself during every second of the day. I’ve found myself to be restless when I try to sleep which rarely happened in the past. I may have had a handful of times where I was anxious or anticipating what may occur the next day, but those were exceptions.

During this trying time, we need to take note that we’re not the only ones experiencing these heightened emotions. Everyone is. Everyone. We need to come to terms that expressing ourselves is normal and “allowed.” We grandly state that we want our employees to bring 100% of who they are to the workplace (except for their humanity and their emotions.) Sound harsh? It’s true. We want people to “tone it down” and be about their work, and their work alone.

Well, just like we didn’t anticipate forced telework, we’re now experiencing the full tidal wave of emotions that are always present in people. The only difference is that the daunting environment we’re all facing is lowering the walls so that these emotions can come out. I think it’s great and overdue. You can’t turn off emotions because we’re . . . . human. We were created and built filled with a full range of emotions. They bring us joy, show our anger or concern and allow us to share our fear, sadness and empathy.

HR it’s time we embrace the reality of emtions in ourselves and in our people. In my opinion, we can’t be effective business leaders when we try to supress the natural humanity brimming inside us. Trust me, my boss has often said, “Now, I know you’re going to cry about this . . .,” but he embraces who I am. It’s not seen as a fault or a weekness. It also doesn’t diminish my effectiveness to perform, make decisions or be rational. It does verify my humanity.

I know that practicing HR during this crisis is something none of us were prepared for. How could we be? However, we can choose how to face this. You have to uncork your emotions is a safe way. If you don’t you’ll take it out on others around you, or you’ll seek behaviors that may not be healthy for you either.

We can’t take care of others unless we take care of ourselves.

So, when you start to well up and you feel the first tears puddle up at the corner of your eyes – have a good cry. You’ll be glad you did !!

See the Lights !!

This time of year can lead to a variety of emotions. For some, the holidays are difficult while others are ecstatic. It runs the gamut and it’s hard to know how people are facing the season. It would be best if we had the courage to have safe conversations with each other. We tend to steer clear of anything that could lead to vulnerability or sensitive issues. We’re afraid we won’t know how to “properly” respond if someone gives an answer for which we’re not prepared. So, instead of interacting we avoid. That saddens me. It truly does. We’re at a time in society where more interaction would be more beneficial versus avoiding each other.

I’m a person who goes through periods of joy and also times of stress. The stress in unrealistic and brought on by the thoughts in my mind. Like most people, they tend to wander and make up scenarios with absolutely no context. I do love the music, the chance to decorate our house and to exchange gifts with my wife and kids. I don’t even mind going out among the crowds who seemingly come out of the air and fill shopping centers. The stress comes because of time and how we try to cram a year’s worth of activities into a very small window.

Thankfully, my wife introduced a tradition from her childhood that keeps me balanced. She used to get in the car with her family and they would drive around neighborhoods to see the lights. The displays weren’t the houses of friends and families per se. They were random people who had decided to have outdoor displays to capture the feel of the holidays.

When we were first married (before kids), Debbie and I kept up with this tradition and we loved it. After our kids were born, we continued driving around to see what people had put up. Now that they’ve “left the nest”, we’ll have our first season to go and see the various lighting displays as a couple once again. I’m geeked to get a thermos filled with hot chocolate to enjoy as we cruise through the night to see how creative people are.

There are several reasons why I enjoy seeing the lights each holiday season.

Time together – I am fortunate to have a phenomenal wife and kids (adults). I don’t take that for granted in the least. I know that family dynamics may not always be the best for people. But, when you take time to do things together, you have a better chance to have positive experiences which lead to positive memories.

Reduced stress – It’s easy to get caught up in the pace of life and its various pushes and pulls of the holidays. It’s an even stronger level of stress than you experience the rest of the year. However, when you’re slowly driving through a neighborhood looking at lights, the pressure you may be feeling melts away. That release is so valuable and it helps you get things back in some semblance of order and sanity.

Seeing the light – The most stunning part of seeing the displays all around us is that the light pierces the darkness. The tiny bulbs emanate all of their energy to brighten the shadows. The colors are clear, distinct and welcoming. They bring a smile to your face every time and show how powerful light truly is.

Think what your days would be like if you enjoyed the time together with those around you. How would they feel if you stopped, paused and took a breath in the midst of the daily pace of work/life and realized you didn’t need to be that stressed. And, how would your day be if you saw the light in others instead of darkness?

You have the opportunity to keep in mind the serenity of seeing the lights as you approach your day. This next week do two things – (1) See the positive side of others and be the light in their day that breaks through any potential negativity and (2) Go out yourself at night and drive around.

Take the time to go and see the lights !! You’ll be glad you did and it may become a tradition for you as well.

Making the Sale !!

This past week has been one of transitions. My wife and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary, and our oldest child was getting ready to leave home. We’re excited that Melanie is moving and continuing her career as an Occupational Therapist in Indianapolis, Indiana. A few weeks earlier, our son Josh, moved from Ohio to California, so our adventure as empty nesters is on the near horizon.

To get ready for Melanie’s move, we took a trek up to Indy to shop for furniture for her new apartment. She’s been working for a year and wanted to get her own things. We agreed and thought it would be fun to help her out. She was going to be purchasing everything, but she wanted us to check things out and share our opinion. My wife and I are grateful that we have solid relationships with both of our kids. They touch base every so often which is just enough. We don’t have any intention of being helicopter parents. We want to see our kids stand on their own and thrive !!

Back to the shopping excursion . . .

I don’t know about you, but I dread shopping for furniture. I love meandering through the stores and sitting on various sofas and chairs. I also love seeing the different styles, colors and shapes of things that can accent a house. The reason I dread furniture shopping is the immediate accosting that happens when you step two feet into a store by an over eager salesperson.

