Category: Random Thoughts

One More Coffee . . .

It happened every week. I’d see his face pop up on my phone screen with his bright countenance and smile. At times, I couldn’t get to his call fast enough. Regardless, I’d hear, “ROOMIE !!! Fred. How’s it going? Good. Hey, let’s get together and have a coffee or an adult beverage. I know you’re busy, but I’d love to see you.”

It was like clockwork. I knew that Fred would always check in with me. We’d try to meet every once in a while when he was still working. Ever since he had retired, we had gotten together more often. I felt bad when I couldn’t meet with him due to work, travel, or other commitments. He always understood and remained undeterred. He knew we’d get together eventually.

Each time we met, we’d cover all of the important topics – faith, family, work, and of course, HR !! He always wanted to hear about my adventures speaking and what was still happening in the field. He’d listen to my stories, and we’d howl with laughter. It didn’t matter that others were seated around us. He would glow with stories about his wife, Karen, his daughters, Heather and Kim, and his grandchildren. He only said encouraging things about them. Also, he intentionally made sure to ask about my wife Debbie and our kids, Melanie and Josh. Always. He never missed it. Ever.

Our regular meeting place was a table for two in the back corner of Cavu Coffee. It’s an independent coffee shop. I dig the vibe and the staff whom I know most by name. I’d always make sure to get there a few minutes before Fred so I could make sure to buy his coffee. I cherished the time I had with him far more than any cost. We’d always order the same thing. I’d get a large black light roast, and he’d get a medium light roast – with room for cream. We’d wait at the counter and then saunter over to our table.

As Fred was ill and trying to recover from his recent back surgery, I told him he had to get better so we could get back and have another coffee. He smiled when I mentioned that and told me he would love to !! Every time I’d visit him, I’d tell him he needed to do what he could to recover because our coffee was waiting. Unfortunately, Fred’s health continued to wane. I went to see him last Sunday after church, and I knew that the inevitable was coming. The next day, Heather texted me and told me I needed to come quickly if I wanted to say goodbye. I left work early to go and sit by the bedside of my best friend.

As I talked to him, I told him about Debbie and the kids one more time. I prayed over him, told him I loved him, and that I was so grateful that he was such an integral part of my life. I told him that he still owed me a coffee. I bent over and kissed him on the forehead. He died on Wednesday. I was, and still am, crushed.

On Friday morning, I was at the door of Cavu Coffee as it opened at 6:00 am. Hannah greeted me as she usually does. I told her that I had a unique request. I wanted to buy two coffees – one large light roast and one medium light roast with room for cream. I went back to the corner table and had one more coffee with Fred.

It wasn’t quite the same, but I wanted to make sure to do this. You see, Fred provided something for me (and so many others) – deep friendship. He was an anchor in my life, and I knew I could count on him. Likewise, I did my best to be an anchor for him in return. My hope was that I would have had years and years to savor our coffees together. However, we aren’t guaranteed the time we hope will be in front of us.

I know there are too many people in my life who don’t have an anchor as I did with Fred. That shouldn’t be the case. With all that life throws at us, you need at least one other person who will ride alongside you no matter what you both face.

I’ve decided that I want to continue being someone who keeps my corner table open and welcomes anyone who’s willing to dive deep and develop a meaningful, truly lifetime relationship. I don’t want to miss anyone. I hope to be Fred for someone else – for years to come. Because, you see, there’s always time for . . . one more coffee.

Thank You for Being a Friend !!

When you hear the word “friend,” what comes to mind ?? I can answer this simply – Fred.

My best friend, Fred Eck, has been an integral part of my life for almost 30 years. He’s retired and happened to be in HR. I can’t adequately capture how much Fred means to me. He introduced me to his peers when I was just starting my career. He opened doors I didn’t even see.

He had been a trailblazer as a local SHRM chapter volunteer before I even knew what a chapter was. He held roles at the local and state levels. When he and I first started hanging out together, he introduced me to his peers who had also been trailblazers in their own right. He made sure I was included and fit in with this OG group.

