Tag: culture

Impact

This past week, I had a truly humbling and surreal experience. I received a phone call (yes, a real phone call) from a dear friend who happens to be a fellow HR practitioner. We’ve known each other for many years through various volunteer leadership roles. After seeing each other with several other volunteers, we clicked. I know her, her husband and her daughter. She knows my wife and my kids as well. Anytime I see her name pop up on my screen, I’m eager to have a chat.

After we did our usual rounds of catching up, she told me she wanted to share an email she received from one of her HR team. She prefaced her statement by letting me know that I’d be brought to tears. That’s not hard for me. I’m a bundle of emotions on a daily basis. She asked me to read the email, and then get back to her.

One quick aside for context. My dear friend has been kind enough to get access for her team to view presentations from the annual conference because they all can’t afford to go. This investment in her team is amazing. She encourages them to pick sessions that stretch them, and she’s kind enough to ask them to watch my presentations. Back to the story of the email . . .

I couldn’t wait to receive the message and dive in. Once I heard the “ping” of my inbox, I quickly opened the email. Within a few paragraphs, the tears began flowing, wetting my cheeks. It was tough to finish the touching story through blurry eyes. Her team member said how much he appreciated the opportunity to watch sessions, and he had a “Steve Browne moment.” He stated how he appreciated my open emotions, being willing to be vulnerable in front of the audience, while exhorting people to be people-first as HR practitioners.

His “moment” was when he was coaching a person out on leave, going through a devastating illness. He listened, shared, and then wept with the employee. He told my friend that this experience validated why he was in HR !! He had not been in the field until a few years ago. His career had been in a different area of the company. He told my friend, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet Steve, but if I do, I’d shake his hand.”

I called my friend, still in tears. I said, “We should set up a virtual call and surprise your team member.” She was thinking the same thing. This past Monday afternoon, at the end of the day, she and her team member were on a Teams call. I joined in. He was floored, and so was I !! I told him how moved I was by his story, and that I was grateful he was a peer in HR. It tickled me that he was caught off guard and was a bit speechless. We had a wonderful conversation, and I made sure that he thanked my friend for modeling a people-first approach to life herself.

I share this story to bring attention to the Jane Goodall quote above. We need to realize we ALL have the opportunity to make an impact on the lives of others. We need to be cognizant of that. You never know how someone who watched a video took steps that affirmed being human in HR works. I’m crushed by this story. I’m also encouraged because we are the ONLY profession that works with every employee in our company. Today, and every day going forward, choose to make a positive impact . . . on purpose.

Lifecycles

I’m sure we all experience ebbs and flows at work and in life in general. We want to hit those peak times and hold onto them fiercely before they slowly wane away. The dry times seem like endless deserts that have no horizon. On top of this, we can run through a range of emotions within moments. Laughter to frustration. Anxiety to assuredness. Loss to joy. Add to all of these shifts and movements a common factor . . . people.

You see, the same constant movements we experience personally are magnified when we add others to our day. You can’t avoid it. Rarely do your peak times match the people you encounter. Everyone is always at different points of a continuum. Within that flow, we are expected to perform and excel individually and as a whole. It’s astonishing that work gets completed and accomplished when you take into account the infinite number of nuances that each person brings to each work situation.

The reason for this descriptive framework is that we effortlessly weave in and out of these waves. Sure, we may crash into a beach or an unseen reef below the surface, but those rarely keep us from moving through whatever we’re hit with. Almost every time . . .

The past two weeks have been challenging at work because we have experienced six deaths that were connected to our company. Two were recent retirees who had decades of service with us. One was a franchise owner who built and sustained a community tradition. And, three were immediate family members of current team members.

I share this for context. One aspect of being an HR professional for my entire career is that I get the privilege of going to funerals, visitations, memorial services, and celebrations of life. It’s never easy. It is always emotional. I was able to attend three of these recently, and one will soon be scheduled. The other two occurred before I knew they happened.

