Tag: Difference

What’s Your Origin Story ??

I’m a big fan of the superhero movie genre !! I’ve seen most of them during my lifetime. The constant flow of them recently brings out the HR Nerd in me. Whether they’re an Oscar-worthy movie or not, I watch them. I love a great origin story when you find out how the superhero gained his/her powers. I was an avid comic book reader when I was younger as well. Every time I read panel after panel, I would find myself engrossed in the story that continued to unfold throughout the book.

Origin stories usually involve some quirky situation, accident, or supernatural experience that transforms someone from being an average person to someone given unique gifts. Once they realize they have these new powers, there’s a phase when they’re not sure how to utilize them. There’s an experimentation effort so they can harness their abilities. This takes time. It includes successes and failures along the way.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve only been a human resources professional for my entire career. I chose to be in HR. My start in the field isn’t very dramatic. I was a failing student in college as I pursued a science- and math-based profession. My mother saw I was struggling, and she stated the obvious, which I was blind to. She told me to be in a field where I was able to work with and impact people. It’s what I had always done up to that point in time. It wasn’t glamorous or life-changing . . . or so I assumed.

Fast forward 19 years into my career after graduating from Ohio University . . .

I had been in HR and had five different HR roles during that time. Then, out of the blue, I received a call from an HR peer. It was a typical day. Nothing significant was going on. I was fulfilled and content in my job and was nearing my 10th anniversary with the firm. Here’s what transpired:

“Hey, Steve. How are you doing?”

“Hi, Sandi. I’m great. And you?”

“Doing great. I wanted to reach out to let you know that I gave your name to someone who is looking for an HR Director. You’ll know the company for sure. I told him you could help him find some candidates to consider.”

This wasn’t an uncommon thing for me to do. I replied, “I’d be glad to help if I can. What’s the company’s name?”

“It’s LaRosa’s,” she stated calmly. I was stunned. “That’s odd,” I questioned. “Isn’t that where Donna works?” Sandi came back with, “Well, she did. However, she left a few months ago. Now they’re looking for someone new. You should consider it. I think you’d be a great fit there.”

I thanked her and told her I’d follow through with her request. Later that day, I received an email from the COO of LaRosa’s. He mentioned Sandi’s name and asked if I could send him some resumes of people I’d recommend. I told him that I’d be glad to pull some together and would send them over by the end of the day. I did send him about seven resumes of peers I knew who were looking that I had gathered at the HR Roundtable I facilitated. The following day, I was unsettled. I hadn’t sent my own resume over to be considered. I was content where I was . . . sort of. The company was changing, and leadership was about to transition to people that I wasn’t very confident in. So, I took a moment to compose a new email and sent my resume to LaRosa’s.

Kevin, the COO, responded right away and asked if I could come in for an interview. Later that week, I was sitting in a booth in their anchor restaurant across from him. We engaged in a very comfortable conversation, and he asked how I approached HR. This was easy for me to express. I told him that I felt HR should be available for every employee. He then asked the most unique question. “Do you know why we’re sitting in a restaurant booth for this interview?” he asked. I replied, “I assume this is where interviews occur at the pizzeria.”

He nodded his head and followed up with, “How would you feel about going out and being in our pizzerias?” I laughed and then stated, “Do I even need a desk? I’d rather be out with the people than sitting in an office if that would be okay with you.” He smiled and then set up a 2nd interview for me. I met with several other people a week later for a series of interviews. The following Monday, I received a call from Kevin and a job offer. I was ecstatic. This company was an iconic tradition in Cincinnati. I was eager to jump in.

After giving a tearful two-week notice to my boss at the consulting firm, I joined LaRosa’s. Kevin and I went to lunch my first day and sat in the same booth where we had met. As we were talking and I was learning, he shared something very poignant with me.

“You know what, Steve? Sandi, the person who contacted you, was interviewing for the role we just hired you for,” Kevin stated. “What ??” I asked, perplexed. “It’s true. She was the choice of our CEO. He really wanted her,” he shared. I sat there quietly. “Do you know why she didn’t get the role?” Kevin followed up. “I have no idea,” I replied. “Remember that question I asked you about being out in the pizzerias?”

“Sure, I remember. It seemed like a logical question to me,” I shared. “That wasn’t her comfort zone. She wanted to do HR from her desk,” Kevin retorted. “I don’t fault her. I appreciate her honesty. I was looking for someone who would be comfortable out in the stores.”

