Tag: intentional

You’re On the Team !!

My life is surreal. Seriously.

For the past several years, I’ve been fortunate to give presentations around the country. I get to live out a dream I’ve had to be a public speaker. Each time I am asked to speak, I’m both geeked and humbled. Humbled because I never want to take any opportunity for granted. Geeked because I get amped up any time I get to meet my HR peers.

This week, I was invited to speak at the HR Conference for Major League Soccer (MLS) !! Our local team, FC Cincinnati, was the host location. It was so cool to have the soccer stadium as the environment where I gave my presentation. The room was filled with HR practitioners from each of the 30 MLS teams as well as folks from their corporate office. I was given 90 minutes to fill to kick off their event.

We had a great time laughing, sharing stories, and bonding as HR peers. I gathered all of my office toys, talked with a few of the attendees, and headed back to my office. After the experience, I opened a small, branded FCC bag to look at what was inside. I was giddy because I knew in advance what was there.

When the HR team asked if I’d consider being a speaker, they asked if there was anything I’d like. I took a chance and made the ask. I wondered if I could get a personalized FCC jersey. I was stunned when they asked what size, what color, and what number I’d like !! I quickly stated I’d love a blue jersey with my fave number 31. It was the number I wore all the years I played basketball 40+ years ago.

When I pulled the jersey from the bag, I was overjoyed !! It was an example of “being” on the team. It also made me contemplate what it means to be on a team of human resources professionals.

When I began my career, I was an HR department of one for my first several years in the field. I never understood or knew that there were other HR pros anywhere close to where I worked. I made a conscious choice to step out and explore the possibility that others did what I did. It was the best personal and professional choice I made. I soon found out that there were countless others practicing HR across the globe.

This reality excited me, and I assumed it would excite others just as much. I was mistaken. You see, I feel that the HR profession is still far too isolated and fragmented when it doesn’t have to be. I think this is because so many of my peers continue to keep their heads down, buried in the work for which they’re responsible. I appreciate people being diligent. You should be. However, there’s no reason to be disconnected from others who also practice HR.

We’re all on the team !!

Jeff Berding, the co-CEO of FC Cincinnati, stated something that rang true with me and those in the room. He stated that there is no better time for HR to lead and thrive because we’re the profession that cares for people. He’s right. It’s always been the case. It’s just a matter of whether we see ourselves in this same light.

You aren’t alone. I feel tied and connected to the 50+ people I met on Friday. I extended an invitation for them to connect with me on purpose. I ended my presentation with this encouragement.

“Don’t leave this conference only having talked with the people you already know and work with. Reach out to the others here. Get to know them. You’re all on the same team. The team of HR !!”

This week, make sure to know I consider you on my team if you are an HR peer, regardless of where you work, where you live, or what industry you support. Teams pull together. Teams lift each other up, and most importantly, teams thrive !! Get your jersey. Put it on. Take the field. People are waiting for us !!

Onward

A week ago, I was able to experience something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time !! My daughter, Melanie, and I went to a WNBA game. She lives in Indianapolis, so of course, we had to become Indiana Fever fans. We were following the team before they were transformed with the addition of Caitlin Clark.

Basketball is something that has been a shared passion for my daughter and me. I played all through high school, and even considered playing at the collegiate level. I was geeked when my daughter caught the basketball bug at an early age herself. She also played through high school, and I was fortunate to get to coach her for a few years when she was just learning the game. On top of all of this, we became fierce Xavier University basketball fans because we live in greater Cincinnati. We attended several games over the years, and they are some of my favorite memories of doing things together.

The Fever game was a special surprise as a birthday gift from Melanie. We had to wait eight months for the game to happen. During that time, Clark became injured. She has helped transform the WNBA along with other new talents. It’s exciting for people to finally get on board to support and see these amazing women perform. They play a pure form of basketball that is a joy to watch.

