Tag: culture

Slow Down

People are constantly in a hurry. Constantly. On top of that, people are rarely disconnected from a screen of some sort. (I know you’re using a screen to read this, but hang with me.)

This constant pressure to be moving no matter the cost is exhausting !! People are edgy and ready to snap at the drop of a misconceived phrase someone asks looking for clarification. The ironic thing about this incessant pace is that few object to it. We’ve convinced ourselves that it’s the norm. Even if you take a day off, you fill it immediately with as much activity as you possibly can. This concerns me for several reasons.

First of all, we’ve believed the lie that if we DON’T hurry, then something is sure to be forgotten, overlooked or incomplete. Also, we’ve taken on this hidden peer pressure (also a lie) that if we don’t hurry, someone else will and then they’ll get ahead of us. The third lie we tell ourselves is that if WE don’t do everything ourselves, then the end product is certain to be shoddy. No one does work as good as we do !!

Ugh. It’s killing us. We need to all SLOW DOWN.

My favorite season is Fall. In the Midwest, the temperature drops, and our trees show their true colors. This year in Cincinnati, Ohio, we went from having a surplus of rain to a full-on drought. The trees stayed green. We were getting concerned because we thought this meant that one weekend they’d jump from green to falling to the ground without sharing their autumnal glory. Here’s what we forget. Trees don’t hurry. They do what is needed when it is needed and not a moment before.

Last weekend we received a good soaker of a rain, which evidently turned on the internal mechanism for transformation. A week later we’re surrounded by vibrant reds, yellows and oranges !! All at the right time.

We can learn from these magnificent organisms. They still produce, grow, reach new boundaries, and evolve while being measured. There’s no sense of hurriedness. Isn’t it time that we stopped having company cultures based on a constant drive, unrealistic activity, and production at all costs ?? It is. In fact, it’s overdue. People don’t realize that this “production first” mentality is not feasible or sustainable. Instead of understanding that this breakneck pace is the cause of much of our rework, we invent new procedures that are sure to fix everything. It doesn’t and it won’t.

I’ve rarely been a person who feels rushed or pressed – personally or professionally. Sure, I get anxious about deadlines and making sure to be accountable. However, I’m measured. I slow down on purpose. I know this is frustrating to the work world of doers. If others aren’t sprinting to the point of exhaustion like they are, then they view others as not really working. Do you see the irony in this? Speed and activity are what are valued. Thoughtful, paced, intentional work is viewed primarily as slow. The results are the same, if not better, being measured. Please don’t mistake being measured as inactivity; far from it.

In order to break from the norm of running, running, running, you have to have a more disciplined approach to your day. It’s not a complicated system. In fact, simple is better and simple works. Let me give you an example . . .

Every morning before I start my commute, I walk out to my driveway and take a deep breath regardless of the weather. As I exhale, I say, ” It’s a good day for a good day.” You know what . . . it turns out that more often than not. This week, stop hurrying. Slow down. Take in everything around you. Trust me. When you do, your true colors will start showing as well !!

Peeled Away !!

One of the best aspects of Fall is that the weather breaks. It is cooler each day, and that makes it more inviting to do one of my favorite things – working out in my yard. Seriously. I love getting outside and getting projects done. The sun is no longer beating down on you, and this makes it easier to accomplish things.

This Saturday, after a full breakfast to prep for the flurry of activity, I headed to the hardware store to get some supplies. We have a split rail fence that borders our backyard, and it needed some replacement pieces. I usually have to replace three to four rails a year. I also picked up eight bags of topsoil to use in repositioning and straightening out some landscape border walls.

When I got back home, I grabbed some tools, my Shokz headphones, found a Spotify playlist, and headed out to the yard. After getting the new rails in place and taking the old ones back to my brush pile, I changed course. I needed to get some bulbs in the ground so they’d take root and give us some daffodils in the spring. You always think projects will take mere minutes to complete, but they rarely do. Time seems to expand exponentially, doesn’t it ??

That was okay. I removed some overgrown Russian Sage plants and a conglomeration of gladiolas to make room for the new bulbs. Once all this was done, I hit a wall. You see, in my mind, I’m still this 20-year-old. I’m far from it !! I have the best intentions of working constantly throughout the day, but Father Time is winning. I wasn’t dissuaded. It just meant another course change.