This isn’t common to have so many people passing in this short span of time. It was eye-opening because it caused me to reflect on a few observations.

The first is this. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s life and to take the time to see them when they experience a loss. To be able to share a few kind words, shed some tears, and give hugs of support is priceless. To let them know you’re there for them genuinely is the most human HR can ever be.

Secondly, we know very little about each other’s lives. Even though we’re together for many hours each week, we have surface-level relationships with most people. This isn’t a right or wrong statement. It’s just a fact. If we asked people, they would tell you that the majority of people are positive connections. We may know where people live, how many people are in their immediate families, and a few of their personal interests. It is human enough for us to be okay.

Thirdly, we don’t know that many people. When I’ve attended the gatherings to remember these wonderful lives, the rooms are filled with countless people whom I’ve never met. We generally feel that we have a significant number of others in our lives. It’s true when you consider family members, neighbors, past classmates throughout the years, and professional contacts. Even with that, you enter a funeral home or a church, and the majority of people attending are unfamiliar to you.

All of these observations brought me to a new conclusion. I have always thought that HR has the opportunity to be involved in an employee’s lifecycle – the time they’re recruited until the time they leave your company. These time periods could be short or extremely long. The new conclusion I have is that the lifecycle doesn’t end when people leave. It also includes being there when people’s personal lifecycle ends.

It’s been a sobering reminder that even though I may not know everyone I work with at some deep level, I can still provide an approachable, warm, caring, and understanding human connection for them on a daily basis. None of us knows when the transition of life will come. Therefore, we can’t waste one moment getting swallowed by the various ups and downs of how we feel about each other.

I think it’s more important to let others know you are always in their corner. Remember that you can be someone who provides consistency and hopefully a regular positive impact in their lives. This week, slow down the waves of highs and lows. Take time to be intentional. Make a lasting difference in the lifecycles of everyone you encounter. In the end, they’ll impact yours as well !!

Gimme Shelter

This past weekend, my wife and I broke out and took a trip. We love doing these because it gives us a chance to recharge, and also take in different locations throughout the country. We went to Elkhart, Indiana, to tour The Heritage Trail. It’s a great way to see several small midwestern towns and take in a ton of history. In addition to the tour, you’re in one of the largest Amish communities in the United States. Being around people who intentionally choose a faith-based way of life in a world that is vastly different than them is fascinating.

We enjoyed moving from town to town following an audio tour. It took us two days to complete visiting all of the sights because we stopped often to visit shops, taste the local fare, and make sure we took pictures of everything we could. We wanted to capture as much of our trip as possible for future memories.

Before heading home on Sunday, we decided to visit one more place – the RV/MH Hall of Fame & Museums. Seriously. You may not know this, but Elkhart manufactures 80% of the RVs in the whole country !! The place is massive. We made sure to read every placard and view the 60 historic RVs. It was fascinating to learn how this unique facet of Americana evolved over the years to allow people to travel differently. People were able to venture across every road and highway while being surrounded by nature.

We thought we were done with the museum when we remembered the MH side. MH stands for modular housing or mobile homes. I specifically wanted to see this because a mobile home is part of my background. My mom and dad bought a trailer while he was still in the Army during the Vietnam War. It was just the right size for them, my younger brother and I. Sadly, my dad passed away from cancer when he was 26. My brother and I were 4 and 2 at the time. So, my mom transported the mobile home from Columbus, Georgia, to Luckey, Ohio, where our extended family lived.

I had a very modest upbringing. I never knew that at the time. Living in a house that is basically one long straight line was my reality. As Debbie and I were walking through the historical mobile homes, I paused in shock. We were standing in one that was the exact design and layout of the one I grew up in !! I couldn’t believe it. I pointed out where we had furniture placed, and memories began to rush over me. I was overwhelmed. I walked outside and was breathless for a moment before I began to sob. The warm tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I caught myself, I explained to Debbie how this was my past, and how grateful I was that my widowed, young mother was able to provide shelter for us. It was almost too much to take in.

