Borders

This past weekend brought a welcome break in our weather. The summer was sweltering, which made it challenging to do much work outside. Since we had some fall-like weather, I decided to get out in the yard and finish a project that I had started over a year earlier.

Our daughter had something unique piled up in her garage. The back left corner of it was filled with landscape pavers. The stack was giant not only because they were a foot wide each, they also rose four feet above the floor. She was barely able to get her car in the garage without getting too close to the sprawling mass. The person who had owned the house two owners before her had used them all over the yard. Now they were just sitting there gathering spiderwebs and grime.

I asked her if I could take them to our house and use them to edge our beds. She thought that would be a great use of them, and told me she’d bring a load back home the next time she visited. When she came a few weeks later, I was concerned because the weight of the pavers really showed in the back of her SUV. Her wheels were struggling because she tried to bring so many. The repurposing of the pavers was wonderful. We had wanted to give the beds in the back and right side of our house more definition.

We used all of the pavers she brought in the first trip quickly. We only had enough to do the bed in the backyard that bordered our back patio. We thought we would have had more than enough to finish everything. I suggested we measure the next bed, and told her that I’d drive up to get the next load because my car was older. With everyone’s schedule in our two families, more time passed before I could get more pavers. I stacked them on my front patio to be used for the side yard.

The seasons changed, and I couldn’t get out to create the border I had wanted to finish quickly. That brings us back to this weekend. With a gap in time and nothing on my schedule, it was overdue to finish the landscape border. It took all afternoon, but it was worth it !! I had to work the edge to make sure the grass was back far enough to set the pavers in place. I added topsoil under each paver to make sure they would be level as I laid them end to end. Having a dedicated space for our flowers and shrubs to thrive was just what I was hoping for.

Borders remind me of how we should look at the roles and responsibilities we have for employees within our companies. I believe in this approach versus the traditional job descriptions we’ve used for decades. Most job descriptions are nothing more than a list of tasks we develop to justify the jobs people fill. They rarely describe what and how people truly do their daily work.

Writing something that provides people with parameters for them to work is essential. If people have enough room to grow, develop, and perform, then they’ll be able to thrive, just like our plants. Isn’t that better? If people had the latitude to stretch, use their strengths, and be creative in a broader system and environment, think how much better our companies would be.

This week, take a lesson from my landscaping adventure. Get rid of the roots and uneven ground your people have been given with lists of tasks only meant to confine. Instead, level things out and give them a border that allows them to be the talented people they’ve always been !!

Onward

A week ago, I was able to experience something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time !! My daughter, Melanie, and I went to a WNBA game. She lives in Indianapolis, so of course, we had to become Indiana Fever fans. We were following the team before they were transformed with the addition of Caitlin Clark.

Basketball is something that has been a shared passion for my daughter and me. I played all through high school, and even considered playing at the collegiate level. I was geeked when my daughter caught the basketball bug at an early age herself. She also played through high school, and I was fortunate to get to coach her for a few years when she was just learning the game. On top of all of this, we became fierce Xavier University basketball fans because we live in greater Cincinnati. We attended several games over the years, and they are some of my favorite memories of doing things together.

The Fever game was a special surprise as a birthday gift from Melanie. We had to wait eight months for the game to happen. During that time, Clark became injured. She has helped transform the WNBA along with other new talents. It’s exciting for people to finally get on board to support and see these amazing women perform. They play a pure form of basketball that is a joy to watch.

Melanie was bummed that Caitlin Clark wouldn’t be playing when we went. Unfortunately, the Fever had lost two other key players to injury. They’ve had to add some new players on short-term contracts to do their best to weather this string of injuries. I told her that I was bummed as well, but the key to me was spending time with her watching another game in person.

The environment, arena, and crowd were electric. There was a buzz the moment we parked the car in the attached parking garage. Every single person had Fever branded gear on. Every. One. I had never seen anything so compelling. You didn’t know the extent of how much people knew the game, the players, or how deeply they were fans. However, they seemed to be fully in by their excitement.