For months, I had noticed our siding on our 2nd floor turn a green hue with moss and mildew. Earlier in the summer, our daughter was visiting for the weekend, and she helped me maneuver our extension ladder so I could use our pressure washer to remove the grime. We were able to address the front of the house, but didn’t have a chance to get to the west side. I decided that removing this green goo was my next project for the day. I asked my wife to come out to spot me, watch the ladder, and move the pressure washer if needed.

I lumbered up the ladder with the washer wand in hand. I took my position with assured footing. Then, I started peeling the green growth off the siding line by line and section by section. It was so pleasing to see the natural color of the siding reappear. As I was up on the roof, I turned around and saw our chimney. You could no longer tell it was constructed of beautiful red brick. The coating that encompassed it was dark green, black, and actual moss was growing, trying to swallow it.

I couldn’t allow the brick to remain covered in slime. I turned the pressure washer around and opened fire. It took several minutes to peel back the layers. It was worth it though !! Years of gunk had given it a completely different appearance. I imagined the brick giving a healthy sigh, knowing it was being restored to its initial state.

The buildup was so great that when it broke off the chimney’s surface, it flew in all directions. Much of it was cast backwards on me. I was covered from head to toe in bits of green and black. I ended up being the filthy one. I didn’t care. Getting the siding and chimney clean gave me pleasure.

This peeling back of layers of all that had grown reminded me of employees. Stick with me here. You see, most people at work take on bits of accumulation based on working in environments that primarily focus on the negative. They can’t shake it off. It just keeps piling on and leads to discoloration. People can still perform, but it’s hard to see the talented person who is still present below the layers and layers of buildup.

What’s even more concerning, we notice something’s not right while the piling on continues. It’s time that HR gets out their pressure washers !! We need to carefully and empathetically peel back the layers of negativity that encompass our people. We also need to set the stage that we’ll no longer foster or tolerate working from the position of “what’s wrong.” Once the surfaces of our people are clean, we need to come at work, problems, and projects from a constructive position. Figure out the opportunities and approaches to move things forward. Assess where things stand, and then unleash the inherent talent of our people.

You’re going to get sprayback when you do this. It will take patience to keep clearing everything away. You may get tired and even want to stop the effort. Press on. Your great people deserve it. Take the time to reveal their talents once again !!

Festival Culture !!

This weekend, Fall finally arrived. It is my favorite season by far !! The leaves change colors, the temperature drops, and you break out your favorite sweatshirt. You spend more time outside even though there’s less daylight. It’s the perfect season in every possible way.

Another aspect of the arrival of Fall is the abundance of festivals. It seems like people can take any singular item and launch a festival. Around here, there are multiple Oktoberfest celebrations, an Apple Festival, a Sauerkraut Festival, the simply named Fall Festivals, and Pumpkin Festivals. My wife told me about one such Pumpkin Festival in the city that adjoins ours. It’s appropriately called Operation Pumpkin, and I wanted to make sure to check it out. She did as well, but she needed to attend a baby shower of one of our cousins. She encouraged me to go anyway. I’m so glad I did !!

Our granddog, Wags, was visiting once again, and he loves to get out and about. He’s very comfortable being social. We made the 15-minute drive over to Hamilton, Ohio, and saw the Festival seemingly pop up out of the ground. We were diverted from the main street running through the city because the festival had taken over. Once we parked, I removed the ever-eager Wags from the backseat of my Equinox and quickly grabbed his leash because he was so excited to join the throng.

There’s no mistaking where the festival started because a display of MASSIVE pumpkins was at the event’s entry point. People were gathered around, all with their phones out, taking pictures. After that eye-catching spectacle, you fell in with the hundreds of people inching their way up and down the street. Booth after booth made up a boundary for everyone on either side. There were crafts, food trucks, beer, tschotskes, a glass blowing exhibit, and countless pumpkins. Artisans were cordoned off in the middle of the street as they did live carving on some of the behemoths.

Wags and I were enthralled with the sights, sounds, smells, and genuine camaraderie of everyone there. People from all walks of life filled every possible space. They ranged from infants to the elderly. You came across people whose arms were so filled with purchases that they could hardly control their finds. Wags was the center of attention, both young and old. I made sure to have him meet some people who were chair-bound, and just wanted to show and receive some affection.

