Tag: Approach

Looking Ahead !!

This weekend, my wife and I did one of our favorite activities by going to see a movie in a theater. We’re both big fans of movies, and there still isn’t an experience as grand as seeing a movie on the big screen. There just isn’t.

I had to do a bit of convincing to get her to see the feature I wanted to see, but she agreed to give it a go. We chose to see Song Sung Blue starring Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson. I was fully engrossed the moment Jackman started the film. The script was wonderful, and every member of the cast was perfect. There were several actors who had been very popular in the past who came back to the screen and crushed it. On top of the story, you laid in the incredible musical catalog of the legendary Neil Diamond.

For me, the movie was very emotional. I think I cried 6 or 7 times throughout the film. The story has giant highs and extreme lows. It’s very human and based on a couple who were featured in an award-winning documentary. They saw themselves as entertainers who wanted to help people forget their troubles for the few moments they saw their shows. Jackman played Mike Sardina, who fancied himself a Neil Diamond interpreter nicknamed Lightning, and Hudson played his talented wife, nicknamed Thunder.

To say this couple experienced “life” would be an understatement !! Much of their lives was fraught with tough choices, poverty, and a lack of what many would consider success. It didn’t squelch their passion or desire to constantly move forward. Their dream to perform never dimmed. Never. They didn’t know what lay ahead for them or their family members, but they kept looking ahead.

It was a magnificent movie, which I highly recommend not only because you’ll enjoy it, but also because it conveys a great message for where we are today as a society. We all wish we had a crystal ball that clearly revealed what would come next for us in our daily lives. We don’t, and it’s a good thing. Life is unpredictable and always will be.

The question is, “How will you react when the unexpected comes?”

We’re on the edge of beginning a New Year. Most of what you read, see, and hear is dripping with disdain, negativity, and divisiveness. “What’s wrong” is the lens that leads most people’s days, regardless of what they’re facing. That is discouraging and could lead to you getting mired down to the point of not moving at all. Even if you choose to be immobile, life continues to move around you.

I think we’d be better off as individuals and as a society if we learned from Lightning and Thunder by pushing forward by first coming together. They realized how much better they were as a duo to tackle what was in front of them than trying to gut things out on their own.

I’m excited about 2026, and I have no idea what will happen. I refuse to succumb to the antagonism and darkness that try to claw for my attention and emotions. I will do all I can to see the best in others, even if they fail me (because I’m sure to fail others myself). I will encourage others to thrive and be there to listen to how life is treating them. I will pursue my passions and make sure to reach out to connect with others any time I can. When something unexpected comes, I’ll pause, assess, and then move forward. That’s how I choose to look ahead !!

To give you just a tiny flavor of the film, here’s a deep cut Neil Diamond hit they played. Just phenomenal !!

One Scoop At A Time

This weekend, we had our second significant snowfall. I’m personally very geeked about this because I grew up where snow was a regular occurrence. People in Cincinnati state they love getting snow . . . until it happens. When it hits, you see chaos ensue. People are unsure how to drive, and everything grinds to a screeching halt. The TV meteorologists are in storm mode. They fill the airwaves with doom and gloom. You’re told you’re about to face the apocalypse, when it’s just a few inches of snow.

Growing up, my dad taught me the art of shoveling a driveway. He was meticulous. He had the expectation that when you were done, the entire surface would be as clean as possible. No straggling trails of snow remnants were allowed. My brother and I would often have to go back out to get those tiny trails of snow that come off the edges of your shovel because we weren’t really “done.” This left a giant imprint on us. There was merit to this, which was laced with a layer of undue pressure.

So, when the garage door creaked open this morning, I saw a blanket of white facing me. I turned on my Spotify playlist (Brit Pop Indie 90s in case you wanted to check it out), started my workout app on my watch, took a deep breath, laid down the blade of my snow shovel, and made my first scoop. We received five inches of snow, which is fairly significant for us. On top of the volume of snow spread out across our driveway, the final two feet was dense and massive because the township snowplow had deposited all of the snow from the road firmly at the apron of every house on the cul-de-sac.