We visited the team store and bought some gear of our own. We were as caught up in the fervor as everyone else. As we made it to our seats, we were set with snacks and an incredible view. We took in every moment and cheered the Fever on through the ups and downs of the action. In the end, the team lost. We were hoping for a better outcome, but we were far from disappointed. The outcome never mattered. The time with Melanie did.

The entire time we spent together, I was reminded that we were surrounded by people moving . . . onward. The Fever had lost several of their players, but they still played with the intent of winning. They could have let their circumstances stop them. They could also have just put in little effort to compete. The fans could have chosen not to attend because the players they expected to see weren’t going to take the court. After the loss, the fans could also have sworn to never support the team again. I’m fairly sure that won’t happen.

How is it for you and others at work? How much of your day is spent stuck in the various circumstances you’re facing? When have you found yourself stagnant and unable to move because of all that life is handing you?

We need to move onward. We need to surround ourselves with others who will support and encourage us. The circumstances of life are always going to be unpredictable and unforeseen. There’s no escaping it. Moving forward through whatever comes our way is sure to be challenging. It may take time and concerted effort, but you can do it. You can.

Onward.

Wandering . . .

Have you ever hit a dry patch at work? In life?

It just seems that no matter what you do, you keep wandering with little hope of an end in sight. As you feel this happening, you buckle down and work even harder, convincing yourself you can muster the fortitude to push through. What you encounter is more sand, endless dunes on the horizon, and the sweltering sun pounding down on you.

I’ve hit one of those patches. It’s not because I don’t have an overflowing plate of work in front of me. I’m also not alone. I’m fortunate to work with an incredible team both in HR and in all the areas of work throughout the company. I have books, blogs, endless resources, and now I can ask ChatGPT anything in the world. It hasn’t broken through.

People give sage advice about self-care, taking time off, surrounding myself with music, etc. There are countless ideas people are willing to share. They know the arid feeling, and there are many approaches that have worked . . . for them.

Please understand that I’m not sharing this for sympathy. It’s intended to help us all be aware that people can be wandering through their own deserts while working in the same general space as you are. They may not express it because they’re not sure that it’s safe to share, or they may fear how they’ll be viewed if they choose to be vulnerable. I see desert wandering happening all around me on a daily basis. There is no one reason or cause for people to find themselves in these dry patches. But they are very real.

The key is to be observant. Watch for signs of people feigning interest in others at work. See if someone who is normally engaged starts to pull away and spend more time on their own – more than they had in the past. See if conversations are short, curt, and elusive. It’s as if they’re getting through their day with the smallest interactions possible.

Don’t assume the worst, though. It’s far too easy for us to see some of these things going on with others and jump to conclusions about mental health, counseling, etc. Each of these should be on our radar. We need to check in on our people and get a take on how they’re doing. We have to get out of the pattern of only interacting when there is a task at hand or a behavior to address. We would be far more successful in being human ourselves by checking in on others just because. No agenda. No deadline to address. No “reason.” The reason is simple enough. They’re our people. That gives you all the latitude you need to connect.

Let me share what has worked for me . . .

I reach out to friends who are in HR who are outside my company. It’s rare that HR pros can have someone to turn to inside their company because part of the nature of their role is to be the person who steps alongside others. Others don’t pair up alongside HR.

I had two friends out of the blue reach out this week. One said, “You were on my heart today and I just wanted to check in on you.” Priceless. The other person reached out and shared a story of how something I had shared encouraged her. She just wanted me to know. Also priceless.

After I started to capture my thoughts for this post, I had a handful of other HR pros who reached out to just check in. I’m grateful that there are people who want to make themselves available to listen. It’s needed for everyone.

Deserts are going to come. You can’t avoid them. I want to encourage you to always have a circle of dear friends you can reach out to, so you can get through them. Also, be a person who’s willing to reach out and check in on others. A simple note or phone call may be just the thing they need to navigate through the sand to greener landscapes !!

Impact

This past week, I had a truly humbling and surreal experience. I received a phone call (yes, a real phone call) from a dear friend who happens to be a fellow HR practitioner. We’ve known each other for many years through various volunteer leadership roles. After seeing each other with several other volunteers, we clicked. I know her, her husband and her daughter. She knows my wife and my kids as well. Anytime I see her name pop up on my screen, I’m eager to have a chat.

