Category: Human Resources

Because I Knew You

Do you have anyone you can think of who has left an imprint on you ?? More than one ??

It’s a question that has been on my mind lately because we live in a world and at a time where people seem to focus primarily on themselves. The sentiment that you must look out for yourself first is prominent both personally and professionally. There are countless books who encourage and emphasize a self-focused approach to every aspect of life. It’s daunting to dare to think or act differently.

However, I strongly feel that we need to become less self-focused in order to truly affect change and foster sustainable leadership and relationships. It is important to be self-aware and self-assured. I find that if you are, then you’ll see that you’re “good” most of the time, and can focus on others more naturally and easily.

This weekend, after a great time with my extended family for the Thanksgiving holiday, my wife and I took my mom out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. We had been driving for over five hours and didn’t feel like cooking a meal. The restaurant is less than a mile from our house, and it’s a fave landing place for us. When our server approached the table, I could tell she had a spark in her eye. When she asked if we had made our choices, I attempted to order in Spanish. Mind you, I don’t speak Spanish.

She giggled and responded to me in Spanish. I pulled out my phone and looked up Google Translate because I planned to converse with her in Spanish for the rest of the night. I asked for a refill of my Diet Pepsi, and she quipped, “Mas bebida.” I typed “Mas vevida?” and she grabbed my phone to correct me. “More drink. Mas bebida.” We both laughed, and I saw her go speak to her co-workers while pointing back at our table.

There were more interactions we had, and when it was time to leave, I said, “¿Me puede dar la cuenta por favor?” She replied, “Si.” I laughed and told her that was too easy. We talked at our table for another ten minutes, and then left to pay. As we hit the door, our server waved and exclaimed, “Adiós, amigos !!” She had made our night out spectacular.

Earlier in the week, our family took time to go see Wicked for Good in the theater. It was an incredible sequel. The final song includes the compelling lyric, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” As I was crying (because that’s what I do), the lyric touched me. I was sitting in the aisle with my mother, wife, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and his wife. Each one of them has changed my life for good in one way or another.

The more I think about it, I can think of how many, many people have changed my life for the better. In fact, most of them have. I feel that if you view each encounter with others as having value, you’ll become more and more others-focused. Then, you’ll have a memorable encounter with a server at a restaurant.

This week, let’s all agree to be more cognizant that we are people who are known by others, and that can lead to change that is good.

Remember to Play !!

Do you remember when you were a kid ?? I can remember pretty far back. My earliest solid memories were from when I was five years old and in kindergarten. It was my first experience with school, and it had the perfect mix of learning and play. Heck, even the lessons were laced with fun activities. Throw in daily recess, and you have sheer perfection. There was structure, but it never felt confining.

Fast forward fifty-six years to the present day. As a “mature” adult, you’re not expected to play anymore. Sure, it’s acceptable to be a fan of multiple sports teams. But, that’s the extent of what people feel still falls in the realm of adult behavior. If you participate in sports recreationally, you aren’t pressing the boundaries too much. Other adults will support your efforts while also bemoaning how their body can no longer perform like it used to.

Board games are also deemed okay if there is a family or neighborhood gathering. They can help pass the time if you also have enough to eat and drink. These games must be limited to short bursts of time because you don’t want people to slip into that younger state where they used to laugh and act more carefree. How awful would that be ??

It saddens me that the art of play has been replaced with the myth of being a responsible adult. When did “responsible” become defined as reserved, demure, and lifeless? Why did we get lulled into a state of stress, frustration, anger, and disappointment while calling that success? A telltale comment I received after giving a presentation at an HR conference helped prod me to respond. The person stated that my style was sophomoric. As a fellow senior HR practitioner, he didn’t know why I spent time using toys for my examples instead of concrete business practices. He was also confused as to why I spent the majority of the presentation focusing on people. He wanted to focus on business !! That was far more important. I venture to say, this person doesn’t play.

I play. Always have. Always will.

My wife Debbie and I co-host an over-50s group at our church. She does an amazing job organizing activities for each night, and I am the ringleader who makes things come to life. Whenever we meet, we incorporate play, arts & crafts, friendly competition, and storytelling. We get a huge turnout of people, and I’ve heard them share with others how much fun they had for a few hours. You see, they forgot how to play . . . but they still know how.