I set out to tackle the task before me, feeling the frigid temperatures with every breath I took. Oh, did I mention that it was zero degrees when I started with a wind chill that made it even colder ?? Not complaining. Just setting the stage. Steadily and slowly, I made my way across and down the driveway. I broke it down by sections, making sure that each one was cleared completely (could hear my dad’s voice in my head). I was making great headway until I hit the gunk deposited across the apron.

My activity had gone from eagerly pushing the snow across the width of the surface to barely moving at all. The rest of the snow gave very little resistance to being moved. This mix was significantly different. The weight was tripled at least !! Therefore, you had to move it one scoop at a time. You couldn’t even toss it across to an edge. It had to be walked over and deposited.

There were a few moments of labored breathing, and I felt like walking away. I could drive over it. Why overexert myself? I knew this wasn’t a realistic option. I needed to make sure the driveway was cleared. So, I kept at it methodically. Bit by bit, the apron started to appear. In the end, it took me an hour to finish shoveling. I was ready to be done. Frozen fingers and face were getting the best of me. However, it was done.

As I dropped into a chair in my family room to recover, I thought about how my shoveling was a lot like a healthy approach to work. We see the expanse of a problem sprawling out before us, just like a snow-covered driveway. We have an urge to make large efforts to clear out the problem as quickly as we can. Expediency is the drive. It’s not feasible, but we convince ourselves that if we work hard enough, we can knock it out.

The reality is that the problem needs to be addressed in a measured way. Even though this takes more time, the result is better. As you start moving the light objects in your way, you make progress easily. When things get a bit more difficult, you pause, evaluate what’s needed, then make the next scoop. You may get a bit anxious and frustrated because the end of the project is in sight. Continuing to stay disciplined and measured is needed all the way until the end.

When you adopt this approach, you’ll see that the project has been cleared with no straggling trails. This week, step back and see how you’re approaching work. Be more measured. Make sure to take one scoop at a time.

It Is Better to Give . . .

. . . to bless those who receive.

I know that’s not the exact quote, but I’d like you to hang with me for a few minutes to explain.

Next year, I will be starting my 40th year as an HR practitioner !! It is so hard to grasp this reality. My career started off with a flair, followed by a failure. I was so fortunate to begin my HR journey at a Fortune 100 company. They’ve been successful for almost 190 years. The challenge of my first role didn’t involve what I did; it was in regards to the culture. Now, you have to remember that when I started in HR, no one talked about company culture. No one. You were expected to go to work and accept things as they were. You would have never thought of questioning any aspect of a company’s culture. It was unheard of.

I learned the hard way that since I didn’t do well with conformity, I wasn’t long for this role. After 18 months, when I was presented with an opportunity to leave Cincinnati and move to a rural place and work in a manufacturing company, I chose to leave instead. Did I mention that I was young, arrogant, and narrow-minded at this time in my career ?? Did I also note that I didn’t have another job when I left my first HR job ??

I was sure that people would want to hire me right away because of my education and the experience I had just earned. I mean, it was an entire 18 months !! I was clueless . . . and unemployed. I jumped into the job search process right away. These were the days before the internet existed. I was unsuccessful. I had no nibbles or interviews. The time of my transition only expanded. It started to get pretty stark. I asked my parents for a loan so I could maintain my apartment and pay my bills. I took a part-time job with friends doing landscaping at minimum wage. And, my girlfriend at the time (who has now been my wife for 36 years), stood by my side and bought me groceries. I couldn’t afford even the basics.

To say this experience was humbling doesn’t adequately describe what I was going through. I never thought that I’d be in a place where I would lose everything and not be able to get out of it. I was so grateful for those who gave to help me. I’ve never taken it for granted since.

I was able to find another HR job after 13 months. 13 months. My view on life and work had forever been altered . . . for the better. I now appreciated that I had the ability to work. I was more mindful and thankful for those I worked with. I understood that life could change in a moment, regardless of who you were or what job you held.

Back to today . . .

People are feeling the need to be givers at this time. The challenges in the economy and the recent government shutdown have touched people’s hearts. Giving has grown dramatically. People are willing to give what they can to help others in need. It’s just like when I was in need myself.