Also, even though Hamilton is a fairly large city, I saw people I knew. That even included one of the teachers from our kids’ daycare who had known them as infants !! She gave me the biggest hug. I couldn’t believe she even recognized me, as the kids hadn’t seen her for 20+ years. It was a wonderful surprise. The others were folks from our church and some HR peers.

As we sat on a wall in front of the County Courthouse to take a break and eat some lunch, I was taken by something unique to festivals. Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone. There was a general sense of joy and engagement. People had a myriad of choices. The variety was available so that you weren’t stuck with just one activity, food choice, or purchase option. If something didn’t pique your interest, you could move to the next booth.

The conversations happening were vibrant, excited, and passionate. You’d hear about people’s experiences and recommendations of what they were seeing. It was as if they didn’t want anyone to miss what they saw. It was encouraging and welcoming. It made me wonder what would happen if our workplaces adopted a festival culture. I’m not suggesting we have booths, food trucks, and carnival rides (although that would be cool). However, if we were intentional about having activities that mattered and interesting conversations, I think we’d see a shift. Festivals are focused on people providing services. Workplaces are focused on work, work, deadlines, stuff, and work. People are an afterthought.

We’re overdue in turning the tide regarding our culture and our approach toward people. When we know we have people who want to be involved, contribute, and add value, why wouldn’t we do everything we could to have an inviting culture ?? People flock to festivals just because they’re happening. I think that is how we should look at having a colorful, energy-filled, and inviting culture in our workplaces.

A Handwritten Note . . .

A few weeks ago, I joined a Zoom call on a Sunday night. Before you jump to conclusions about work/life balance, give me a second to give you some context.

The call was set up to celebrate one of our peers, Mary Williams, who was retiring. It broke into my weekend, but there’s nothing wrong about that interruption at all. I was geeked when I got the invitation to spend some time to thank and encourage Mary for how she’s touched my life and the lives of countless others. Mary is a rare human who takes an immediate interest in YOU the moment you meet her. She’s had a fulfilling and successful career as an HR practitioner ending her time with the appropriate title – Head of People at her company.

Mary and I have been friends for years through volunteer leadership roles, social media connections, and especially as “fierce” rivals as to who was the #1 fan of the exceptional HR Social Hour podcast. (Mary was, and remains, #1 and I’m a reluctant #2 – although I’ll keep pressing.)

One of the many gifts Mary possesses is that her personal touch in the lives of others is expressed in a way that has become a lost art form. She sends you cards. Cards that are handwritten. Cards that bring a smile and also heartfelt tears at the same time. If you get a card from Mary, you can hear her voice as you read the thoughtful note she’s penned inside – just for you. Every person who was able to join the Zoom call shared how Mary’s cards and handwritten notes personally meant the world to them.

The card above is what she sent me, and I’m sure others, who were on the Zoom call that Sunday night. She was thanking me for taking the time to be there for her. She’s incredible and leads me to this thought . . .

Are you giving a personal touch in how you practice HR ?? If not, why not? I know we may have apprehension if we “put ourselves out there,” but I have never found that to be too big of a risk. People want to know they matter and that they’re cared for. It can’t be a thought. It deserves an action.

We have pulled back so far from making our profession human. I think this diminishes our impact and relevance. It honestly doesn’t matter how quickly you can process a spreadsheet or write another policy. That’s going to continue with ease. People are yearning for a personal touch from you. I feel that more and more, our ability to do this naturally will be the key as to whether companies should even have an internal HR function.

I’m not kidding. I feel we’re at a critical crossroads. If we don’t bring the human element to life in our companies on a daily basis, the majority of the rest of our jobs could be outsourced. It’s that essential. Stop being someone who is only technically astute. Give that same attention to being human yourself. Then, take time intentionally to connect with the people around you. Be a people-first HR leader all the time !!

This week – send a card, give someone a handwritten note, make an actual phone call, or take time to visit someone in person. Be the kind of human Mary is and see what a lasting impact you’ll make.

Dignity

This weekend, my wife and I stepped into a world that is far different than our own. Another couple invited us to join them and their adult son to venture to downtown Cincinnati with the Broken Bus Ministry. It was a day I won’t forget.