Recently, I also had an opportunity to speak to a class full of 5th graders on the importance of being good. I brought my props (toys), which caused them to squeal when I used them. I also challenged them to a fierce smiling contest where everyone had to hold their smiles with teeth bared and not laugh or giggle. It was spectacular !!

I play at work as well. I go out of my way to connect with as many team members as I can daily. I ask how they’re doing and respond in a radical fashion by staying to listen regardless of what they share. I also regale them with stories from my weekend or encounters with team members from other locations.

Here’s what I know . . .

People who play enjoy themselves more than those who don’t. Laughter is healthy for you and helps you retain information. Not taking yourself seriously reduces stress, frustration, and anger.

I’m sure there are many who feel this approach isn’t professional or befitting of someone who is a Chief People Officer. That’s cool. I’m good with it. I know the relationships I have bring the best out in others because I play.

This week, as we take a break to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, pause and reflect. Are you content or wound tightly? Are you consumed with worry, or are you eager to see what lies ahead? I could keep going, but I think you get the gist.

I hope your time with friends and family is meaningful, full, and memorable. Take time to be thankful and step out a bit to play. It could be a great start to a new set of habits and approach to life, personally and professionally !!

Slow Down

People are constantly in a hurry. Constantly. On top of that, people are rarely disconnected from a screen of some sort. (I know you’re using a screen to read this, but hang with me.)

This constant pressure to be moving no matter the cost is exhausting !! People are edgy and ready to snap at the drop of a misconceived phrase someone asks looking for clarification. The ironic thing about this incessant pace is that few object to it. We’ve convinced ourselves that it’s the norm. Even if you take a day off, you fill it immediately with as much activity as you possibly can. This concerns me for several reasons.

First of all, we’ve believed the lie that if we DON’T hurry, then something is sure to be forgotten, overlooked or incomplete. Also, we’ve taken on this hidden peer pressure (also a lie) that if we don’t hurry, someone else will and then they’ll get ahead of us. The third lie we tell ourselves is that if WE don’t do everything ourselves, then the end product is certain to be shoddy. No one does work as good as we do !!

Ugh. It’s killing us. We need to all SLOW DOWN.

My favorite season is Fall. In the Midwest, the temperature drops, and our trees show their true colors. This year in Cincinnati, Ohio, we went from having a surplus of rain to a full-on drought. The trees stayed green. We were getting concerned because we thought this meant that one weekend they’d jump from green to falling to the ground without sharing their autumnal glory. Here’s what we forget. Trees don’t hurry. They do what is needed when it is needed and not a moment before.

Last weekend we received a good soaker of a rain, which evidently turned on the internal mechanism for transformation. A week later we’re surrounded by vibrant reds, yellows and oranges !! All at the right time.

We can learn from these magnificent organisms. They still produce, grow, reach new boundaries, and evolve while being measured. There’s no sense of hurriedness. Isn’t it time that we stopped having company cultures based on a constant drive, unrealistic activity, and production at all costs ?? It is. In fact, it’s overdue. People don’t realize that this “production first” mentality is not feasible or sustainable. Instead of understanding that this breakneck pace is the cause of much of our rework, we invent new procedures that are sure to fix everything. It doesn’t and it won’t.

I’ve rarely been a person who feels rushed or pressed – personally or professionally. Sure, I get anxious about deadlines and making sure to be accountable. However, I’m measured. I slow down on purpose. I know this is frustrating to the work world of doers. If others aren’t sprinting to the point of exhaustion like they are, then they view others as not really working. Do you see the irony in this? Speed and activity are what are valued. Thoughtful, paced, intentional work is viewed primarily as slow. The results are the same, if not better, being measured. Please don’t mistake being measured as inactivity; far from it.

In order to break from the norm of running, running, running, you have to have a more disciplined approach to your day. It’s not a complicated system. In fact, simple is better and simple works. Let me give you an example . . .

Every morning before I start my commute, I walk out to my driveway and take a deep breath regardless of the weather. As I exhale, I say, ” It’s a good day for a good day.” You know what . . . it turns out that more often than not. This week, stop hurrying. Slow down. Take in everything around you. Trust me. When you do, your true colors will start showing as well !!

Peeled Away !!