Yesterday, I was participating at a Food Drive for a local mission. I’m involved with them as a Board Member, and my wife volunteers there. I only mention this because of an encounter I had at the event. I saw a familiar face as we were talking to people coming to Kroger. He said, “Hey, I see you at the door greeting me and my wife at church !!” I said, “I’m Steve, and you are?” He replied, “I’m Doug. My wife Joyce and I have been coming for a few months. I’d like to do something a little more than this, but I won’t have everything purchased by the time you wrap up here today.”

“No problem,” I stated. “Just bring whatever you’d like to church tomorrow, and I’ll take it from there. I’ll be going to the Mission on Monday afternoon for a meeting, and I’d be glad to take your donation there.” Sunday came, and Doug met me at the door. “Can I put what we got in your car?” he asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll meet you in the back parking lot.” He pulled around, and my jaw hit the ground when I saw what he wanted to give me. The amount of food he and his wife had purchased filled the back of my car !! I thanked Doug profusely and mentioned that what they gave would bless those who would receive it.

This isn’t about how much you do or don’t give. I want to encourage you, though, to be someone who gives regularly. You pick where you want your giving to go. This isn’t only about material items either. We all can give our time as volunteers, people who can serve on boards, or people who can lend a hand to someone in need. I learned first hand about how other’s willingness to give helped me at the time I most needed it.

Your giving will do the same. Take a moment and see what you can do. Choose to move forward and not be idle. Whatever you can do will matter. It is better to give . . .

Slow Down

People are constantly in a hurry. Constantly. On top of that, people are rarely disconnected from a screen of some sort. (I know you’re using a screen to read this, but hang with me.)

This constant pressure to be moving no matter the cost is exhausting !! People are edgy and ready to snap at the drop of a misconceived phrase someone asks looking for clarification. The ironic thing about this incessant pace is that few object to it. We’ve convinced ourselves that it’s the norm. Even if you take a day off, you fill it immediately with as much activity as you possibly can. This concerns me for several reasons.

First of all, we’ve believed the lie that if we DON’T hurry, then something is sure to be forgotten, overlooked or incomplete. Also, we’ve taken on this hidden peer pressure (also a lie) that if we don’t hurry, someone else will and then they’ll get ahead of us. The third lie we tell ourselves is that if WE don’t do everything ourselves, then the end product is certain to be shoddy. No one does work as good as we do !!

Ugh. It’s killing us. We need to all SLOW DOWN.

My favorite season is Fall. In the Midwest, the temperature drops, and our trees show their true colors. This year in Cincinnati, Ohio, we went from having a surplus of rain to a full-on drought. The trees stayed green. We were getting concerned because we thought this meant that one weekend they’d jump from green to falling to the ground without sharing their autumnal glory. Here’s what we forget. Trees don’t hurry. They do what is needed when it is needed and not a moment before.

Last weekend we received a good soaker of a rain, which evidently turned on the internal mechanism for transformation. A week later we’re surrounded by vibrant reds, yellows and oranges !! All at the right time.

We can learn from these magnificent organisms. They still produce, grow, reach new boundaries, and evolve while being measured. There’s no sense of hurriedness. Isn’t it time that we stopped having company cultures based on a constant drive, unrealistic activity, and production at all costs ?? It is. In fact, it’s overdue. People don’t realize that this “production first” mentality is not feasible or sustainable. Instead of understanding that this breakneck pace is the cause of much of our rework, we invent new procedures that are sure to fix everything. It doesn’t and it won’t.

I’ve rarely been a person who feels rushed or pressed – personally or professionally. Sure, I get anxious about deadlines and making sure to be accountable. However, I’m measured. I slow down on purpose. I know this is frustrating to the work world of doers. If others aren’t sprinting to the point of exhaustion like they are, then they view others as not really working. Do you see the irony in this? Speed and activity are what are valued. Thoughtful, paced, intentional work is viewed primarily as slow. The results are the same, if not better, being measured. Please don’t mistake being measured as inactivity; far from it.

In order to break from the norm of running, running, running, you have to have a more disciplined approach to your day. It’s not a complicated system. In fact, simple is better and simple works. Let me give you an example . . .