Ironically, Debbie and I have lived in the same two-story home since 1991. Our two adult kids never knew the challenge of moving like she and I had. We had both moved multiple times over the years and were thankful for some stability.

Now that it’s just the two of us at home, we find ourselves bemoaning that we don’t have enough space for storage of things we probably don’t need to hold onto (this is mostly me, to be honest). Or, we desire to have more expansive rooms to entertain. I’ve forgotten to be grateful for the shelter I have. I could not have something at all, and I’ve completely forgotten my modest beginnings in the 60 ft. x 12 ft trailer.

In that trailer, I only knew love, joy, warmth, and adventure. We had everything we needed and more. On our commute back home, I called my mom to tell her about going through “our” trailer. Tears welled up in my eyes once again as I was able to relive those times again with her.

We all need shelter. We all need to fill those shelters with relationships, care, understanding, and safety. I know that touring the RV/MH Hall of Fame may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, keep this in mind – taking the time to get away can lead to paths, experiences, and observations you’d never expect. It’s worth the time to make these treks. I’m so glad we did !!

When I Fall . . .

The primary story everyone seems to be talking about and is enamored with is the viral video of the CEO and CPO of Astronomer at a recent Coldplay concert. I was as intrigued about it as anyone. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, and I made snide comments and shared/viewed memes and gifs that were made instantaneously. I had countless friends reach out to me to ask if I had seen the video and how it involved a person who is in HR. I’m not proud of how I responded and got caught up in the media storm. This is why . . .

I don’t condone the choices these two adults made. It captured our attention because of how they responded when they got caught. Isn’t it telling that this story of two people publicly failing garnered far more attention than the many, many challenges and atrocities happening across the planet right now ?? We yearn for salacious stories. The grittier and more gossipy, the better. This is true in situations that are in the public eye, in our workplaces, or among our families and friends.

Falling in some magnificent way grabs us far more than seeing, hearing or experiencing positive and encouraging stories. Isn’t that concerning ??

I think it is. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a world that enjoys the downfall of others as a primary source of our entertainment and our own personal value. Don’t believe me?

Attend an HR conference and just listen to the conversations happening around you. The majority of what is being shared is about difficult people who frustrate us and suck out our souls. We act as if they are so detrimental that we can’t even adequately do our job. When those stories are shared, they’re contagious. People willingly jump in and pile on. It’s like we want to exist in an ongoing game of truth or dare to see who can share the biggest dirt pile they’re facing.

I felt compelled to write this because I fail. Often. I fall down in my words, my actions, and my attitudes about others. Again, not proud about this. The story about the folks from Astronomer made me reflect. What would happen if the camera were focused on me when I have failed others? How would I react? What would the response be from my peers and friends? Would they be snarky, create memes, and smear me all over the place? Would it bring them joy to feel they had not made the same mistake(s) I have?

This eats at me. I believe we are in a field where we need to focus far more on behavior versus compliance. We are faced with far more behaviorally motivated interactions between people than any actual work occurring. We need to understand (as I shared on LinkedIn this past Friday) that:

” . . . we all need to remember that as humans, we are frail, prone to fail as well as succeed. When someone falls, let’s pick them up – not tear them down.”

The two people from Astronomer had their lives changed in an instant. It’s going to affect them personally and professionally for years to come. They’re most likely not going to recover from this for some time. This doesn’t even account for those with whom they are close or related to.

There are consequences to every decision we make in life. You can’t escape that. Even so, my hope is that someone is in their corner to lift them up after this horrific fall. I would want someone in my corner.

So, when I fall, which is inevitable, will others be there for me? I can tell you this. When others in my life fall, I will do my best to be there for them.

Bear Hugs !!