I think the tipping point of friendship for us happened when we were both volunteering on the Ohio SHRM State Conference Committee. I had just started speaking at chapters and was about to speak at the State Conference for the first time. One thing to note – Fred and I both live in suburbs in northern Cincinnati. We’ve always been about 20 minutes from each other. So, we would carpool to meetings that happened in Sandusky, Ohio, which is 4 1/2 hours north of where we lived. During these treks, we never lacked in topics to discuss. Never. We’d both have a giant cup of coffee and some snacks as we took to the road before dawn. The conversations started the moment we were both strapped in.

Back to the conference . . .

My session was on Friday morning at 7:00am. We had been out with our crew for hours singing and enjoying a “few” adult beverages. About 2:00am, I tapped out, and I said, “I need to get a little sleep, or at least try.” Fred said he’d be in the front row. He rolled into our room about 4:30am. Champion. Guess who was in the front row helping me set up for my session at 6:45am ?? He was fully present, alert, and geeked to see me present. THAT is a friend !!

I could write a book filled with stories about our friendship. I nominated him for Mentor of the Year at our local chapter because I promise you, I wouldn’t have been the person I’ve become in the industry without him by my side. A few years ago, I was present when the Ohio SHRM State Conference named and awarded the first Fred Eck Committee Member of the Year award. He’s a force !!

Four weeks ago, Fred called me to let me know he was going to have extensive back surgery. He wanted me to know and asked for prayers. He knew I had him covered. I told him I would make sure to be there when he got out. The surgery went well, and I’m grateful. His recovery has been a lot tougher than he had hoped for. It’s very tedious and slow. He’s positive as ever, even though Father Time has taken a big chunk from the man I know and love. My wife and I have been able to visit him, and that will continue for as long as he needs. He’s always been there for me. I will always be there for him !!

I write this story for encouragement. Too many people in this world may have acquaintances, but few have friends. Seriously. You may have oodles of connections personally or on social media, but few of them cross over to deep relationships. That needs to change.

You see, I am a FIERCE friend !! If you choose to connect with me, get ready because I will pour into you as much as you allow. Like most people, I’ve had friends come and go over time due to various reasons of time, distance, or interests. I wish that wasn’t the case, but I don’t know how to stop that from occurring. I do my best to cultivate friendships often. I do this at work, in my church, in the community, and throughout HR. I ache when I know people don’t have close friendships.

So, let me leave you with two things: (1) You weren’t meant to go through life alone. You just weren’t. And (2) Be a friend first. Take the steps as Fred did, and step into the lives of others. Trust me, they’re yearning for it.

When I visited Fred this weekend, we shared LaRosa’s pizza (a Cincinnati tradition) and enjoyed an unhurried conversation. I look forward to the day when we can talk for hours and hours with ease once again. I’ll need to wait for that. As I left, Debbie took a picture of us together because that defines us. I shook his hand, told him I loved him, and that I’d continue to pray and shed a few tears. I hate seeing my friend suffer. He needed to know how thankful I am for his friendship !!

To keep the theme going, here’s a song that was great long before they used it as the theme for The Golden Girls. Andrew Gold captures friendship perfectly. Give it a listen !!

Your Legacy . . .

When I look over my life and career, I am humbled by the number of people I’ve been fortunate to meet. Some people you meet for mere moments. Others you have as part of your life for years. I tend to lose sight of this too often due to the constant hustle and bustle swirling around us. That shouldn’t happen. I don’t believe in chance encounters or fate. I believe the people who come in and out of our lives happen on purpose.

I’m feeling reflective because of some news I received in mid-December. I wanted to share my thoughts about this wonderful person at the time, but I needed to wait until her family made the news public themselves.