“That’s amazing,” I stated. “One more thing,” Kevin added. “She recommended you.” I sat there stunned. My friend was interviewing for the role for which she recommended me !! To put this into context, I’ll be celebrating my 20th anniversary this November at LaRosa’s. Sandi was my origin story.

I have never liked that so many in HR say they fell into the field or found themselves in human resources by accident. That implies that it was almost a career mistake. How awful is that? You don’t hear anyone else say they fell into sales or ended up in operations by some fluke. I am proud to have been an HR practitioner for 40 years . . . ON PURPOSE !!

What’s your origin story in HR? How did you get the opportunity to be in the best profession I know? What happened to position you in the only field that has an opportunity to impact the lives of every company employee?

I hope you embrace who you are as an HR pro. Be the superhero of your company by making people-first practices your superpower. Shed your secret identity, and step into who you are, or can be, intentionally. Own what you do because it matters.

Story postlude:

A few years ago, I was able to go to a gathering of senior HR folks. It was Sandi’s last week at the job she took instead of LaRosa’s. She was retiring. I bought pizza for her and the group to celebrate and thank her. I wouldn’t have had the career I have without her. I shed some tears, thanked and hugged her. I shared that she was my origin story. It was perfection.

Let Someone Know

I grew up in a house brimming with encouragement. My parents did this with ease. Sure, my brother and I received a word of correction or discipline every so often. However, it was because of our behavior each time. It wasn’t because my parents were on some unfounded rant of anger. Looking back on how fortunate we were to be raised in this way brings me to something I’d like to share with you.

My dad grew up on a farm. He was a hard worker his entire life. He would regale us with stories of how he and his twin brother were out taking care of the livestock and working in the fields when they were toddlers. We knew he was exaggerating, but when you saw how he worked as an adult, you had to wonder if some of those tales contained nuggets of truth. My mother also grew up on a farm where she was expected to pitch in and work. She did more traditional tasks within the house with her sisters while her two brothers were out in the fields handling the more physical tasks.

Even though they were both intentional, dedicated workers in their professional careers, one thing that distinguished them was how they would always express their devotion for one another. I can’t recall a single day when my dad didn’t embrace my mom warmly, give her a kiss, and say, “I love you. Always” before he headed off to work. Not once. It didn’t matter if he had a challenging day ahead of him or if he wasn’t feeling in the best of moods. He followed this pattern like clockwork. My brother and I would make faces of disgust as teenagers should while also admiring our dad’s open expression.

In addition to this daily ritual, both of our parents made sure to regularly praise my brother and me out loud during family dinners for any accomplishment we had attained. It didn’t matter if it was personal, academic, musical, or athletic. Each conversation was filled with genuine interest and encouragement. We were never pressed too harshly or told we were failing when that happened. You knew they were always in your corner. After I graduated from high school, I’d call back on our landline (a pre-cell phone world) to check in. My mom would inevitably answer, and she made sure that my dad picked up another phone so both of them could talk to me at the same time. The same support I had experienced each night at dinner began seamlessly to be shared again, even though I was miles and hours away.

This same pattern continued after college and through my adult life. When I got married, my wife started to be included in this circle of verbal encouragement the moment she met them. This was true when we had kids. They were bathed in words of affirmation, joy, love, and laughter. My brother and his family also experienced their ongoing affection, reassurance, and optimism. Our dad passed away in 2020, and our mom hasn’t missed a beat. She texts each grandchild every Tuesday with a word of encouragement. Every. Tuesday. They’re all adults themselves with careers and expanding families of their own.

I make sure to call my mom, now using my cell phone, at least weekly. She starts every conversation with, “Tell me what’s happening.” She wants to know what’s going on in my life first. I also check on her, but I never get the first pass to ask her about her life in the metropolis of Ada, Ohio. Once I do, she tells me about all of the people she’s encountered. Each one of them drips with the encouragement she has given them naturally. After every call, my bucket is filled once again just because we took the time to chat.

I was struck by the approach my parents modeled today. You see, we live in a world where encouragement is the exception rather than the rule. Most people go through their days not knowing, feeling, or experiencing anything other than discouragement, despair, anger, or frustration. People don’t hear words of affirmation or encouragement. We are all bombarded by countless waves of divisiveness that attempt to get us to dig in, take sides, and then berate anyone who dares to disagree with us.