Melanie was bummed that Caitlin Clark wouldn’t be playing when we went. Unfortunately, the Fever had lost two other key players to injury. They’ve had to add some new players on short-term contracts to do their best to weather this string of injuries. I told her that I was bummed as well, but the key to me was spending time with her watching another game in person.

The environment, arena, and crowd were electric. There was a buzz the moment we parked the car in the attached parking garage. Every single person had Fever branded gear on. Every. One. I had never seen anything so compelling. You didn’t know the extent of how much people knew the game, the players, or how deeply they were fans. However, they seemed to be fully in by their excitement.

We visited the team store and bought some gear of our own. We were as caught up in the fervor as everyone else. As we made it to our seats, we were set with snacks and an incredible view. We took in every moment and cheered the Fever on through the ups and downs of the action. In the end, the team lost. We were hoping for a better outcome, but we were far from disappointed. The outcome never mattered. The time with Melanie did.

The entire time we spent together, I was reminded that we were surrounded by people moving . . . onward. The Fever had lost several of their players, but they still played with the intent of winning. They could have let their circumstances stop them. They could also have just put in little effort to compete. The fans could have chosen not to attend because the players they expected to see weren’t going to take the court. After the loss, the fans could also have sworn to never support the team again. I’m fairly sure that won’t happen.

How is it for you and others at work? How much of your day is spent stuck in the various circumstances you’re facing? When have you found yourself stagnant and unable to move because of all that life is handing you?

We need to move onward. We need to surround ourselves with others who will support and encourage us. The circumstances of life are always going to be unpredictable and unforeseen. There’s no escaping it. Moving forward through whatever comes our way is sure to be challenging. It may take time and concerted effort, but you can do it. You can.

Onward.

Impact

This past week, I had a truly humbling and surreal experience. I received a phone call (yes, a real phone call) from a dear friend who happens to be a fellow HR practitioner. We’ve known each other for many years through various volunteer leadership roles. After seeing each other with several other volunteers, we clicked. I know her, her husband and her daughter. She knows my wife and my kids as well. Anytime I see her name pop up on my screen, I’m eager to have a chat.

After we did our usual rounds of catching up, she told me she wanted to share an email she received from one of her HR team. She prefaced her statement by letting me know that I’d be brought to tears. That’s not hard for me. I’m a bundle of emotions on a daily basis. She asked me to read the email, and then get back to her.

One quick aside for context. My dear friend has been kind enough to get access for her team to view presentations from the annual conference because they all can’t afford to go. This investment in her team is amazing. She encourages them to pick sessions that stretch them, and she’s kind enough to ask them to watch my presentations. Back to the story of the email . . .

I couldn’t wait to receive the message and dive in. Once I heard the “ping” of my inbox, I quickly opened the email. Within a few paragraphs, the tears began flowing, wetting my cheeks. It was tough to finish the touching story through blurry eyes. Her team member said how much he appreciated the opportunity to watch sessions, and he had a “Steve Browne moment.” He stated how he appreciated my open emotions, being willing to be vulnerable in front of the audience, while exhorting people to be people-first as HR practitioners.

His “moment” was when he was coaching a person out on leave, going through a devastating illness. He listened, shared, and then wept with the employee. He told my friend that this experience validated why he was in HR !! He had not been in the field until a few years ago. His career had been in a different area of the company. He told my friend, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet Steve, but if I do, I’d shake his hand.”

I called my friend, still in tears. I said, “We should set up a virtual call and surprise your team member.” She was thinking the same thing. This past Monday afternoon, at the end of the day, she and her team member were on a Teams call. I joined in. He was floored, and so was I !! I told him how moved I was by his story, and that I was grateful he was a peer in HR. It tickled me that he was caught off guard and was a bit speechless. We had a wonderful conversation, and I made sure that he thanked my friend for modeling a people-first approach to life herself.

I share this story to bring attention to the Jane Goodall quote above. We need to realize we ALL have the opportunity to make an impact on the lives of others. We need to be cognizant of that. You never know how someone who watched a video took steps that affirmed being human in HR works. I’m crushed by this story. I’m also encouraged because we are the ONLY profession that works with every employee in our company. Today, and every day going forward, choose to make a positive impact . . . on purpose.