My dear friend, Sandy Manjura, passed away in mid-December. She and I are the same age, and it crushed me when I heard the news. Sandy and I met as volunteer leaders for our SHRM chapters. She lived in the Akron area, and I was in Cincinnati. The moment we met, our friendship started. She exuded genuine interest and energy whenever she met anyone. Fortunately, we connected and volunteered together for years through the Ohio State Council and the Ohio State SHRM Conference committee. When she was active in the Akron chapter, she invited me to speak to the chapter often. While there, she introduced me to tons of other great people who also became dear friends. I met her partner, Scott, as well as her wonderful black lab – Hoagy. Whenever I’d visit, we’d make time to catch up and talk about life, music, and changing the world of HR.

I cherished her friendship. As our volunteer roles changed and came to an end, we didn’t get to see each other as often. We’d go to State Conferences and pick up right where we had left off before. Sandy was a rocker !! She loved all forms of music and would listen to Iron Maiden while jogging. She was an avid golfer and lived life to the fullest. The world is a little less bright with her passing.

One of my favorite memories was when I was chair of the Ohio SHRM State Conference with the theme “HR Rocks !!” I had a surprise to open the conference and needed someone to help me get ready. The only two people I let in on my secret were my best friend and roomie, Fred, and Sandy. I was planning to dress up as AC/DC legendary guitarist, Angus Young, to take the stage, but I needed help getting all of my costume ready. Sandy was all in and helped me don his famous schoolboy attire. She kept lookout for me, and she whisked me backstage to get ready to bring down the house. Her words for me were, “This is perfection. Get out there and set the stage !!” We both wept a bit because it really was perfection.

I share her story for a couple of reasons. First, everyone should know my friend. If you had known Sandy, I know your life would have been impacted positively just as mine was. We should always share good stories about the great people in our lives while they live and celebrate them when they pass. Secondly, we need to know that we live out the Maya Angelou quote listed above, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

We can’t keep getting bogged down by the things around us that seem wrong. We can’t keep being distracted by those people in our lives who do all they can to drain our souls. The vast majority of humans on this planet are amazing once you choose to let them into your lives on purpose. They deserve our time and attention far more than those who try to tear others down.

I don’t want any person who passes through my life to be overlooked, taken for granted, or brushed off. I don’t know how long I’ll be on this planet, and neither do any of us. Therefore, it matters to give others my time willingly and without expectation. You never know. You may be THE person that someone needs to encounter just at the right time. You don’t want to miss that.

Sandy touched my life and the lives of many others. I will hold her in my heart and cherish her friendship and legacy. She rocked, and I was fortunate to have had her in my life. When I hear that next heavy chord emanate from a speaker, the first person I will think of is Sandy !!

Be a People Collector

The weather on Saturday was atrocious. The kind of weather where you don’t want to leave your house. You’d rather snuggle under a blanket and watch a movie or two. My wife and I had to put the pull of warmth and comfort aside to attend an event involving my extended family. It would take more effort because it involved a drive of over two hours. When I opened the garage door to get to my car, the wind caught my attention immediately. There were sheets of rain, making it even more blustery and miserable.

We were undaunted. We warmed up the car, I hung a sports coat up in the back seat, and we started our trip. After putting the address in the car’s GPS, we took to the road. I stopped to get a piping hot cup of Dunkin’ coffee to ensure I’d stay awake throughout the entire trip. The visibility was bleak. It was hard to see the road through the rain, and the road mist kicked up by the endless stream of semi trucks that flew past us on the highway.

We were travelling to a very small town in the center of the State – Thurston, Ohio. Neither of us had even been to this burg, but we were eager to get there. The road seemed to stretch endlessly with little to visually break up the miles. You felt like you were on a treadmill that kept spinning but never advanced. We made one pit stop to stretch our legs before venturing on. The entire trip to Thurston was uneventful, and we were grateful for that. We found that this little crossroads of a town was twenty-five minutes from any major highway.

We had to meander several miles of country roads until we came to the Thurston United Methodist Church. It was a very tiny church with an even smaller parking lot. There were cars taking up every possible space because everyone had come to celebrate the life of a family member who had passed. He was the father of my cousin. He’s technically a cousin-in-law. His wife and I are first cousins. My immediate family and the Thompsons are incredibly close. Not only are we related, but our kids grew up together. I babysat their four kids before Debbie and I had our own two kids. We wouldn’t miss this day.