We started by learning what we were going to do and who we were going to serve. Michelle, the founder of the ministry, gave us a quick orientation to let us know what we would encounter and how to be prepared. The bus is packed from floor to ceiling with a mix of clothing, backpacks, shoes, snacks, supplies, and miscellaneous items that could be used as needed.

The description of the bus being broken is accurate !! It’s over 30 years old, and the engine sputters and coughs as you head down the road. The air conditioning strains to work, and the shocks and suspension are suspect. It’s perfection !! We headed to meet people who are experiencing homelessness. The goal of the day was to check in, provide a meal, put together a sack of snacks and drinks, and assess if the people we met needed other basic life items.

Michelle has been taking volunteers to serve this community every week for the past 14 years !! She is a volunteer as well. Many of the people she serves know her by name and wait eagerly for the bus to arrive. Who we met and what we saw was a simple reminder to be grateful for things we take for granted, such as shelter, food, and safety. After a few stops, we got our bearings and joined in the efforts to serve. My wife manned the biscuits and gravy station, and Trevor, the son of our friends, helped with clothing and snacks. Michelle, Amy and John, and I got out of the bus to talk with the people we saw. We invited them to come get a meal.

It was humbling to see people crawl from their makeshift “homes” to get a container of warm food and other items. The best part of our time serving was the conversations we had. I hadn’t expected this. My friend John noted that when we got back into the bus to move to the next stop, the most obvious and salient thing. “Steve, the number one thing all of these people want is to be treated with dignity.” I felt tears well up in my eyes and agreed.

It’s easy to judge, make statements, and ignore people. It is. The slightest difference causes us to decide the value of the people we encounter. It’s not fair. It’s not necessary. But, it’s 100% human.

During my day downtown, this smacked me firmly between the eyes. I gathered myself, and soon found myself sharing stories, telling jokes, laughing with, and listening to the stories of these folks who were facing insurmountable challenges to make it through the next day. We were in the midst of those who live on the fringe because of choices, life circumstances, drugs, alcohol, and mental illness. In no way did it diminish the fact that they deserved to be treated with grace, care, and respect. It’s not something they regularly receive from the majority of people who move around them.

What would our world look like if we treated each other consistently with dignity? How would workplaces and cultures be shaped if we saw the best in everyone and what they had to offer? How would your day go if you took the time to acknowledge, greet, and encourage others regardless of their circumstances?

I know that my viewpoint was broadened this weekend, and I don’t want to return to a place that ever looks at someone as “less than” me. One of the people we met was so conversational, and he asked if he could share a word with us. We all eagerly said that we’d love to hear what he had to say.

“To quote the great band Cinderella (an epic 80s Heavy Metal Hairband), ‘You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.’ I had everything. A home, a job, loving parents, and more. Never take it for granted. Tell the people in your life you love them. Don’t just show them, tell them. I had those things.”

His wisdom will stay with me for the rest of my life. I won’t look past people again. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Everyone. I hope you’ll join me. Together, this simple act could reshape the world.

Wandering . . .

Have you ever hit a dry patch at work? In life?

It just seems that no matter what you do, you keep wandering with little hope of an end in sight. As you feel this happening, you buckle down and work even harder, convincing yourself you can muster the fortitude to push through. What you encounter is more sand, endless dunes on the horizon, and the sweltering sun pounding down on you.

I’ve hit one of those patches. It’s not because I don’t have an overflowing plate of work in front of me. I’m also not alone. I’m fortunate to work with an incredible team both in HR and in all the areas of work throughout the company. I have books, blogs, endless resources, and now I can ask ChatGPT anything in the world. It hasn’t broken through.

People give sage advice about self-care, taking time off, surrounding myself with music, etc. There are countless ideas people are willing to share. They know the arid feeling, and there are many approaches that have worked . . . for them.

Please understand that I’m not sharing this for sympathy. It’s intended to help us all be aware that people can be wandering through their own deserts while working in the same general space as you are. They may not express it because they’re not sure that it’s safe to share, or they may fear how they’ll be viewed if they choose to be vulnerable. I see desert wandering happening all around me on a daily basis. There is no one reason or cause for people to find themselves in these dry patches. But they are very real.

The key is to be observant. Watch for signs of people feigning interest in others at work. See if someone who is normally engaged starts to pull away and spend more time on their own – more than they had in the past. See if conversations are short, curt, and elusive. It’s as if they’re getting through their day with the smallest interactions possible.