Lifecycles

I’m sure we all experience ebbs and flows at work and in life in general. We want to hit those peak times and hold onto them fiercely before they slowly wane away. The dry times seem like endless deserts that have no horizon. On top of this, we can run through a range of emotions within moments. Laughter to frustration. Anxiety to assuredness. Loss to joy. Add to all of these shifts and movements a common factor . . . people.

You see, the same constant movements we experience personally are magnified when we add others to our day. You can’t avoid it. Rarely do your peak times match the people you encounter. Everyone is always at different points of a continuum. Within that flow, we are expected to perform and excel individually and as a whole. It’s astonishing that work gets completed and accomplished when you take into account the infinite number of nuances that each person brings to each work situation.

The reason for this descriptive framework is that we effortlessly weave in and out of these waves. Sure, we may crash into a beach or an unseen reef below the surface, but those rarely keep us from moving through whatever we’re hit with. Almost every time . . .

The past two weeks have been challenging at work because we have experienced six deaths that were connected to our company. Two were recent retirees who had decades of service with us. One was a franchise owner who built and sustained a community tradition. And, three were immediate family members of current team members.

I share this for context. One aspect of being an HR professional for my entire career is that I get the privilege of going to funerals, visitations, memorial services, and celebrations of life. It’s never easy. It is always emotional. I was able to attend three of these recently, and one will soon be scheduled. The other two occurred before I knew they happened.

This isn’t common to have so many people passing in this short span of time. It was eye-opening because it caused me to reflect on a few observations.

The first is this. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s life and to take the time to see them when they experience a loss. To be able to share a few kind words, shed some tears, and give hugs of support is priceless. To let them know you’re there for them genuinely is the most human HR can ever be.

Secondly, we know very little about each other’s lives. Even though we’re together for many hours each week, we have surface-level relationships with most people. This isn’t a right or wrong statement. It’s just a fact. If we asked people, they would tell you that the majority of people are positive connections. We may know where people live, how many people are in their immediate families, and a few of their personal interests. It is human enough for us to be okay.

Thirdly, we don’t know that many people. When I’ve attended the gatherings to remember these wonderful lives, the rooms are filled with countless people whom I’ve never met. We generally feel that we have a significant number of others in our lives. It’s true when you consider family members, neighbors, past classmates throughout the years, and professional contacts. Even with that, you enter a funeral home or a church, and the majority of people attending are unfamiliar to you.

All of these observations brought me to a new conclusion. I have always thought that HR has the opportunity to be involved in an employee’s lifecycle – the time they’re recruited until the time they leave your company. These time periods could be short or extremely long. The new conclusion I have is that the lifecycle doesn’t end when people leave. It also includes being there when people’s personal lifecycle ends.

It’s been a sobering reminder that even though I may not know everyone I work with at some deep level, I can still provide an approachable, warm, caring, and understanding human connection for them on a daily basis. None of us knows when the transition of life will come. Therefore, we can’t waste one moment getting swallowed by the various ups and downs of how we feel about each other.

I think it’s more important to let others know you are always in their corner. Remember that you can be someone who provides consistency and hopefully a regular positive impact in their lives. This week, slow down the waves of highs and lows. Take time to be intentional. Make a lasting difference in the lifecycles of everyone you encounter. In the end, they’ll impact yours as well !!

Gimme Shelter

This past weekend, my wife and I broke out and took a trip. We love doing these because it gives us a chance to recharge, and also take in different locations throughout the country. We went to Elkhart, Indiana, to tour The Heritage Trail. It’s a great way to see several small midwestern towns and take in a ton of history. In addition to the tour, you’re in one of the largest Amish communities in the United States. Being around people who intentionally choose a faith-based way of life in a world that is vastly different than them is fascinating.