I don’t know about you, but I love a big hug. I’ve always been very comfortable with hugging others. To me, this is a way to show that someone else matters in your life. I’m about to go to the SHRM Annual HR Conference at the end of this month where I’ll see many friends I’ve made over the years. Even though there will be around 20,000 people milling around every inch of the convention center, I’ll make sure to stop and give out hugs willingly.

My immediate and extended family have always been huggers too. When we started to get older and spouses were introduced to the family, they were sure to be enveloped in multiple hugs whenever we got together. This is something we’ve instilled in our kids, and they in turn have kept hugs going with their friends. Whenever we see the friends of our kids, hugs are a given each time.

A few weeks ago, this show of affection took on a whole new meaning. I had an opportunity to be involved at Kids Camp at our church in a unique way. Each year, when we have camp, they have someone as the mascot. This mascot gets kids excited, and they get to roam free to meet with and interact with everyone. I was asked if I’d be this year’s mascot, and I jumped at the chance.

You see, the mascot was Grizz, a 7 foot tall bear !! I filled out the costume better than others since I stand at 6’4″. When I tried on Grizz for the first time, I was good. The suit has an internal fan that blows it up so that you’re not even close to touching the edges. What I didn’t know was that walking would be a challenge because my stride would be cut in half. It looked like I was shuffling, which took concerted effort.

On top of this, your only vantage point of viewing anything was a small, clear circle at the end of Grizz’s nose. It was about a 3-inch diameter. So, without any prior knowledge, I was kind of trapped in this suit. I was led around every step of the way by my amazing wife. She gave constant caring directions like, “Take two more steps straight. Now, turn left. Keep walking. Wave to someone on your right.” I was completely at her mercy, and without her, I was lost.

The first night Grizz made an appearance, the kids were a bit standoffish. They were overwhelmed by his size. They would wave cautiously from a distance. I understand that. It’s a giant bear that doesn’t talk, and you’re not sure who’s inside or if the bear is real. The night was challenging for Debbie and me too. We were figuring out how to maneuver, and the suit even deflated with me in it because the battery failed. I freaked out a bit !!

On night two, we hit our stride. We had a new, large battery that I carried in a backpack. Walking to and fro seemed easier as well. Debbie led me out to Grizz’s cabin at the beginning of the night. It was then that the tide turned.

The same kids who were scared and cautious the night before now screamed out my name and ran headlong into my arms. You’d hear a muffled “GRIZZ !!” followed by a soft thump up against the costume. They started talking to me, telling me stories, and making sure that I saw them. I gave out so many bear hugs that I was overwhelmed !! No kidding. As I was experiencing hug after hug, I wept inside my grizzly facade while laughing with joy at the same time.

Throughout the week, the kids became more and more comfortable. I would visit classrooms and walk throughout camp, receiving hug after hug. The end of camp was bittersweet because I knew I’d no longer put on the cumbersome bear. However, knowing that I was able to connect with so many people (including adults), filled my bucket for sure.

I wanted to share this story because I know many people who could use a hug. Too many people are struggling with a variety of life issues. Chances are they’re walking near you or working next to you, and you’re not even aware of it. This pulls at my heart.

I know that it’s not always possible to give a physical hug to people. You should always respect people’s personal space. You can, however, give a kind word, encourage someone, or slow down to listen to what’s going on in their lives. You can give an emotional hug with little effort. People are aching. You may be aching !!

Don’t just walk by someone indiscriminately this week. Pause and notice the wonderful folks around you. Give them a bear hug of some sort. It may be just what they need !!

Shoot the Cannons !!

A few weekends ago, my wife and I were fortunate to attend a wedding. It was for the oldest daughter of one of my best friends. We’ve known Grace since she was a toddler, and it was an honor to be able to see her reach this milestone. My wife Debbie and I are now the older couple that gets invited to weddings. We knew few people versus when we were younger, and we knew the majority of everyone attending. I even remember commenting on the older couples who used to come to the weddings we went to. We swore we’d never become one of those old couples ourselves. It’s amazing how time is such an equalizer in our lives.