I’ve never accepted this approach to life or others. Yes, I experience stress, disappointment, and angst. There are even rare times when these factors swallow me, which results in a blue funk that I’m not proud of. I try my best not to fall into that trap, but it happens. What gets me through is a mix of my faith and the knowledge that I can let others know I believe in them. Modeling the behavior my parents modeled for me is how I choose to live each day, even if I fall.

I make sure to embrace my wife and tell her I love her before heading to work. I do my best to encourage all those I encounter throughout my day, regardless of how busy or full I am. I’ll drop people a note, share a song of the day, or give them a call just to check in. I’m sharing these examples only to note this – Let people know how much they matter and that you’re thinking about them. Do this on purpose and out loud.

My wife and I are fans of the TV show Resident Alien. In one episode, the main character, Harry Vanderspiegle states, “A human lifespan can last 85 years, or more, if they are lucky. It may seem long to humans, but when compared to the age of planet Earth, a human life would only be 141 seconds long.” Our time here isn’t as long as we think.

Be the person who breaks through the noise. Be the person who is showing a more positive way to approach life and others. Be the one who refuses to live life negatively. Your words could pull them out of a dark place at the perfect time. They’ll never know unless you’re proactive. Use your words. Lift others up. Let them know !!

The Art of Reaching Out

Have you gone through dry seasons in life ?? No matter what you try, things still seem disconnected and distant. Any effort you make to break free from this funk just seems to pull you in deeper and deeper. I know I’m not alone in this. Not by a long shot !!

Quick disclaimer . . . I’m not in one of those seasons (right now), but what happened over the last week because of several interactions compelled me to write about this.

You see, I’ve had MANY folks reach out to me this week. More than normal. I’ve always been a person who seeks and enjoys connecting with people. It doesn’t really matter what the circumstance or setting is. I just love having rich conversations with other humans. If you are in the midst of a challenge, I’m interested. If you are contemplating how to move forward in the midst of change, I’m interested. If you’re burned out and feel at the end of your rope, I’m interested. If life is full, joyous, and exuberant, I’m interested.

Not kidding. I believe in the art of reaching out. I hold true to this so much that I’ll keep reaching out even if you don’t respond right away. People today feel more isolated and alone than any other time I can remember. That’s ironic because we have the ability to be more connected than at any other point in the history of humanity. I find that the majority of digital connection is one-sided. It doesn’t have to be, but that’s how we’ve chosen to use the platforms. They’re far more built on proclamations instead of interactions.

The conversations I’ve had over the past week with people have been emotional, raw, deep . . . and needed. You could see people’s shoulders relax and drop before a word was ever spoken. Just to have someone sit across the table and know they were going to be heard was enough. They knew that I was going to be present and attentive, which is all they really wanted . . . from someone. I say that because they shared how they had reached out to others, and no one offered up a chance to talk. Their lives were too busy at the moment, or at least that’s what they shared.

I had conversations about challenging life situations, people who are considering changing jobs, and fun stories about recent adventures someone had taken. Each one of them took time. It was time well spent whether the conversation took ten minutes or an hour and a half. You see, the only true thing I have on this planet to offer others is my time. Yes, I can share advice or opinions, although they may not be what the other person is seeking. The thing others desire most from us is our time.

Please note – this isn’t specifically about HR (although I think the same practice should be how we all approach HR); it’s about genuinely embracing others. Acknowledging that we need each other – all the time. I’m grateful for each person who reached out to me to chat. It’s been magnificent. I reached out to others as well.

I can’t encourage you enough to develop this skill. It matters more than you know. You may never see the full impact of the time you intentionally took. That’s not the point. It’s about others. It always has been !! This week, start practicing the art of reaching out. It may be just the thing that someone needed (including yourself !!)

A Fresh Coat of Paint

This past weekend, my wife and I traveled to Indianapolis to see our daughter Melanie. This is a normal occurrence for us. This past Christmas, I gave her a coupon book for a year’s worth of workdays. It’s always fun to visit and get our hands dirty. Melanie bought her house four years ago. We knew it would be an adventure because the house is over 100 years old !!

