This is a time of year when people feel the urge to give to others. I love that this is the case !! I know that the holidays aren’t only about gift-giving. Trust me. At the same time, I appreciate any time people pause to think of others. If the holidays provide an environment for people to be more selfless and less focused on themselves, then I’m in.
I enjoy shopping for my wife because I am so grateful for her and it’s fun to get her something that matters from her wish list. She has traditionally taken care of our kids and does an amazing job. She is always equitable in who gets what and is also thoughtful. Our kids (adults) are older now, so there is less quantity and far more meaningful quality. In fact, my kids have adopted the practice of only getting me gifts that make me weepy. It’s a fairly low threshold, but it’s something I cherish.
At work, we traditionally do food drives, coat drives and pick a charity to support families with felt needs. We give our employees an opportunity to chip in, but there isn’t an expectation of mandatory participation. Inevitably, the giving is overflowing, and the amount of donations is humbling and overwhelming. You hear a general hum of positivity fill the hallways more this time of year and there is less grousing about the challenges of work.
Our exec group has had a practice of giving each other gifts which started years ago. We spend so much time together throughout each year and it’s a cool way to let your co-workers know they’re on your heart. A few people give the same things annually and it’s fun knowing these treats are coming. This past week, however, I was taken aback by two gifts I received.
Quick explanation . . .
I am a GIANT fan of all things Ted Lasso. I love the show and feel it may be the best HR show ever made without directly being about HR. In the show, Ted makes biscuits for his boss every day. So, to get a package of Ted Lasso sayings, a towel with the recipe for the biscuits, AND actual biscuits to try was so wonderful !! (NOTE: The biscuits are sooooooooo delicious. I would recommend you make some yourself. I plan to !!)
The other gift was a print filled with a montage of items from my hometown of Ada, Ohio. If you know me at all, you know that being from Ada means the world to me. I spent the most formative years of school there, and it will always be a place I will be connected to throughout my life.
I wanted you to have more of an explanation of these gifts because they reflect the art of what giving can do. Giving causes us to pause and think of others on purpose. It stops the pattern people have of primarily thinking about themselves and their needs first and foremost. Giving also shows your heart and opens you to be more vulnerable and open with people.
The art of giving should be a pattern of our lives year-round. We are all surrounded by people who have needs. Most need to be given the gift of time and acknowledgment. You can let them know they matter in who they are and what they contribute. Others may want the gift of attention. A time when they receive your entire focus without distraction. No phones, laptops, or screens. You are “there” when they are there.
You will also come across those who may be facing challenges, trials, or periods of a larger need. See how you can step in. You may have resources yourself or you can connect them with others who can lend a hand.
It’s imperative we all learn, and embrace the art of giving. Imagine how our workplaces, our neighborhoods, and the world would look if we did !!
This past week I had the opportunity to travel to Vero Beach, Florida to meet with HR peers at the Treasure Coast HR Association. They were kind enough to gather and let me present a different look at human resources. I cherish any time I get a chance to do this because it gives me an opening to encourage folks who work in the same wonderful industry I do.
I made sure to build in some time to wander in and around Vero Beach for an extra few days. I had never been to the city, and I find it fulfilling to explore and see the areas of the world where I get to speak. I meandered through the shops in the quaint downtown, grabbed lunch at a local sandwich shop, and took a stroll down a boardwalk overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. I made sure to visit other local eateries and a brewery during my visit. The highlight of everything though was a visit to the Vero Beach Museum of Art !!
I do my best to visit art museums in every city I go to. Art fills my soul. To see the expressions of others using various mediums stretches my imagination. The pieces are all interesting in some way. I may not “get” what the artist was trying to capture, but those pieces are intriguing as well. Art isn’t something to agree with. It’s something to learn from.
I was especially geeked because the museum had a special exhibit of the works of Dutch artist, M.C. Escher. You may not recognize his name, but I guarantee you’d recognize his work. Instead of just walking from piece to piece, I was fortunate to join a tour with a docent who took the time to tell us about Escher and how he created his work. It was fascinating !!