After we did our usual rounds of catching up, she told me she wanted to share an email she received from one of her HR team. She prefaced her statement by letting me know that I’d be brought to tears. That’s not hard for me. I’m a bundle of emotions on a daily basis. She asked me to read the email, and then get back to her.

One quick aside for context. My dear friend has been kind enough to get access for her team to view presentations from the annual conference because they all can’t afford to go. This investment in her team is amazing. She encourages them to pick sessions that stretch them, and she’s kind enough to ask them to watch my presentations. Back to the story of the email . . .

I couldn’t wait to receive the message and dive in. Once I heard the “ping” of my inbox, I quickly opened the email. Within a few paragraphs, the tears began flowing, wetting my cheeks. It was tough to finish the touching story through blurry eyes. Her team member said how much he appreciated the opportunity to watch sessions, and he had a “Steve Browne moment.” He stated how he appreciated my open emotions, being willing to be vulnerable in front of the audience, while exhorting people to be people-first as HR practitioners.

His “moment” was when he was coaching a person out on leave, going through a devastating illness. He listened, shared, and then wept with the employee. He told my friend that this experience validated why he was in HR !! He had not been in the field until a few years ago. His career had been in a different area of the company. He told my friend, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet Steve, but if I do, I’d shake his hand.”

I called my friend, still in tears. I said, “We should set up a virtual call and surprise your team member.” She was thinking the same thing. This past Monday afternoon, at the end of the day, she and her team member were on a Teams call. I joined in. He was floored, and so was I !! I told him how moved I was by his story, and that I was grateful he was a peer in HR. It tickled me that he was caught off guard and was a bit speechless. We had a wonderful conversation, and I made sure that he thanked my friend for modeling a people-first approach to life herself.

I share this story to bring attention to the Jane Goodall quote above. We need to realize we ALL have the opportunity to make an impact on the lives of others. We need to be cognizant of that. You never know how someone who watched a video took steps that affirmed being human in HR works. I’m crushed by this story. I’m also encouraged because we are the ONLY profession that works with every employee in our company. Today, and every day going forward, choose to make a positive impact . . . on purpose.

Lifecycles

I’m sure we all experience ebbs and flows at work and in life in general. We want to hit those peak times and hold onto them fiercely before they slowly wane away. The dry times seem like endless deserts that have no horizon. On top of this, we can run through a range of emotions within moments. Laughter to frustration. Anxiety to assuredness. Loss to joy. Add to all of these shifts and movements a common factor . . . people.

You see, the same constant movements we experience personally are magnified when we add others to our day. You can’t avoid it. Rarely do your peak times match the people you encounter. Everyone is always at different points of a continuum. Within that flow, we are expected to perform and excel individually and as a whole. It’s astonishing that work gets completed and accomplished when you take into account the infinite number of nuances that each person brings to each work situation.

The reason for this descriptive framework is that we effortlessly weave in and out of these waves. Sure, we may crash into a beach or an unseen reef below the surface, but those rarely keep us from moving through whatever we’re hit with. Almost every time . . .

The past two weeks have been challenging at work because we have experienced six deaths that were connected to our company. Two were recent retirees who had decades of service with us. One was a franchise owner who built and sustained a community tradition. And, three were immediate family members of current team members.

I share this for context. One aspect of being an HR professional for my entire career is that I get the privilege of going to funerals, visitations, memorial services, and celebrations of life. It’s never easy. It is always emotional. I was able to attend three of these recently, and one will soon be scheduled. The other two occurred before I knew they happened.

This isn’t common to have so many people passing in this short span of time. It was eye-opening because it caused me to reflect on a few observations.

The first is this. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s life and to take the time to see them when they experience a loss. To be able to share a few kind words, shed some tears, and give hugs of support is priceless. To let them know you’re there for them genuinely is the most human HR can ever be.