We spent much of the first year of her homeownership on major projects like painting, landscaping, laying flooring, improving walls, and cleaning out items the prior owner left behind throughout the house and garage. Since then, we’ve been adding touches to the house that she wants. It’s amazing to see the transformation from all we’ve done.

One of the last projects that needed to be tackled was her buffet in the dining room. It’s a beautiful piece, but it looked worn out. The first task we worked on was replacing the janky mix of glass and plexiglass in the four doors on the front of the buffet. We bought some wicker, measured it to size, and then stapled the material to the frames. It went very well . . . with one exception.

Did you know that staples come in different sizes ?? I didn’t. This matters because some of the staples we used broke through the frame. This chipped the paint and left the sharp ends of the staples protruding through the wood. To address this, we visited her local hardware store and found staples that were smaller but did the job. We loved the wicker. The chips in the paint were discouraging, though.

So, it was my task to get the buffet back in working order. Debbie and Melanie worked on organizing her basement, which took a detail-oriented focus (not my strength). I folded the edges of the staples that had broken through back into the frame and filled all of the holes with wood putty. There was a large section on the top of the buffet that had water damage. This needed a significant patch of wood putty. After the putty had dried, it was time to paint.

The buffet had been a dark, chocolate brown. We didn’t want to match the color. Melanie thought it needed a bit more vibrancy and life. We found paint called Leather Brown. We knew it could make a stark difference. We were right !!

With each brush stroke, the old, weathered buffet began to shine. The gloss from the paint popped as the sun shone through the adjacent windows. The small knicks, past water stains, and paint drops of other colors all disappeared. The surfaces looked new. You could imagine the furniture letting out a sigh of relief, knowing that it was going to have a renewed appearance. The first coat looked brilliant, and I was hopeful that’s all it would take. Not quite. There were some areas I missed, and some of the putty was peaking through. A second coat was needed. Not a problem. Thirty minutes later, every blemish had vanished. It was so refreshing to see how it turned out. Melanie was geeked to see it in its new state !!

As I was waiting for the paint to dry between coats, I went outside to do some trimming of plants in her back alley. It gave me time to think about how something so simple as a fresh coat of paint was so effective in giving the buffet new life. Couldn’t the same be said of our employees ??

Each one of us (Yes, we’re included) gets knicks, scrapes, and damage over the years. That just comes with time working together. It’s interesting, when you hear managers talk about their people, you hear how broken they are. It’s never the case, but it becomes the perception they have of others. We want to fall back on traditional methods to fix people, like performance reviews, coaching, or disciplinary action. We convince ourselves that if we have a stern enough talk and approach, people will snap to a new state of awareness and performance excellence. It’s folly. It always has been.

Our employees are like my daughter’s buffet. What they need, and long for, is our time, care, and attention. We have the opportunity to invest in our people so they can be renewed. Intentionally giving others our time is like giving them a fresh coat of paint. Each minute and hour we spend starts to make all those damage marks fade and eventually disappear. We need to quit thinking that building relationships is a waste of our time. Just the opposite. Every time we can clear our schedules, avoid distractions, and listen to those we work with, the company improves.

This week, get out your wood putty, painter’s tape, paint brush, and a fresh, new color. Sit down with your people on purpose and start adding that fresh coat. Trust me, they’re waiting for you to do this !!

Your Legacy . . .

When I look over my life and career, I am humbled by the number of people I’ve been fortunate to meet. Some people you meet for mere moments. Others you have as part of your life for years. I tend to lose sight of this too often due to the constant hustle and bustle swirling around us. That shouldn’t happen. I don’t believe in chance encounters or fate. I believe the people who come in and out of our lives happen on purpose.

I’m feeling reflective because of some news I received in mid-December. I wanted to share my thoughts about this wonderful person at the time, but I needed to wait until her family made the news public themselves.

My dear friend, Sandy Manjura, passed away in mid-December. She and I are the same age, and it crushed me when I heard the news. Sandy and I met as volunteer leaders for our SHRM chapters. She lived in the Akron area, and I was in Cincinnati. The moment we met, our friendship started. She exuded genuine interest and energy whenever she met anyone. Fortunately, we connected and volunteered together for years through the Ohio State Council and the Ohio State SHRM Conference committee. When she was active in the Akron chapter, she invited me to speak to the chapter often. While there, she introduced me to tons of other great people who also became dear friends. I met her partner, Scott, as well as her wonderful black lab – Hoagy. Whenever I’d visit, we’d make time to catch up and talk about life, music, and changing the world of HR.

