Simple is Hard

This past week, I was fortunate to return to the speaking circuit for the first time in 2024. Whenever I get to speak to a group of my HR peers, my bucket is instantly filled. I never take it for granted. As soon as the obligatory speaker introduction ends, I can hit the first slide, and time seems to disappear.

I can feel the energy of the room ramp up when I introduce a few of the concepts I wanted to cover during my time. You see, I believe in and have practiced a stripped-down version of HR throughout my career. When I began practicing several decades ago, it wasn’t even called Human Resources it was Personnel. What was interesting was the old name of the field was a more accurate description of how most of the work was done. It was impersonal distant and heavily process-driven.

People are probably reading this and screaming that little has changed. That may be true in pockets or in companies that don’t value HR. I hate to hear that. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me after presentations sharing that they are faced with roles that still value the Personnel approach. Interestingly enough, there is this constant push to rename and rebrand the profession yet again. Instead of focusing on doing good work with people, we’re worried about what we’re called as an industry. I really am not concerned with what HR is or isn’t called as long as we try something that works.

Great HR is best when it is simplified. When we strip back the layers of the muck that have been built in over the years we make true progress. We thought our purpose had been to continue to build system upon system, process upon process, and policy upon policy. The more we wrote and implemented, we assured ourselves that our work and relationships with people would go smoothly. We have tricked ourselves into believing that we can have the perfect model with a set number of prescriptive steps to refer to for any situation we face.

There are still speakers, books, blogs, and podcasts that propose this ineffective and archaic belief system. Isn’t it ironic that if we only needed one true system then there wouldn’t be the need for any others? Have you stepped back to consider that?

Simplifying HR is needed because people are complicated. Each individual on this planet is unique. They can’t be, and shouldn’t be, crammed into a box of any sort in order to comply and conform. But, as Martin Scorcese so aptly stated, “Simple is hard.” You think it would be just the opposite. However, creating more and more and more layers of do’s and don’ts (mainly don’ts if we were honest) is easy. Having the discipline to keep things simple and not allow the layer building to occur takes considerably more effort.

The key to understanding here though is this – Keeping HR simple allows you and your employees to thrive. You have to trust me that you unleash more of the inherent talent people want to bring to work if you focus on allowing them to perform. How that looks where you work is up to you.

This is the baseline message of almost every talk I give. I’m out to deconstruct the past in order to build up the profession. Pulling the layers back and eliminating them reveals amazing people who have been there all the time. We just haven’t seen them because we’ve been lulled to sleep doing work building matrixes.

This week find one thing to strip back. Just one. The next week find two to three more and so on. Have faith and know that simplified HR can work for you. Taking these steps will be far more impactful than building the next great initiative. Enable the people you have working at your company to perform. You’ll find when you do this, they will.

Be a Care Partner

Throughout life, you are sure to encounter various challenges. We don’t desire that but you have to be realistic. Life wouldn’t be life without challenges. This past week, my wife and I started to face our most recent one.

I mention my wife often in my writing because I am so fortunate to have her in my life. As a couple, we balance each other. I tend to be outspoken, gregarious, eager to meet strangers, and someone who questions rules. She is stable, thoughtful, enjoys rules and structure, and warms up to people after meeting them a few times. There are other facets of our personalities that you could categorize as opposite – and that works for us.

She has always been supportive of my drive to be creative and always on the go just in case I can meet someone new. If I were someone who chose to spend their life with me, I’d wonder at times what I signed up for. On the other hand, she brings order and peace, which is incredibly attractive !! So, when she had knee replacement surgery last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to take care of her once again.

I say “again” because, in the past, she’s had extensive foot surgery, two shoulder surgeries, and now a knee. She’s decided to become bionic which is keeping her healthy and will give us more years to do life together. (One quick note, I read every blog I write to her before I publish it. She knows the topic and we aren’t breaking any HIPAA privacy rules.) Everything went smoothly and was successful. I was amazed that something so major is now an outpatient procedure !!