One of the best aspects of Fall is that the weather breaks. It is cooler each day, and that makes it more inviting to do one of my favorite things – working out in my yard. Seriously. I love getting outside and getting projects done. The sun is no longer beating down on you, and this makes it easier to accomplish things.

This Saturday, after a full breakfast to prep for the flurry of activity, I headed to the hardware store to get some supplies. We have a split rail fence that borders our backyard, and it needed some replacement pieces. I usually have to replace three to four rails a year. I also picked up eight bags of topsoil to use in repositioning and straightening out some landscape border walls.

When I got back home, I grabbed some tools, my Shokz headphones, found a Spotify playlist, and headed out to the yard. After getting the new rails in place and taking the old ones back to my brush pile, I changed course. I needed to get some bulbs in the ground so they’d take root and give us some daffodils in the spring. You always think projects will take mere minutes to complete, but they rarely do. Time seems to expand exponentially, doesn’t it ??

That was okay. I removed some overgrown Russian Sage plants and a conglomeration of gladiolas to make room for the new bulbs. Once all this was done, I hit a wall. You see, in my mind, I’m still this 20-year-old. I’m far from it !! I have the best intentions of working constantly throughout the day, but Father Time is winning. I wasn’t dissuaded. It just meant another course change.

For months, I had noticed our siding on our 2nd floor turn a green hue with moss and mildew. Earlier in the summer, our daughter was visiting for the weekend, and she helped me maneuver our extension ladder so I could use our pressure washer to remove the grime. We were able to address the front of the house, but didn’t have a chance to get to the west side. I decided that removing this green goo was my next project for the day. I asked my wife to come out to spot me, watch the ladder, and move the pressure washer if needed.

I lumbered up the ladder with the washer wand in hand. I took my position with assured footing. Then, I started peeling the green growth off the siding line by line and section by section. It was so pleasing to see the natural color of the siding reappear. As I was up on the roof, I turned around and saw our chimney. You could no longer tell it was constructed of beautiful red brick. The coating that encompassed it was dark green, black, and actual moss was growing, trying to swallow it.

I couldn’t allow the brick to remain covered in slime. I turned the pressure washer around and opened fire. It took several minutes to peel back the layers. It was worth it though !! Years of gunk had given it a completely different appearance. I imagined the brick giving a healthy sigh, knowing it was being restored to its initial state.

The buildup was so great that when it broke off the chimney’s surface, it flew in all directions. Much of it was cast backwards on me. I was covered from head to toe in bits of green and black. I ended up being the filthy one. I didn’t care. Getting the siding and chimney clean gave me pleasure.

This peeling back of layers of all that had grown reminded me of employees. Stick with me here. You see, most people at work take on bits of accumulation based on working in environments that primarily focus on the negative. They can’t shake it off. It just keeps piling on and leads to discoloration. People can still perform, but it’s hard to see the talented person who is still present below the layers and layers of buildup.

What’s even more concerning, we notice something’s not right while the piling on continues. It’s time that HR gets out their pressure washers !! We need to carefully and empathetically peel back the layers of negativity that encompass our people. We also need to set the stage that we’ll no longer foster or tolerate working from the position of “what’s wrong.” Once the surfaces of our people are clean, we need to come at work, problems, and projects from a constructive position. Figure out the opportunities and approaches to move things forward. Assess where things stand, and then unleash the inherent talent of our people.

You’re going to get sprayback when you do this. It will take patience to keep clearing everything away. You may get tired and even want to stop the effort. Press on. Your great people deserve it. Take the time to reveal their talents once again !!

You’re On the Team !!

My life is surreal. Seriously.

For the past several years, I’ve been fortunate to give presentations around the country. I get to live out a dream I’ve had to be a public speaker. Each time I am asked to speak, I’m both geeked and humbled. Humbled because I never want to take any opportunity for granted. Geeked because I get amped up any time I get to meet my HR peers.

This week, I was invited to speak at the HR Conference for Major League Soccer (MLS) !! Our local team, FC Cincinnati, was the host location. It was so cool to have the soccer stadium as the environment where I gave my presentation. The room was filled with HR practitioners from each of the 30 MLS teams as well as folks from their corporate office. I was given 90 minutes to fill to kick off their event.