Secondly, we know very little about each other’s lives. Even though we’re together for many hours each week, we have surface-level relationships with most people. This isn’t a right or wrong statement. It’s just a fact. If we asked people, they would tell you that the majority of people are positive connections. We may know where people live, how many people are in their immediate families, and a few of their personal interests. It is human enough for us to be okay.

Thirdly, we don’t know that many people. When I’ve attended the gatherings to remember these wonderful lives, the rooms are filled with countless people whom I’ve never met. We generally feel that we have a significant number of others in our lives. It’s true when you consider family members, neighbors, past classmates throughout the years, and professional contacts. Even with that, you enter a funeral home or a church, and the majority of people attending are unfamiliar to you.

All of these observations brought me to a new conclusion. I have always thought that HR has the opportunity to be involved in an employee’s lifecycle – the time they’re recruited until the time they leave your company. These time periods could be short or extremely long. The new conclusion I have is that the lifecycle doesn’t end when people leave. It also includes being there when people’s personal lifecycle ends.

It’s been a sobering reminder that even though I may not know everyone I work with at some deep level, I can still provide an approachable, warm, caring, and understanding human connection for them on a daily basis. None of us knows when the transition of life will come. Therefore, we can’t waste one moment getting swallowed by the various ups and downs of how we feel about each other.

I think it’s more important to let others know you are always in their corner. Remember that you can be someone who provides consistency and hopefully a regular positive impact in their lives. This week, slow down the waves of highs and lows. Take time to be intentional. Make a lasting difference in the lifecycles of everyone you encounter. In the end, they’ll impact yours as well !!

Gimme Shelter

This past weekend, my wife and I broke out and took a trip. We love doing these because it gives us a chance to recharge, and also take in different locations throughout the country. We went to Elkhart, Indiana, to tour The Heritage Trail. It’s a great way to see several small midwestern towns and take in a ton of history. In addition to the tour, you’re in one of the largest Amish communities in the United States. Being around people who intentionally choose a faith-based way of life in a world that is vastly different than them is fascinating.

We enjoyed moving from town to town following an audio tour. It took us two days to complete visiting all of the sights because we stopped often to visit shops, taste the local fare, and make sure we took pictures of everything we could. We wanted to capture as much of our trip as possible for future memories.

Before heading home on Sunday, we decided to visit one more place – the RV/MH Hall of Fame & Museums. Seriously. You may not know this, but Elkhart manufactures 80% of the RVs in the whole country !! The place is massive. We made sure to read every placard and view the 60 historic RVs. It was fascinating to learn how this unique facet of Americana evolved over the years to allow people to travel differently. People were able to venture across every road and highway while being surrounded by nature.

We thought we were done with the museum when we remembered the MH side. MH stands for modular housing or mobile homes. I specifically wanted to see this because a mobile home is part of my background. My mom and dad bought a trailer while he was still in the Army during the Vietnam War. It was just the right size for them, my younger brother and I. Sadly, my dad passed away from cancer when he was 26. My brother and I were 4 and 2 at the time. So, my mom transported the mobile home from Columbus, Georgia, to Luckey, Ohio, where our extended family lived.

I had a very modest upbringing. I never knew that at the time. Living in a house that is basically one long straight line was my reality. As Debbie and I were walking through the historical mobile homes, I paused in shock. We were standing in one that was the exact design and layout of the one I grew up in !! I couldn’t believe it. I pointed out where we had furniture placed, and memories began to rush over me. I was overwhelmed. I walked outside and was breathless for a moment before I began to sob. The warm tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I caught myself, I explained to Debbie how this was my past, and how grateful I was that my widowed, young mother was able to provide shelter for us. It was almost too much to take in.

Ironically, Debbie and I have lived in the same two-story home since 1991. Our two adult kids never knew the challenge of moving like she and I had. We had both moved multiple times over the years and were thankful for some stability.

Now that it’s just the two of us at home, we find ourselves bemoaning that we don’t have enough space for storage of things we probably don’t need to hold onto (this is mostly me, to be honest). Or, we desire to have more expansive rooms to entertain. I’ve forgotten to be grateful for the shelter I have. I could not have something at all, and I’ve completely forgotten my modest beginnings in the 60 ft. x 12 ft trailer.