I always assumed that Escher drew his compositions. I was absolutely floored to learn that he actually made prints by using wood cuttings and lithographs. The images that he captured he did backward !! It’s hard to grasp because the intricacies and level of detail are mind-blowing. To think he even saw these images in his mind is hard enough to understand. To take those thoughts and then create them in reverse is astonishing. There are no good words and it made me admire his work even more.
The docent took several minutes at a handful of the 160 works on display to help us look deeply at each one. I found myself falling headlong into the prints and ignoring what was going on around me. Escher didn’t consider himself a traditional artist because he felt they focused on beauty. He wanted to bring out “wonder” instead. His earlier work was more conventional while still being amazing capturing the scenery of his time living throughout Italy. As his career progressed, he began to design impossible and infinite works. When you look at them, there is no definite start or finish. They just move eternally.
After the tour ended, I took my time to go back through the exhibition and enjoy every single piece. You see, I think Escher captured the essence of life and work. Each of them are ever-moving, ever-changing continuums. There aren’t discernable starting points or conclusions. Once something is accomplished, it’s already changing into the next iteration.
We don’t recognize this reality because we strive for absolutes. We want things to have a clear start and a finite end. I understand this because we feel it gives work form and function. However, just like Escher’s lithographs and wood cuttings, work is infinite. Even if we try to take a slice out to focus on a portion of what’s in front of us, the movement continues in and around us.
I would encourage each of us to approach our days as if we were inserting ourselves inside an Escher work. Jump into the continuum and move freely to see where it takes you. Quit trying to control every moment of your day and see how the flow of everything is happening all around you. You need to believe me that understanding work is infinite will give you more fulfillment than trying to confine the occurrences in your environment.
I’m grateful I did some exploration in beautiful Vero Beach. I found an example of life’s continuum in an unexpected place. I think Escher would dig that !!
This month I quietly celebrated a career milestone by passing my 17th anniversary with the same company. I’m grateful beyond words that they took a chance on me so long ago. During my time there, I have been able to grow personally and professionally more than I could ever have imagined.
It started in a very interesting manner though . . .
During their selection process, a peer of mine, who was interviewing for the HR role herself, reached out to me. She told me there was a role she thought I’d be a great fit for. I didn’t know she was being considered. She didn’t tell me. I sent the company resumes of other HR pros I knew and then asked if I could be considered as well. The gentleman who turned out to be my future boss told me, “We were hoping you’d apply.”
My first interview was in a booth in a pizzeria. Kevin asked me how I felt about being in the restaurants and I replied, “Do I even need to go to my desk ??” Evidently, it was the right answer. I came back for a round of second interviews at the corporate office. As I was taken from office to office to meet the various executives, I noticed something. Lava lamps. Many of the offices had them and I started to get giddy.
If you know me at all, I have a handful of quirks. One of them is lava lamps. I have had at least one for over the past 30 years. I dig them and they give me peace because of their simplicity. To see them dotting the offices of people I hoped would be co-workers was a great sign. It was curious though that they were darkened and not doing what they were created for.
I was hired and I brought my ancient, yet reliable, lava lamp with purple goo with me on my first day. Before I even completed the mandatory HR paperwork for new hires, I plugged it in and did something radical . . . I turned it on !!
As people came to visit me in my new place, they noticed the blobs of the lava lamp easily moving up and down. Most of them said, “Cool lamp !!” The ones who had lava lamps in their offices even commented and I shared, “You know, yours can do this too.”
You see, I think lava lamps are reflective of how we see people and what we could do to alter that. When we meet people, we truly don’t take much time to get to know them. The vast majority of our work relationships are kept at a surface level at best. From that shallow vantage point, we make massive judgments about people. Those judgments may not always turn out to be positive either. People aren’t swayed or discouraged by this. It seems that investing time in others is never as important as real “work.”