The ceremony was wonderful. To see the youth, the genuine love between Grace and Cole, and hear my best friend officiate the ceremony as both father and pastor was perfection. As the new couple was announced, someone set off a confetti cannon, and they were showered with tons of colored paper. The crowd erupted with joy and surprise. It was completely unexpected and also perfectly timed. I leaned over to Debbie and wishfully commented, “I need one of those. Wouldn’t it be epic ??”

We enjoyed some appetizers and a few adult beverages along with conversations at our table. It was great to catch up with our friends, a fellow “older couple” who we’ve known for decades. Later, we came to the point where the wedding party was introduced. Each pair of groomsmen and bridesmaids did their awkward choreographed dance moves. When the newlyweds came into the reception hall, another confetti cannon blasted over them gloriously. I exclaimed once again how cool it was to my wife and the couple sitting next to us. We stayed for food, ceremony, opening dances, and the wedding cake. When the festivities really started to kick in, we sauntered out . . . older couple move.

On Tuesday of the following week, an Amazon package mysteriously arrived on our porch. We didn’t remember ordering anything. When I got home from work, I opened the package with anticipation. Inside it were six confetti cannons !!!!! So geeked !! Our friends sitting next to us bought them and sent them to me and said, “Use them well.”

Looking at my new package of confetti cannons, I wondered. What if we approached seeing the people we work with, and the people in our lives, with the same excitement and surprise as when a confetti cannon erupts? How fun would that be? If we all looked at the opportunity to see others with exuberance and joy, the workplace and the world would be a better place.

If we’re honest, most people don’t look forward to seeing others. There are exceptions, but my experience has been that we spend far too much time talking poorly about others than enveloping them in celebration. This needs to shift. We’re missing a great opportunity to change the day for everyone we meet.

If we did this, the people at work, home, and everywhere we encounter others would be just as surprised as we were at the wedding. To take a few moments and improve someone else’s day just because they showed up would cause a work and HR revolution. We’d turn from a profession that meets with people at some of their lowest points to a role that starts with encouragement and delight.

This week, pretend you’re the confetti cannon and greet every person you meet with exhilaration and animation !! Make them the sole focus of your day, just for a few seconds or minutes. Trust me, you’ll brighten both their day and yours.

A Splash of Color !!

It has been amazing to see how the workplace has evolved over the years. When I started my career, I was expected to wear a suit and tie. The only way I could add some “flair” was to wear either a white or a blue Oxford shirt. Stunning !! I worked for a Fortune 100 company, and formal was the culture from the executive suite to the front line roles in the corporate environment.

In my second role in manufacturing, I was able to stretch the boundaries a bit and wear slacks with a dress shirt. We didn’t wear ties because they could get caught in machinery. The employees on the plant floor wore work pants from a uniform company. We provided the clothing because they soiled every inch of them daily. In two other roles, I was back to ties, dress shirts, and slacks. You could get a bit creative with your tie choice, but not too much. The message of the workplace for the first 20+ years of my career was uniformity and sameness. It was what was seen as the expected norm.

The advent of “casual Friday” was revolutionary !! As companies, we lifted the strict expectations of dress codes to allow (take a deep breath here) – jeans. Only on Friday. Only. Every other day we went back to the corporate wardrobe because, let’s be honest, jeans aren’t professional. Right ???

Most people never pushed back to question the norms of dress. I understand there are some environments where clothing is a safety issue, and I get uniforms too (working in the restaurant industry). This isn’t a call for determining a right or wrong when it comes to attire.

Over the past several years, I decided to push the boundaries. It was overdue and I wanted to see how others would respond. You see, I dig patterns and color. Always have. The years and years when I was expected to wear solid colors and blend in felt restrictive. So, I decided to break out the paisley shirts I have worn while making presentations at HR conferences. I complemented these shirts with jeans every day and Chuck Taylor Converse shoes. The shoes are also a mix of styles and colors.