We enjoyed moving from town to town following an audio tour. It took us two days to complete visiting all of the sights because we stopped often to visit shops, taste the local fare, and make sure we took pictures of everything we could. We wanted to capture as much of our trip as possible for future memories.

Before heading home on Sunday, we decided to visit one more place – the RV/MH Hall of Fame & Museums. Seriously. You may not know this, but Elkhart manufactures 80% of the RVs in the whole country !! The place is massive. We made sure to read every placard and view the 60 historic RVs. It was fascinating to learn how this unique facet of Americana evolved over the years to allow people to travel differently. People were able to venture across every road and highway while being surrounded by nature.

We thought we were done with the museum when we remembered the MH side. MH stands for modular housing or mobile homes. I specifically wanted to see this because a mobile home is part of my background. My mom and dad bought a trailer while he was still in the Army during the Vietnam War. It was just the right size for them, my younger brother and I. Sadly, my dad passed away from cancer when he was 26. My brother and I were 4 and 2 at the time. So, my mom transported the mobile home from Columbus, Georgia, to Luckey, Ohio, where our extended family lived.

I had a very modest upbringing. I never knew that at the time. Living in a house that is basically one long straight line was my reality. As Debbie and I were walking through the historical mobile homes, I paused in shock. We were standing in one that was the exact design and layout of the one I grew up in !! I couldn’t believe it. I pointed out where we had furniture placed, and memories began to rush over me. I was overwhelmed. I walked outside and was breathless for a moment before I began to sob. The warm tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I caught myself, I explained to Debbie how this was my past, and how grateful I was that my widowed, young mother was able to provide shelter for us. It was almost too much to take in.

Ironically, Debbie and I have lived in the same two-story home since 1991. Our two adult kids never knew the challenge of moving like she and I had. We had both moved multiple times over the years and were thankful for some stability.

Now that it’s just the two of us at home, we find ourselves bemoaning that we don’t have enough space for storage of things we probably don’t need to hold onto (this is mostly me, to be honest). Or, we desire to have more expansive rooms to entertain. I’ve forgotten to be grateful for the shelter I have. I could not have something at all, and I’ve completely forgotten my modest beginnings in the 60 ft. x 12 ft trailer.

In that trailer, I only knew love, joy, warmth, and adventure. We had everything we needed and more. On our commute back home, I called my mom to tell her about going through “our” trailer. Tears welled up in my eyes once again as I was able to relive those times again with her.

We all need shelter. We all need to fill those shelters with relationships, care, understanding, and safety. I know that touring the RV/MH Hall of Fame may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, keep this in mind – taking the time to get away can lead to paths, experiences, and observations you’d never expect. It’s worth the time to make these treks. I’m so glad we did !!

Can I Tell You Something ??

As I sit down to type this post, I’m exhausted. My wife and I just returned from the SHRM Annual Conference in San Diego, and some time away we tacked on the back end of the event visiting San Francisco. We enjoy visiting places once we land in a destination. We do all we can to pack in as much sightseeing and local flavor that we can. The bookends of flying are always somewhat adventurous even if most things fall into place.

Each year I attend the annual conference, I am renewed and rejuvenated !! There is one primary reason for this rekindling, and that is spending time with my HR peers from around the globe. I’ve been going to the conference for 15+ years and have been fortunate to be a presenter at the last 11 years. I am geeked to see familiar faces, and get a jolt of energy if someone screams out my name, “STEVE !!!” from across a crowded hallway. There are countless smiles, hugs, and laughs shared from the moment I touch ground in each host city.

I know that I’m fortunate to have that occur. I don’t take it for granted. I also want those who attend to know that who they are and what they do matter to me, and to the lives of the people they touch. HR can be thankless work. This arena gives me the opportunity to gather people around, encourage them, and hopefully renew their interest in the industry that has been my chosen field for the past four decades.

The constant shining reality of what SHRM has always been about for me is the people. That has been true for the 25+ years I’ve been involved – through thick and thin.

Walking through the convention center in San Diego is daunting. It stretches on and on in one continuous line. Sessions happened in hotels that were at each end of the center as well as throughout the two floors of the center itself. I give you that mental picture as a framework for what occurred.

