‘Life’ Articles at Everyday People, Page 7

Staring at a blank page . . .

Who here lives a “full” life? One where it seems you never have enough time to get done what you wanted to accomplish?

The answer is that everyone has a life that’s full. What’s different for us is what we choose to use to fill it. Whenever I hear someone say they don’t have enough time, I truly am skeptical. It doesn’t seem like they’re bored. In fact, when you ask them, they say they’re “busy.” When you ask what they’re busy with, there is rarely a good answer because they really don’t know. They just know they’re exhausted being busy.

Whenever I make a surprise phone call to friends, our first question to each other is, “So, how are you doing?” I usually answer, “Man, I’m full and I love it !!” Then we talk about the amazing things going on in our lives, our families, our friends and our work. I do my best to get off the HR “what’s the new project” talk to make sure that we talk about all facets of our lives.

There are days that do seem to get away from me. I’ve given up the notion that I control much at all. Being in HR, I truly want to be in a position to move things forward while including everyone around me as much as possible. I look at each day as a blank page.

This isn’t some idealistic, pie in the sky, you really can’t live that way approach. It just allows for things to happen at different paces and within the flow that they need to occur.

I mentioned last week that I’ve been on this crusade to list 3 great things a day in my journal. At first, I looked at the blank page in front of my journal and the regular anxiety of what to write crept in. “Would it be interesting enough?” “Am I just going through the motions?” “Did anything great really happen?”

Now, the words pour out of the pen themselves and I stop at 3, but I could write pages and pages. You see, before doing this, being busy was easy and it followed the path of everyone around me. I was frustrated. I felt overwhelmed and out of control. That’s lessened considerably because having the blank page is honestly welcoming.

As you start this work week, and your to-do list is already 14 behind when you roll over to hit the snooze button – stop, breathe, and start over. Start with a blank page and let your day be filled with the great things that are sure to happen to you.

Remember, when you hit the office, you’ll be running into people who are already “full” and won’t be able to get past being busy. Help them out. Add them to your page and see what stories unfold !!

Lest We Forget . . .

You may or may not know this, but I am a big geek !! I always have been, and am quite cool with it. In school I was in the geeky clubs, the nerdy societies and even had the giant tortoise shell glasses during the 80’s (with the essential feathered hair to compliment the look !!)

Tomorrow, I get to be with my fellow geeks to do something amazing !! You see, every year I march in the Memorial Day parade in West Chester, Ohio with my Boy Scout Troop. I am the Scoutmaster of said Troop, and there are very few things in life that I give more credence to than working with the Scouts. There are tons of scouts who come out for this annual tradition.

We’ll gather tomorrow around 9:00am and march two miles to the local cemetery for a Memorial Day ceremony that always brings me to tears. To see the people who have served, and continue to serve, our country always humbles me. In the midst of our gathering, we are surrounded by veterans who have passed dating back to the Revolutionary War.

It’s easy for us to continue with our lives every day and never take note of those who serve for our country. We’ve been at war for over a decade, and we’re more concerned with who may play in the NBA finals, or who wins Celebrity Apprentice. Don’t get me wrong, I live the same way. Tomorrow, that cloud lifts and I can take time to be thankful and grateful for those who step in harm’s way for my freedom.

As professionals in HR, we can do our part by getting behind the good work of the Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR). We can also use the Veterans Hiring Toolkit from SHRM to help support the America’s Heroes at Work initiative from the DOL.

If those aren’t an option for you as an employer, there is one thing that ALL of us can do. A dear friend of mine told me that every time she sees someone in fatigues or uniform in public, she goes up to them and says “Thank You for Your Service.” This simple gesture means that world to people. Once I heard this from her, I’ve been doing it ever since.

This Memorial Day, step out and be a little geeky. The men and women of our Armed Services deserve no less.

Take the Detour !!