Every morning before I start my commute, I walk out to my driveway and take a deep breath regardless of the weather. As I exhale, I say, ” It’s a good day for a good day.” You know what . . . it turns out that more often than not. This week, stop hurrying. Slow down. Take in everything around you. Trust me. When you do, your true colors will start showing as well !!

Festival Culture !!

This weekend, Fall finally arrived. It is my favorite season by far !! The leaves change colors, the temperature drops, and you break out your favorite sweatshirt. You spend more time outside even though there’s less daylight. It’s the perfect season in every possible way.

Another aspect of the arrival of Fall is the abundance of festivals. It seems like people can take any singular item and launch a festival. Around here, there are multiple Oktoberfest celebrations, an Apple Festival, a Sauerkraut Festival, the simply named Fall Festivals, and Pumpkin Festivals. My wife told me about one such Pumpkin Festival in the city that adjoins ours. It’s appropriately called Operation Pumpkin, and I wanted to make sure to check it out. She did as well, but she needed to attend a baby shower of one of our cousins. She encouraged me to go anyway. I’m so glad I did !!

Our granddog, Wags, was visiting once again, and he loves to get out and about. He’s very comfortable being social. We made the 15-minute drive over to Hamilton, Ohio, and saw the Festival seemingly pop up out of the ground. We were diverted from the main street running through the city because the festival had taken over. Once we parked, I removed the ever-eager Wags from the backseat of my Equinox and quickly grabbed his leash because he was so excited to join the throng.

There’s no mistaking where the festival started because a display of MASSIVE pumpkins was at the event’s entry point. People were gathered around, all with their phones out, taking pictures. After that eye-catching spectacle, you fell in with the hundreds of people inching their way up and down the street. Booth after booth made up a boundary for everyone on either side. There were crafts, food trucks, beer, tschotskes, a glass blowing exhibit, and countless pumpkins. Artisans were cordoned off in the middle of the street as they did live carving on some of the behemoths.

Wags and I were enthralled with the sights, sounds, smells, and genuine camaraderie of everyone there. People from all walks of life filled every possible space. They ranged from infants to the elderly. You came across people whose arms were so filled with purchases that they could hardly control their finds. Wags was the center of attention, both young and old. I made sure to have him meet some people who were chair-bound, and just wanted to show and receive some affection.

Also, even though Hamilton is a fairly large city, I saw people I knew. That even included one of the teachers from our kids’ daycare who had known them as infants !! She gave me the biggest hug. I couldn’t believe she even recognized me, as the kids hadn’t seen her for 20+ years. It was a wonderful surprise. The others were folks from our church and some HR peers.

As we sat on a wall in front of the County Courthouse to take a break and eat some lunch, I was taken by something unique to festivals. Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone. There was a general sense of joy and engagement. People had a myriad of choices. The variety was available so that you weren’t stuck with just one activity, food choice, or purchase option. If something didn’t pique your interest, you could move to the next booth.

The conversations happening were vibrant, excited, and passionate. You’d hear about people’s experiences and recommendations of what they were seeing. It was as if they didn’t want anyone to miss what they saw. It was encouraging and welcoming. It made me wonder what would happen if our workplaces adopted a festival culture. I’m not suggesting we have booths, food trucks, and carnival rides (although that would be cool). However, if we were intentional about having activities that mattered and interesting conversations, I think we’d see a shift. Festivals are focused on people providing services. Workplaces are focused on work, work, deadlines, stuff, and work. People are an afterthought.

We’re overdue in turning the tide regarding our culture and our approach toward people. When we know we have people who want to be involved, contribute, and add value, why wouldn’t we do everything we could to have an inviting culture ?? People flock to festivals just because they’re happening. I think that is how we should look at having a colorful, energy-filled, and inviting culture in our workplaces.

Step By Step

It’s interesting as you age. Every movement is accompanied by some crack or squeak. There are sporadic shots of pain for no apparent reason. Your brain communicates messages of movement, but your body is hesitant to respond. It takes a concentrated effort to make any advance. This can be disheartening because you’re eager to be as active as you were when you were younger, but time is winning.