Once I started wearing the clothes that reflected who I am as a person, I felt like I was finally in my own skin. It may seem to feel like a surface issue, but trust me, it’s not. If people can wear clothing that shows their personality, they’re more likely to perform. There’s one other key to this approach.

No dress code !!

I don’t expect others to don paisley shirts, jeans, or Chuck Taylors. If they wanted to match my choice of style, then fine. However, it’s not necessary. People should be able to express themselves within the norms of their company’s culture. If someone wanted to come in wearing a tie while I have some wild, purple pattern on, then that works.

I’ve worn these shirts so regularly now that if I come to work in a solid shirt, people ask me what’s wrong. I get made fun of and often hear that others would never wear my shirts, and I’m completely cool with that. When others see me in my colorful garments, they know that I’m bringing my entire self to work.

We tell people to bring their entire selves to work if . . .

“Those said selves don’t detract from the norms of professionalism, decorum or allow for any sense of individuality or diversity. Keep people in line because it’s ALWAYS worked.”

Think of how we find ourselves spending our days as HR pros. We end up policing those who are exceptions, and then develop 24 policies for each exception to make sure that everyone stays in their place. At the same time, we want people to thrive and perform. It seems a bit counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

This week, decide to add a splash of color. Do what works for you. If it’s through your clothing, excellent. If it’s putting some personal item that has meaning for you out on your workspace, fantastic. Whether it’s a major shift or a minor one, make the change to personalize the culture. Then, let others know they can do it as well. It doesn’t matter whether you work in the field, a manufacturing plant or an office. Allow people to express who they are.

Trust me, it will free you and them to enjoy their work even more. If an exception comes up, then do something radical – Go talk to the person. Let them know the parameters they can move within, and then trust they’ll do the right thing.

I need to go and get my new paisley shirt ready for work. How about you?

Patch and Repair

Spring is upon us and I’m geeked !! Seriously. I love the rain, the storms, and the inevitable greening of the lawn. Some of my best time is spent out working in my yard. I enjoy trimming, mowing, planting, and rearranging our landscaping. Sure, there are days when there’s too much rain or the sun is scorching, but that is to be expected.

When the lawn wakes from its dormant winter slumber, you see how it fared from the prior season. You’re hopeful that it will grow back into one lush, consistent carpet. However, that rarely happens. There is that initial tinge of frustration and a heavy sigh. But, then the juices start flowing and the joy of yardwork begins for another year.

I went to Costco and bought two bags of patch & seed, and felt I would have enough to cover any parts of the lawn that didn’t look like they were going to fill in. It took me quite a bit of time to carefully prep the areas and then spread the material. I was quite satisfied with my progress until I looked around. It was definitely a good start, but I could see that more seed would be needed. I was able to get the first batch spread before an overnight rain which made the work worth it.

Sunday meant another trip to Costco with a more measured assessment of what I’d need. The first two bags were used in the front yard. I didn’t even get a chance to take a peak at the backyard. This resulted in more of an investment and the purchase of five additional bags. I wasn’t sure if it was an overreach, but I wanted to make sure the job could be accomplished.

Our entire yard has very mature trees. They take in a ton of water any time they can. I can’t fathom how massive the root systems running throughout our yard are. They have to encompass a majority of our 1/2 acre lot. That means patches appear and the front yard took a beating. I ended up spreading five of the seven bags of patching material in the bare spots seemingly everywhere. It was a bit disheartening because I still wanted to get to the backyard, and hoped I’d have enough to cover those patches.

Thankfully, I did. The seven bags sufficed. What you need to keep in mind is that 85% of our lawn is in great shape. The 15% that needed attention was in rough shape, but it didn’t mean that I needed to reconstruct the entire lawn (thankfully). Now, I’m hoping that the predicted storms from tonight water the patches, the seed will take root, and new growth will cover the bare areas. A couple of hours of work could result in that wonderful, lush carpet I seek.