As I traveled to my nephew’s high school graduation this weekend, I was forewarned that the main highway to my brother’s house was closed for a 20-mile stretch in Tennessee. Being from Ohio, and not knowing the sundry back roads of Tennessee, I was a bit concerned. You see, we got a late start and we would be getting to the road closure at night. Yes, I have a GPS, but you know as well as I do that they look for the shortest route to their destination and don’t like when you wander off course.

On top of having to leave the main highway, my brother advised me to follow the detour of the wide load trucks and not the flow of traffic. I asked him why, and he said that it would be quicker. Others coming to the graduation who had arrived earlier took the flow of traffic option and it took up to 2 hours to go those 20 miles.

My wife asked if we should trust my brother’s advice. Being someone who doesn’t tend to follow the flow very often, I said, “Sure, let’s see where the road takes us.”

It turns out that it was a much quicker route. However, during the detour our car was sandwiched between two semis barrelling through mountainous roads with little to no lighting. Also, whoever designed the roads must have loved the art of massive and quick changing curves versus having straight stretches of road. It was challenging, harrowing and exhilarating !!

My brother was right and our trek was much quicker than what the others had to suffer through. I was glad to have taken his advice and also the route that I wasn’t “supposed” to take.

It made me think of HR (of course). You see, we are a part of the most risk averse profession around. It shouldn’t be that way, but it tends to be. Whenever we are pressed with a decision, we tend to take the “flow of traffic.” It’s a shame because there are a multitude of other routes availabe, we just need to try them !!

You see, the route I took gave the same result as the others who also had to leave the main road. However, I was only one car among many trucks !! I had to have faith that my intuition would pay off.

This week, take the detour a different way than what you normally do. Be creative !! See where the road leads and what outcomes occur. It’s worth the risk !!

So Much Room to Move !!

Rain for hours. Mud everywhere. Solemn flag retirement. Scavenger hunt. Tons of Euchre games. Food that is flat amazing. Big word Saturday (you got credit if you used big words during your conversations). Flames shooting from a lantern, and everyone points and says, “Mr. Browne – look !! Cool !!”

As I type this week’s post, I’ll be honest, I’m exhausted. I just returned from a weekend of scouting with the great boys and adults of Troop 941. It’s our annual “advancement outing” where we get our new scouts started along their way, and the older scouts also work on things to advance in their ranks. It seems that every Advancement Outing is filled with challenging weather and unexpected surprises. This one was no different !!

One of the things I truly love about Scouting is that the focus is to let the boys learn, fail, learn again, teach and then move forward. The hope is that they get the spark to someday reach Eagle Scout.

It’s interesting because the Troop is a microcosm (big word) of the workplace. Every boy is different and has quirks that make them truly standout. As adult leaders, we do our best to guide them to making the decisions that will allow them to truly develop. We are constantly fighting the urge to jump in and fix it all because we learn that our greatest trial is . . . patience.

The beauty of the system is that the boys can do so many things in so many ways to reach their goals. This drives some adults (and boys) crazy because they feel that tight structure will lend a successful end for one and all. Some kids don’t even see the structure (which warms my heart !!)

In the workplace, we in HR use policies as our “structure” and we do our best to enforce, cajole and discipline everyone who falls outside of them. We think we’re doing our job, but not really. I think policies are broader than most. They should be parameters that allow people room to move and perform. They should never be vehicles for control than can never be fully reached and will most certainly not allow people to be consistent.

We need to be like the scouts who look at eminent danger and say, ” Oooh, cool !!” I learn something every time I get to go and lay under the stars and the rain and the mud. Amid all that, you only hear playing, laughter and memories being made. It’s a great “workplace.” Maybe we’d all enjoy what we did a bit better if we loosened the reigns and allowed people room to move !!

I Don’t Get it !!

This past weekend I had the privilege of seeing my cousin’s daughter get married. My generation is getting older and now our kids are adults !! It’s cool to go through this though to see the continuation of life pass through the generations.

I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but I grew up on a farm with my grandparents. My mom was a widow and had to work, so my brother and I grew up (and worked) on the farm as young kids. I mention this because the wedding this weekend was between two farming families. It is always great to be with my extended family and get reminded of the joy that farming offers.