I get stopped often when moving through SHRM Annual. Having been a regular for some time, I’ve met thousands of people over the years. This year took on a whole new level of personalization that I wasn’t seeking or expecting. It’s humbling to me when people come up to me and share stories. You never know what you’re going to hear, and each one fills me with intrigue and anticipation. You see, if people are willing to take time to open up, be vulnerable, and share what’s on their hearts, then they will always get my undivided attention.

When I was stopped, the conversation usually began with, “Can I tell you something ??”

The stories shared often brought me to tears and left me speechless. I heard one after another from people who told me how they had been moved and affected by my presentations. Many told me they were on the verge of quitting HR, and then changed their minds. Others shared how they were just wandering the halls and unknowingly sauntered into one of my sessions.

I heard tales of how they bought toys for their office or for their staff after seeing the menagerie I travel with. They talked about how they found joy once again in being an HR practitioner.

I was shaken to my core. Often, I shared a hug and could barely squeak out a “Thank You” before I wept. Wave after wave of emotions hit me at every turn. I can’t capture in words how much these conversations mean. My favorite ones are people who confide they’ve seen me speak for several years but didn’t know if I’d be open to meeting them in person.

I assured each person that I’m a peer and just a guy in HR. I cherish the chance to meet anyone who’s willing to connect and share even the smallest hello.

If you’ve read my blog at all over the years, you’ve heard me state how important it is to connect as fellow HR professionals. I mean it. People who do good work are aching for someone to come alongside them. Each time I meet an old friend for a warm embrace or a new one for a handshake, I’m anchored.

This week, reach out to someone as an HR peer. Give them just a few moments of your time during your hectic week. Don’t worry about what to say, or what you’ll cover. Start simply with . . .

“Can I tell you something ??” . . . and watch what happens !!

Iron Things Out

We all have our morning routines. You need to because they set the tone for your day. For me, it starts with a hot shower to shake off the cobwebs, and then I meander down the hall to my wife’s craft room.

Her crafting laboratory is also where our ironing board is located. Every morning of my work week, I turn on this amazing appliance and iron my outfit. Since my daily attire consists of a paisley shirt and jeans, you wouldn’t think that this would be needed. I could skate by with pulling them off the hangar and throwing them on. Honestly, who would notice ?? (Don’t think that on some mornings when I’m dragging, this thought hasn’t passed my mind !!)

Taking a few moments to get prepared for the day ahead is calming. You can focus on getting ready. It allows me to adopt a great mindset to look forward to what’s ahead. I’m not much of a to-do list person, but I do like to contemplate what I think is possible. I know that it could change within a split second because I get to work with humans. We all desire for work to be steady and predictable, but it rarely is.

Each time I iron my outfit, I think of HR. You see, my pants and shirts are in a fairly good state, just as they are . . . with a few wrinkles. By adjusting the iron to the correct temperature setting for the clothes, I can press those wrinkles away so I look good and feel prepared to start my day with a positive look.

We need to think of working with others like ironing. They come to see us mostly good. They really are. We tell ourselves, though, that our job is to “fix” things because what they’re facing is in such a state that MAJOR action is needed. That is rarely the case. People come with a few wrinkles. They need someone who will assess what’s happening, set the right tone and temperature, then iron things out. You may need some steam to work on those deep wrinkles at times. The goal is to get people back in shape so they can perform their jobs.

We can’t fix people. It’s a myth that we continue to perpetuate. In fact, we reward people who are fixers. At times, I think we fall into the trap that they’re doing great work. Honestly, they’re shifting things around to come to a solid conclusion that eases the pressure that they probably started. These folks need more attention, and we need to step in to have those grounding conversations. They have talent and don’t have to keep approaching work as if everything is broken.