We had a great time laughing, sharing stories, and bonding as HR peers. I gathered all of my office toys, talked with a few of the attendees, and headed back to my office. After the experience, I opened a small, branded FCC bag to look at what was inside. I was giddy because I knew in advance what was there.

When the HR team asked if I’d consider being a speaker, they asked if there was anything I’d like. I took a chance and made the ask. I wondered if I could get a personalized FCC jersey. I was stunned when they asked what size, what color, and what number I’d like !! I quickly stated I’d love a blue jersey with my fave number 31. It was the number I wore all the years I played basketball 40+ years ago.

When I pulled the jersey from the bag, I was overjoyed !! It was an example of “being” on the team. It also made me contemplate what it means to be on a team of human resources professionals.

When I began my career, I was an HR department of one for my first several years in the field. I never understood or knew that there were other HR pros anywhere close to where I worked. I made a conscious choice to step out and explore the possibility that others did what I did. It was the best personal and professional choice I made. I soon found out that there were countless others practicing HR across the globe.

This reality excited me, and I assumed it would excite others just as much. I was mistaken. You see, I feel that the HR profession is still far too isolated and fragmented when it doesn’t have to be. I think this is because so many of my peers continue to keep their heads down, buried in the work for which they’re responsible. I appreciate people being diligent. You should be. However, there’s no reason to be disconnected from others who also practice HR.

We’re all on the team !!

Jeff Berding, the co-CEO of FC Cincinnati, stated something that rang true with me and those in the room. He stated that there is no better time for HR to lead and thrive because we’re the profession that cares for people. He’s right. It’s always been the case. It’s just a matter of whether we see ourselves in this same light.

You aren’t alone. I feel tied and connected to the 50+ people I met on Friday. I extended an invitation for them to connect with me on purpose. I ended my presentation with this encouragement.

“Don’t leave this conference only having talked with the people you already know and work with. Reach out to the others here. Get to know them. You’re all on the same team. The team of HR !!”

This week, make sure to know I consider you on my team if you are an HR peer, regardless of where you work, where you live, or what industry you support. Teams pull together. Teams lift each other up, and most importantly, teams thrive !! Get your jersey. Put it on. Take the field. People are waiting for us !!

Onward

A week ago, I was able to experience something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time !! My daughter, Melanie, and I went to a WNBA game. She lives in Indianapolis, so of course, we had to become Indiana Fever fans. We were following the team before they were transformed with the addition of Caitlin Clark.

Basketball is something that has been a shared passion for my daughter and me. I played all through high school, and even considered playing at the collegiate level. I was geeked when my daughter caught the basketball bug at an early age herself. She also played through high school, and I was fortunate to get to coach her for a few years when she was just learning the game. On top of all of this, we became fierce Xavier University basketball fans because we live in greater Cincinnati. We attended several games over the years, and they are some of my favorite memories of doing things together.

The Fever game was a special surprise as a birthday gift from Melanie. We had to wait eight months for the game to happen. During that time, Clark became injured. She has helped transform the WNBA along with other new talents. It’s exciting for people to finally get on board to support and see these amazing women perform. They play a pure form of basketball that is a joy to watch.

Melanie was bummed that Caitlin Clark wouldn’t be playing when we went. Unfortunately, the Fever had lost two other key players to injury. They’ve had to add some new players on short-term contracts to do their best to weather this string of injuries. I told her that I was bummed as well, but the key to me was spending time with her watching another game in person.

The environment, arena, and crowd were electric. There was a buzz the moment we parked the car in the attached parking garage. Every single person had Fever branded gear on. Every. One. I had never seen anything so compelling. You didn’t know the extent of how much people knew the game, the players, or how deeply they were fans. However, they seemed to be fully in by their excitement.

We visited the team store and bought some gear of our own. We were as caught up in the fervor as everyone else. As we made it to our seats, we were set with snacks and an incredible view. We took in every moment and cheered the Fever on through the ups and downs of the action. In the end, the team lost. We were hoping for a better outcome, but we were far from disappointed. The outcome never mattered. The time with Melanie did.

The entire time we spent together, I was reminded that we were surrounded by people moving . . . onward. The Fever had lost several of their players, but they still played with the intent of winning. They could have let their circumstances stop them. They could also have just put in little effort to compete. The fans could have chosen not to attend because the players they expected to see weren’t going to take the court. After the loss, the fans could also have sworn to never support the team again. I’m fairly sure that won’t happen.