I cherished her friendship. As our volunteer roles changed and came to an end, we didn’t get to see each other as often. We’d go to State Conferences and pick up right where we had left off before. Sandy was a rocker !! She loved all forms of music and would listen to Iron Maiden while jogging. She was an avid golfer and lived life to the fullest. The world is a little less bright with her passing.

One of my favorite memories was when I was chair of the Ohio SHRM State Conference with the theme “HR Rocks !!” I had a surprise to open the conference and needed someone to help me get ready. The only two people I let in on my secret were my best friend and roomie, Fred, and Sandy. I was planning to dress up as AC/DC legendary guitarist, Angus Young, to take the stage, but I needed help getting all of my costume ready. Sandy was all in and helped me don his famous schoolboy attire. She kept lookout for me, and she whisked me backstage to get ready to bring down the house. Her words for me were, “This is perfection. Get out there and set the stage !!” We both wept a bit because it really was perfection.

I share her story for a couple of reasons. First, everyone should know my friend. If you had known Sandy, I know your life would have been impacted positively just as mine was. We should always share good stories about the great people in our lives while they live and celebrate them when they pass. Secondly, we need to know that we live out the Maya Angelou quote listed above, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

We can’t keep getting bogged down by the things around us that seem wrong. We can’t keep being distracted by those people in our lives who do all they can to drain our souls. The vast majority of humans on this planet are amazing once you choose to let them into your lives on purpose. They deserve our time and attention far more than those who try to tear others down.

I don’t want any person who passes through my life to be overlooked, taken for granted, or brushed off. I don’t know how long I’ll be on this planet, and neither do any of us. Therefore, it matters to give others my time willingly and without expectation. You never know. You may be THE person that someone needs to encounter just at the right time. You don’t want to miss that.

Sandy touched my life and the lives of many others. I will hold her in my heart and cherish her friendship and legacy. She rocked, and I was fortunate to have had her in my life. When I hear that next heavy chord emanate from a speaker, the first person I will think of is Sandy !!

Remember to Play !!

Do you remember when you were a kid ?? I can remember pretty far back. My earliest solid memories were from when I was five years old and in kindergarten. It was my first experience with school, and it had the perfect mix of learning and play. Heck, even the lessons were laced with fun activities. Throw in daily recess, and you have sheer perfection. There was structure, but it never felt confining.

Fast forward fifty-six years to the present day. As a “mature” adult, you’re not expected to play anymore. Sure, it’s acceptable to be a fan of multiple sports teams. But, that’s the extent of what people feel still falls in the realm of adult behavior. If you participate in sports recreationally, you aren’t pressing the boundaries too much. Other adults will support your efforts while also bemoaning how their body can no longer perform like it used to.

Board games are also deemed okay if there is a family or neighborhood gathering. They can help pass the time if you also have enough to eat and drink. These games must be limited to short bursts of time because you don’t want people to slip into that younger state where they used to laugh and act more carefree. How awful would that be ??

It saddens me that the art of play has been replaced with the myth of being a responsible adult. When did “responsible” become defined as reserved, demure, and lifeless? Why did we get lulled into a state of stress, frustration, anger, and disappointment while calling that success? A telltale comment I received after giving a presentation at an HR conference helped prod me to respond. The person stated that my style was sophomoric. As a fellow senior HR practitioner, he didn’t know why I spent time using toys for my examples instead of concrete business practices. He was also confused as to why I spent the majority of the presentation focusing on people. He wanted to focus on business !! That was far more important. I venture to say, this person doesn’t play.

I play. Always have. Always will.

My wife Debbie and I co-host an over-50s group at our church. She does an amazing job organizing activities for each night, and I am the ringleader who makes things come to life. Whenever we meet, we incorporate play, arts & crafts, friendly competition, and storytelling. We get a huge turnout of people, and I’ve heard them share with others how much fun they had for a few hours. You see, they forgot how to play . . . but they still know how.

Recently, I also had an opportunity to speak to a class full of 5th graders on the importance of being good. I brought my props (toys), which caused them to squeal when I used them. I also challenged them to a fierce smiling contest where everyone had to hold their smiles with teeth bared and not laugh or giggle. It was spectacular !!