If we took this approach of smoothing out the wrinkles instead of being someone expecting to perform triage, then we wouldn’t be so frustrated and stressed ourselves. You see, we come to work with wrinkles too. It’s time for us to lay out our outfits. Let’s step back, calm down, and take a few moments to use our iron in our work. Trust me, it works !!

Leave Your Mark

My wife is incredible in many ways !! Yes, I’m biased and am good with that. She is very creative but she would deny that. She has a dedicated craft room in our house that has been her place to make things come to life. She has been a rubber stamper for decades. This hobby has resulted in countless handmade cards for birthdays, weddings, the birth of kids, graduations, and Christmas cards.

They are true works of art. I know many people who have kept every Christmas card she has made for years, and some put them out every year as part of their Christmas decorations. Debbie would tell you that she sees the ideas of others and recreates them. So, I’ll give her that. Let’s call her a structured creative. If you got to know her, you’d see that this description fits well. One of the many other amazing facets of her personality is her joy in structure. She has lists of things to do all over the house.

Every day I’m amazed that she chose to be with me because I represent the opposite of almost every aspect of how she approaches life. I tend to live in the moment. Very little surprises me, and I’m more comfortable adapting on the go. I’m creative as well, but I’d describe my methods as having flow, movement and involving a variety of styles. I like almost every iteration of how art is presented. I am comfortable if things are abstract, modern, distinctly drawn, or classical. Each one has its value.

Eight years ago, when my first HR book was completed, Debbie asked if I’d like to have bookmarks to give out to people. I was floored and excited at the same time. I didn’t know what we could come up with but I was in !! She upped my level of enthusiasm when she suggested we make tie-dye bookmarks. I couldn’t even conceive how this could be accomplished. I was tickled when I found out that we’d mix our creative approaches by using her rubber stamps along with alcohol-based inks to make the tie-dye patterns along with my idea of variety. We put the ink on transparency film (like what we used to use on overhead projectors).

We started to stamp the clear film cut into the perfect shape for a bookmark together. Debbie took one color of ink and dabbed the applicator before applying a beautiful, linear pattern on her piece of film. I took my applicator and put three dots of different colors on it and then smeared the ink all over my film. I continued to follow what felt right as she methodically constructed her set. When we looked up to pause, I had ten done and was moving forward when she commented, “How can you come up with patterns so quickly?” I shrugged and said, “I just see what I want to make and then try it.”

She then made a bright, executive decision. The step after the ink stamping was mounting the film on white, thick paper for backing and strength. She suggested that I continue with the stamping and she’d assemble them after that. Now, please note, her stamped bookmarks were stunning and crisp. We kept them along with my mish mash of variety, and I loved giving them out to people.

Since then, we made a new batch for use at the SHRM24 annual conference. We followed the process of a separation of tasks that we were both responsible for. Very quickly we had constructed 100+ bookmarks. I just found out that I’m speaking again at SHRM25, and I’m grateful for the opportunity. We just bought a new set of supplies and the manufacture of a brand new set of bookmarks will soon be started.

Let me back up just a moment . . .

More than a story of how we take different paths toward creativity, Debbie also had another stunning idea for making these handmade beauties. She said, “If people are nice enough to get one of your books, wouldn’t it be nice to leave behind a little bit of you for them to remember?” How freaking cool is that ??!!

You see, she wanted me to leave a mark. That thought was incredibly astute and she may not have even been aware of the weight of what she had suggested. It was so powerful because as people, we leave our mark on others every time we encounter them whether we mean to or not.

If you ignore someone or push them off to the side because you’re too busy for them, that leaves a mark. If you are pleasant to others to their face and change your story for how you feel with another audience, you leave a mark. When a task that isn’t yet completed takes more of your focus and attention than the people around you, you have left another mark.

We don’t see this or even acknowledge it. It’s time we did. Choose instead to be someone who leaves each interaction as one that is positive, encouraging and meaningful. Leave your mark in such a way that your impact makes their day better. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture. It can be something simple. Something . . . like a bookmark.

Get A Car Wash !!