Don’t assume the worst, though. It’s far too easy for us to see some of these things going on with others and jump to conclusions about mental health, counseling, etc. Each of these should be on our radar. We need to check in on our people and get a take on how they’re doing. We have to get out of the pattern of only interacting when there is a task at hand or a behavior to address. We would be far more successful in being human ourselves by checking in on others just because. No agenda. No deadline to address. No “reason.” The reason is simple enough. They’re our people. That gives you all the latitude you need to connect.

Let me share what has worked for me . . .

I reach out to friends who are in HR who are outside my company. It’s rare that HR pros can have someone to turn to inside their company because part of the nature of their role is to be the person who steps alongside others. Others don’t pair up alongside HR.

I had two friends out of the blue reach out this week. One said, “You were on my heart today and I just wanted to check in on you.” Priceless. The other person reached out and shared a story of how something I had shared encouraged her. She just wanted me to know. Also priceless.

After I started to capture my thoughts for this post, I had a handful of other HR pros who reached out to just check in. I’m grateful that there are people who want to make themselves available to listen. It’s needed for everyone.

Deserts are going to come. You can’t avoid them. I want to encourage you to always have a circle of dear friends you can reach out to, so you can get through them. Also, be a person who’s willing to reach out and check in on others. A simple note or phone call may be just the thing they need to navigate through the sand to greener landscapes !!

Impact

This past week, I had a truly humbling and surreal experience. I received a phone call (yes, a real phone call) from a dear friend who happens to be a fellow HR practitioner. We’ve known each other for many years through various volunteer leadership roles. After seeing each other with several other volunteers, we clicked. I know her, her husband and her daughter. She knows my wife and my kids as well. Anytime I see her name pop up on my screen, I’m eager to have a chat.

After we did our usual rounds of catching up, she told me she wanted to share an email she received from one of her HR team. She prefaced her statement by letting me know that I’d be brought to tears. That’s not hard for me. I’m a bundle of emotions on a daily basis. She asked me to read the email, and then get back to her.

One quick aside for context. My dear friend has been kind enough to get access for her team to view presentations from the annual conference because they all can’t afford to go. This investment in her team is amazing. She encourages them to pick sessions that stretch them, and she’s kind enough to ask them to watch my presentations. Back to the story of the email . . .

I couldn’t wait to receive the message and dive in. Once I heard the “ping” of my inbox, I quickly opened the email. Within a few paragraphs, the tears began flowing, wetting my cheeks. It was tough to finish the touching story through blurry eyes. Her team member said how much he appreciated the opportunity to watch sessions, and he had a “Steve Browne moment.” He stated how he appreciated my open emotions, being willing to be vulnerable in front of the audience, while exhorting people to be people-first as HR practitioners.

His “moment” was when he was coaching a person out on leave, going through a devastating illness. He listened, shared, and then wept with the employee. He told my friend that this experience validated why he was in HR !! He had not been in the field until a few years ago. His career had been in a different area of the company. He told my friend, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet Steve, but if I do, I’d shake his hand.”

I called my friend, still in tears. I said, “We should set up a virtual call and surprise your team member.” She was thinking the same thing. This past Monday afternoon, at the end of the day, she and her team member were on a Teams call. I joined in. He was floored, and so was I !! I told him how moved I was by his story, and that I was grateful he was a peer in HR. It tickled me that he was caught off guard and was a bit speechless. We had a wonderful conversation, and I made sure that he thanked my friend for modeling a people-first approach to life herself.

I share this story to bring attention to the Jane Goodall quote above. We need to realize we ALL have the opportunity to make an impact on the lives of others. We need to be cognizant of that. You never know how someone who watched a video took steps that affirmed being human in HR works. I’m crushed by this story. I’m also encouraged because we are the ONLY profession that works with every employee in our company. Today, and every day going forward, choose to make a positive impact . . . on purpose.

Lifecycles

I’m sure we all experience ebbs and flows at work and in life in general. We want to hit those peak times and hold onto them fiercely before they slowly wane away. The dry times seem like endless deserts that have no horizon. On top of this, we can run through a range of emotions within moments. Laughter to frustration. Anxiety to assuredness. Loss to joy. Add to all of these shifts and movements a common factor . . . people.