I play at work as well. I go out of my way to connect with as many team members as I can daily. I ask how they’re doing and respond in a radical fashion by staying to listen regardless of what they share. I also regale them with stories from my weekend or encounters with team members from other locations.

Here’s what I know . . .

People who play enjoy themselves more than those who don’t. Laughter is healthy for you and helps you retain information. Not taking yourself seriously reduces stress, frustration, and anger.

I’m sure there are many who feel this approach isn’t professional or befitting of someone who is a Chief People Officer. That’s cool. I’m good with it. I know the relationships I have bring the best out in others because I play.

This week, as we take a break to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, pause and reflect. Are you content or wound tightly? Are you consumed with worry, or are you eager to see what lies ahead? I could keep going, but I think you get the gist.

I hope your time with friends and family is meaningful, full, and memorable. Take time to be thankful and step out a bit to play. It could be a great start to a new set of habits and approach to life, personally and professionally !!

Make the Call !!

A few weeks ago, I received a message on LinkedIn from an HR peer. We had been connected for a few years since she attended the SHRM Annual Conference in Chicago. She was kind enough to attend one of my sessions and introduced herself at a book signing I did.

All of that is wonderful in itself. Her message tugged at my heart because she told me that she and her co-worker were getting burned out. She wondered if I had any ideas that could help her get inspired. She explained that they were just worn out.

Her name is Lauren, and she’s been connected to the HR Net forum since she attended the conference. I think it took courage to reach out to someone you barely knew to ask for help. So, I decided to call her.

I didn’t feel a return message on LinkedIn would do the trick. We set up a time, and I gave her a ring while on my commute home. I have a daily drive of 45 minutes to an hour to get to my office from my house.

When Lauren picked up, we talked as if we had known each other for years. I learned about her family because she was in the process of dropping off her son for soccer practice. I mentioned she didn’t have to chat if she was doing that. She replied that she didn’t want to miss this opportunity. I was humbled and a bit perplexed by that. I felt I was putting her out. He made it to practice easily, and we continued to talk.

We were able to talk the entire commute. I did give her ideas to consider, but mostly I wanted to encourage her. As a fellow HR practitioner, I understand that the work we do can be challenging, overwhelming, and draining. People are a mix of messy and wonderful (just like us). At times, HR can threaten to crush you if you allow the darkness to encompass you. I explained to Lauren that this conversation was the best possible use of my time. It made my day !! I also shared that I’d continue to check in with her to make sure she knew she had someone in her corner.

Too many HR people try to do the good work we do as if they’re on an island. That may be true inside your company, but it isn’t true in general. As humans, we were not designed to be alone. We are meant to be connected and together. I know that Lauren’s story and situation are far too common in our profession. The difference is that she took a chance to reach out.

When I got home, she texted me pictures of her kids, their Halloween costumes, and her wife. I was moved that she took my word on how important it is for us to make human connections with HR peers. Before I wrote this, I checked in to see how she was doing and asked if I could share our conversation. She gave me an update on how some things are getting better while she’s working on other things at the same time. She was geeked that I was going to share this.

This week, reach out. Give someone a call. Make sure you have at least one person in your corner. Trust me. When you do, you’ll see how much it makes your day !!

Festival Culture !!

This weekend, Fall finally arrived. It is my favorite season by far !! The leaves change colors, the temperature drops, and you break out your favorite sweatshirt. You spend more time outside even though there’s less daylight. It’s the perfect season in every possible way.

Another aspect of the arrival of Fall is the abundance of festivals. It seems like people can take any singular item and launch a festival. Around here, there are multiple Oktoberfest celebrations, an Apple Festival, a Sauerkraut Festival, the simply named Fall Festivals, and Pumpkin Festivals. My wife told me about one such Pumpkin Festival in the city that adjoins ours. It’s appropriately called Operation Pumpkin, and I wanted to make sure to check it out. She did as well, but she needed to attend a baby shower of one of our cousins. She encouraged me to go anyway. I’m so glad I did !!

Our granddog, Wags, was visiting once again, and he loves to get out and about. He’s very comfortable being social. We made the 15-minute drive over to Hamilton, Ohio, and saw the Festival seemingly pop up out of the ground. We were diverted from the main street running through the city because the festival had taken over. Once we parked, I removed the ever-eager Wags from the backseat of my Equinox and quickly grabbed his leash because he was so excited to join the throng.