This most recent project is similar to work. We’re in a challenging time in the workplace, and honestly, the world. More than I’d care to admit I have heard co-workers exclaim how they feel everything is f****d !! They openly use the word you think it is. That doesn’t offend me. What is concerning is that the bare patches they’re working on have convinced them the entire lawn is shot.

We get so laser-focused on what’s “wrong” with the work we’re responsible for that we miss seeing any other part of the work landscape. A friend and fellow co-worker of mine had this amazing sign she put on her workstation so that when you enter her office, it’s the first thing you see. It gives you a different “F” to use.

Everything is Figureoutable !! It’s a great phrase and I love that it’s a made-up word because it makes you pause and think. If we take this stance to how we do work and how we choose to interact with each other, then I think we’ll make sustainable progress. This frames your day in a constructive way. It allows you to find out what needs to be patched and repaired.

Yes, those patches may take a heavy lift of time and attention, but they are not the entire system of how a company functions. They may represent the 15% of my lawn that needed some care and love. Everything isn’t f****d. It just isn’t. We can’t allow the allure of challenge and negativity to suck us down into the muck.

This week see how you can see things as figureoutable. Get the materials you need to cover the bare spots, and then see how your good work will pull the workplace together !!

A Good Nap

This time of year is always exciting for me. I love watching the NCAA tournaments – both the men and women. It’s so fun to see schools participate in an elimination tournament with the simple premise – win and stay in. Lose and, well, better luck next year. I find myself taking in as many games as possible. Debbie often shares that she becomes a basketball widow over these three weeks.

On top of all of this excitement, my favorite team, Xavier University, made the field !! They had a tougher road than most because they had to win a play-in game to even get to the official first round. The game Wednesday night started around 10:00 pm, and we went to a local haunt with family friends to watch the action. Xavier won and it meant we got home around midnight. Of course, I had to work the next day. Thursday was very full at work and was a bit mentally taxing. So, I was tired coming home and still had things to do. Friday is always an early day with my Men’s Group meeting at 6:30 am. Another full day of work, and then our daughter and our granddog were coming home to visit !!

Xavier’s 2nd game was on Friday night starting at 10:00 pm again. I fell asleep after dinner for a quick nap with the hope that I’d be able to stay up and enjoy the game. I did and it meant going to bed at 12:30 am. I was on fumes. My Saturday was packed with a 2-mile walk with Wags in the early morning, making homemade apple cinnamon monkey bread for breakfast, a visit to several stores including a Costco run, and then . . . I was done.

I couldn’t keep going. I was becoming frustrated and conversations were tense for no reason. Little things started to tear at the edges of my exhaustion. I wanted to keep going but I just couldn’t. I somberly told Debbie, “I need to lie down.” I went out to our living room to my favorite sofa and collapsed. I didn’t have an alarm set or any expectation of when I’d wake up. Two magnificent hours later, I felt the heavy breathing of Wags blowing gently on my face.

I awoke renewed, refreshed, and in a much better mood overall. I’m amazed how much better I feel after a nap as if I’m surprised by this result. It’s as if I never remember how great it is. I need to keep this in my memory bank.

I don’t think I’m much different than most other people. We fill our days with as much activity as possible. At the same time, we complain we never get enough done. We’re on the go constantly while feeling we don’t accomplish nearly enough. It’s a vicious cycle that only hurts us. Just like forgetting the joy of having a nap, we overlook that running ourselves into the ground isn’t good for us.

How does driving ourselves to the maximum limit make us more effective? Seriously. Why do we convince ourselves that activity is far more valued than balance? Our bodies, thankfully, are designed better than our brains. If we don’t pay attention to the signs our body gives us, it will shut us down anyway.

I don’t think we can continue to yearn for more balance, when we don’t make the efforts to even attempt to attain a modicum of balance. Naps are just one option for us to make sure we are at our peak on a more consistent basis. Let’s listen to our bodies and fight the pace that life tries to use to entrap us.