The church was packed !! There wasn’t one open seat, and some people were standing in the back of the country church sanctuary. The service was traditional and filled with hymns I had sung throughout my youth. Ken “Fuzz” Thompson had lived a full life of 87 years on this planet. His daughter, Robin, and son (my cousin), Ken, shared words of remembrance. It was perfect.

A common thread that marked Ken’s life was that he was someone who instantly connected with other people. He would go out of his way to get to know you. He had an inviting demeanor, a quick wit, and was an attentive listener. You never felt like he was focused on himself. He was focused on you. During the service, he was described as a “people collector.” It was as if he were a magnet that attracted others while being humble and unassuming.

The packed church was evidence of this life well lived. When I paused to look around the room, I noticed Ken had passed on the art of collecting others to his son, who in turn had married a people collector. In fact, that describes the majority of people in my extended family. I have assumed this was a regular practice of people, but I know that it isn’t.

You see, the art of connecting with others isn’t to be self-serving or self-promoting. It’s an opportunity to make sure that people are seen, valued, heard, and encouraged. You invest your time and attention in them so they shine themselves. In fact, while Ken was nearing the end of his journey, he shared that the kids didn’t have to have a ceremony – he was fine. Then, he paused, thought about it, and said, “But you guys probably need one. You can do it if you’d like.”

The turnout of how his life impacted others in subtle, meaningful ways was evident. My hope is that you have a people collector in your life if you’re not one yourself. Life is more full, meaningful, and worthwhile when you do.

A Touch of Gray

The calendar has turned another page. Usually, when that happens, people express a series of resolutions they genuinely want to hold to. They rarely do. That doesn’t stop people from making them, though. A New Year always gives people a chance for a reset. A chance to pause, reflect, and decide what they’d like the next twelve months to be.

Once the year begins anew, I also turn another year older. My birthday is on January 3rd, and this year took a new turn. It’s wonderful when your friends and family send you birthday wishes. I’m humbled every time I receive them. My 87-year-old Mom called me early in the morning to sign “Happy Birthday” to me. It’s a tradition she and my dad, when he was alive, have done every year since I left the house 40 years ago. It warms my heart every time, and I look forward to hearing her sing it.

It’s intriguing to me when people ask what your plans are for your birthday. The intent is positive, and people want you to enjoy your day. Having a birthday so close to the holiday season makes it harder to plan something massive. And, honestly, I’m grateful to cross the age line once more as the most significant accomplishment. I didn’t have anything “planned,” but I did hope to have a great day.

My wife and I decided to really live on the edge and get our haircuts together. I know – truly adventurous !! We enjoy seeing Heather at her salon. We’ve known her for 29 years, so it’s like visiting family. Debbie went first because she needs more time than I do. When I took my place in the chair, I donned the black cape over my clothes and placed my glasses on the counter. Heather is always good for a rich conversation. We talk about countless topics, give updates about our kids, and make sure to laugh a lot.

As my hair became shorter once again, I looked down at the cape, and it was glistening !! You see, I’ve crossed over to the time in my life when my hair has grayed. This doesn’t bother me, and I don’t feel my age. My appearance is supposed to change. Now that I’m 62, I’d be surprised if I didn’t have a full head of gray locks.

Along with my shifting hair color, my body reminds me daily that time is moving forward. There’s more stiffness and the unexpected appearance of aches and pains throughout my body. Thankfully, my mind is sharp, and I don’t take it for granted. I don’t know if I ever thought about what it would be like if I reached this age, which is closer to my career ending than starting. I’ve never been concerned with whatever “age” is supposed to be.

Another year means an opportunity to remain curious. Another year is a chance to learn something new, meet people I’ve never met, encourage others to be their best, and take in as much life as possible. I’m not sure what will happen, and that doesn’t make me in the least bit anxious. I don’t have resolutions and never have. I believe in enjoying the present and being hopeful for the future, for whatever that may be. Please don’t mistake that for being naive or Utopian.