You see, the same constant movements we experience personally are magnified when we add others to our day. You can’t avoid it. Rarely do your peak times match the people you encounter. Everyone is always at different points of a continuum. Within that flow, we are expected to perform and excel individually and as a whole. It’s astonishing that work gets completed and accomplished when you take into account the infinite number of nuances that each person brings to each work situation.

The reason for this descriptive framework is that we effortlessly weave in and out of these waves. Sure, we may crash into a beach or an unseen reef below the surface, but those rarely keep us from moving through whatever we’re hit with. Almost every time . . .

The past two weeks have been challenging at work because we have experienced six deaths that were connected to our company. Two were recent retirees who had decades of service with us. One was a franchise owner who built and sustained a community tradition. And, three were immediate family members of current team members.

I share this for context. One aspect of being an HR professional for my entire career is that I get the privilege of going to funerals, visitations, memorial services, and celebrations of life. It’s never easy. It is always emotional. I was able to attend three of these recently, and one will soon be scheduled. The other two occurred before I knew they happened.

This isn’t common to have so many people passing in this short span of time. It was eye-opening because it caused me to reflect on a few observations.

The first is this. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s life and to take the time to see them when they experience a loss. To be able to share a few kind words, shed some tears, and give hugs of support is priceless. To let them know you’re there for them genuinely is the most human HR can ever be.

Secondly, we know very little about each other’s lives. Even though we’re together for many hours each week, we have surface-level relationships with most people. This isn’t a right or wrong statement. It’s just a fact. If we asked people, they would tell you that the majority of people are positive connections. We may know where people live, how many people are in their immediate families, and a few of their personal interests. It is human enough for us to be okay.

Thirdly, we don’t know that many people. When I’ve attended the gatherings to remember these wonderful lives, the rooms are filled with countless people whom I’ve never met. We generally feel that we have a significant number of others in our lives. It’s true when you consider family members, neighbors, past classmates throughout the years, and professional contacts. Even with that, you enter a funeral home or a church, and the majority of people attending are unfamiliar to you.

All of these observations brought me to a new conclusion. I have always thought that HR has the opportunity to be involved in an employee’s lifecycle – the time they’re recruited until the time they leave your company. These time periods could be short or extremely long. The new conclusion I have is that the lifecycle doesn’t end when people leave. It also includes being there when people’s personal lifecycle ends.

It’s been a sobering reminder that even though I may not know everyone I work with at some deep level, I can still provide an approachable, warm, caring, and understanding human connection for them on a daily basis. None of us knows when the transition of life will come. Therefore, we can’t waste one moment getting swallowed by the various ups and downs of how we feel about each other.

I think it’s more important to let others know you are always in their corner. Remember that you can be someone who provides consistency and hopefully a regular positive impact in their lives. This week, slow down the waves of highs and lows. Take time to be intentional. Make a lasting difference in the lifecycles of everyone you encounter. In the end, they’ll impact yours as well !!

Gimme Shelter

This past weekend, my wife and I broke out and took a trip. We love doing these because it gives us a chance to recharge, and also take in different locations throughout the country. We went to Elkhart, Indiana, to tour The Heritage Trail. It’s a great way to see several small midwestern towns and take in a ton of history. In addition to the tour, you’re in one of the largest Amish communities in the United States. Being around people who intentionally choose a faith-based way of life in a world that is vastly different than them is fascinating.

We enjoyed moving from town to town following an audio tour. It took us two days to complete visiting all of the sights because we stopped often to visit shops, taste the local fare, and make sure we took pictures of everything we could. We wanted to capture as much of our trip as possible for future memories.

Before heading home on Sunday, we decided to visit one more place – the RV/MH Hall of Fame & Museums. Seriously. You may not know this, but Elkhart manufactures 80% of the RVs in the whole country !! The place is massive. We made sure to read every placard and view the 60 historic RVs. It was fascinating to learn how this unique facet of Americana evolved over the years to allow people to travel differently. People were able to venture across every road and highway while being surrounded by nature.

We thought we were done with the museum when we remembered the MH side. MH stands for modular housing or mobile homes. I specifically wanted to see this because a mobile home is part of my background. My mom and dad bought a trailer while he was still in the Army during the Vietnam War. It was just the right size for them, my younger brother and I. Sadly, my dad passed away from cancer when he was 26. My brother and I were 4 and 2 at the time. So, my mom transported the mobile home from Columbus, Georgia, to Luckey, Ohio, where our extended family lived.