In that trailer, I only knew love, joy, warmth, and adventure. We had everything we needed and more. On our commute back home, I called my mom to tell her about going through “our” trailer. Tears welled up in my eyes once again as I was able to relive those times again with her.

We all need shelter. We all need to fill those shelters with relationships, care, understanding, and safety. I know that touring the RV/MH Hall of Fame may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, keep this in mind – taking the time to get away can lead to paths, experiences, and observations you’d never expect. It’s worth the time to make these treks. I’m so glad we did !!

When I Fall . . .

The primary story everyone seems to be talking about and is enamored with is the viral video of the CEO and CPO of Astronomer at a recent Coldplay concert. I was as intrigued about it as anyone. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, and I made snide comments and shared/viewed memes and gifs that were made instantaneously. I had countless friends reach out to me to ask if I had seen the video and how it involved a person who is in HR. I’m not proud of how I responded and got caught up in the media storm. This is why . . .

I don’t condone the choices these two adults made. It captured our attention because of how they responded when they got caught. Isn’t it telling that this story of two people publicly failing garnered far more attention than the many, many challenges and atrocities happening across the planet right now ?? We yearn for salacious stories. The grittier and more gossipy, the better. This is true in situations that are in the public eye, in our workplaces, or among our families and friends.

Falling in some magnificent way grabs us far more than seeing, hearing or experiencing positive and encouraging stories. Isn’t that concerning ??

I think it is. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a world that enjoys the downfall of others as a primary source of our entertainment and our own personal value. Don’t believe me?

Attend an HR conference and just listen to the conversations happening around you. The majority of what is being shared is about difficult people who frustrate us and suck out our souls. We act as if they are so detrimental that we can’t even adequately do our job. When those stories are shared, they’re contagious. People willingly jump in and pile on. It’s like we want to exist in an ongoing game of truth or dare to see who can share the biggest dirt pile they’re facing.

I felt compelled to write this because I fail. Often. I fall down in my words, my actions, and my attitudes about others. Again, not proud about this. The story about the folks from Astronomer made me reflect. What would happen if the camera were focused on me when I have failed others? How would I react? What would the response be from my peers and friends? Would they be snarky, create memes, and smear me all over the place? Would it bring them joy to feel they had not made the same mistake(s) I have?

This eats at me. I believe we are in a field where we need to focus far more on behavior versus compliance. We are faced with far more behaviorally motivated interactions between people than any actual work occurring. We need to understand (as I shared on LinkedIn this past Friday) that:

” . . . we all need to remember that as humans, we are frail, prone to fail as well as succeed. When someone falls, let’s pick them up – not tear them down.”

The two people from Astronomer had their lives changed in an instant. It’s going to affect them personally and professionally for years to come. They’re most likely not going to recover from this for some time. This doesn’t even account for those with whom they are close or related to.

There are consequences to every decision we make in life. You can’t escape that. Even so, my hope is that someone is in their corner to lift them up after this horrific fall. I would want someone in my corner.

So, when I fall, which is inevitable, will others be there for me? I can tell you this. When others in my life fall, I will do my best to be there for them.

Can I Tell You Something ??

As I sit down to type this post, I’m exhausted. My wife and I just returned from the SHRM Annual Conference in San Diego, and some time away we tacked on the back end of the event visiting San Francisco. We enjoy visiting places once we land in a destination. We do all we can to pack in as much sightseeing and local flavor that we can. The bookends of flying are always somewhat adventurous even if most things fall into place.

Each year I attend the annual conference, I am renewed and rejuvenated !! There is one primary reason for this rekindling, and that is spending time with my HR peers from around the globe. I’ve been going to the conference for 15+ years and have been fortunate to be a presenter at the last 11 years. I am geeked to see familiar faces, and get a jolt of energy if someone screams out my name, “STEVE !!!” from across a crowded hallway. There are countless smiles, hugs, and laughs shared from the moment I touch ground in each host city.