How is it for you and others at work? How much of your day is spent stuck in the various circumstances you’re facing? When have you found yourself stagnant and unable to move because of all that life is handing you?

We need to move onward. We need to surround ourselves with others who will support and encourage us. The circumstances of life are always going to be unpredictable and unforeseen. There’s no escaping it. Moving forward through whatever comes our way is sure to be challenging. It may take time and concerted effort, but you can do it. You can.

Onward.

Lifecycles

I’m sure we all experience ebbs and flows at work and in life in general. We want to hit those peak times and hold onto them fiercely before they slowly wane away. The dry times seem like endless deserts that have no horizon. On top of this, we can run through a range of emotions within moments. Laughter to frustration. Anxiety to assuredness. Loss to joy. Add to all of these shifts and movements a common factor . . . people.

You see, the same constant movements we experience personally are magnified when we add others to our day. You can’t avoid it. Rarely do your peak times match the people you encounter. Everyone is always at different points of a continuum. Within that flow, we are expected to perform and excel individually and as a whole. It’s astonishing that work gets completed and accomplished when you take into account the infinite number of nuances that each person brings to each work situation.

The reason for this descriptive framework is that we effortlessly weave in and out of these waves. Sure, we may crash into a beach or an unseen reef below the surface, but those rarely keep us from moving through whatever we’re hit with. Almost every time . . .

The past two weeks have been challenging at work because we have experienced six deaths that were connected to our company. Two were recent retirees who had decades of service with us. One was a franchise owner who built and sustained a community tradition. And, three were immediate family members of current team members.

I share this for context. One aspect of being an HR professional for my entire career is that I get the privilege of going to funerals, visitations, memorial services, and celebrations of life. It’s never easy. It is always emotional. I was able to attend three of these recently, and one will soon be scheduled. The other two occurred before I knew they happened.

This isn’t common to have so many people passing in this short span of time. It was eye-opening because it caused me to reflect on a few observations.

The first is this. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s life and to take the time to see them when they experience a loss. To be able to share a few kind words, shed some tears, and give hugs of support is priceless. To let them know you’re there for them genuinely is the most human HR can ever be.

Secondly, we know very little about each other’s lives. Even though we’re together for many hours each week, we have surface-level relationships with most people. This isn’t a right or wrong statement. It’s just a fact. If we asked people, they would tell you that the majority of people are positive connections. We may know where people live, how many people are in their immediate families, and a few of their personal interests. It is human enough for us to be okay.

Thirdly, we don’t know that many people. When I’ve attended the gatherings to remember these wonderful lives, the rooms are filled with countless people whom I’ve never met. We generally feel that we have a significant number of others in our lives. It’s true when you consider family members, neighbors, past classmates throughout the years, and professional contacts. Even with that, you enter a funeral home or a church, and the majority of people attending are unfamiliar to you.

All of these observations brought me to a new conclusion. I have always thought that HR has the opportunity to be involved in an employee’s lifecycle – the time they’re recruited until the time they leave your company. These time periods could be short or extremely long. The new conclusion I have is that the lifecycle doesn’t end when people leave. It also includes being there when people’s personal lifecycle ends.

It’s been a sobering reminder that even though I may not know everyone I work with at some deep level, I can still provide an approachable, warm, caring, and understanding human connection for them on a daily basis. None of us knows when the transition of life will come. Therefore, we can’t waste one moment getting swallowed by the various ups and downs of how we feel about each other.

I think it’s more important to let others know you are always in their corner. Remember that you can be someone who provides consistency and hopefully a regular positive impact in their lives. This week, slow down the waves of highs and lows. Take time to be intentional. Make a lasting difference in the lifecycles of everyone you encounter. In the end, they’ll impact yours as well !!

Can I Tell You Something ??

As I sit down to type this post, I’m exhausted. My wife and I just returned from the SHRM Annual Conference in San Diego, and some time away we tacked on the back end of the event visiting San Francisco. We enjoy visiting places once we land in a destination. We do all we can to pack in as much sightseeing and local flavor that we can. The bookends of flying are always somewhat adventurous even if most things fall into place.