I need to get back to the next round of games, take Wags on one last walk before he heads back to Indy, and . . . I hear that couch calling out to me !!

Get A Car Wash !!

I’ve lived in the Midwest for the vast majority of my life. I enjoy the four seasons. They’re never as equally balanced as one would hope but that’s okay. We’ve had one of the more robust winters this year that I can recall. We’ve had more snow, more arctic blasts, more ice, and more gray than normal. It’s funny to me that if we have a year where we don’t get much snow we wish we had more. Now that we’ve had a significant and lengthy winter we complain that it’s too much.

One of the side effects of a full winter is salted roads. The wonderful road crews do all they can to keep roadways clear. This is often daunting because the weather rarely cooperates in the manner it is predicted to. They lay down tons and tons of road salt to assist in melting the snow, ice, and slush. This mixture rarely stays on the roadway due to the volume of never-ending traffic. Vehicle after vehicle speed through the concoction which inevitably ends up encasing your car in a thick layer of white, brown, and mucky corrosive material. It’s as if your car is a blank canvas waiting to be plastered with the evidence of winter.

I have a long commute to work from my home. It takes anywhere from forty-five minutes to an hour plus depending on the volume of people joining me on the road. If you have construction or an accident along the way, the time only increases. Throw on top of this the various winter precipitation of snow, freezing rain, or sleet, there’s no telling how much time you’ll be behind the wheel. With my extensive commute, you can imagine how my car’s exterior starts to appear throughout the winter.

The below-freezing temperatures that held us in an endless grip for weeks on end only meant you couldn’t get your car washed. The dirt, grime, and sludge just grew in depth while creating an abstract painting that became a hardened shell. It becomes a nuisance because, even though I’m fortunate to have a garage at home, each time I try to walk around the car my coat and clothing get salt transfer. It only seems to stain or smear when you try to wipe it off. It never gets completely removed.

This weekend, the temperature sneaked just above the freezing point. I decided to chance it and get my car and my wife’s car washed. We have a local business just around the corner from where we live that does a great job. It’s an automatic, ever-moving chain that pulls your car through the various brushes and blasts of water and soap. When I pulled up, I saw that I was one of many who were trying to take advantage of their services as well. The trip through the car wash took less than two minutes. When I exited the building, I could swear I heard our cars sigh with relief. They were clean once again !!

A car that keeps moving through the mix of winter precipitation and road gunk is a lot like working in HR. One of the challenges of being in this field is that we get to experience and hear the dark side of work. This may include the various “life” situations people are facing or the general negative conversations that abound throughout the workplace. It can be, and is, draining. You hope for uplifting and encouraging conversations to be the norm, but they are unfortunately the exception.

I’m not trying to be a downer, and you need to understand that I am generally an overly positive person most of the time. However, even I get caked with layer after layer of road salt at work. It comes with the job and is as inevitable as taking a winter commute to and from work. If we’re not cognizant of our exteriors being constantly covered in road spray, then we too become encased in a hardened shell . . . and heart.

We need a car wash. We need to make sure to take a few minutes on a regular basis to wipe out the darkness that tries to envelop us. Too many others around us don’t see that they too are covered in their own blanket of dirt. When the majority of people start their days worrying about what is sure to go wrong, then you’re already facing an uphill battle. Lay on top of this a poor conversation in the hall, the emotions tied to senseless media and social media opinions with the pressures of performing, and you get folks who are buried.

It’s imperative that we’re more aware of the environment we’re in. We need to wash off whatever tries to hold us captive so that we can be at least one bright spot in the days of others. I’m not asking you to ignore the challenges and divisiveness swirling around us. I’m just encouraging you not to let it encompass or define you. It shouldn’t. Remember, a quick trip can wash away months and months of crud (that’s an official HR term by the way).

This next week, make time to get a rinse. You’ll breathe that sigh of relief as well, and it will allow you to move forward with confidence once again.