You see, farmers have EVERYTHING pulling against them !! The weather could be too hot, too dry or too wet which all affects planting and harvest. Can they control the weather? No. Then there are pests, weeds, disease, etc. These affect and attack crops and livestock. You can limit some of the damage these things can do, but it’s never ending. A farmer’s day starts at sunrise, involves some form of hard labor throughout the day and you fall into bed late after sunset.

Every farmer I know loves what they do. They understand the challenges, and they can be monumental with the slightest shift in everything from the economy to equipment failing. They are some of the most wholesome people I know and I’m proud to have grown up in a family that still continues this tradition to provide for others.

As I am driving home, I think of all that I have. Phenomenal job, fantastic wife and great kids. A home, transportation, etc. As I listen as I enter back into the burbs, all I hear about is what people don’t have and how we’re missing the newest bauble of technology or convenience.

And I think to myself – I don’t get it !!

Don’t get me wrong, my farming relatives have many of the same things we’re fortunate to have, and I know they’d like to have new things as well. However, with all this plenty that surrounds me, my family and my friends/co-workers – why is there never enough?

I don’t have an answer to this. It just puzzles me because in HR we constantly deal with the “not enough” syndrome in the workplace. Oddly, the farmers get up every day to do amazing things and life moves forward. I think I’m going to get a model tractor to put on my desk to remind me of my roots . . .

How about you ??

What we gain through loss . . .

This past week I lost a large part of my past. The church I grew up in, Ada 1st United Methodist, burned to the ground.

NOTE: Now, please know that I’m well aware that the “church” is not the building. I hope you read on to see what I’d like to talk about . . .

Many memories happened at this church. Weddings of my cousins and friends. Funerals of dear people from Ada including grandparents. Making pumpkin pies and hard tack candy for our youth group fundraisers. Holding hands with my first girlfriend while I was supposed to pay attention to the service. And most of all, tons of experiences that shaped me as a young man and helped define my faith.

Also, this past week, I learned of a friend’s, Dawn Hrdlica-Burke, loss of her father. Three others facing serious, if not life threatening, health situations. A continued group of people who remain jobless, and several folks near me recovering from the devastation of recent tornadoes.

Now, if you read my blog with any regularity, you know that I’m generally an extremely positive person !! It’s not a facade or on-line persona, it’s who I really am. So, when significant things hit home they really hit home. It made me think . . .

You see, when I posted on Twitter and Facebook that my hometown church had been destroyed, I received messages of empathy and encouragements from literally around the globe. That floored me !! I was so thankful that I had people that cared enough to reach out and give a kind word. And then I thought again . . .

Every day in the workplace the people around me are going through “stuff” just like this or worse. Do I take the time to see if they’re truly okay? Or, do I do the obligatory “Hi, how are you?” waiting for their inevitable answer of “Fine.” We continue to be polite with each other because that next e-mail or task is really what we’re focused on vs. taking the time to see how someone truly is.

The fact of the workplace is that we want people to focus on the “stuff” we think is truly important like processes, projects and time frames. We don’t want to deal with people’s “stuff” because that takes too much time, and what if they truly want me to care?

As I mentioned before, I was floored at the responses I received and am thankful that I have people who feel close enough to share their thoughts. However, I truly feel that many people walk through the doors at work every day with life’s struggles in front of them, and they may have few, if any, people supporting them through what they’re facing.

It’s time for HR to be the model and break this distant approach with people. People DO matter and it SHOULD matter to us how they’re doing. It may get messy and you may have to act, but isn’t that great? We need to be the ones taking the time to see how people really are. It may be the ONE thing they’re looking for – a genuine connection at work.

This week, break the mold. Be the Human that others need. Take the time to get involved with their “stuff.” It will change the world !!

Get Your Hands Dirty !!

This weekend my wife asked me to start sprucing up the house for the impending graduation gathering for my daughter in three months. I needed the nudge because I was dreading the work ahead. I love being outside, but this level of yardwork was going to be massive !!