We came home and got her set up to start the road to recovery. I am there to assist her with actions she normally would do on her own. When I mentioned that Debbie was going to have surgery in my men’s group, I said, “I get to be her caregiver.” One of my friends corrected me. He said, “Be a care partner because you’re in this together.” That truly struck me.

Being a care partner is such a different perspective because it’s not one-sided and reminds you that more than one person is involved. This doesn’t lessen the challenge you both face, but it gives you more confidence that you can be a team to work through it together. It’s only been a few days into recuperation, but we’ve been taking the care partner approach and it’s made a huge difference.

While Debbie has been resting, I had time to contemplate. As a “partner,” you find yourself focused on others which runs contrary to what the world expects. We’re taught to be fiercely independent and stand on our own. However, I believe we are wired to be present and empathetic to others – always. This is true when you’re given the chance to care for a spouse, a partner, a parent, a child, a friend, a relative, and even a stranger.

You can be someone who chooses to care instead of being someone who chooses to avoid or deflect. We really don’t know what’s going on in the lives of the people we work with. Rarely do people take the time to be that open or vulnerable. I’m not calling for people to be more open, but I am encouraging you to be more mindful that EVERYONE you encounter has some form of “life” going on at every moment.

Acknowledging this will change your approach and lead you to be more caring and empathetic. In fact, it’s needed if you want to lead effectively. Self-centeredness only ends up tearing people apart. I’ve tried to be someone who models empathy and care at home, at work and everywhere I’ve been connected to other people. I was fortunate to see this modeled by my parents and extended family. It’s what I’ve known and what I hope to show and see in others.

This week look around to see where you can become a care partner. The opportunities are there. Step in, lend a hand, and see how those relationships grow and move forward !!

What’s Next ??!!

This Wednesday is the next milestone I am fortunate enough to experience in this journey we call “life.” I’m turning the clock over to another decade !! Now, I understand that aging isn’t exactly an accomplishment. Time moves forward whether we want it to or not. However, in my family line reaching 60 is an accomplishment !!

My biological father passed away at age 26. His brother passed away in his early 40’s and his other brother made it to his late 60’s. Therefore, I am truly grateful when I get to start yet another year roaming the planet.

What does the next decade hold? I honestly don’t know, and I’m comfortable with things being unknown. I’m relatively healthy and active. Work has never been this exciting, robust, and creative !! My wife and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage in October, and our adults are successful as they learn how to live their lives and careers.

I’ve never been a person who had to have the next steps of life planned out or predetermined. The truth is when things are overly scheduled and structured, I get a bit itchy. I am far more comfortable with spontaneity and going with the flow of whatever presents itself. Ironically, my approach to life makes my wife itchy. That’s one of the many reasons we’ve been successful as a couple. We balance each other in almost every aspect of our lives together.

I do know this. I am going to continue to look forward to what’s next. I do this with anticipation, curiosity, joy, and positivity. I don’t really see another option. I know that I’ll meet new people in the coming years. I know that I’ll get to visit and explore different areas of the world, and I hope to get to meet and connect with more HR peers. I’m sure that I’ll make that transition from work to retirement sooner rather than later. That only means new adventures are just around the corner.

I know these exciting opportunities will present themselves because in looking back over my prior 59 years, I cherish the amazing things that have already happened. I never thought I’d ever be an author growing up, and now I’ve written three books. I could never have imagined speaking in front of any group, and yet I’ve taken the stage to speak to thousands of people. I never anticipated I’d find the love of my life and be blessed with two amazing kids. And yet, we continue to enjoy each other as time marches ahead.

I couldn’t have understood that I was led into the field of Human Resources which has fit me like a glove for my entire career. I’ve been fortunate to connect with peers from every type and size of industry around the globe. Literally !! I’ve had the opportunity to work with and impact thousands of employees for 37+ years. How amazing is that?

Not one of these experiences was part of a wish list or a vision board. (remember those?) I also don’t think that my life is a series of happenstance. I’m a man of faith and I trust that whatever comes throughout my life happened on purpose.