I know that I’m fortunate to have that occur. I don’t take it for granted. I also want those who attend to know that who they are and what they do matter to me, and to the lives of the people they touch. HR can be thankless work. This arena gives me the opportunity to gather people around, encourage them, and hopefully renew their interest in the industry that has been my chosen field for the past four decades.

The constant shining reality of what SHRM has always been about for me is the people. That has been true for the 25+ years I’ve been involved – through thick and thin.

Walking through the convention center in San Diego is daunting. It stretches on and on in one continuous line. Sessions happened in hotels that were at each end of the center as well as throughout the two floors of the center itself. I give you that mental picture as a framework for what occurred.

I get stopped often when moving through SHRM Annual. Having been a regular for some time, I’ve met thousands of people over the years. This year took on a whole new level of personalization that I wasn’t seeking or expecting. It’s humbling to me when people come up to me and share stories. You never know what you’re going to hear, and each one fills me with intrigue and anticipation. You see, if people are willing to take time to open up, be vulnerable, and share what’s on their hearts, then they will always get my undivided attention.

When I was stopped, the conversation usually began with, “Can I tell you something ??”

The stories shared often brought me to tears and left me speechless. I heard one after another from people who told me how they had been moved and affected by my presentations. Many told me they were on the verge of quitting HR, and then changed their minds. Others shared how they were just wandering the halls and unknowingly sauntered into one of my sessions.

I heard tales of how they bought toys for their office or for their staff after seeing the menagerie I travel with. They talked about how they found joy once again in being an HR practitioner.

I was shaken to my core. Often, I shared a hug and could barely squeak out a “Thank You” before I wept. Wave after wave of emotions hit me at every turn. I can’t capture in words how much these conversations mean. My favorite ones are people who confide they’ve seen me speak for several years but didn’t know if I’d be open to meeting them in person.

I assured each person that I’m a peer and just a guy in HR. I cherish the chance to meet anyone who’s willing to connect and share even the smallest hello.

If you’ve read my blog at all over the years, you’ve heard me state how important it is to connect as fellow HR professionals. I mean it. People who do good work are aching for someone to come alongside them. Each time I meet an old friend for a warm embrace or a new one for a handshake, I’m anchored.

This week, reach out to someone as an HR peer. Give them just a few moments of your time during your hectic week. Don’t worry about what to say, or what you’ll cover. Start simply with . . .

“Can I tell you something ??” . . . and watch what happens !!

Bear Hugs !!

I don’t know about you, but I love a big hug. I’ve always been very comfortable with hugging others. To me, this is a way to show that someone else matters in your life. I’m about to go to the SHRM Annual HR Conference at the end of this month where I’ll see many friends I’ve made over the years. Even though there will be around 20,000 people milling around every inch of the convention center, I’ll make sure to stop and give out hugs willingly.

My immediate and extended family have always been huggers too. When we started to get older and spouses were introduced to the family, they were sure to be enveloped in multiple hugs whenever we got together. This is something we’ve instilled in our kids, and they in turn have kept hugs going with their friends. Whenever we see the friends of our kids, hugs are a given each time.

A few weeks ago, this show of affection took on a whole new meaning. I had an opportunity to be involved at Kids Camp at our church in a unique way. Each year, when we have camp, they have someone as the mascot. This mascot gets kids excited, and they get to roam free to meet with and interact with everyone. I was asked if I’d be this year’s mascot, and I jumped at the chance.

You see, the mascot was Grizz, a 7 foot tall bear !! I filled out the costume better than others since I stand at 6’4″. When I tried on Grizz for the first time, I was good. The suit has an internal fan that blows it up so that you’re not even close to touching the edges. What I didn’t know was that walking would be a challenge because my stride would be cut in half. It looked like I was shuffling, which took concerted effort.

On top of this, your only vantage point of viewing anything was a small, clear circle at the end of Grizz’s nose. It was about a 3-inch diameter. So, without any prior knowledge, I was kind of trapped in this suit. I was led around every step of the way by my amazing wife. She gave constant caring directions like, “Take two more steps straight. Now, turn left. Keep walking. Wave to someone on your right.” I was completely at her mercy, and without her, I was lost.