One task was to realign the wall I constructed several years ago around our front landscaping. There are 150+ pavers that span the front of the bed. Now, this wall has needed attention for some time, and I would see that one or two pavers were out of line, and I’d get them back into the wall with minimum effort. However, when I looked at the work in front of me it was more like an orthodontist facing a challenging set of crooked teeth.

The chore almost put me in the ground. To repair the wall and get it where it should be took over four hours of digging, removing roots, being covered in mud and replacing about 1,000 worms who were wondering why they home was being “remodeled.”

I had to get my hands dirty and fully throw myself into the project in order to see a better end result. As I sit here typing, I’m exhausted and yet invigorated !! This simple project reminded me that we all need to reexamine how we do HR.

How many times do we see systems that need our attention, and we do a quick fix or update just to give it a little more life, when it needs a true overhaul?
How often do we sit behind our desk and shoot off an e-mail when we could go and see someone face-to-face to see what their situation entails first hand?
How often are we critical of how others handle HR situations, when we could be more integrated with them to help them succeed?
How often do we look for “best practices” when we should be creating “next practices” ourselves?

This list could go on and on. So, the opportunity before us is pretty simple. We need to get our hands dirty. This week take a look at the “wall” that you see every day and see if it can be torn down, reconfigured and brought back to life. It’s worth the work !!

Thanks Coach !!

This weekend my daughter’s basketball career came to an end. She is a senior in high school, and her team was beaten in their first tournament game. I knew that we’d have these “last” things during her senior year, but it was still very tough.

But, it was amazing as well. You see this year was different than most with basketball. My daughter is phenomenal. If you remember nothing else from this post, you need to remember that. Two days before tryouts, her coach asked to talk to her before practice started. The coach told my daughter she needed to make a choice. She told her how much she cared for her, and that there was a place for her on the team, but she would never play. This was devastating to say the least.

My daughter, like all kids, had worked for countless hours and years playing basketball. She’s always been a great role player and never the star. She knew that and so did the coach. The coach told her that she’d like to offer my daughter another option for her Senior year – to be an Assistant Coach. My daughter balked because she thought that was another word for “manager.” She was hurt and didn’t know what to do. The coach asked her to think about it overnight, talk to her parents about it as well as other girls on the team to get input.

That night I received a call from the coach asking me how my daughter was doing. I told her that she was hurt, confused, and there were a lot of tears. The coach asked me if my daughter told me about their conversation, and I said she had. She told me how much she cared for Mel and our family being involved with the program. I told the coach that I absolutely understood her position and that I appreciated her being up front with my daughter.

Then, the amazing part happened. I said, “Coach, you’re running a team and you need to put the best team out there. I deal with this every day in HR and I understand that you’re doing what you can to succeed and I support that.” The coach said, “That’s why we chose Mel to be an Asst. Coach because I knew you and Debbie would understand.” I told the coach, “Thanks (many tears). You see, my job is to raise an adult, not a basketball player.” The coach said, “You’re doing a great job because she’s a great kid !!”

So, my daughter was Coach Mel this year. She helped in many ways and was more included in things than she ever was as a player. A few weeks ago, my wife and I escorted her across the court during Senior Night along with all the Senior players. My daughter showed her strength as a team player and a leader as a coach. We couldn’t be more proud.

Mel’s coach did something that we in the HR and business world need to do more of: (1) Care for our employees, (2) Recognize their strengths, (3) Be candid about their role and how they can best contribute and (4) Allow them to do that and flourish !!

I really appreciate that Mel’s coach took the time to keep her indcluded and create this role for her this year. She has been, and will continue to be, an incredible part of our daughter’s life. She has left a permanent mark of a positive role model. She’s imprinted our family’s lives as well along with the other girls and families in the program.

So, even though the season ended this weekend, her actions will last forever !!

Are you full ??

This past weekend I had a real treat by spending it in Amish Country in Ohio. It gives a whole new perspective on life because this culture chooses to live life differently than the vast majority of us !!