It’s a shame that we’ve expected this level of shallowness to be the norm of our company culture. If we would do one simple thing and just turn them on, I think we’d see the incredible light, talent, and life each person innately has. We’d see that time invested unlocks who they are as a human and allows them to express themselves through their performance.
I believe in this so much that I give a lava lamp away every time I get to speak at HR and business events. A simple gift to spread the light helps reframe people’s perspectives and how they view others. I “require” people to send me a picture of the lava lamp fully lit in their workplace to make sure they keep the light going. In fact, I just got a note from an HR peer who said she still thinks of me because she received a lava lamp from me 10 years ago !!
If you come to my office now, I have five lava lamps going at all times and another four at home. I don’t feel I could seriously have enough of them (but my wife may disagree.)
This week, stop looking at just the exterior of the people you work with. Know that they’re just waiting for someone to help them flip their switch. Help them do that and be the one who allows their brilliance to shine every day !!
This weekend my wife and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary !! It’s an incredible blessing to have her in my life for all of these years and we look forward to many, many more. My wife has been willing to tag along with me throughout our time together because I have this insatiable need to surround myself with people. You need to understand that this stretches her past her comfort zone on a regular basis. However, she knows that it comes with being tethered to me.
Not only do I enjoy being around others, I like observing how they interact. You can catch snippets of conversations, and I wonder what the rest of their stories are. I am truly intrigued. It’s a genuine interest because I feel there are countless experiences that would be shared. You could learn so much more than you know about how people live, what they believe, how they view the world, and more.
Just this weekend, Debbie and I went to the wedding of a family friend, and the room was filled with a handful of people we knew. The majority of those attending though were strangers. It didn’t inhibit the celebration because the people were tied in some way to either the bride or the groom. While we were at the ceremony taking place in a beautiful center in an expansive park, the park’s grounds were teeming with students taking pictures for homecoming. Another family paraded by decked out in their best apparel for a quinceañera with everyone smiling.
After the ceremony, people milled around for a happy hour and snacks. Dinner followed and the room filled with the noise and clatter of a myriad of conversations happening everywhere. Our table was no different. As I was engaged with the familiar friends in our assigned seats, I tried to capture what was happening around me. I wondered what was being shared.
You see, I believe in people and feel every single person has something to offer. I’m sure of it. I don’t feel there are those who are boring or not worth my time. And, when you stop and think about it, there are far more people you don’t know versus those that you do. Our circle of humans is not as vast as we think. We all have a capacity of how many relationships we can manage and interact with and that’s normal. It’s not possible to know everyone. However, the world is filled with people I’m eager to meet.
We have an opportunity to expand our reach to those we know by making sure that those we work with are not isolated or untethered. They can be assured they’re connected to you as at least one person in that environment. At the same time, when you have chance encounters with new people, pause and take time to chat. Make the time to see who they are. Be an unexpected connection. You never know where it will lead.
I plan to continue to observe people and connect when I can. There are so many humans to meet. It will be fascinating to see what happens. I wonder . . .
A few weeks ago one of my best friends and I saw a fave band of mine from the early 2000’s – CAKE. They played at an outdoor venue where you had to stand for the entire show. There were 3 rows of “VIP seats,” but they stood as well. The band was tight and their musicianship was astonishing !!
The people who came to see CAKE were anxious for them to hit the stage. You could hear the hum of a murmur wondering when we’d see the band. Now, if you aren’t familiar with their music, they’re truly unique. The band has a lead singer who “sings” while sometimes talking through the songs and playing a rhythm guitar. The lead guitarist is a genius who drops incredible hooks while strumming every note. A bassist and a drummer provided a solid background foundation for each tune. Their work blended in seamlessly. In addition, there’s a true artist who plays a solo trumpet, keyboard, and ancillary percussion. He’s amazing !!
Everyone throughout the venue sang all the songs we knew and if you stumbled through the lyrics, your fellow concertgoers didn’t care and didn’t correct you. The idea of having a shared experience was far more the focus than being accurate or correct. If you swayed or madly danced, it was fine. Everyone was in sync. The lead singer led several crowd sing-a-longs with ease. He didn’t have to coerce the masses to perform. They were eager for the opportunity !!