I’ve received advice from my primary physician for years to be more active. It is logical and reasonable encouragement. I know that being more active, eating better, and looking out for my overall health makes sense. The pull of inertia, tiredness, and mental exhaustion often causes me to remain motionless even though I know better. You know the saying – “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” That’s where I found myself.

Enter Wags, our grand dog. I’ve written about him often because he’s been such a bright spot in our lives. A few weeks ago, my wife and daughter went on a mother/daughter vacation to Tybee Island and Savannah, Georgia. That meant that Wags and I were brought together. It was magnificent !! You see, Wags is a bundle of frenetic energy while also being an incredibly well-behaved companion. He will patiently wait at the front window, longing for your return. When you hit the door . . . it’s on. He wants to give you ALL of his attention, and he expects ALL of yours !! It’s a fair exchange.

We spent hours playing in our backyard. He would chase an object, bring it back, and then refuse to give it up. Playing keep away was almost as fun as chasing. I think if he could laugh or make a snarky comment about my efforts to retrieve the ball, frisbee, or giant egg, he would. Playing, I soon found out, was just the warm-up lap. He expected me to get out his leash and harness so we could go for an extended walk. Not kidding. If we went a mile, he’d look back as if to say, “Good start. Let’s keep going.”

Each day, we averaged two to three miles per walk. We’d both collapse after getting back, and it felt great !! He never felt the pull of staying put. He needed to move and refused to do it alone. It was exactly the inspiration I required. I looked forward to our daily treks. I had him over the Labor Day holiday weekend, so I chose to drive out to a State Park to up our game. We hiked for miles on trails and through creek beds. I noticed that each day we were active, I felt better. Yes, my creaks and cracks were still present, but I didn’t become discouraged. The soreness meant I was using muscles that were designed to move and not be dormant.

After Wags returned home with Melanie, I had a choice. I could easily return to the world of being sedentary, or I could keep moving one step at a time. I began a nightly routine after work of walking. I didn’t let the excuse of the weather or the reality of a challenging day stop me. I decided to walk anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour through my neighborhood. It’s been just what I needed. I was finally following my doctor’s instructions. Finally.

Where are you stuck? What is keeping you in place, unable to move? We all have areas like this. All of us. Here’s what I know. If we aren’t healthy ourselves, we can’t help others be healthy. It’s contradictory. Let me encourage you not to fall into the trap of thinking about giant shifts and impossible leaps. Take one step. Just one. Then the next one. See where you find yourself going !!

Borders

This past weekend brought a welcome break in our weather. The summer was sweltering, which made it challenging to do much work outside. Since we had some fall-like weather, I decided to get out in the yard and finish a project that I had started over a year earlier.

Our daughter had something unique piled up in her garage. The back left corner of it was filled with landscape pavers. The stack was giant not only because they were a foot wide each, they also rose four feet above the floor. She was barely able to get her car in the garage without getting too close to the sprawling mass. The person who had owned the house two owners before her had used them all over the yard. Now they were just sitting there gathering spiderwebs and grime.

I asked her if I could take them to our house and use them to edge our beds. She thought that would be a great use of them, and told me she’d bring a load back home the next time she visited. When she came a few weeks later, I was concerned because the weight of the pavers really showed in the back of her SUV. Her wheels were struggling because she tried to bring so many. The repurposing of the pavers was wonderful. We had wanted to give the beds in the back and right side of our house more definition.

We used all of the pavers she brought in the first trip quickly. We only had enough to do the bed in the backyard that bordered our back patio. We thought we would have had more than enough to finish everything. I suggested we measure the next bed, and told her that I’d drive up to get the next load because my car was older. With everyone’s schedule in our two families, more time passed before I could get more pavers. I stacked them on my front patio to be used for the side yard.

The seasons changed, and I couldn’t get out to create the border I had wanted to finish quickly. That brings us back to this weekend. With a gap in time and nothing on my schedule, it was overdue to finish the landscape border. It took all afternoon, but it was worth it !! I had to work the edge to make sure the grass was back far enough to set the pavers in place. I added topsoil under each paver to make sure they would be level as I laid them end to end. Having a dedicated space for our flowers and shrubs to thrive was just what I was hoping for.