Each year I attend the annual conference, I am renewed and rejuvenated !! There is one primary reason for this rekindling, and that is spending time with my HR peers from around the globe. I’ve been going to the conference for 15+ years and have been fortunate to be a presenter at the last 11 years. I am geeked to see familiar faces, and get a jolt of energy if someone screams out my name, “STEVE !!!” from across a crowded hallway. There are countless smiles, hugs, and laughs shared from the moment I touch ground in each host city.

I know that I’m fortunate to have that occur. I don’t take it for granted. I also want those who attend to know that who they are and what they do matter to me, and to the lives of the people they touch. HR can be thankless work. This arena gives me the opportunity to gather people around, encourage them, and hopefully renew their interest in the industry that has been my chosen field for the past four decades.

The constant shining reality of what SHRM has always been about for me is the people. That has been true for the 25+ years I’ve been involved – through thick and thin.

Walking through the convention center in San Diego is daunting. It stretches on and on in one continuous line. Sessions happened in hotels that were at each end of the center as well as throughout the two floors of the center itself. I give you that mental picture as a framework for what occurred.

I get stopped often when moving through SHRM Annual. Having been a regular for some time, I’ve met thousands of people over the years. This year took on a whole new level of personalization that I wasn’t seeking or expecting. It’s humbling to me when people come up to me and share stories. You never know what you’re going to hear, and each one fills me with intrigue and anticipation. You see, if people are willing to take time to open up, be vulnerable, and share what’s on their hearts, then they will always get my undivided attention.

When I was stopped, the conversation usually began with, “Can I tell you something ??”

The stories shared often brought me to tears and left me speechless. I heard one after another from people who told me how they had been moved and affected by my presentations. Many told me they were on the verge of quitting HR, and then changed their minds. Others shared how they were just wandering the halls and unknowingly sauntered into one of my sessions.

I heard tales of how they bought toys for their office or for their staff after seeing the menagerie I travel with. They talked about how they found joy once again in being an HR practitioner.

I was shaken to my core. Often, I shared a hug and could barely squeak out a “Thank You” before I wept. Wave after wave of emotions hit me at every turn. I can’t capture in words how much these conversations mean. My favorite ones are people who confide they’ve seen me speak for several years but didn’t know if I’d be open to meeting them in person.

I assured each person that I’m a peer and just a guy in HR. I cherish the chance to meet anyone who’s willing to connect and share even the smallest hello.

If you’ve read my blog at all over the years, you’ve heard me state how important it is to connect as fellow HR professionals. I mean it. People who do good work are aching for someone to come alongside them. Each time I meet an old friend for a warm embrace or a new one for a handshake, I’m anchored.

This week, reach out to someone as an HR peer. Give them just a few moments of your time during your hectic week. Don’t worry about what to say, or what you’ll cover. Start simply with . . .

“Can I tell you something ??” . . . and watch what happens !!

Bear Hugs !!

I don’t know about you, but I love a big hug. I’ve always been very comfortable with hugging others. To me, this is a way to show that someone else matters in your life. I’m about to go to the SHRM Annual HR Conference at the end of this month where I’ll see many friends I’ve made over the years. Even though there will be around 20,000 people milling around every inch of the convention center, I’ll make sure to stop and give out hugs willingly.

My immediate and extended family have always been huggers too. When we started to get older and spouses were introduced to the family, they were sure to be enveloped in multiple hugs whenever we got together. This is something we’ve instilled in our kids, and they in turn have kept hugs going with their friends. Whenever we see the friends of our kids, hugs are a given each time.

A few weeks ago, this show of affection took on a whole new meaning. I had an opportunity to be involved at Kids Camp at our church in a unique way. Each year, when we have camp, they have someone as the mascot. This mascot gets kids excited, and they get to roam free to meet with and interact with everyone. I was asked if I’d be this year’s mascot, and I jumped at the chance.

You see, the mascot was Grizz, a 7 foot tall bear !! I filled out the costume better than others since I stand at 6’4″. When I tried on Grizz for the first time, I was good. The suit has an internal fan that blows it up so that you’re not even close to touching the edges. What I didn’t know was that walking would be a challenge because my stride would be cut in half. It looked like I was shuffling, which took concerted effort.