So, what’s next ?? I’m not sure, but I’m geeked to see how it all plays out.

The Reality of Rest

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a person who is on the go most of the time. Activity fills my bucket. I have a driving urge that my next experience is going to be an adventure !! I’m not talking about something grandiose either. Meeting a unique person in a shop in a small town. Having an encounter with a stranger that turns out to be unexpected and interesting. Working on our daughter’s house to repair, paint and give it her touch. The list can be endless.

I eagerly enter each day with anticipation that something amazing is sure to occur. I know. This sounds naive and superficial. I can assure you it’s not. Ever since I can remember, I have seen life as robust with opportunities to look around the next corner at something completely new. Always being on the go has a price though . . .

I’m not good at resting. Never have been. This endless yearning of wonderment runs counter to slowing down even for a moment. I tend to collapse even after a full day at work. The energy I try to pour into others while also getting them to see life from a brighter perspective is exhausting. I’m not complaining. I’d have it no other way. I just want you to know that the science of expending energy affects me greatly as I’m sure it does you.

Most people I know collapse or burst. They either run themselves into the ground with countless tasks they attack and at times accomplish. Or, they sprint as if there is no end to a race and then explode emotionally. This results in a few days off either from your body slowing you down because you won’t pay attention or a mini vacation just to remove yourself from the hectic pace.

Bursting is as unhealthy as collapsing. We convince ourselves this isn’t the case and we tell ourselves that our company, department, project, etc. would surely fail if we weren’t constantly diligent and present. I fully believe in self-worth and self-assuredness in life. However, if we delude ourselves into feeling we are indescribably valuable, then we lack the most important “self” – self-awareness.

This weekend, I decided to be intentional and embrace the reality of rest. I put down my phone, went out with my wife and friends to music trivia and some drinks, and even slept in on Saturday morning !! All day Saturday, I limited my activity and drive to always do something. That resulted in watching a movie, getting some ice cream after making dinner in our Instant Pot, and even squeezing in a nap. Just one day of slowing down helped me mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Today I went to church, washed our cars, and sat down to write this blog. Limiting my activity didn’t hurt one bit and as far as I can tell, the world is still spinning. I was on social media but barely. Later, I plan to pick up a book and read or even start a puzzle without a screen in sight.

People are still milling around and falling into the trap that hustling and running is a needed component in today’s society while I chose to rest. We can’t advance the cause of well-being if we don’t take care of ourselves. Rest is needed SO we can get back in, stay active and thrive.

This week break the pattern of collapsing or bursting. Encourage others to do the same throughout your family and your workplace. Build in rest. When you do, you’ll see you actually have more energy and time than you expected !!

The #HRCarnival – Shedding Light !!

I’ve been a big fan of the Carnival of HR for years. For those of you who are unfamiliar, each month people submit blog posts to share their thoughts and content for all to enjoy. Sometimes there are themes and other months are purely a curation of great HR blogs/articles.

As the host this month, I wanted to have a theme. When you look around the world, it can seem challenging, bleak, and unyielding. It feels like a cover of darkness is always trying to envelop all areas of life and work. I, however, have been someone who believes that people can shed light to make the darkness disperse. So, I asked people to chime in and contribute their perspectives on how they chose to do this. Enjoy the following submissions and make sure to reach out and connect with each of the authors.

Jared Narlock encourages us to recognize that we can make time for Courage, Grace and Kindness.

Jonathan Segal shows how a great distraction can give us much-needed balance. White Lotus: What’s Work Got to do with It?

Michelle Harte channels her inner Ed Sheeran and the power of supporting each other in Celestial (You Make Me Feel).

Nicole Roberts nudges us all to give back to others in the HR and Business space by Giving A Hand Up.

James Dean encourages people to make sure you’re choosing to watch and consume positive content with Shining a Light On . . . Social Media.

Jessica Beck shares a wonderful story about her Grandfather and the power of A Cool Drink on a Hot Day.

Mary Kaylor shares the good work of Jordan Quigley who she works with at Robert Half on the Search for Empathetic Leaders.