Borders remind me of how we should look at the roles and responsibilities we have for employees within our companies. I believe in this approach versus the traditional job descriptions we’ve used for decades. Most job descriptions are nothing more than a list of tasks we develop to justify the jobs people fill. They rarely describe what and how people truly do their daily work.

Writing something that provides people with parameters for them to work is essential. If people have enough room to grow, develop, and perform, then they’ll be able to thrive, just like our plants. Isn’t that better? If people had the latitude to stretch, use their strengths, and be creative in a broader system and environment, think how much better our companies would be.

This week, take a lesson from my landscaping adventure. Get rid of the roots and uneven ground your people have been given with lists of tasks only meant to confine. Instead, level things out and give them a border that allows them to be the talented people they’ve always been !!

Onward

A week ago, I was able to experience something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time !! My daughter, Melanie, and I went to a WNBA game. She lives in Indianapolis, so of course, we had to become Indiana Fever fans. We were following the team before they were transformed with the addition of Caitlin Clark.

Basketball is something that has been a shared passion for my daughter and me. I played all through high school, and even considered playing at the collegiate level. I was geeked when my daughter caught the basketball bug at an early age herself. She also played through high school, and I was fortunate to get to coach her for a few years when she was just learning the game. On top of all of this, we became fierce Xavier University basketball fans because we live in greater Cincinnati. We attended several games over the years, and they are some of my favorite memories of doing things together.

The Fever game was a special surprise as a birthday gift from Melanie. We had to wait eight months for the game to happen. During that time, Clark became injured. She has helped transform the WNBA along with other new talents. It’s exciting for people to finally get on board to support and see these amazing women perform. They play a pure form of basketball that is a joy to watch.

Melanie was bummed that Caitlin Clark wouldn’t be playing when we went. Unfortunately, the Fever had lost two other key players to injury. They’ve had to add some new players on short-term contracts to do their best to weather this string of injuries. I told her that I was bummed as well, but the key to me was spending time with her watching another game in person.

The environment, arena, and crowd were electric. There was a buzz the moment we parked the car in the attached parking garage. Every single person had Fever branded gear on. Every. One. I had never seen anything so compelling. You didn’t know the extent of how much people knew the game, the players, or how deeply they were fans. However, they seemed to be fully in by their excitement.

We visited the team store and bought some gear of our own. We were as caught up in the fervor as everyone else. As we made it to our seats, we were set with snacks and an incredible view. We took in every moment and cheered the Fever on through the ups and downs of the action. In the end, the team lost. We were hoping for a better outcome, but we were far from disappointed. The outcome never mattered. The time with Melanie did.

The entire time we spent together, I was reminded that we were surrounded by people moving . . . onward. The Fever had lost several of their players, but they still played with the intent of winning. They could have let their circumstances stop them. They could also have just put in little effort to compete. The fans could have chosen not to attend because the players they expected to see weren’t going to take the court. After the loss, the fans could also have sworn to never support the team again. I’m fairly sure that won’t happen.

How is it for you and others at work? How much of your day is spent stuck in the various circumstances you’re facing? When have you found yourself stagnant and unable to move because of all that life is handing you?

We need to move onward. We need to surround ourselves with others who will support and encourage us. The circumstances of life are always going to be unpredictable and unforeseen. There’s no escaping it. Moving forward through whatever comes our way is sure to be challenging. It may take time and concerted effort, but you can do it. You can.

Onward.

When I Fall . . .

The primary story everyone seems to be talking about and is enamored with is the viral video of the CEO and CPO of Astronomer at a recent Coldplay concert. I was as intrigued about it as anyone. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, and I made snide comments and shared/viewed memes and gifs that were made instantaneously. I had countless friends reach out to me to ask if I had seen the video and how it involved a person who is in HR. I’m not proud of how I responded and got caught up in the media storm. This is why . . .

I don’t condone the choices these two adults made. It captured our attention because of how they responded when they got caught. Isn’t it telling that this story of two people publicly failing garnered far more attention than the many, many challenges and atrocities happening across the planet right now ?? We yearn for salacious stories. The grittier and more gossipy, the better. This is true in situations that are in the public eye, in our workplaces, or among our families and friends.