I’ve chosen (for most of my life) to be someone who sees the best in others and the situations I find myself in. Sure, there are challenges and times of disappointment. I will experience personal failures, and others will fail me. In the end, though, life is grand !! Now that I have more than a touch of gray, I want to do all I can to live each day to its fullest. I’m far from discouraged about aging another year; I’m fortunate.

How are you looking at this coming year? Are you seeing the best in yourself and in others? I know this may seem contrary to how most people view life, but trust me, it’s well worth it. I encourage you to move forward. Who knows? The best part of what’s to come could be lurking just over the horizon !!

To ease you into the future, here’s a tune that is an absolute fave of mine from an all-time legendary band. It just fits . . .

It Is Better to Give . . .

. . . to bless those who receive.

I know that’s not the exact quote, but I’d like you to hang with me for a few minutes to explain.

Next year, I will be starting my 40th year as an HR practitioner !! It is so hard to grasp this reality. My career started off with a flair, followed by a failure. I was so fortunate to begin my HR journey at a Fortune 100 company. They’ve been successful for almost 190 years. The challenge of my first role didn’t involve what I did; it was in regards to the culture. Now, you have to remember that when I started in HR, no one talked about company culture. No one. You were expected to go to work and accept things as they were. You would have never thought of questioning any aspect of a company’s culture. It was unheard of.

I learned the hard way that since I didn’t do well with conformity, I wasn’t long for this role. After 18 months, when I was presented with an opportunity to leave Cincinnati and move to a rural place and work in a manufacturing company, I chose to leave instead. Did I mention that I was young, arrogant, and narrow-minded at this time in my career ?? Did I also note that I didn’t have another job when I left my first HR job ??

I was sure that people would want to hire me right away because of my education and the experience I had just earned. I mean, it was an entire 18 months !! I was clueless . . . and unemployed. I jumped into the job search process right away. These were the days before the internet existed. I was unsuccessful. I had no nibbles or interviews. The time of my transition only expanded. It started to get pretty stark. I asked my parents for a loan so I could maintain my apartment and pay my bills. I took a part-time job with friends doing landscaping at minimum wage. And, my girlfriend at the time (who has now been my wife for 36 years), stood by my side and bought me groceries. I couldn’t afford even the basics.

To say this experience was humbling doesn’t adequately describe what I was going through. I never thought that I’d be in a place where I would lose everything and not be able to get out of it. I was so grateful for those who gave to help me. I’ve never taken it for granted since.

I was able to find another HR job after 13 months. 13 months. My view on life and work had forever been altered . . . for the better. I now appreciated that I had the ability to work. I was more mindful and thankful for those I worked with. I understood that life could change in a moment, regardless of who you were or what job you held.

Back to today . . .

People are feeling the need to be givers at this time. The challenges in the economy and the recent government shutdown have touched people’s hearts. Giving has grown dramatically. People are willing to give what they can to help others in need. It’s just like when I was in need myself.

Yesterday, I was participating at a Food Drive for a local mission. I’m involved with them as a Board Member, and my wife volunteers there. I only mention this because of an encounter I had at the event. I saw a familiar face as we were talking to people coming to Kroger. He said, “Hey, I see you at the door greeting me and my wife at church !!” I said, “I’m Steve, and you are?” He replied, “I’m Doug. My wife Joyce and I have been coming for a few months. I’d like to do something a little more than this, but I won’t have everything purchased by the time you wrap up here today.”

“No problem,” I stated. “Just bring whatever you’d like to church tomorrow, and I’ll take it from there. I’ll be going to the Mission on Monday afternoon for a meeting, and I’d be glad to take your donation there.” Sunday came, and Doug met me at the door. “Can I put what we got in your car?” he asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll meet you in the back parking lot.” He pulled around, and my jaw hit the ground when I saw what he wanted to give me. The amount of food he and his wife had purchased filled the back of my car !! I thanked Doug profusely and mentioned that what they gave would bless those who would receive it.