I’ve lived in the Midwest for the vast majority of my life. I enjoy the four seasons. They’re never as equally balanced as one would hope but that’s okay. We’ve had one of the more robust winters this year that I can recall. We’ve had more snow, more arctic blasts, more ice, and more gray than normal. It’s funny to me that if we have a year where we don’t get much snow we wish we had more. Now that we’ve had a significant and lengthy winter we complain that it’s too much.

One of the side effects of a full winter is salted roads. The wonderful road crews do all they can to keep roadways clear. This is often daunting because the weather rarely cooperates in the manner it is predicted to. They lay down tons and tons of road salt to assist in melting the snow, ice, and slush. This mixture rarely stays on the roadway due to the volume of never-ending traffic. Vehicle after vehicle speed through the concoction which inevitably ends up encasing your car in a thick layer of white, brown, and mucky corrosive material. It’s as if your car is a blank canvas waiting to be plastered with the evidence of winter.

I have a long commute to work from my home. It takes anywhere from forty-five minutes to an hour plus depending on the volume of people joining me on the road. If you have construction or an accident along the way, the time only increases. Throw on top of this the various winter precipitation of snow, freezing rain, or sleet, there’s no telling how much time you’ll be behind the wheel. With my extensive commute, you can imagine how my car’s exterior starts to appear throughout the winter.

The below-freezing temperatures that held us in an endless grip for weeks on end only meant you couldn’t get your car washed. The dirt, grime, and sludge just grew in depth while creating an abstract painting that became a hardened shell. It becomes a nuisance because, even though I’m fortunate to have a garage at home, each time I try to walk around the car my coat and clothing get salt transfer. It only seems to stain or smear when you try to wipe it off. It never gets completely removed.

This weekend, the temperature sneaked just above the freezing point. I decided to chance it and get my car and my wife’s car washed. We have a local business just around the corner from where we live that does a great job. It’s an automatic, ever-moving chain that pulls your car through the various brushes and blasts of water and soap. When I pulled up, I saw that I was one of many who were trying to take advantage of their services as well. The trip through the car wash took less than two minutes. When I exited the building, I could swear I heard our cars sigh with relief. They were clean once again !!

A car that keeps moving through the mix of winter precipitation and road gunk is a lot like working in HR. One of the challenges of being in this field is that we get to experience and hear the dark side of work. This may include the various “life” situations people are facing or the general negative conversations that abound throughout the workplace. It can be, and is, draining. You hope for uplifting and encouraging conversations to be the norm, but they are unfortunately the exception.

I’m not trying to be a downer, and you need to understand that I am generally an overly positive person most of the time. However, even I get caked with layer after layer of road salt at work. It comes with the job and is as inevitable as taking a winter commute to and from work. If we’re not cognizant of our exteriors being constantly covered in road spray, then we too become encased in a hardened shell . . . and heart.

We need a car wash. We need to make sure to take a few minutes on a regular basis to wipe out the darkness that tries to envelop us. Too many others around us don’t see that they too are covered in their own blanket of dirt. When the majority of people start their days worrying about what is sure to go wrong, then you’re already facing an uphill battle. Lay on top of this a poor conversation in the hall, the emotions tied to senseless media and social media opinions with the pressures of performing, and you get folks who are buried.

It’s imperative that we’re more aware of the environment we’re in. We need to wash off whatever tries to hold us captive so that we can be at least one bright spot in the days of others. I’m not asking you to ignore the challenges and divisiveness swirling around us. I’m just encouraging you not to let it encompass or define you. It shouldn’t. Remember, a quick trip can wash away months and months of crud (that’s an official HR term by the way).

This next week, make time to get a rinse. You’ll breathe that sigh of relief as well, and it will allow you to move forward with confidence once again.

Wags

Recently, our family’s life changed for the better. I’ve often written about my incredible wife and our wonderful kids. I do that because so much of my life is intertwined with theirs. We have been very fortunate in the scheme of things. Sure, we’ve hit some bumps and continue to face challenges here and there. Overall, however, we enjoy each other and walking through the journey of life together.