You’ll have to trust me that when he split the crowd in two to sing the fab song – Sick of You – it was magic. People who would most likely never sing in public or take a stage belted out their part with ease. Men and women, younger and older, fans or curious concert attendees sang. Not one person stood there quietly. Not. One.
Now, this isn’t a concert review. It’s an observation.
What if we could make our company culture have this same vibe ?? Everyone comes to work with anticipation about the day ahead. Your co-workers are geeked to see you and are actually elated that you are. No one harps on mistakes that are made. There’s a sense of camaraderie where people lean in and make sure everyone succeeds.
There’s a “lead singer” who captures the vibe of the workplace and together the organization performs a mix of hits and rare deep cuts. Sound out of reach ?? I don’t think it is. The key is our approach and how we view people. If we could look out on our “crowd” and get them to all sing along, imagine how fulfilling our days would be.
Aren’t you tired of always trying to repair and fix the multitude of factions that break out in the workplace? Is this all you think HR and leadership have to offer? It would be easy to think so because we swim in this mess daily. We’re so used to the constant fragmentation of people we don’t even look for a solution. We just exhale a deep sigh, drop our shoulders, and dive in.
It’s never worked and we may experience minor successes here and there, but it will be short-lived. I think it’s time we took the concert approach and become lead singers in our organizations. We know the songs and we can rally our fellow musicians to play the notes in the correct order to pull everyone together. You can emphasize that they play their part and their instrument because that is the skill and talent they bring to their role and the company.
It’s possible and it works. Time to step up to the microphone, raise your hands, and reach out to the people eager to follow and participate. Take the lead !!
If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a person who is on the go most of the time. Activity fills my bucket. I have a driving urge that my next experience is going to be an adventure !! I’m not talking about something grandiose either. Meeting a unique person in a shop in a small town. Having an encounter with a stranger that turns out to be unexpected and interesting. Working on our daughter’s house to repair, paint and give it her touch. The list can be endless.
I eagerly enter each day with anticipation that something amazing is sure to occur. I know. This sounds naive and superficial. I can assure you it’s not. Ever since I can remember, I have seen life as robust with opportunities to look around the next corner at something completely new. Always being on the go has a price though . . .
I’m not good at resting. Never have been. This endless yearning of wonderment runs counter to slowing down even for a moment. I tend to collapse even after a full day at work. The energy I try to pour into others while also getting them to see life from a brighter perspective is exhausting. I’m not complaining. I’d have it no other way. I just want you to know that the science of expending energy affects me greatly as I’m sure it does you.
Most people I know collapse or burst. They either run themselves into the ground with countless tasks they attack and at times accomplish. Or, they sprint as if there is no end to a race and then explode emotionally. This results in a few days off either from your body slowing you down because you won’t pay attention or a mini vacation just to remove yourself from the hectic pace.
Bursting is as unhealthy as collapsing. We convince ourselves this isn’t the case and we tell ourselves that our company, department, project, etc. would surely fail if we weren’t constantly diligent and present. I fully believe in self-worth and self-assuredness in life. However, if we delude ourselves into feeling we are indescribably valuable, then we lack the most important “self” – self-awareness.
This weekend, I decided to be intentional and embrace the reality of rest. I put down my phone, went out with my wife and friends to music trivia and some drinks, and even slept in on Saturday morning !! All day Saturday, I limited my activity and drive to always do something. That resulted in watching a movie, getting some ice cream after making dinner in our Instant Pot, and even squeezing in a nap. Just one day of slowing down helped me mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Today I went to church, washed our cars, and sat down to write this blog. Limiting my activity didn’t hurt one bit and as far as I can tell, the world is still spinning. I was on social media but barely. Later, I plan to pick up a book and read or even start a puzzle without a screen in sight.
People are still milling around and falling into the trap that hustling and running is a needed component in today’s society while I chose to rest. We can’t advance the cause of well-being if we don’t take care of ourselves. Rest is needed SO we can get back in, stay active and thrive.