This isn’t about how much you do or don’t give. I want to encourage you, though, to be someone who gives regularly. You pick where you want your giving to go. This isn’t only about material items either. We all can give our time as volunteers, people who can serve on boards, or people who can lend a hand to someone in need. I learned first hand about how other’s willingness to give helped me at the time I most needed it.

Your giving will do the same. Take a moment and see what you can do. Choose to move forward and not be idle. Whatever you can do will matter. It is better to give . . .

Gimme Shelter

This past weekend, my wife and I broke out and took a trip. We love doing these because it gives us a chance to recharge, and also take in different locations throughout the country. We went to Elkhart, Indiana, to tour The Heritage Trail. It’s a great way to see several small midwestern towns and take in a ton of history. In addition to the tour, you’re in one of the largest Amish communities in the United States. Being around people who intentionally choose a faith-based way of life in a world that is vastly different than them is fascinating.

We enjoyed moving from town to town following an audio tour. It took us two days to complete visiting all of the sights because we stopped often to visit shops, taste the local fare, and make sure we took pictures of everything we could. We wanted to capture as much of our trip as possible for future memories.

Before heading home on Sunday, we decided to visit one more place – the RV/MH Hall of Fame & Museums. Seriously. You may not know this, but Elkhart manufactures 80% of the RVs in the whole country !! The place is massive. We made sure to read every placard and view the 60 historic RVs. It was fascinating to learn how this unique facet of Americana evolved over the years to allow people to travel differently. People were able to venture across every road and highway while being surrounded by nature.

We thought we were done with the museum when we remembered the MH side. MH stands for modular housing or mobile homes. I specifically wanted to see this because a mobile home is part of my background. My mom and dad bought a trailer while he was still in the Army during the Vietnam War. It was just the right size for them, my younger brother and I. Sadly, my dad passed away from cancer when he was 26. My brother and I were 4 and 2 at the time. So, my mom transported the mobile home from Columbus, Georgia, to Luckey, Ohio, where our extended family lived.

I had a very modest upbringing. I never knew that at the time. Living in a house that is basically one long straight line was my reality. As Debbie and I were walking through the historical mobile homes, I paused in shock. We were standing in one that was the exact design and layout of the one I grew up in !! I couldn’t believe it. I pointed out where we had furniture placed, and memories began to rush over me. I was overwhelmed. I walked outside and was breathless for a moment before I began to sob. The warm tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I caught myself, I explained to Debbie how this was my past, and how grateful I was that my widowed, young mother was able to provide shelter for us. It was almost too much to take in.

Ironically, Debbie and I have lived in the same two-story home since 1991. Our two adult kids never knew the challenge of moving like she and I had. We had both moved multiple times over the years and were thankful for some stability.

Now that it’s just the two of us at home, we find ourselves bemoaning that we don’t have enough space for storage of things we probably don’t need to hold onto (this is mostly me, to be honest). Or, we desire to have more expansive rooms to entertain. I’ve forgotten to be grateful for the shelter I have. I could not have something at all, and I’ve completely forgotten my modest beginnings in the 60 ft. x 12 ft trailer.

In that trailer, I only knew love, joy, warmth, and adventure. We had everything we needed and more. On our commute back home, I called my mom to tell her about going through “our” trailer. Tears welled up in my eyes once again as I was able to relive those times again with her.

We all need shelter. We all need to fill those shelters with relationships, care, understanding, and safety. I know that touring the RV/MH Hall of Fame may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, keep this in mind – taking the time to get away can lead to paths, experiences, and observations you’d never expect. It’s worth the time to make these treks. I’m so glad we did !!

Bear Hugs !!

I don’t know about you, but I love a big hug. I’ve always been very comfortable with hugging others. To me, this is a way to show that someone else matters in your life. I’m about to go to the SHRM Annual HR Conference at the end of this month where I’ll see many friends I’ve made over the years. Even though there will be around 20,000 people milling around every inch of the convention center, I’ll make sure to stop and give out hugs willingly.

My immediate and extended family have always been huggers too. When we started to get older and spouses were introduced to the family, they were sure to be enveloped in multiple hugs whenever we got together. This is something we’ve instilled in our kids, and they in turn have kept hugs going with their friends. Whenever we see the friends of our kids, hugs are a given each time.