Falling in some magnificent way grabs us far more than seeing, hearing or experiencing positive and encouraging stories. Isn’t that concerning ??

I think it is. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a world that enjoys the downfall of others as a primary source of our entertainment and our own personal value. Don’t believe me?

Attend an HR conference and just listen to the conversations happening around you. The majority of what is being shared is about difficult people who frustrate us and suck out our souls. We act as if they are so detrimental that we can’t even adequately do our job. When those stories are shared, they’re contagious. People willingly jump in and pile on. It’s like we want to exist in an ongoing game of truth or dare to see who can share the biggest dirt pile they’re facing.

I felt compelled to write this because I fail. Often. I fall down in my words, my actions, and my attitudes about others. Again, not proud about this. The story about the folks from Astronomer made me reflect. What would happen if the camera were focused on me when I have failed others? How would I react? What would the response be from my peers and friends? Would they be snarky, create memes, and smear me all over the place? Would it bring them joy to feel they had not made the same mistake(s) I have?

This eats at me. I believe we are in a field where we need to focus far more on behavior versus compliance. We are faced with far more behaviorally motivated interactions between people than any actual work occurring. We need to understand (as I shared on LinkedIn this past Friday) that:

” . . . we all need to remember that as humans, we are frail, prone to fail as well as succeed. When someone falls, let’s pick them up – not tear them down.”

The two people from Astronomer had their lives changed in an instant. It’s going to affect them personally and professionally for years to come. They’re most likely not going to recover from this for some time. This doesn’t even account for those with whom they are close or related to.

There are consequences to every decision we make in life. You can’t escape that. Even so, my hope is that someone is in their corner to lift them up after this horrific fall. I would want someone in my corner.

So, when I fall, which is inevitable, will others be there for me? I can tell you this. When others in my life fall, I will do my best to be there for them.

Iron Things Out

We all have our morning routines. You need to because they set the tone for your day. For me, it starts with a hot shower to shake off the cobwebs, and then I meander down the hall to my wife’s craft room.

Her crafting laboratory is also where our ironing board is located. Every morning of my work week, I turn on this amazing appliance and iron my outfit. Since my daily attire consists of a paisley shirt and jeans, you wouldn’t think that this would be needed. I could skate by with pulling them off the hangar and throwing them on. Honestly, who would notice ?? (Don’t think that on some mornings when I’m dragging, this thought hasn’t passed my mind !!)

Taking a few moments to get prepared for the day ahead is calming. You can focus on getting ready. It allows me to adopt a great mindset to look forward to what’s ahead. I’m not much of a to-do list person, but I do like to contemplate what I think is possible. I know that it could change within a split second because I get to work with humans. We all desire for work to be steady and predictable, but it rarely is.

Each time I iron my outfit, I think of HR. You see, my pants and shirts are in a fairly good state, just as they are . . . with a few wrinkles. By adjusting the iron to the correct temperature setting for the clothes, I can press those wrinkles away so I look good and feel prepared to start my day with a positive look.

We need to think of working with others like ironing. They come to see us mostly good. They really are. We tell ourselves, though, that our job is to “fix” things because what they’re facing is in such a state that MAJOR action is needed. That is rarely the case. People come with a few wrinkles. They need someone who will assess what’s happening, set the right tone and temperature, then iron things out. You may need some steam to work on those deep wrinkles at times. The goal is to get people back in shape so they can perform their jobs.

We can’t fix people. It’s a myth that we continue to perpetuate. In fact, we reward people who are fixers. At times, I think we fall into the trap that they’re doing great work. Honestly, they’re shifting things around to come to a solid conclusion that eases the pressure that they probably started. These folks need more attention, and we need to step in to have those grounding conversations. They have talent and don’t have to keep approaching work as if everything is broken.

If we took this approach of smoothing out the wrinkles instead of being someone expecting to perform triage, then we wouldn’t be so frustrated and stressed ourselves. You see, we come to work with wrinkles too. It’s time for us to lay out our outfits. Let’s step back, calm down, and take a few moments to use our iron in our work. Trust me, it works !!