We’re at that stage of life as a married couple where we get to help navigate our adults if they ask for our advice. We expect them to make good choices, and we’ve let them know we’re always available for counsel if that is what either of them need. Melanie has been living in Indianapolis, Indiana for over a decade now. She’s a leader in her role as an occupational therapist and purchased her own home. She’s felt a tug lately to get an addition to her household. Several of her friends have taken a similar step with various levels of success. Now she felt it was the best time . . . to get a dog.

She had been on a few sites to look for rescue dogs. She’s let us know about a few and asked our opinion. We gave her a list of things to consider such as cost, that you had to be available all the time for the dog and to look how she could continue to be active and social without being confined only to her house. There were a few wonderful dogs who didn’t quite make a match with her. That was disappointing and a bit frustrating but she pressed on.

Then, the call came for Melanie to meet Wags. He was in a situation where a family had too many dogs under one roof. They didn’t want to part ways but felt that if he had a great home, he could make the transition. The moment they met, she knew she had found her dog and he had found his person. Wags is three years old and soon to be four. He’s a sheepdoodle who was past the puppy stage, was house trained, and was very interested and comfortable with whomever he met. He is far more intrigued by other humans than other dogs. It seemed to be the perfect match.

The family who had Wags were very gracious. They gave Melanie a ton of his dog toys, food, a leash, and a harness. It was like visiting PetSmart and getting all the needed accessories all at once. Wags eagerly jumped into Mel’s Rav4 to travel to his new home. Once there, he explored each room and seemed to be comfortable. He made sure to stay at Melanie’s side. Wherever she went, he was quick to follow. Their bond was set.

When Melanie sent the news to our family group text, we were all ecstatic to hear this !! Our son Josh even declared that Wags was now his favorite family member. We weren’t surprised. My wife Debbie and I were geeked to become granddog parents. Last week, Wags, made the trek to visit our house in Cincinnati. Debbie had prepared as if we had a new grandchild. She purchased food, dog bowls, an accompanying mat for them to rest upon, and new toys for his home away from home.

When the mighty gray and white dog entered our home, he was instantly interested in meeting us. He skipped through each room of our house and then made sure to be back in the room with us. He loved his new toy pizza (you knew that was going to happen), and he never felt out of place. Melanie brought home Ally, a work friend, with her to visit. So, the following day Melanie and Allie took the opportunity to have adventures throughout Cincinnati. That was fine with us. We wanted to watch Wags.

When the girls first left, he sat at the back door and whimpered for several minutes. He missed his human. It was touching to see. When we were able to let him know that it was fine to be with us, he warmed up to play and run around. Unfortunately, I was not feeling well and was quite run down. That is not typical for me. I tried to push through and took Wags on a walk in a light mist. He couldn’t wait to explore and was a joy to walk with.

During our jaunt, he slowed down and rubbed his head on my leg. It was uncanny. He sensed I wasn’t feeling well and he was checking to make sure I was going to make it. When we returned to the house, I collapsed on the sofa. Wags jumped up behind the crook in my legs and laid down with his head on one of my legs. We took a two-hour nap together. It was amazing and I was grateful he was there to give me comfort.

The rest of Wags’ visit was wonderful. It helped both him and us get prepared for his next upcoming visit where we’re watching him for a week while our daughter goes out to visit our son in California. He has found a place in our hearts and our family.

I share this story because we all need people, or animals, who are there by our side just because. They aren’t asking for anything other than our interest and attention. It could lead to a friendship and that would be a bonus. In the meantime, it’s important to be wanted and for others to want you in return.

The world is full of people who are lonely. They could be in a room full of people and still feel desperately alone. This is true in our workplaces as well. That is why I want to continue to encourage you to be there for all of your people FIRST !! It is so much more important, impactful and lasting. Those connections and moments of your day may be exactly just what they needed.

I’ve already learned a ton from Wags. All he’s done is show up in our lives and give us his full attention, warmth, and interest. It’s a good example for all of us.