A few weeks ago, this show of affection took on a whole new meaning. I had an opportunity to be involved at Kids Camp at our church in a unique way. Each year, when we have camp, they have someone as the mascot. This mascot gets kids excited, and they get to roam free to meet with and interact with everyone. I was asked if I’d be this year’s mascot, and I jumped at the chance.

You see, the mascot was Grizz, a 7 foot tall bear !! I filled out the costume better than others since I stand at 6’4″. When I tried on Grizz for the first time, I was good. The suit has an internal fan that blows it up so that you’re not even close to touching the edges. What I didn’t know was that walking would be a challenge because my stride would be cut in half. It looked like I was shuffling, which took concerted effort.

On top of this, your only vantage point of viewing anything was a small, clear circle at the end of Grizz’s nose. It was about a 3-inch diameter. So, without any prior knowledge, I was kind of trapped in this suit. I was led around every step of the way by my amazing wife. She gave constant caring directions like, “Take two more steps straight. Now, turn left. Keep walking. Wave to someone on your right.” I was completely at her mercy, and without her, I was lost.

The first night Grizz made an appearance, the kids were a bit standoffish. They were overwhelmed by his size. They would wave cautiously from a distance. I understand that. It’s a giant bear that doesn’t talk, and you’re not sure who’s inside or if the bear is real. The night was challenging for Debbie and me too. We were figuring out how to maneuver, and the suit even deflated with me in it because the battery failed. I freaked out a bit !!

On night two, we hit our stride. We had a new, large battery that I carried in a backpack. Walking to and fro seemed easier as well. Debbie led me out to Grizz’s cabin at the beginning of the night. It was then that the tide turned.

The same kids who were scared and cautious the night before now screamed out my name and ran headlong into my arms. You’d hear a muffled “GRIZZ !!” followed by a soft thump up against the costume. They started talking to me, telling me stories, and making sure that I saw them. I gave out so many bear hugs that I was overwhelmed !! No kidding. As I was experiencing hug after hug, I wept inside my grizzly facade while laughing with joy at the same time.

Throughout the week, the kids became more and more comfortable. I would visit classrooms and walk throughout camp, receiving hug after hug. The end of camp was bittersweet because I knew I’d no longer put on the cumbersome bear. However, knowing that I was able to connect with so many people (including adults), filled my bucket for sure.

I wanted to share this story because I know many people who could use a hug. Too many people are struggling with a variety of life issues. Chances are they’re walking near you or working next to you, and you’re not even aware of it. This pulls at my heart.

I know that it’s not always possible to give a physical hug to people. You should always respect people’s personal space. You can, however, give a kind word, encourage someone, or slow down to listen to what’s going on in their lives. You can give an emotional hug with little effort. People are aching. You may be aching !!

Don’t just walk by someone indiscriminately this week. Pause and notice the wonderful folks around you. Give them a bear hug of some sort. It may be just what they need !!

Game Night

We have been experiencing a historical period of rainfall in Cincinnati, Ohio. We have had inches and inches of rain over the past week. That has led to staying indoors because you really don’t have a choice. All we have been doing is literally watching the grass grow !!

Like many families, we spend too much time on screens. It doesn’t matter if it’s a laptop, a phone or a TV. Images and sounds are constantly bombarding us rendering us nearly immobile. Sure, our brains are being stimulated, but our bodies are stuck in a constant state of being sedentary. I’m not making these observations to be judgmental. Far from it. I enjoy screen time as much as anyone. However, it also loses its luster.

A fellow couple gave us a ring because they were feeling trapped in their house as well. They asked if we wanted to go to music trivia at our local watering hole on Friday. We had made plans to go to a small group potluck on Friday that included some games to be played, so we had to pass. We really wanted to see them so we asked what they were doing Saturday. They were geeked to come over then, so Debbie and I started planning.