There’s no mistaking where the festival started because a display of MASSIVE pumpkins was at the event’s entry point. People were gathered around, all with their phones out, taking pictures. After that eye-catching spectacle, you fell in with the hundreds of people inching their way up and down the street. Booth after booth made up a boundary for everyone on either side. There were crafts, food trucks, beer, tschotskes, a glass blowing exhibit, and countless pumpkins. Artisans were cordoned off in the middle of the street as they did live carving on some of the behemoths.

Wags and I were enthralled with the sights, sounds, smells, and genuine camaraderie of everyone there. People from all walks of life filled every possible space. They ranged from infants to the elderly. You came across people whose arms were so filled with purchases that they could hardly control their finds. Wags was the center of attention, both young and old. I made sure to have him meet some people who were chair-bound, and just wanted to show and receive some affection.

Also, even though Hamilton is a fairly large city, I saw people I knew. That even included one of the teachers from our kids’ daycare who had known them as infants !! She gave me the biggest hug. I couldn’t believe she even recognized me, as the kids hadn’t seen her for 20+ years. It was a wonderful surprise. The others were folks from our church and some HR peers.

As we sat on a wall in front of the County Courthouse to take a break and eat some lunch, I was taken by something unique to festivals. Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone. There was a general sense of joy and engagement. People had a myriad of choices. The variety was available so that you weren’t stuck with just one activity, food choice, or purchase option. If something didn’t pique your interest, you could move to the next booth.

The conversations happening were vibrant, excited, and passionate. You’d hear about people’s experiences and recommendations of what they were seeing. It was as if they didn’t want anyone to miss what they saw. It was encouraging and welcoming. It made me wonder what would happen if our workplaces adopted a festival culture. I’m not suggesting we have booths, food trucks, and carnival rides (although that would be cool). However, if we were intentional about having activities that mattered and interesting conversations, I think we’d see a shift. Festivals are focused on people providing services. Workplaces are focused on work, work, deadlines, stuff, and work. People are an afterthought.

We’re overdue in turning the tide regarding our culture and our approach toward people. When we know we have people who want to be involved, contribute, and add value, why wouldn’t we do everything we could to have an inviting culture ?? People flock to festivals just because they’re happening. I think that is how we should look at having a colorful, energy-filled, and inviting culture in our workplaces.

When I Fall . . .

The primary story everyone seems to be talking about and is enamored with is the viral video of the CEO and CPO of Astronomer at a recent Coldplay concert. I was as intrigued about it as anyone. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, and I made snide comments and shared/viewed memes and gifs that were made instantaneously. I had countless friends reach out to me to ask if I had seen the video and how it involved a person who is in HR. I’m not proud of how I responded and got caught up in the media storm. This is why . . .

I don’t condone the choices these two adults made. It captured our attention because of how they responded when they got caught. Isn’t it telling that this story of two people publicly failing garnered far more attention than the many, many challenges and atrocities happening across the planet right now ?? We yearn for salacious stories. The grittier and more gossipy, the better. This is true in situations that are in the public eye, in our workplaces, or among our families and friends.

Falling in some magnificent way grabs us far more than seeing, hearing or experiencing positive and encouraging stories. Isn’t that concerning ??

I think it is. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a world that enjoys the downfall of others as a primary source of our entertainment and our own personal value. Don’t believe me?

Attend an HR conference and just listen to the conversations happening around you. The majority of what is being shared is about difficult people who frustrate us and suck out our souls. We act as if they are so detrimental that we can’t even adequately do our job. When those stories are shared, they’re contagious. People willingly jump in and pile on. It’s like we want to exist in an ongoing game of truth or dare to see who can share the biggest dirt pile they’re facing.

I felt compelled to write this because I fail. Often. I fall down in my words, my actions, and my attitudes about others. Again, not proud about this. The story about the folks from Astronomer made me reflect. What would happen if the camera were focused on me when I have failed others? How would I react? What would the response be from my peers and friends? Would they be snarky, create memes, and smear me all over the place? Would it bring them joy to feel they had not made the same mistake(s) I have?

This eats at me. I believe we are in a field where we need to focus far more on behavior versus compliance. We are faced with far more behaviorally motivated interactions between people than any actual work occurring. We need to understand (as I shared on LinkedIn this past Friday) that:

” . . . we all need to remember that as humans, we are frail, prone to fail as well as succeed. When someone falls, let’s pick them up – not tear them down.”