On top of this, your only vantage point of viewing anything was a small, clear circle at the end of Grizz’s nose. It was about a 3-inch diameter. So, without any prior knowledge, I was kind of trapped in this suit. I was led around every step of the way by my amazing wife. She gave constant caring directions like, “Take two more steps straight. Now, turn left. Keep walking. Wave to someone on your right.” I was completely at her mercy, and without her, I was lost.

The first night Grizz made an appearance, the kids were a bit standoffish. They were overwhelmed by his size. They would wave cautiously from a distance. I understand that. It’s a giant bear that doesn’t talk, and you’re not sure who’s inside or if the bear is real. The night was challenging for Debbie and me too. We were figuring out how to maneuver, and the suit even deflated with me in it because the battery failed. I freaked out a bit !!

On night two, we hit our stride. We had a new, large battery that I carried in a backpack. Walking to and fro seemed easier as well. Debbie led me out to Grizz’s cabin at the beginning of the night. It was then that the tide turned.

The same kids who were scared and cautious the night before now screamed out my name and ran headlong into my arms. You’d hear a muffled “GRIZZ !!” followed by a soft thump up against the costume. They started talking to me, telling me stories, and making sure that I saw them. I gave out so many bear hugs that I was overwhelmed !! No kidding. As I was experiencing hug after hug, I wept inside my grizzly facade while laughing with joy at the same time.

Throughout the week, the kids became more and more comfortable. I would visit classrooms and walk throughout camp, receiving hug after hug. The end of camp was bittersweet because I knew I’d no longer put on the cumbersome bear. However, knowing that I was able to connect with so many people (including adults), filled my bucket for sure.

I wanted to share this story because I know many people who could use a hug. Too many people are struggling with a variety of life issues. Chances are they’re walking near you or working next to you, and you’re not even aware of it. This pulls at my heart.

I know that it’s not always possible to give a physical hug to people. You should always respect people’s personal space. You can, however, give a kind word, encourage someone, or slow down to listen to what’s going on in their lives. You can give an emotional hug with little effort. People are aching. You may be aching !!

Don’t just walk by someone indiscriminately this week. Pause and notice the wonderful folks around you. Give them a bear hug of some sort. It may be just what they need !!

Iron Things Out

We all have our morning routines. You need to because they set the tone for your day. For me, it starts with a hot shower to shake off the cobwebs, and then I meander down the hall to my wife’s craft room.

Her crafting laboratory is also where our ironing board is located. Every morning of my work week, I turn on this amazing appliance and iron my outfit. Since my daily attire consists of a paisley shirt and jeans, you wouldn’t think that this would be needed. I could skate by with pulling them off the hangar and throwing them on. Honestly, who would notice ?? (Don’t think that on some mornings when I’m dragging, this thought hasn’t passed my mind !!)

Taking a few moments to get prepared for the day ahead is calming. You can focus on getting ready. It allows me to adopt a great mindset to look forward to what’s ahead. I’m not much of a to-do list person, but I do like to contemplate what I think is possible. I know that it could change within a split second because I get to work with humans. We all desire for work to be steady and predictable, but it rarely is.

Each time I iron my outfit, I think of HR. You see, my pants and shirts are in a fairly good state, just as they are . . . with a few wrinkles. By adjusting the iron to the correct temperature setting for the clothes, I can press those wrinkles away so I look good and feel prepared to start my day with a positive look.

We need to think of working with others like ironing. They come to see us mostly good. They really are. We tell ourselves, though, that our job is to “fix” things because what they’re facing is in such a state that MAJOR action is needed. That is rarely the case. People come with a few wrinkles. They need someone who will assess what’s happening, set the right tone and temperature, then iron things out. You may need some steam to work on those deep wrinkles at times. The goal is to get people back in shape so they can perform their jobs.

We can’t fix people. It’s a myth that we continue to perpetuate. In fact, we reward people who are fixers. At times, I think we fall into the trap that they’re doing great work. Honestly, they’re shifting things around to come to a solid conclusion that eases the pressure that they probably started. These folks need more attention, and we need to step in to have those grounding conversations. They have talent and don’t have to keep approaching work as if everything is broken.

If we took this approach of smoothing out the wrinkles instead of being someone expecting to perform triage, then we wouldn’t be so frustrated and stressed ourselves. You see, we come to work with wrinkles too. It’s time for us to lay out our outfits. Let’s step back, calm down, and take a few moments to use our iron in our work. Trust me, it works !!