We threw together a crockpot of Kickin’ Chicken Chili which has become a family favorite. We also planned to have cornbread muffins to soak up the chili, and topped off the dinner with a batch of homemade monster cookies !! When Todd and Kristy rang the doorbell, Debbie and I were grateful to see our friends.

Dinner was filled with laughter and slow, unhurried conversation. We always enjoy our time with our friends. Before we broke out the homemade cookies, we all gathered around our dining room table for a rousing game of dominoes. Playing Mexican Train is a family tradition for my side of the family. We have a set of dominoes and we’ve purchased sets for our daughter and son. We’ve even bought them and given them as wedding presents. They’re a hit with everyone !! On top of this, my uncle is a master woodworker. He made trays to hold the dominoes which we love to use.

Now, you need to realize that if you play a full game of dominoes, you had better not have any additional plans. To get through all of the rounds, you end up playing the game for two to three hours. We completed a full game on Saturday night and didn’t feel we had been together for such an extended period of time.

Slowing down, disconnecting from screens, and relishing time with friends always leaves us refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on whatever comes the following day. When you remember that we were wired to be curious and play as humans, then game nights like this seem natural. In fact, you get the urge to have them more often because they are so much more fulfilling than just taking in a streaming series.

What’s key to this game night (and the ones that are sure to be planned in the future) is that we had time to do it. Hours of time !! All of the multiple distractions that try to vie for our attention are still present, but they are pushed away to allow you to breathe and enjoy the time you have instead.

This week, get in touch with some friends. Open the closet or visit the shelf you have that is crammed full of games. Pull a few out and start playing. I plan to have more friends visit as we continue to play more often. Add a dinner, a dessert or even a few drinks. You have the time. You always have. Use that time to play during your game night !!

Stay Connected !!

This past week we celebrated Thanksgiving. Of all the holidays we get to celebrate, the focus of this one is highlighted by people gathering together. I was fortunate to celebrate the day, and the weekend, with my mom, daughter, and wife. Our daughter was the host. She did a spectacular job making a turkey, getting tickets so we could all see the movie Wicked, and sharing her welcoming home !!

While we were there, our son called in from California, and we chatted as a family for almost an hour about all facets of life. As soon as we ended that call, my brother called from Tennessee to send his family’s Thanksgiving wishes and share their plans. Later, one of our daughter’s friends came over for a game night where we competed and laughed. The connections didn’t stop there. When I got up early that morning, I made sure to reach out and connect with HR friends around the globe through GroupMe, WhatsApp, Twitter, and BlueSky. The messages flew back and forth with ease as people wished each other well.

Earlier in the week, I also reached out to a dear friend who had moved to Atlanta a few years ago. We hadn’t talked for far too long, and that didn’t sit well with me. I wanted to make sure he and his family were doing well and fortunately, they were. During this same time frame, I heard of a friend who lost her father, a cousin whose husband is critically ill, and one of my aunts who is coming to the end of her life.

I share these examples because I am grateful for the people I’m connected to. They aren’t mere acquaintances. They’re people who make my life richer. This only scratches the surface. I didn’t include the people I get to work with, the people I go to church with, friends around the city, or the people I am connected to around the globe through various HR platforms. The number of people in my life is not the focus – the importance of being intentionally connected is.

Too many people in the world today are isolated. With the devolution of social media into various camps pitted against each other, I am concerned. I feel many people have decided to withdraw, and they may be disconnected altogether. If you choose to no longer be active on social media platforms, that is fine. However, becoming isolated is not.

Staying connected is an imperative that should be a priority for all of us. If you see someone who is not connected, take a few moments and reach out just to check-in. That simple act may be the one thing that grounds someone once again. People were created in order to create and maintain relationships. We weren’t designed to be alone.

I realize that the holidays may give us the spark we need to connect. My encouragement to each of you is to be someone who chooses to stay connected all the time with others. Yes, it takes an investment of your time. Yes, it weighs on you emotionally. And, yes, it can be challenging. But know this, every connection you make will impact a life positively in ways you may never see. You may be just the right person at the right time that someone needs. Stay connected !!