This week break the pattern of collapsing or bursting. Encourage others to do the same throughout your family and your workplace. Build in rest. When you do, you’ll see you actually have more energy and time than you expected !!
I’ve mentioned before that my wife and I are empty nesters. We enjoy this stage in our lives because it’s given us the freedom to do more things as a couple while also staying connected to our kids. Looking back over the years, we made sure to invest time and attention in each of our kids knowing someday we’d be living in different places.
What’s ironic though is that when we get a phone call from Josh or Melanie, our first thought isn’t positive. When their name pops up on the screen, our minds automatically come up with a multitude of potential situations. Each one is worse than the prior one. You can feel your pulse and blood pressure elevate just a bit and you clench as you hit the “answer” button. Nine times out of ten the conversation is positive and even a bit benign. They’re just checking in.
All of the years of investing time in having relationships with our kids have paid off. That doesn’t change the sinking feeling of a potential catastrophe looming around the corner. Now, you need to take note that we don’t want something horrible to happen when we chat. It’s the last thing we’d want. So, why do we catastrophize something that should be positive? How would we respond if the call wasn’t positive and something dire was truly facing our kids?
Humans are unfortunately built to assume the worst is possible. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent/child interaction or a work encounter. Our minds jump to a catastrophic level just in case something does present itself in the worst possible way. How sad is that? We’ve become so used to catastrophizing the potential outcome of meeting with others that it’s become our norm. That just shouldn’t be the case.
What steps could we take to not expect the worst is inevitably going to occur? The first thing is to intentionally have the discipline to see the positive aspect of every engagement we have with others. Develop a mindset that the best is going to occur. This simple step of going into conversations expecting something positive is a good start.
Secondly, believe that people have good intentions first. Understand that others want to avoid catastrophic thinking just as much as you do. Even if you’re the only one assuming positive intent, it’s better than both parties assuming the worst.
Finally, live in the moment. I don’t mean to belittle the future. Not in the least. I am a person who eagerly looks forward expecting good things. Being in the moment though allows you to focus on what’s in front of you. It also keeps you in the best frame of mind if something is bad or catastrophic. As humans, we respond when a crisis is upon us better than we do facing our regular day-to-day patterns.
We shouldn’t need our circumstances to hit a crisis level in order for us to act. It’s not healthy or sustainable. Think about it for a moment. If we only feel comfortable acting when the worst truly is what we’re facing, then we’re living with a constant catastrophic mindset !!
This week, make the change to be positive, and believe the best is going to happen with every conversation you have with every person that crosses your path. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how easily your day goes by with few bumps when fewer negative thoughts take up space. Stop catastrophizing and expect the best !!
Last year, my wife and I traveled to Houston, Texas. It was our first time there and I was speaking to an HR team from a construction firm. It was a small event in a cool, industrial warehouse that was converted into a meeting space. We had a great time and got solid recommendations of where to go and where to eat from the local folks. We gathered all our belongings and traveled less than a mile to our hotel. We added a few days of PTO to extend our stay and visit the city.
As we wheeled our suitcases down the hall, we turned the corner and I heard a voice jubilantly exclaim – “Welcome to my hotel !!”
I perked up immediately and sauntered up to the hotel check-in counter when the clerk cheerfully said, “Welcome to my hotel. I’m Yolanda. Are you here to check in?” I was floored by her exuberance and replied, “Why, yes we are !!” My wife rolled her eyes a bit and whispered, “That’s what she’s told to say,” and I’m sure she was. That didn’t deter my excitement.
Yolanda went on to tell us about the hotel’s amenities and offered to be available for us whenever we needed it. I was so geeked by her approach and thought she went above and beyond in showing her hospitality. My wife and I went out to be tourists and as we strolled back into the lobby hours later, we heard Yolanda say, “Hi there Mr. and Mrs. Browne !! How was your time out in my city?” I was giddy once again. “We had a great time Yolanda !! Thanks for asking.” One thing to note – The lobby was teeming with people moving back and forth involved in various things, and yet Yolanda took the time to check on us in the midst of this hurried activity.