The first night Grizz made an appearance, the kids were a bit standoffish. They were overwhelmed by his size. They would wave cautiously from a distance. I understand that. It’s a giant bear that doesn’t talk, and you’re not sure who’s inside or if the bear is real. The night was challenging for Debbie and me too. We were figuring out how to maneuver, and the suit even deflated with me in it because the battery failed. I freaked out a bit !!

On night two, we hit our stride. We had a new, large battery that I carried in a backpack. Walking to and fro seemed easier as well. Debbie led me out to Grizz’s cabin at the beginning of the night. It was then that the tide turned.

The same kids who were scared and cautious the night before now screamed out my name and ran headlong into my arms. You’d hear a muffled “GRIZZ !!” followed by a soft thump up against the costume. They started talking to me, telling me stories, and making sure that I saw them. I gave out so many bear hugs that I was overwhelmed !! No kidding. As I was experiencing hug after hug, I wept inside my grizzly facade while laughing with joy at the same time.

Throughout the week, the kids became more and more comfortable. I would visit classrooms and walk throughout camp, receiving hug after hug. The end of camp was bittersweet because I knew I’d no longer put on the cumbersome bear. However, knowing that I was able to connect with so many people (including adults), filled my bucket for sure.

I wanted to share this story because I know many people who could use a hug. Too many people are struggling with a variety of life issues. Chances are they’re walking near you or working next to you, and you’re not even aware of it. This pulls at my heart.

I know that it’s not always possible to give a physical hug to people. You should always respect people’s personal space. You can, however, give a kind word, encourage someone, or slow down to listen to what’s going on in their lives. You can give an emotional hug with little effort. People are aching. You may be aching !!

Don’t just walk by someone indiscriminately this week. Pause and notice the wonderful folks around you. Give them a bear hug of some sort. It may be just what they need !!

Iron Things Out

We all have our morning routines. You need to because they set the tone for your day. For me, it starts with a hot shower to shake off the cobwebs, and then I meander down the hall to my wife’s craft room.

Her crafting laboratory is also where our ironing board is located. Every morning of my work week, I turn on this amazing appliance and iron my outfit. Since my daily attire consists of a paisley shirt and jeans, you wouldn’t think that this would be needed. I could skate by with pulling them off the hangar and throwing them on. Honestly, who would notice ?? (Don’t think that on some mornings when I’m dragging, this thought hasn’t passed my mind !!)

Taking a few moments to get prepared for the day ahead is calming. You can focus on getting ready. It allows me to adopt a great mindset to look forward to what’s ahead. I’m not much of a to-do list person, but I do like to contemplate what I think is possible. I know that it could change within a split second because I get to work with humans. We all desire for work to be steady and predictable, but it rarely is.

Each time I iron my outfit, I think of HR. You see, my pants and shirts are in a fairly good state, just as they are . . . with a few wrinkles. By adjusting the iron to the correct temperature setting for the clothes, I can press those wrinkles away so I look good and feel prepared to start my day with a positive look.

We need to think of working with others like ironing. They come to see us mostly good. They really are. We tell ourselves, though, that our job is to “fix” things because what they’re facing is in such a state that MAJOR action is needed. That is rarely the case. People come with a few wrinkles. They need someone who will assess what’s happening, set the right tone and temperature, then iron things out. You may need some steam to work on those deep wrinkles at times. The goal is to get people back in shape so they can perform their jobs.

We can’t fix people. It’s a myth that we continue to perpetuate. In fact, we reward people who are fixers. At times, I think we fall into the trap that they’re doing great work. Honestly, they’re shifting things around to come to a solid conclusion that eases the pressure that they probably started. These folks need more attention, and we need to step in to have those grounding conversations. They have talent and don’t have to keep approaching work as if everything is broken.

If we took this approach of smoothing out the wrinkles instead of being someone expecting to perform triage, then we wouldn’t be so frustrated and stressed ourselves. You see, we come to work with wrinkles too. It’s time for us to lay out our outfits. Let’s step back, calm down, and take a few moments to use our iron in our work. Trust me, it works !!