This post isn’t a commentary on the Amish, but it is an observation. As I watched the buggies passing me by and sampling way too much amazing cheese, I noticed a sense of contentment that I don’t see in many people. These good folks lives are not only are based on their faith, but also on what they choose what to fill their lives with. The brash realities of a world that exists in a completely opposite realm faces them every day, and yet they continue to live their lives with pride.

As an HR practitioner, much of my day is surrounded by people – and I dig that !! One of the true challenges I run into is how to respond to people who consistently seem frustrated with almost all aspects of their work and the people they work with. The more I listen, and sometimes pry, I notice a pattern. Much of their frustration is based on the sense that they’re “too busy” and “no one understands.”

When I step back from these conversations I try to look and see what is making them “busy.” All of us are full. No one says they have extra time on their hands – quite the contrary. But, what are we filled with? Are the things that consume our daily lives productive, or not? It’s not hard to fill your day with “stuff,” or to focus on the areas you’re most comfortable. It’s human nature.

But, what if we sat down and made a list (paper or electronic) of what our day consists of? Would we like what we see? Do we like what we fill our lives at work with? Too often I hear people churn on what isn’t happening, or what’s not being done. There’s validity in that, but the approach isn’t constructive. Making strides forward with intent with what you have available (culture, resources, staff, etc.) is much healthier.

It reminds me of the good people I was with this weekend. Maybe we would all benefit if we were a little more “full” like the Amish. What do you think?

Believe in Miracles !!

Normally, I don’t post twice in a week. My “regular” day to compose is Sunday. But, with Christmas Day being Sunday, I won’t be posting. There’s a much bigger reason for this that deserves a story . . .

In 1993, my wife and I had her extended family over for Christmas Eve and were preparing the obligatory feast when my wife exclaimed, “Steve, I think my water just broke !!” You see, we were expecting our first child who wasn’t due until mid-January of 1994. She asked, “What should we do?” And, being the ever empathetic husband, I said, “Let’s eat !!” – and we did. We shared our meal with our family, calmed down, and then we headed down the highway to the hospital.

That year in Cincinnati we had snow and ice all over. Did you know that you can travel without much traffic on a Christmas Eve night even in bad weather? I think we saw 10 cars in the twenty mile trek we had to the hospital. During our trip my wife was riding next to me crying. She didn’t want our child to be born on Christmas. We talked about every bad scenario about how our child would be “cheated” because their birthday was on a holiday. Odd, that we weren’t focusing on the amazing miracle about to happen !! When we arrived at the hospital, my wife was one of two women who were about to give birth.

Our beautiful daughter, Melanie, waited the night and arrived early Christmas morning !! It was amazing and something I will never forget or regret. Here she was five weeks early, and the best Christmas present I will EVER receive !!

She was cooing and healthy when she was carted down the hall to the nursery. After giving my wife a kiss for making it through the delivery like a champ, I wandered down the hall to get another glimpse of my daughter. There was fresh snow on the trees, buildings and streets that I saw in the hallway window as I sauntered down to see her. It was just like the movies. And then . . . the miracle.

Looking through the nursery window, I saw my daughter stuffed into a large stocking being held by Santa Claus in a rocking chair. Tears exploded from my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I saw sitting before me. Santa looked up at me, smiled, hugged my daughter and waved to me as if to acknowledge the beautiful gift of life that came to us that morning.

I ran down the hall to tell my wife what I just saw. I ran back to see if I could get a picture, and he was gone. Of course he was because he was off to do what Santa does for all families and children.

Our “miracle” turns 18 on Sunday. This stocking baby is now a young woman about to embark on her next stage in life when she leaves our home to attend college in the Fall after graduating in the Spring. She is amazing and continues to be a blessing to me and all she touches.

I wanted to thank all of you who take the time to read this blog. I value each one of you and want to wish you, and yours, a blessed Christmas and Holiday season !! May the coming year be filled with miracles for all of you !!