On the day we were going to leave to fly back to Ohio three days later, I was having problems getting our boarding passes to load on my phone. I decided to go down to the lobby and try out the “business center.” It didn’t work because I’m sure it’s overused. I decided to go to the front desk and ask for help and I heard, “Hello, Mr. Browne. Can I help you?” You guessed it. Yolanda was manning her post yet again. She was so helpful and we were able to get checked into our flight and print our boarding passes.
While I was spending more time with her, I was filled with curiosity. I asked her about her approach and her joy toward the guests of the hotel. She brimmed with delight and shared she had been a front desk clerk for 20 years and she couldn’t be more proud of the work she did and the place she worked. I told her I was in HR and I was so moved by our experience and I knew she offered this same level of engagement and service to everyone she encountered.
This made such an impression on me that I incorporated our experience with her in one of the presentations I give at conferences and I end by asking – “Is this how YOU view your job in HR ??” The response is a mix of “not really” or “I wish I did.”
I first used the story while speaking at the SHRM Annual Conference in New Orleans in 2022. After the presentation, someone came up to me at the front of the stage and pulled me to the side. “Hi, my name is Kimberly. Did you stay at the Embassy Suites while you were in Houston?” I told her I did and then she floored me.
“I work with Yolanda !! My team and I heard your story and we’ve been texting her during your speech to tell her that you were bursting with elation as you told this room filled with thousands of people all about her.” I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe it. We hugged and I asked Kimberly to tell Yolanda thank you for letting me share our time with her with others.
A few weeks passed, and Kimberly sent me a picture through Linked In. Here’s what I received. That’s Kimberly on the left and Yolanda on the right.
I couldn’t believe it !! I added this picture at the end of my presentation and have been fortunate to share it many more times. At SHRM23 this year in Las Vegas, I shared about Yolanda again, and after the presentation, as I was signing books at the SHRM bookstore, another person approached me. “Hi there. I’m Jamie and I work with Yolanda. Thank you so much for continuing to share about her. I wanted to get her one of your books so she had a note from you.” I started weeping again. I couldn’t grasp what continued to happen.
This past week I spoke at the HRUnite! conference in Frankenmuth, Michigan. It was an amazing smaller HR conference which was more intimate than others I’ve been fortunate to speak at. After I presented, I received a note from Kimberly through Linked In. She said, “I thought you’d like to see this . . .”
I read the post from Avion Hospitality and the tears began to flow again. You see, Yolanda was recognized at her national conference. They showed me speaking on the stage using the closing slide I’ve been using showing the picture of Kimberly and Yolanda. They said –
“For the second year in a row, Yolanda Johnson was highlighted at the National Society for Human Resource Conference and shown on stage as an example of finding a company and career you love. Yolanda is Guest Services Manager at Embassy Suites Energy Corridor and clearly had a positive impact on this guest. Congratulations, Yolanda, on succeeding in your quest to welcome every guest and make them feel like family. We should all be so lucky to encounter your energy and enjoy our work as much as you.”
I left a comment on the post and the Embassy Suites account wrote me back. Yolanda’s story just keeps going on and on.
So, I’ll ask again. Is this how you view what YOU do? If not, why not? Yolanda has chosen to bring her whole being to all she does and her story is now touching people around the globe. May we all learn from her and change how we view our jobs. You never know who will tell your story to others !!
The year was 1980 and I was a junior in high school. I was geeked to jump into more college prep courses and one of those was Chemistry. This class was only open to juniors and seniors. Many of my friends signed up as well, but we weren’t really sure how it was going to go. We heard that a new teacher was going to teach Chem and that brought about an air of uncertainty.
We didn’t handle “new” well. I joined the Ada school system in 7th grade and it took me almost an entire year to break in to find my way and make friends. That’s because the vast majority of my classmates had been together since Kindergarten. Now that I’d been accepted into the mix and going to my fifth year with this cohort of peers, I was as skeptical as they were about any new teacher.