Meghan Brown has a truly uplifting post that shows us how we can Shine Bright This Holiday and Always.

Christie Engler talks about how much she enjoys gifts and wonders what gift(s) HR can give others in 2023 in Presents Are My Favorite.

Andrew Bull helps with the combination of reality and expectations of Team Performance.

John Baldino channels Sir Paul McCartney about the power of Coming Up – Joy at Work, Home and Within Self.

Jamie Bearse gives us a broader perspective by reminding us that HR Alone Can’t Create a Great Culture.

Steve Williamson asks us to consider we may have more impact than we think in Is Inspiration Your Secret Power?

Angie Redmon has put together a great set of approaches for HR leaders with End of Year Tips and Ideas.

Scott Leiper brings a ton of energy, creativity and a dash of Warren Zevon with Enjoy Every Sandwich.

Baskaran Ambavalan wraps up this Carnival with a fantastic list of suggestions for HR Priorities for Success in 2023.

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Thanks to everyone who participated in this final HR Carnival of 2022 !! Great work and great people.

I hope everyone in HR and the global HR Community chooses to be people who shed light next year every. single. day !!

Living a Legacy

This past weekend I experienced one of those milestone moments in life. My father passed away in October of 2020, but we didn’t have the opportunity to bury him at that time. That was because both of my parents decided years ago to donate their bodies to science. So, my dad first went to Wright State University then he was cremated. The pandemic then threw the proverbial wrench into this situation just as it has everything else. His headstone was delayed and we weren’t sure when we’d have the chance to celebrate him one more time.

We were fortunate to have spectacular weather and my family was all able to come home to be with my mom to support her. We traveled a mile outside of town and all gathered around his final resting place. The blue skies, billowy white clouds, and bright sun added to the peaceful breeze and covering shade under a mighty oak combined for the perfect setting for our graveside ceremony.

I was grateful to be able to be in this “final” goodbye. My dad was incredible and lived a full life. I miss him but have been at peace since 2020 with his passing. That was because he lived his legacy far more than “leaving” one.

He taught me the power of honesty, integrity and being intentional with everyone you meet and in all you do. He lived his faith publically and showered love on my mom every moment of every day. He filled our lives with humor, folksy sayings, and steadfastness you could always rely on. He was always in my corner and a ready sage to give advice, direction and encouragement.

All of these attributes have been woven into how I approach life now. Every interaction we had was a chance to teach, impact and shape me. He modeled life in how he’d like to see it in others. He never lectured, he showed. His approach was to work alongside you. Sure, we tussled, disagreed and even argued over things. It never got in the way of our relationship. It enhanced it because I always knew he loved me no matter how heated moments got.

You see, over the history of humankind a minuscule percentage of people made such a historical impact as to have had a visible and lasting “legacy.” We know their names and their contributions whether they were positive or negative. They may have attained some level of notoriety or celebrity, or their contributions affected large sections of society.

I’m not saying that you could be one of those people, but most likely you will not be. That shouldn’t inhibit you from being like my dad. You can live your legacy every day. We need to realize that we encounter people for a short period of time when we consider the times we truly cross paths. Since that is our reality, why not leave a positive mark when you meet?

If we’re honest with each other, it only takes a small situation for us to become frustrated and say things that are harmful or destructive. Someone could cut you off in traffic or not move fast enough in line. They could let you down with what they’d say they’d do or their approach is just different than you when you work together. Those negative emotions just come out and when we react, we say things we didn’t need to. It’s hard to fight back and not fall into this trap.

We have the opportunity to be more mindful. Knowing that each interaction leaves an impression may influence us to react differently. I want to be someone who lives in a manner that is intentional, positive and encouraging. When I fail others, and I will, I want to show grace and ask people to forgive me when I get frustrated or disappoint them.

I want to be someone who lives the legacy I want to leave. I won’t get to see or know if I’m “remembered”, but I have the opportunity to live in a way now that can make a difference in the lives of all I encounter. You can do this as well. I encourage you this week to join me as someone living their legacy daily.