Now, I understand this is their occupation and respect that. I appreciate that they have knowledge of pricing, financing, dimensions and availability. What I can’t stand, from the majority of them, is their approach. They know why you’re visiting the store, and yet you still get asked, “Are you here to find some furniture?” We both know we are, but they use this mundane and obvious greeting for one reason which is to set their hooks in you. This ties them to you and gives them a chance at commission while also fending off the other salespeople also lurking at the front door.

The first store we visited caught me off guard. We visited Value City Furniture, and the salespeople greeted us and said to contact them if we needed them. Then we roamed freely for an hour !! It was bliss. It also allowed my daughter to take her time and see what she did/didn’t like. Roger, who met us at first, came up to us after an hour and then assisted us in purchasing a sofa and a love seat. He gave us all of the details and was outstanding. He also worked directly with my daughter since she was the purchaser.

The second store was an even better experience !! We went to Bob’s Discount Furniture and met Chauncey. He lit up the showroom and was warm, welcoming and hilarious. He worked directly with our daughter while also checking in with us to make sure she found what she needed. He had one liner jokes that put us at ease even though they were outlandish and cheesy. He chose to be intentional and engaging while also allowing us the time we needed. Melanie ended up getting a bedroom set from him.

The third store we saw brought back my anxiety, dread and past experience. We were ambushed at the door and the young man said he wouldn’t stalk us, but gave us a coupon that we could show other salespeople slowly circling for their next kill to keep them at bay. He said he’d be back in 10 to 15 minutes which really meant three. Oh, and he only addressed me as the man/father of our group. He never talked to my daughter because she obviously wouldn’t be the one paying. We walked out.

The key to all of this is relationship building. Every salesperson I know states they believe in doing this, but few practice it. I wish that people would take the cues from Roger and Chauncey !! Each of them were willing to stay in touch and allow us to have a good experience. The time they allowed for latitude ended up securing a sale for each of them. Neither had the same style, but they understood the value of meeting us where we were.

In HR we don’t think we “sell”, but that just isn’t true. Every day we are selling to make sure people have a great experience in their roles. Too often we buy the myth that we are pressed for time and that we just don’t have enough time in our day to invest in others. That, my friends, is sad.

The poor reputation that haunts our profession can be tied almost exclusively to our approach towards others. If we’d see the value of making the time to build relationships, our “sales” record would drastically improve !!

This week make time for those you work with and teach others the value of this practice. Make it your norm like Roger and Chauncey do. Trust me, you’ll start seeing the value in others, and your experience as an HR pro will get better on purpose.

Milestones

Each year the country celebrates another July 4th, and it becomes a year older. With all of the picnics, concerts, fireworks and days off from work, we tend to overlook this fact. Even though America is a mere 243 years old (young compared to many countries), it’s still another milestone.

In today’s fast paced world, we tend to see milestones come and go with little fanfare. In fact, unless the milestone directly affects us, we don’t pay it much attention at all. I understand that it isn’t feasible for you to acknowledge every possible milestone that occurs around you. However, do you slow down enough to see the ones that you can?

Recently, a spectacular milestone occurred that I’m sure you weren’t aware of. My cousin Mary turned 60 years old !! Now, that in itself isn’t much of an accomplishment. People age every day and hit significant birthdays ranging from 1 to 100. Her aging was just time passing as it always does.

What you don’t know is that my cousin, Mary, is an amazing human !! She and I have been very close since we were young children. She grew up on a family farm in the metropolis of Pemberville, Ohio while I grew up in a house trailer in the equally as massive Luckey, Ohio. (These are real places. You can Google them.) We worked on her family’s farm together over the years, but then my mother remarried when we became teenagers, and we moved to Ada, Ohio which was about an hour away. I saw Mary at family gatherings and holidays which was wonderful.

Time continued to pass and Mary graduated from college, got married and started a family. I also went to college and then happened to move back into the same town as her. Again, none of this is that unique. I’m sure you have similar extended family and/or friend stories that would mirror this.

Where the story takes an interesting twist happened 17 years ago. My cousin was diagnosed with cancer. It was not good news, and she came inches from passing away. It was simply a miracle that she made it through. Many people were praying for her and hoping for the best. She did get better and has been in remission since she was on the edge of leaving us.

THAT is why my cousin turning 60 is a true milestone !!

Since her remission, Mary has poured into the lives of others even more than she already did. She’s been fortunate to see all of her children do well and become great humans themselves. Mary is someone who still lights up a room with her smile, her heart and her infectious laugh.

As I’m typing this, I have two very good HR friends who have been recently given a diagnosis like my cousin. I’m praying and pulling for them and hope that they will get the care that they need so they can reach milestones as well. I know that there are many more circumstances that people are currently facing. They range from health challenges to difficulties at work. They may be in between jobs or have family struggles more than can be adequately captured.

I’m sharing this because I think it’s time we stopped to relish and enjoy the milestones of those folks who are in our lives. That may be true of direct family members or co-workers. Instead of rushing to the next like, share or post, what would life (and work) look like by taking time to listen and understand what is happening in the lives of those around us?

I know this may not be “natural” for you, but I think it’s worth your time. I genuinely feel that investing your time in the lives of others is the best use of your time. Every. Day. This is especially true if you’re an HR peer. HR has always been about humans and the lives they live. It’s not about the work they do !! Trust me. When you focus on the lives of others on purpose, they will be more engaged and productive than they ever have been.

This week start celebrating milestones !!

I know that this may be a change in focus for you, so I wanted to give you a tool to get you started. My good friend, Kevin Monroe, is starting a 10-Day Gratitude Challenge. I’ve signed up and would encourage you to do the same. Here is the link – https://kevindmonroe.com/the-gratitude-challenge/