As we took our seats, this slender man with large glasses entered the room and turned to the blackboard. With a piece of chalk, he printed his name . . . Mr. Lusk.
It didn’t seem to fit. He was VERY young compared to the much older teachers in our high school. He had a mild demeanor and softly introduced himself.
“Hi there. My name is David Lusk and I’m your new Chemistry teacher. I recently graduated from Ohio Northern University and this is my first class and first day teaching full-time.”
Our jaws hit the floor. He was brand new !! I’m sure he had some student teaching experience, but nothing like taking on a group of juniors and seniors who were extremely close and familiar with each other. We were sure that this was going to go south. Being immature, even though we had all of life already figured out, we made up our minds we were going to give him a shot, but we were going to stretch the boundaries as much as possible too.
The first few weeks were pretty tame. We jumped into learning the Periodic Table and started with the very basic building blocks of Chemistry. He seemed to be chill enough and the classes were interesting. He gave us a schedule of labs we’d be doing and our interest peaked. I hung out with three of my close friends and we maneuvered our desks to be like a little pod in between the two large, long lab stations. We didn’t ask. We just shuffled together and watched to see how Mr. Lusk would respond. He didn’t mind and we didn’t pay attention to the seniors or the other juniors in the room. The seniors were marking time and had little interest in the subject or the new teacher. The girls who were in the class were crazy rule followers and they felt the four of us should get back in the rows of desks like all of the other kids. Upsetting them was icing on the cake.
After about a month, we had an unusually early snow. Our room was on the first floor in the “new” wing of our school. We had a large paned window with a small panel that would jut out just about ten inches. As class was going on, my buddy, Tom leaned over and said, “Watch this. It’s time.” He ducked out of his desk went back to the window and popped it out. Mr. Lusk was writing formulas on the blackboard and people were frantically taking notes.
Tom popped back into his desk with a giant, fresh snowball. “What are you going to do with that?” I asked. “You’ll see.” He stood up and threw the snowball to the front of the room easily and it smashed into the blackboard !! We sat there in awe and anticipation to see how the new teacher would react. Tom was ready to get busted and go to the Principal’s office. It was an epic act of anarchy and we were sure he was going down.
What happened next set our opinion of Mr. Lusk going forward. He reached up calmly, wiped off the wet streaks of snow and kept writing the formulas. Not a word. He didn’t turn around. No reaction at all. As we received evil glares from the rule girls about what dorks we were, we sat there in pure admiration. Class ended about thirty minutes later and Mr. Lusk still didn’t bite on our attempt to rattle him.
The four of us formed a group called The Conclave (we were massive nerds in school) and we decided we’d be Mr. Lusk’s champions and supporters from then on. It was the best decision Tom, Jamie, Greg and I ever made. We ended up learning lesson after lesson from Mr. Lusk. He even added Chem II and taught Physics our senior year. We were the first to sign up. Tom and I also scheduled it so that every, single study hall, we went to the Chem room to hang out with Dave.
After graduation, we still made sure to stay in touch with Mr. Lusk and drop in every so often to see how he was doing. Every time we did, he’d explain that we were his first class with pride. He continued to check in with us long after we completed college, got married, had kids, and stepped into our careers.
This weekend, I was able to go to his retirement party 43 years after he stepped into that Chemistry room with a bunch of goofy juniors. He has been honored year after year as the best teacher and most beloved teacher at the high school. He has taught well over 1,000 kids the joy, magic, and importance of Chemistry and Physics. He was active in tons of additional activities including running the school Quiz Teams, overseeing Student Government, and taking trips to Cedar Point to let kids enjoy the amusement park.
The receiving line for Mr. Lusk started at 2:00 pm and didn’t wane until the reception was over at 5:0o pm. An endless group of people including community members, former teachers, members of his church, and alumni from the many years he taught came to tell him “Thank you” for all he had done.