I had a very modest upbringing. I never knew that at the time. Living in a house that is basically one long straight line was my reality. As Debbie and I were walking through the historical mobile homes, I paused in shock. We were standing in one that was the exact design and layout of the one I grew up in !! I couldn’t believe it. I pointed out where we had furniture placed, and memories began to rush over me. I was overwhelmed. I walked outside and was breathless for a moment before I began to sob. The warm tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I caught myself, I explained to Debbie how this was my past, and how grateful I was that my widowed, young mother was able to provide shelter for us. It was almost too much to take in.

Ironically, Debbie and I have lived in the same two-story home since 1991. Our two adult kids never knew the challenge of moving like she and I had. We had both moved multiple times over the years and were thankful for some stability.

Now that it’s just the two of us at home, we find ourselves bemoaning that we don’t have enough space for storage of things we probably don’t need to hold onto (this is mostly me, to be honest). Or, we desire to have more expansive rooms to entertain. I’ve forgotten to be grateful for the shelter I have. I could not have something at all, and I’ve completely forgotten my modest beginnings in the 60 ft. x 12 ft trailer.

In that trailer, I only knew love, joy, warmth, and adventure. We had everything we needed and more. On our commute back home, I called my mom to tell her about going through “our” trailer. Tears welled up in my eyes once again as I was able to relive those times again with her.

We all need shelter. We all need to fill those shelters with relationships, care, understanding, and safety. I know that touring the RV/MH Hall of Fame may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, keep this in mind – taking the time to get away can lead to paths, experiences, and observations you’d never expect. It’s worth the time to make these treks. I’m so glad we did !!

When I Fall . . .

The primary story everyone seems to be talking about and is enamored with is the viral video of the CEO and CPO of Astronomer at a recent Coldplay concert. I was as intrigued about it as anyone. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, and I made snide comments and shared/viewed memes and gifs that were made instantaneously. I had countless friends reach out to me to ask if I had seen the video and how it involved a person who is in HR. I’m not proud of how I responded and got caught up in the media storm. This is why . . .

I don’t condone the choices these two adults made. It captured our attention because of how they responded when they got caught. Isn’t it telling that this story of two people publicly failing garnered far more attention than the many, many challenges and atrocities happening across the planet right now ?? We yearn for salacious stories. The grittier and more gossipy, the better. This is true in situations that are in the public eye, in our workplaces, or among our families and friends.

Falling in some magnificent way grabs us far more than seeing, hearing or experiencing positive and encouraging stories. Isn’t that concerning ??

I think it is. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a world that enjoys the downfall of others as a primary source of our entertainment and our own personal value. Don’t believe me?

Attend an HR conference and just listen to the conversations happening around you. The majority of what is being shared is about difficult people who frustrate us and suck out our souls. We act as if they are so detrimental that we can’t even adequately do our job. When those stories are shared, they’re contagious. People willingly jump in and pile on. It’s like we want to exist in an ongoing game of truth or dare to see who can share the biggest dirt pile they’re facing.

I felt compelled to write this because I fail. Often. I fall down in my words, my actions, and my attitudes about others. Again, not proud about this. The story about the folks from Astronomer made me reflect. What would happen if the camera were focused on me when I have failed others? How would I react? What would the response be from my peers and friends? Would they be snarky, create memes, and smear me all over the place? Would it bring them joy to feel they had not made the same mistake(s) I have?

This eats at me. I believe we are in a field where we need to focus far more on behavior versus compliance. We are faced with far more behaviorally motivated interactions between people than any actual work occurring. We need to understand (as I shared on LinkedIn this past Friday) that:

” . . . we all need to remember that as humans, we are frail, prone to fail as well as succeed. When someone falls, let’s pick them up – not tear them down.”

The two people from Astronomer had their lives changed in an instant. It’s going to affect them personally and professionally for years to come. They’re most likely not going to recover from this for some time. This doesn’t even account for those with whom they are close or related to.

There are consequences to every decision we make in life. You can’t escape that. Even so, my hope is that someone is in their corner to lift them up after this horrific fall. I would want someone in my corner.

So, when I fall, which is inevitable, will others be there for me? I can tell you this. When others in my life fall, I will do my best to be there for them.