The two people from Astronomer had their lives changed in an instant. It’s going to affect them personally and professionally for years to come. They’re most likely not going to recover from this for some time. This doesn’t even account for those with whom they are close or related to.

There are consequences to every decision we make in life. You can’t escape that. Even so, my hope is that someone is in their corner to lift them up after this horrific fall. I would want someone in my corner.

So, when I fall, which is inevitable, will others be there for me? I can tell you this. When others in my life fall, I will do my best to be there for them.

Leave Your Mark

My wife is incredible in many ways !! Yes, I’m biased and am good with that. She is very creative but she would deny that. She has a dedicated craft room in our house that has been her place to make things come to life. She has been a rubber stamper for decades. This hobby has resulted in countless handmade cards for birthdays, weddings, the birth of kids, graduations, and Christmas cards.

They are true works of art. I know many people who have kept every Christmas card she has made for years, and some put them out every year as part of their Christmas decorations. Debbie would tell you that she sees the ideas of others and recreates them. So, I’ll give her that. Let’s call her a structured creative. If you got to know her, you’d see that this description fits well. One of the many other amazing facets of her personality is her joy in structure. She has lists of things to do all over the house.

Every day I’m amazed that she chose to be with me because I represent the opposite of almost every aspect of how she approaches life. I tend to live in the moment. Very little surprises me, and I’m more comfortable adapting on the go. I’m creative as well, but I’d describe my methods as having flow, movement and involving a variety of styles. I like almost every iteration of how art is presented. I am comfortable if things are abstract, modern, distinctly drawn, or classical. Each one has its value.

Eight years ago, when my first HR book was completed, Debbie asked if I’d like to have bookmarks to give out to people. I was floored and excited at the same time. I didn’t know what we could come up with but I was in !! She upped my level of enthusiasm when she suggested we make tie-dye bookmarks. I couldn’t even conceive how this could be accomplished. I was tickled when I found out that we’d mix our creative approaches by using her rubber stamps along with alcohol-based inks to make the tie-dye patterns along with my idea of variety. We put the ink on transparency film (like what we used to use on overhead projectors).

We started to stamp the clear film cut into the perfect shape for a bookmark together. Debbie took one color of ink and dabbed the applicator before applying a beautiful, linear pattern on her piece of film. I took my applicator and put three dots of different colors on it and then smeared the ink all over my film. I continued to follow what felt right as she methodically constructed her set. When we looked up to pause, I had ten done and was moving forward when she commented, “How can you come up with patterns so quickly?” I shrugged and said, “I just see what I want to make and then try it.”

She then made a bright, executive decision. The step after the ink stamping was mounting the film on white, thick paper for backing and strength. She suggested that I continue with the stamping and she’d assemble them after that. Now, please note, her stamped bookmarks were stunning and crisp. We kept them along with my mish mash of variety, and I loved giving them out to people.

Since then, we made a new batch for use at the SHRM24 annual conference. We followed the process of a separation of tasks that we were both responsible for. Very quickly we had constructed 100+ bookmarks. I just found out that I’m speaking again at SHRM25, and I’m grateful for the opportunity. We just bought a new set of supplies and the manufacture of a brand new set of bookmarks will soon be started.

Let me back up just a moment . . .

More than a story of how we take different paths toward creativity, Debbie also had another stunning idea for making these handmade beauties. She said, “If people are nice enough to get one of your books, wouldn’t it be nice to leave behind a little bit of you for them to remember?” How freaking cool is that ??!!

You see, she wanted me to leave a mark. That thought was incredibly astute and she may not have even been aware of the weight of what she had suggested. It was so powerful because as people, we leave our mark on others every time we encounter them whether we mean to or not.

If you ignore someone or push them off to the side because you’re too busy for them, that leaves a mark. If you are pleasant to others to their face and change your story for how you feel with another audience, you leave a mark. When a task that isn’t yet completed takes more of your focus and attention than the people around you, you have left another mark.

We don’t see this or even acknowledge it. It’s time we did. Choose instead to be someone who leaves each interaction as one that is positive, encouraging and meaningful. Leave your mark in such a way that your impact makes their day better. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture. It can be something simple. Something . . . like a bookmark.