Greg Lavan and I were the two members of his first class who came back. You need to remember when Dave was starting his teaching journey, he was 22 years old and we were . . . 17 !! We were basically peers. We’re on the precipice of entering our 60s and he is just a bit ahead.
When I was able to have some time with him, we embraced with a deep fondness. I tried as best I could to express to him how he changed my life and I wouldn’t be who I am without his investment. We both had tears welling up in our eyes as we shared our moment and I giggled as he stood in his Monty Pythonesque “I’m not dead yet . . .” t-shirt and jeans.
I spent hours with Greg and another classmate, Dave West, who was a year younger than us and we shared hours of stories, laughs and joy about Mr. Lusk and his impact on our lives and the lives of others.
Left to right: Dave West, Steve Browne, Mr. Lusk and Greg Lavan
I spent five hours a week with Mr. Lusk for a year in class and then ten hours a week my senior year in class and infinite hours skipping study hall. He embraced The Conclave and every. single. student. who entered his classroom over his 43 years. He left a mark that set direction in my life and had as much of a meaningful, lasting impression as my parents. I love him and he knows it.
I share this story not only to honor him but to remind you dear reader that you leave a mark on people every time you encounter them. This is true whether you intend to or not. Don’t overlook this. Choose to leave a positive, long-lasting impact and influence as Mr. Lusk did.
You never know what will come of this. Being intentional and cognizant of this reality will shape your attitude and approach toward others. I have taken the example Mr. Lusk exhibited to heart. I do my best to be mindful of leaving a positive impact on people every time I have a chance to be with others.
To thank Dave, I found a mint copy of Zenyatta Mondatta by The Police issued in 1980 the first year he taught. Greg and I signed it as two members of The Conclave. One last chance to leave a memento. So grateful that he swiped the snowball off the board and kept going. He has made an everlasting and eternal investment in the lives of many because he did.
As I mentioned last week, my travels have filled my quiver with new stories and experiences. I would encourage you when you have the opportunity to attend events to make sure you do this as well. It never made sense to me that people would go to events to get credit hours to ensure they kept their letters behind their names. I know it’s important and I turn my hours in too, but it’s the last reason I go to anything.
It brings me to this week’s story. I was fortunate to meet and connect with the wonderful and talented, Rachel Druckenmiller !! I knew she was a fellow speaker at the conference, but I wanted to get to know her as a fellow human. (This is another thing I do at conferences. Treat speakers like approachable humans and get to know them.)
We hit it off and jumped into conversations as if we had been friends for years. I loved hearing about her family and getting to know all about her. Taking the time to hang out made it even more meaningful when I saw her take the stage to open day two as a keynote. I loved her people-centric message and approach. She had tons of relevant content that was instantly applicable to every person at their company.
One point she brought up was how all of us tend to view others in the workplace. We, unfortunately, overlook the amazing people around us and get sucked into the vortex of those who are challenging. If you don’t think that’s true, step back and listen to the conversations happening in the halls. I guarantee you that the talk is negative and focused on how people disappoint us. I think we secretly enjoy talking about people this way because we then feel we have value when we address and “fix” this.
It’s not healthy and it’s misaligned. I was agreeing with Rachel when she dropped a bomb to switch this approach altogether. She said, “Too often we say the person is the problem when it may be that the person has a problem.”
Look at that sentence again !! Changing one word from “is” to “has” completely reframes everything. Imagine how HR and the workplace would look if we had a “has” mentality in working with others. I believe it would radically transform you personally and would assuredly transform your workplace.
Yes, people can be challenging. With this, we need to remember that we are people too !! I would want others to see if I was facing a problem or working through some facet of life instead of having people label me and talk about me negatively. I’m sure you would as well.
I find talking about people as if they’re the problem is exhausting and never-ending. This must change. If we want to foster, develop and sustain a people-first culture, then we have to come at our work from a positive perspective. This week adopt a “has” approach and drop the “is” approach. Trust me, you’ll see immediate results and begin to understand you have always been surrounded by amazing humans.
